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Tag Archives: Regret

Vengeance

11 Feb

People make all kinds of decisions, both good and bad. We can do anything we want to do, and if we’re only thinking about ourselves, may make decisions that work against us. If someone hurts us and we’re angry, we might purposely do something to hurt them in return. We may lie about them and try to turn others against them to bring them pain and make them pay. Revenge can seem fair when we’re determined to settle a score, but never makes things better and can escalate an already difficult situation. We may be successful in hurting the other party and we might achieve whatever negative objectives we’re after, but the cost will be high. Hurting someone else is easy, being mean is easy, and getting revenge may feel good at first but in the end, we may lose more than we imagined. The truth of every situation will eventually be revealed and if we’ve been spiteful and conniving, or have lied or besmirched someone’s reputation unfairly, we will be found out. There is no virtue or nobility in revenge. In the end, we may lose the trust of those around us, and will only gain heartache and a loss of self-respect. Pain happens to all of us and sometimes we may be judged unfairly, or ridiculed, or we may lose something we value. Allowing anger to determine our next steps will only bring us failure and disappointment. Instead of seeking revenge, we can step back and look at everything objectively and clearly. We can decide to move forward with integrity and courage, and choose the most successful road ahead. We are defined by our actions. Making sure they represent the best of who we are will take us where we most want to go.

Time is always moving forward and there is no way to go back and change something in our past. Once we do something, even if we regret it later, it remains forever. Nothing can change it and we must live with it going forward. We all want to make good decisions but everyone makes mistakes. If we’re angry or upset, we may falter and choose something negative that brings us shame. If we’ve chosen badly, we can accept what’s happened, do what’s needed to amend any pain we’ve caused, correct our course, and continue forward.

Nothing is ever gained by hurting others. We may feel justified or vindicated if we make someone who has offended us suffer, but that is a mirage. We gain nothing through revenge. Whatever victory we believe we’ve achieved will be hallow when we realize we’ve traded our nobility to get even. We are worth more than we realize. We can hold onto to our values and choose the right when things go wrong. Every blessing is possible and by choosing wisely, even when we’re in pain, we’ll reach every destination we desire.

Today if someone has offended you and you are determined to make them pay, remember your standards are more important than revenge. Step up and move forward with integrity and honesty. You are a great blessing to the world and when you choose wisely, we all benefit. You can reach any destination you desire. Keep your eyes focused ahead, and nothing will keep you from success.

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Shields Up

7 Feb

When we’re trying hard to accomplish a difficult task and face complications, we can press forward with determination and courage. If the odds are against us and we have little support from those around us, continuing the struggle alone may make the trial harder. But if we really believe in what we’re trying to accomplish and are unrelenting in our pursuit, we can continue on no matter what challenges we must face. A shield is anything that protects us. There are physical shields we can use to be safe but we also have personal shields inside us that give us courage and help us move forward confidently. They include our determination, our stamina, our unwavering dedication and our willingness to try. We can hold our invisible shields in front of us and press forward when we’re facing difficult challenges. They are endless and strong, and with their constant availability we can accomplish almost anything. But we must be diligent to keep our shields up against the barriers in our way. If we let them fall and lose our confidence the chances of success will diminish. We have everything we need to find success and we can navigate anything before us and manage it well. We can use our shields to help us along and be confident we can succeed.

There is nothing we can’t try and if we are determined to win it will always be too early to quit. We can stay the course and continue for as long as we choose. If we get stuck, we can stop for a time, regroup and rethink our plans forward and then begin again. Some things take a long time to accomplish but if we’re dedicated to making them happen we can keep moving forward. If we quit, we are destined to fail. There is no way to win if we stop trying. If the challenge becomes too great, we can pause for now and wait until things change. Success if often about timing. What we want to do may not be possible right now but life is always changing and our circumstances change as well. What didn’t work before may work later. Setting a goal aside doesn’t mean we’ve forsaken it. We can take a break and let things roll forward without us and then return to our objective later.

Our regrets often reflect what we didn’t try. Our willingness to try for all our dreams is what brings us happiness. Some things won’t work no matter what we do, and some things will come easily. There is no way to know what we can accomplish until we put ourselves out there and give it our best. We can often do far more than we think we can. We have unlimited personal resources. We have the confidence we need, our shields to help us go forward, and our desires to lead the way. There really isn’t anything we can’t do. The world is there for those who take it. We can make our dreams come true, accomplish the seemingly impossible and find great success. It’s all there for us.

Today if you’ve been pushing hard to make something happen and you feel overwhelmed by the struggle, keep your shields up. Take another step forward. You have all the wisdom and strength you need to win. You are invincible. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Keep moving forward. Success is just ahead.

Our Gift

14 Sep

“The past is your lesson.  The present is your gift.  The future is your motivation.”  Unknown

While we’re navigating our lives and doing everything we need to accomplish we often think about our futures.  Where are we going?  What do we want to do?  How will get there?  There are questions to explore, ideas to formulate, and plans to make.  If we’re highly ambitious we may spend a lot of time planning for what lies ahead.  There is nothing wrong with making plans for the future and everyone has dreams they hope to accomplish.  But the real gift in our lives is our present.  What’s happening right now is the most important thing in our lives.  The past is behind us and we can take all the lessons we’ve learned from our previous experiences forward with us but we can’t go back.  The future lies ahead and although we may try to plan for it, nobody really knows what it will bring.  Today is the most important day of our lives.  What we’re doing right now is the only thing we have any control over.  What we’re doing, how we’re living, and what we’re learning today is the gift that helps us move forward.  We may forget how important today is if we’re heavily invested in plans for tomorrow, or grieving over something that has passed.  But today, right now, is the most precious gift we have.  If we pay attention and apply ourselves to this moment we will gain as much as possible from our experience.  Without today there would be no tomorrow.  We can honor our lives today and grab hold of everything it has to offer.

When we’re busy and have a lot to get done our time flies by.  The hours seem like minutes and before we know it the day is gone.  If we’ve rushed through it we may have missed some of the blessings available to us as we hurry to the next item on the list.  We may not even see those who pass us or hear others say hello.  Having a singular focus is helpful when there is a lot to get done.  But if we look up and pay attention as our lives rush by we will have a richer experience and deepen our connections to those around us.  It doesn’t take long to acknowledge someone and say hello, or offer a smile as we walk by.  If we take our eyes off ourselves for a moment and interact with others our days will be augmented and enhanced.  This day will be gone quickly and there is nothing we can do to get it back.  Seeing it as a gift and opening ourselves up to receiving all its blessings will bring us happiness and contentment.

They say when we’re dying we don’t regret the things we did, but the things we didn’t do.  If we knew today was our last day on earth, how would we change things?  Who would we see, and what would we do?  This may not be our last day here but if we lived our lives as though it were, how different would it look?  Would we take more time for those we love?  Would we pay more attention to those around us?  Would we offer more care and compassion?  We can change anything about how we’re living our lives at any time.  We can make each day a priority.  This life is precious.  Living each day to the fullest will bring us the most satisfaction.

Today if you’ve been rushing around to get things done, remember what a gift today is.  It’s just for you.  This is the best day of your life because it’s the only day you have.  Live everything to the fullest today.  This is your most precious gift.

I Wish

13 Jan

We have so many decisions to make in our lives.  They come at us from all directions at all times and in all ways.  There are the simple ones we make without even thinking about them and then there are the ones that leave us tremulous and worried.  We all want to make good decisions, and mostly we do, but sometimes because we don’t have all the information, or someone has deceived us, or things change unexpectedly, the decisions we make end up badly.  When that happens we may have regrets and wish things had gone differently.  Unfortunately it’s impossible to know everything or what’s coming.  We have to choose from where we are and see things as they seem at that moment.  When we look back and regret a choice we made and wish things had gone differently, we must remember that we may not have known then what we know now.  It’s hard when things go south and we get hurt because of a choice we’ve made, but nothing is certain in this life and sometimes we don’t have all the facts available to us.  No matter what’s happened, we can only go forward from where we are.  Learning from the past will help us choose more wisely the next time, but the decisions that have been made will remain forever.

We all have some regrets.  It’s impossible to live our lives perfectly and make the absolute correct decision every single time.  Sometimes things will go wrong.  And sometimes it’ll be because of something we chose.  Nobody makes decisions that bring them pain and heartache on purpose.  We do the best we can where we are.  If we take the time to see the whole picture, and ponder the ramifications of our decisions we have a better chance of things going well.  When they go well, we often don’t even think twice and just proceed on with our lives.  But when there’s a sudden stop, when something we’ve decided causes problems, our attention is clearly focused on the situation.  We may question our decision, we may regret our choice, and we may obsess over what we think we should have done, but nothing can change what’s happened.  The best we can do is move forward and amend the situation the best we can.

If our decisions are highly influenced by those around us, we may be heavily impacted.  We may doubt our ability to make good decisions without their input and if we get bad advice, we may choose a path that doesn’t work.  But we don’t need to rely on others to make good choices.  We have everything we need inside ourselves to choose well.  We can look at any situation objectively, weigh our options and if we want advice we can ask for it, but in the end we can make the best decision ourselves.  Wishing and hoping for things to go well will not ensure a good outcome.  Only by taking the time we need to evaluate the situation and see all the possible outcomes can we make the best choices possible.  Then if things go wrong we will be confident that we did the best we could.  And that confidence will carry us through until the situation improves.

Today if you’re concerned about a decision you’ve made, if you have some regret over the choice involved, remember you made the decision with all the facts you had at the time.  If things don’t go as planned, you can adjust your focus and alter your plans going forward.  Setbacks teach us how to go forward.  Be confident.  You are capable of making excellent decisions and you can choose wisely.

Sticks and Stones

27 Aug

Name calling is something most of us have done at one time or another. We get frustrated and angry, and before we know it an insulting and derogatory name or label directed at someone else flies out of our mouths. It often happens before we even think about it. We say it, we vent, and it’s over. Unfortunately, once it’s said it doesn’t go away, and it’s there forever. We can’t take it back. If we make a habit of calling people names, we may negatively impact our relationships. The old saying that “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” isn’t exactly true. Being called a name is hurtful. It stings and can cause a lot of damage, especially if the other person is someone close to us.

If someone calls us something uncomplimentary, we may throw the insult back at them by calling them a name in return. That’s fair right? They started it, and we’re going to end it. But that’s not the whole story. Our negative response, if it’s strong enough, may well end the conversation, but the damage may be long lasting. There is another way. If someone we’re interacting with gets angry and calls us something derogatory, we can choose to end the encounter. We don’t have to continue the conversation, and we can instead walk away and wait to talk with them until after things have calmed down. It takes self-control not to jump into the fray and exchange barb for barb, but we can do it. If we walk away and end the discussion before the situation becomes more intense, we have a better shot at preserving the relationship.

Sometimes we get angry and are so furious we are the ones to call someone else something awful. We may regret it the moment it passes our lips, or we may regret it later when we think things through. But what’s done is done, and there’s no changing it. If we pay attention we can recognize when we’re reaching a breaking point, and stop the discussion until everyone settles down. If we do, we may prevent situations we’ll regret. It’s always easier to protect a relationship before the damage is done than it is to patch things up after there’s been a destructive complication.

Today if you’ve been called a name by someone close to you, you may be hurt and think of leaving the relationship. Try to step back and give yourself time to think. When the dust has settled and you’re calm again, you’ll make the best decision going forward. If you’re the one who’s lost their temper and said things you regret, as soon as possible talk with the others involved and apologize for anything that was inappropriate. Our relationships are important. They take time to build. It can be hard to fix things when we’ve hurt them, but it’s harder to lose them altogether. Life is a two way street. When we get into the wrong lane, we need to adjust and correct our course. You can do that. Today, choose the high road. Be the one who makes the situation right, and brings things back to center.