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Tag Archives: Revenge

Vengeance

11 Feb

People make all kinds of decisions, both good and bad. We can do anything we want to do, and if we’re only thinking about ourselves, may make decisions that work against us. If someone hurts us and we’re angry, we might purposely do something to hurt them in return. We may lie about them and try to turn others against them to bring them pain and make them pay. Revenge can seem fair when we’re determined to settle a score, but never makes things better and can escalate an already difficult situation. We may be successful in hurting the other party and we might achieve whatever negative objectives we’re after, but the cost will be high. Hurting someone else is easy, being mean is easy, and getting revenge may feel good at first but in the end, we may lose more than we imagined. The truth of every situation will eventually be revealed and if we’ve been spiteful and conniving, or have lied or besmirched someone’s reputation unfairly, we will be found out. There is no virtue or nobility in revenge. In the end, we may lose the trust of those around us, and will only gain heartache and a loss of self-respect. Pain happens to all of us and sometimes we may be judged unfairly, or ridiculed, or we may lose something we value. Allowing anger to determine our next steps will only bring us failure and disappointment. Instead of seeking revenge, we can step back and look at everything objectively and clearly. We can decide to move forward with integrity and courage, and choose the most successful road ahead. We are defined by our actions. Making sure they represent the best of who we are will take us where we most want to go.

Time is always moving forward and there is no way to go back and change something in our past. Once we do something, even if we regret it later, it remains forever. Nothing can change it and we must live with it going forward. We all want to make good decisions but everyone makes mistakes. If we’re angry or upset, we may falter and choose something negative that brings us shame. If we’ve chosen badly, we can accept what’s happened, do what’s needed to amend any pain we’ve caused, correct our course, and continue forward.

Nothing is ever gained by hurting others. We may feel justified or vindicated if we make someone who has offended us suffer, but that is a mirage. We gain nothing through revenge. Whatever victory we believe we’ve achieved will be hallow when we realize we’ve traded our nobility to get even. We are worth more than we realize. We can hold onto to our values and choose the right when things go wrong. Every blessing is possible and by choosing wisely, even when we’re in pain, we’ll reach every destination we desire.

Today if someone has offended you and you are determined to make them pay, remember your standards are more important than revenge. Step up and move forward with integrity and honesty. You are a great blessing to the world and when you choose wisely, we all benefit. You can reach any destination you desire. Keep your eyes focused ahead, and nothing will keep you from success.

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Running With Scissors

9 Oct

Everyone tries to make good decisions and do things that will bring them happiness and success. We work hard at what we want to accomplish and try to learn as we go. But sometimes we get a little sidetracked and do things that work against us. We might say something spiteful back to someone who has hurt our feelings, or take revenge on someone because of something they did to us. These responses do nothing positive for us, but at times it feels like they give us some satisfaction. Unfortunately, they don’t ever work in our favor and do nothing to move us forward. Instead of resolving a situation, if we do things like these oftentimes we end up escalating it. It’s like running with scissors. We might get to a destination faster but the risk of making things worse is real and present.

If we’ve been hurt and are angry, returning pain for pain is always an option. We can hit back, return nasty barbs, or do something else to even the score. Unfortunately if we take this route, often instead we just up the ante. And then we have to even the score again. If things continue to escalate, the situation can get out of hand and we lose control of the objective. In every conflict we have a choice. We can try to diminish it or we can make it worse. Making it worse is never in our best interest. If we make that our pattern, we may spend a lot of time wrestling with issues instead of solving them. But it’s not fair for us to be treated badly, and sometimes we feel like we have to do something to make things right. But making things right is rarely achieved when a contest of wills gets intense.

The only way to handle a situation when we’ve been hurt, or maligned, is to be in control. The best way to gain control is to return better behavior for the insult. If someone says we’re an idiot, we don’t have to agree, but we could quietly and politely say something to diffuse the situation. If we aren’t attacking in our response, the other party has nothing to rebut. It takes two to argue and if we lower the tension, the argument has a better chance of becoming a conversation. If someone says something that deeply hurts or ridicules us, we could simply thank them for their opinion and say nothing more. Many times when others attack us personally they expect a fight. They have volleyed the first serve over the net and are in control. We can take that control away from them by managing what happens next. It isn’t easy but we are capable of deflating the conflict by being polite, and calm. Most people who like to fight like to pick on others who will take the bait. We can determine not to take it. We can decide to take control instead. And if we do, we win.

Today if someone is baiting you into an argument, if you’ve been insulted or demeaned, you don’t have to enter the fight. You can take control of the situation be being calm and polite. No matter what happens you can return your best behavior. You can be better, and you can silence the conflict. You are strong and capable of making excellent choices. Today make the choice that puts you on top. That’s the best place to be, and is exactly where you belong.

The Best Revenge

5 May

Revenge – Something we all think we want when we’ve been hurt. We are angry, and we want to show those that hurt us that we can hurt them back. We want them to suffer as much as we have suffered. We want them to feel worthless, and rejected. We want them to feel pain. Sometimes we want them to feel a lot of pain. When we’re plotting revenge, we absolutely do not care about what is right or wrong. We just want to get even. Make them pay. Settle it once and for all. They started it, and we’re going to finish it.

On the outside, revenge seems fair. They hurt us, so now we’re going to hurt them. If we get back at them, the playing field remains level. And after all, fair is fair. Sometimes we buy into that, and go for the throat, and inflict all the damage we can. But if we think about what revenge really is, we realize it’s just a way to bring ourselves down to the level of the one that hurt us. Taking revenge just means that we are willing to mimic their bad behavior, and make it our own. We are willing to become them – the ones that started it. That’s really all revenge is. Getting even means standing on the same ground, and being the same. So to get even, we have to drop to their level. If we think about it like that, revenge doesn’t have the same punch. Nobody really wants to be less than they are, not even to get even.

There is a way to get back at those that hurt us without becoming like them, without lowering ourselves down to where they are. And it’s effective every time. All we have to do is look up, live better, rise above the fray, and with grace and composure, settle the score by not buying into the game. Refuse to play. It’s seems counter intuitive at first when you think about it. How can we get back at someone for hurting us without hurting them in return? We do it by standing tall, taking a breath, and letting it go. We do it by becoming better despite the pain. We do it by being more noble than they are.

There is a saying that the “best revenge is living well.” And it’s absolutely true. What could be more annoying to someone who has hurt us, than to see us succeed? What could be more galling to them than to see us happy? There is nothing that will bother them more or longer than that. Hitting them back, going for the throat, is a temporary fix. We might feel better in the short run, but the problem will still be there. Living well is the only way to permanently end the battle.

Today if someone hurts you, be calm, be polite, smile, be gracious, and do what will make YOU happy. Live happily. Live well. Keep smiling. It will drive your enemies crazy with envy. Your grace and success, and your happiness will hurt them more than anything else you could do. And really, what better revenge could there be than that!