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Straight Lines

10 Feb

Our lives don’t usually travel in straight lines. As we move forward, perhaps we take one road and hit a detour, and then turn our course toward another direction. Sometimes we change direction several times until we find our way. We learn as we go, and as we’re learning we modify where we’re headed. At first we might think we know the way, but after several complications make an adjustment. Most things we accomplish are done through trial and error. The errors aren’t permanent road blocks, but merely indications that some correction is needed. Generally the only time we move forward in a straight line is when we’re traveling a road we’ve already conquered. When we’ve been there before, we know the way and it’s easy to get from the beginning to the end. But when we want to go somewhere new, it’s all up for grabs. Maybe this way will work, may that. It doesn’t matter how many times it takes us to find the direction that works. What matters is that we don’t quit when the first road doesn’t take us there.

If we want to do something and the first time out doesn’t work, we don’t have to continue. We can quit. If we didn’t find our way the first time we may decide that trying again isn’t worth the effort. Our lives belong to us and we can manage them any way we like. But if we really want to get somewhere, and it’s important to us, we can try again. The great thing about life is we get unlimited chances to figure things out. We are where we are at any given moment. We know what we’ve learned so far and when we’re reaching for something new there will be situations we haven’t yet faced. We won’t know the perfect way to get there, and sometimes don’t know how much effort it will take. But we do know where we want to go, and knowing that will give us the temerity and courage to find our way.

Failure doesn’t happen when we don’t find our way the first time. Failure only happens when we give up and quit trying. We can get lost again and again and again, but if we reset our direction and try one more time, we haven’t failed. We’ve learned more than we knew when we started out, we’ve discovered what doesn’t work, and we can keep refining things until we get to the destination. There are lots of different roads to every destination. If we keep going, turning here when needed, redirecting there when we reach a detour, we will find our way. We are creative and strong enough to keep going. If the goal is important, it really doesn’t matter how many times it takes us to reach it. What’s important is that we keep going until we succeed. And when we’ve achieved a difficult goal, when we’ve finally mastered everything we need to be successful we will feel great accomplishment, and our confidence will soar. There really isn’t anything we can’t do if we want to badly enough. We can climb mountains, build cities, master new skills, and become the person we most want to be. Everything is available to us. All we have to do is keep going. There is no road too long to travel, no journey too hard to conquer, and no goal too lofty to reach. We can do anything.

Today if you’ve been trying to accomplish something and haven’t found the right road yet, keep trying. It’s there and you will see it. Every road you’ve taken so far has brought you closer to where you want to be. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Try again. The goal is just around the next bend. It’s waiting for you and you will reach it. Don’t stop. You have everything you need to succeed.

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Burns and Scars

4 Feb

Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes we have fun and things go well, sometimes the bottom falls out and our dreams are shattered, and sometimes it’s some version in between. Nobody gets through their lives without being hurt from time to time, and when we’re really hurt and burned badly, it takes time to heal. If our dreams have gone up in smoke, if we’ve been betrayed by a loved one, or what we thought was real turns out to be a mirage, we can be devastated. Getting burned hurts. It hurts a lot and it takes time to recover. When we burn our skin, if the burn is very deep and serious, it has to heal from the bottom up. Dead cells must be removed from the top of the burn to allow it to heal more quickly and prevent scarring. The removal of that layer is often painful but necessary for recovery. When we’ve been emotionally hurt we have to do the same thing. We have to rub off the initial shock, confusion, and denial in order to get to the heart of the matter and recover. We can’t look the other way or the burn will never heal. It can be very painful to look at things completely when we’re devastated. It’s difficult to go through the process of removing obstacles to recovery, but if we do, we will be able to heal and go forward with renewed confidence.

When we’ve been hurt on the outside, after the wound heals we often develop a scar. If the wound was intense and very invasive, the scar may be large and thick. If we were only hurt a little, the scar may be smaller and smoother, but there is always a scar of some type after the wound heals. Over time scars refine and become less noticeable but they never go away. There is no way to be completely restored to our original state, and they will always be reminders of what happened to cause them. When we’re emotionally hurt and recover, we carry scars with us going forward as well. At the beginning if the scar is invasive and thick, it may keep us from making certain choices or feeling confident. Over time as we grow and change, just like the scars on the outside, the scars on the inside will refine. They will never go away completely, and we’ll always remember what caused them. But they will smooth out and we’ll find ways around them. Scars aren’t bad. They help us remember where we’ve been, and they need not hold us back. We can learn all we can from the experience and as we heal we can move forward.

As years pass, our appearances change through the normal course of aging. The laughter or sadness we’ve experienced show in lines on our faces. Our bodies show the wear and tear of life, and all the scars from all the injuries, large and small, we’ve endured. The lines, wrinkles, and scars are proof that we’ve lived our lives. We will never be the perfect beings we were when we arrived here, and everything that leaves a mark is a testament of our courage and endurance. We are going to get burned, in more ways than one, and we’ll carry the scars from those burns until we die. They are proof of how strong we are and what we’ve overcome. This life is challenging. There is a lot to learn. Sometimes we’re going to be hurt but there is nothing we can’t overcome. We will carry the marks, the lines, and the scars forward, but we will also carry the knowledge of what we’ve learned. And learning is what it’s all about.

Today if you’ve been burned by something that has hurt you deeply, you will recover. You will find your way through and you’ll carry the experience with you going forward, and it will not hold you back. You are courageous and strong. Be confident. You can do anything and you will succeed.

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The Plague

28 Jan

There are times we may find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation with someone else. Perhaps angry words were said or exchanged, maybe somebody did something hurtful, or we simply cannot get along. People are complex and sometimes things don’t go as well as we’d like. Because it’s not pleasant and we don’t like the interaction, we may decide to avoid the other person as much as possible. If we see them coming down a hall we’re walking, we may take a sharp turn to get out of their sight. If they try to talk to us, we may mumble something and walk away, or if they send us messages or leave them on our phone, we may ignore or delete them. It’s painful to be near someone who’s hurt us, or with whom we can’t get along, and avoiding them seems like a good answer. Maybe we figure if we avoid them long enough they will eventually go away. That might work, but sometimes the exact opposite occurs and they try even harder to get our attention. The whole situation is uncomfortable, but we can get through it and we don’t have to avoid them like the plague to navigate the situation. We have other options.

If the other person is at our workplace and we don’t have the option to quit our jobs and must work with them, or if they’re in our social circle and we don’t want to give that up, we have to find a solution. If the situation is so intense that we feel physically ill at the thought of dealing with them, the first step is to understand why we feel so bad. Once we determine what is actually causing our pain we can find a way to address it. If we’ve been hurt by something that was said, we can understand that just because someone says something, even if they believe it, doesn’t make it true. We know who we are and those who know us will recognize falsehood when they hear it. If it’s something that was done, we can understand that nothing is permanent and any damage can be corrected. If we peel back the onion on our pain, and determine the root causes, we can address them and begin to heal.

Some people are disagreeable no matter what we do. Maybe they have bad attitudes, or are intensely moody and negative, or are continually angry. We can’t change anyone but ourselves and if we’re forced to deal with someone like that, we can choose to be true to who we are and do our best no matter what choices they make. If we are insulted, we may calmly state we don’t appreciate the comment, let it go, and move on. If they do something that offends us, we can bring it to their attention, explain why it was offensive and ask them not to do it again. It takes effort to think about a situation before we act, but when we do we’ll have better success at keeping our standards where we want them, and remaining positive. It’s never pleasant to be hurt or offended. It makes us feel bad, and we may doubt our worth for a moment. But we have all we need to hold our heads high, say what is needed when appropriate, and be who we are despite the difficulty. We can be cheerful in the face of calamity, and positive when others are disagreeable. There is nothing that is too hard for us. We can do anything we want even if it’s difficult.

Today if you’re dealing with someone who has hurt you, or insulted you, or made you feel less than you are, stand strong. Make the best choices possible. Say what is needed to feel confident. You are a priceless gift. If someone doesn’t recognize that, it’s their loss, not yours. Set the example for good. You are worth the very best of everything.

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Taking Chances

25 Jan

There are limitless choices we can make every day.  We can play it safe and do what is expected, or we can try something new.  We can take a chance on a different experience and stretch our wings a little.  If we want to we can take big chances and really push ourselves.  We could try base jumping, or ice climbing, or sky diving, or we can be a little more cautious and just do something small.  Some people are fearless and will try just about anything, and others of us take a more reserved stance.  If we’re fearless, trying new things may be a common experience, but if we’re more reserved we may struggle to step out of our comfort zones.  This life is all about learning.  Every day we get the chance to learn many new things and if we choose to we can take advantage of those opportunities and embellish our lives.  Taking a chance will open new doors for us, and take us to places we haven’t seen before but we have to be willing to take the first step to get there.  If we are, the world becomes our oyster and we can feast on many new experiences.

Playing it safe and sticking to what we know brings comfort for many of us.  We may not want to venture too far from home plate and risk not making it back.  But we can’t prevent what comes to us whether we take a chance or not, and control is just an illusion.  We can do everything possible to stay within the lines and still face complications.  There is no such thing as perfect safety.  We live in a world with many other people, all of whom are making decisions all the time.  Some of those decisions will impact us no matter what we do.  Unless we isolate ourselves in some sort of fortress and never venture out, it’s probable that the unexpected will come.  And when it does, we will manage it.  There isn’t anything that will happen that we can’t manage.  That being true, stepping out a little and taking a chance on something new is always possible.

When we open the door to new experiences, we discover hidden talents within ourselves.  Our routines only stretch us so far.  If we really want to know what we can do, we need to break the mold.  There is no way to know what we can accomplish unless we try.  We all have skills that lie dormant because our current lifestyles don’t require them.  If we change things up, we have the opportunity to awaken them and learn more about ourselves.  We are complex and capable people.  We can do anything we want to do.  Stepping out, stretching, trying new things, and taking a chance will open our lives up to experiences that will enrich us, and deepen our understanding of our world.  We only get one time around in this life.  If we make the most of it, and try many new things we’ll be more fulfilled and happier with our experience here.

Today if you’re thinking about taking a chance on something new, go for it.  You won’t know what you can do until you begin.  There really is nothing too difficult or complicated for you to try.  Get the most out of your life and stretch your wings.  You may be surprised at how quickly you learn to fly.

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You Pick

23 Jan

We interact with all kinds of people every day. Sometimes we say hello in passing, sometimes we have long conversations and work together, and sometimes we have disagreements. If a discussion becomes intense, the disagreement may escalate. When things become contentious and tempers rise, we may become very uncomfortable. But we always have a choice to continue the conversation and let it play out no matter what, or stop and return to it again another time. Unfortunately, when we’re in the heat of the situation, especially if offensive things are being said, we may get so caught up that we forget to think about anything but pushing forward. Being in control of ourselves is easy when things are going well but when we’re in conflict it’s harder and more difficult to manage. However, no matter what is said or done, we always have the opportunity to choose how we will proceed. We can step back until things settle down, or we can go storming ahead and give it all we’ve got. We get to pick. Of course, the other party gets to pick too. But if they’re pressing the argument and we don’t want to continue, we can step away.

As human beings, we have all kinds of instinctive survival mechanisms. The fight or flight reflex is part of that. If we feel we’re being attacked, it prompts us to either fight back or leave the situation. Which way we go depends on how we’re wired and how much self-control we can exercise at the time. For some of us the first response to threat is to fight. For others the first thought is to run – or leave the situation. We’re all geared a little differently but no matter what we instinctively feel, we have the option to control our response by thinking about it first. If we’re fighters, that means we have to stop before we escalate the situation further and think of a better plan. If we’re runners, we have to be brave enough to face the situation and determine how to navigate it more effectively. Either way, the choice is ours. The excuse some offer when things go wrong of, “That’s just how I am,” is unhelpful. Conflict comes to us all. How we manage it is up to us.

Sometimes even if we try to modify a volatile situation, or try to diffuse the tension, the other party will not back down. That is their choice and if that happens and nothing we say or do improves the situation, if things continue to escalate and we don’t feel secure, we can walk away. We don’t have to stay engaged in any interaction that makes us feel distressed or threatened. We are entitled to do what is best for us. Even if the other party has some sort of authority over us, we may calmly state that we are not comfortable and need to leave. Sometimes just stating our discomfort will diffuse the situation and things will improve. Sometimes not. Every situation is different but we have the right to feel calm and safe in all our dealings. We are valuable and important. We can pick what we’ll do and what we’ll take. We can choose to stay and continue an exchange or we can leave. Leaving doesn’t mean we’re conceding or giving up. It means we are choosing to control how we will go forward.

Today if you’re involved in a discussion that makes you uncomfortable, decide how you want to handle it. You can try to work through it or you can leave and return to it another time. You can be polite and respectful and get what you need to go forward. Your feelings are valuable and should be honored. You can be in control of yourself. Be confident and choose what is best for you.

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