Tag Archives: Positive

House of Mirrors

18 Oct

We’re all different and our experiences as we go through our lives make us into the people we become.  Most of us learn from things that go wrong and adjust our lives to prevent making the same mistakes going forward.  But some people have trouble discerning the mistakes they make.  It’s hard for them to understand how their actions connect to what happens to them.  It’s not our place to judge what anyone else does but if we have people like this in our lives, we may be affected.  It’s hard to have a relationship with someone who continually makes choices that bring heartache and trouble.  We may find ourselves continually adjusting to the next disaster and trying to find a way around it.  Although we are only responsible for the decisions we make, we may be seriously impacted by those made by others close to us.  Like paint, they can smear their dysfunction all over our lives and before we know it we may get caught up in their problems in ways that are not helpful.  If we remember we are individuals and have complete ownership over our own decisions, we can stand beside someone who struggles and be supportive without becoming part of the issue.  We can be friends without getting caught up in turmoil and confusion.  Learning to stand beside someone and still stand apart will help us navigate through any difficult relationships we have.  Life isn’t always easy but we have everything we need to find the right road going forward that will bring us comfort and peace.

We don’t know what we don’t know.  Sometimes we may begin a relationship with someone that seems positive and satisfying.  We connect with them, we think we understand them and they seem to understand us.  It’s great to make connections with others that make us feel good and brighten our lives.  But sometimes people hide their true selves and it takes time for their real behaviors to shine through.  When things change, if the turn is dramatic enough, we may feel we’ve entered a house of mirrors.  Nothing is as we thought and we aren’t sure what to do next.  We are always in control of our lives and never have to stay in any situation that is uncomfortable.  We can make a turn and change our lives at any time.

We may get into situations where the people we’re associating with begin to make decisions we aren’t comfortable with.  They are choosing to continue toward a goal we don’t want or their methods are ideas we don’t agree with.  We always have the power to change any relationships in our lives.  We aren’t assigned to others and can move in a new direction away from those near us at any time.  Our lives are ours to design and we can decide how we will proceed.  We can be confident when we make choices that take us where we want to go and courageously continue forward toward success.

Today if you’re in a relationship that isn’t working or have been caught up in a situation that is moving you toward a destination you don’t want, take control.  You know where you want to go and have everything you need to get there.  You don’t have to stay in any situation that isn’t comfortable.  Change direction and move forward toward success.  You can do anything you desire and every option is possible.

Making it Better

23 May

Everywhere we go and with everything we do, we leave an impression that we were there.  People remember us and the things we do, we impact our surroundings in different ways, and there is no way to prevent leaving evidence of our presence behind.  We change our environment every time we are part of it.  Sometimes the marks we leave are clearly evident and sometimes they are small but they will always be there.  We have a choice therefore, to either leave behind something negative or something positive.  If we don’t care or don’t pay attention as we go through our lives, our impact may not always be the positive influence we may want it to be.  But if we tune in and remember that everything we do changes something, we can leave each situation a little better.  Even if all we do is have a positive attitude as we attend to our responsibilities we may lift those around us.  There is no way to be invisible and no matter what we do, it will make some kind of difference.  Making that difference better helps everyone around us and makes our days a little easier.

Everybody has a bad day from time to time.  Maybe we don’t feel well, or we have pressures on us that are complicating our lives, or the weather is making our day difficult, or a thousand other things.  If we let our discomfort define how we act it can make things worse.  If we’re grumpy and pass that on to others, our interactions with them may be more difficult.  If we don’t feel well and ignore those who come into our circle, we may make a negative impact on them.  Things go wrong and we all have times when we don’t feel happy or at our best.  But we don’t have to share our bad fortune with those around us.  If we need time alone to get through our situation, we should take it.  If we need rest we should make sure we get it.  And if we must interact when we aren’t at our best, we can remember the issue is ours and doesn’t need to become everyone else’s.

We can’t control what comes to us but we can control our response to it.  If something uncomfortable is going on we can display that discomfort to everyone around us, or we can choose to be positive despite it.  That doesn’t mean being dishonest with our feelings or pretending things are great when they aren’t.  It just means managing our response in ways that don’t accentuate the negative situation we’re dealing with and remembering that no matter what we’re facing we’ll get through it.  Even if what we’re going through feels like the end of the world, in time we’ll move on to something better.  If we focus on the big picture and trust ourselves we will face our challenges more confidently and positively.  If we choose to be an example of grace, patience, endurance, and peace even when we’re working out a problem, our influence on those around us will be positive and uplifting.  Everything we do will make a difference.  We can make that difference a benefit and be a blessing.

Today if you’re feeling down or angry or upset or frustrated or whatever, and not at your best, remember you can manage anything that comes to you.  You have a lot of influence over those around you.  You’re going to touch a lot of people every day.  Let that touch be kind, loving, and patient.  Your consideration will return to you over and over and everyone, including you, will be happier because of it.

Ivory Towers

6 May

This life is filled with all kinds of interpretations, expressions, ideals and doctrines. Everyone is different and we are entitled to adopt whatever reasoning or rationales we choose. Sometimes we’ll agree with others, sometimes we won’t but we may choose whatever path we like going forward. Unfortunately, because of our differences, there may be some who choose to isolate themselves in order to stay away from others. They may believe their thoughts are superior or so different from those around them they should be set apart. If we choose to do that and construct a virtual ivory tower around us, keeping others at a distance, it may become impossible to understand the world and those in it. It will certainly be harder to relate to those around us if we exclude ourselves from interacting with them. If we stay separate we might find ourselves misunderstood and alone much of the time. This life is all about interacting with those around us. If we’re alone there is no chance to do that or to grow from those experiences. It’s better to set our personal standards and still continue to be a part of the group. Joining in doesn’t mean we have to completely assimilate. It just means we can participate which will bring us great blessings and continued growth.

The world and our societies continue to evolve as time passes. Perhaps we feel we’d be more comfortable with the way things were in the past, and maybe today’s norm doesn’t feel right for us. No matter what is going on with others or what is considered commonplace, we can always choose to live our lives our own way. We don’t have to match everyone else and we don’t have to do things that make us uncomfortable. We can hold fast to the methods and patterns that work for us and take the best of what’s around us and make it our own. There is no one perfect way to live a life. We all get to choose our own way and we can do it effectively without completely avoiding anything new.

Learning to work with those around us and interact with them in positive ways is easy for some, and more difficult for others. If we’re innately social it may be easier for us to manage differences and get along while keeping our own standards. If we’re uncomfortable in social settings it may be harder to understand others and find our voices. But either way, we can be part of the group and if we’re patient and embracing of differences, we can learn from them. We never need to isolate ourselves or hide away to find our way through. We are capable of sharing our lives and letting others share their lives with us. Everyone has gifts to offer. If we let them in we can learn new things, experience new understanding, and become richer and more integrated. We’re all in this together. Sharing the experience and being a part of it will bring us the most in return.

Today if you’ve been setting yourself apart and hanging back, step up. You have a lot to share and we all want to know you. Talk to those around you and get to know them. Open your heart and let others follow. Your life will be richer as you make new friends and companions to share the journey.

The Plague

28 Jan

There are times we may find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation with someone else. Perhaps angry words were said or exchanged, maybe somebody did something hurtful, or we simply cannot get along. People are complex and sometimes things don’t go as well as we’d like. Because it’s not pleasant and we don’t like the interaction, we may decide to avoid the other person as much as possible. If we see them coming down a hall we’re walking, we may take a sharp turn to get out of their sight. If they try to talk to us, we may mumble something and walk away, or if they send us messages or leave them on our phone, we may ignore or delete them. It’s painful to be near someone who’s hurt us, or with whom we can’t get along, and avoiding them seems like a good answer. Maybe we figure if we avoid them long enough they will eventually go away. That might work, but sometimes the exact opposite occurs and they try even harder to get our attention. The whole situation is uncomfortable, but we can get through it and we don’t have to avoid them like the plague to navigate the situation. We have other options.

If the other person is at our workplace and we don’t have the option to quit our jobs and must work with them, or if they’re in our social circle and we don’t want to give that up, we have to find a solution. If the situation is so intense that we feel physically ill at the thought of dealing with them, the first step is to understand why we feel so bad. Once we determine what is actually causing our pain we can find a way to address it. If we’ve been hurt by something that was said, we can understand that just because someone says something, even if they believe it, doesn’t make it true. We know who we are and those who know us will recognize falsehood when they hear it. If it’s something that was done, we can understand that nothing is permanent and any damage can be corrected. If we peel back the onion on our pain, and determine the root causes, we can address them and begin to heal.

Some people are disagreeable no matter what we do. Maybe they have bad attitudes, or are intensely moody and negative, or are continually angry. We can’t change anyone but ourselves and if we’re forced to deal with someone like that, we can choose to be true to who we are and do our best no matter what choices they make. If we are insulted, we may calmly state we don’t appreciate the comment, let it go, and move on. If they do something that offends us, we can bring it to their attention, explain why it was offensive and ask them not to do it again. It takes effort to think about a situation before we act, but when we do we’ll have better success at keeping our standards where we want them, and remaining positive. It’s never pleasant to be hurt or offended. It makes us feel bad, and we may doubt our worth for a moment. But we have all we need to hold our heads high, say what is needed when appropriate, and be who we are despite the difficulty. We can be cheerful in the face of calamity, and positive when others are disagreeable. There is nothing that is too hard for us. We can do anything we want even if it’s difficult.

Today if you’re dealing with someone who has hurt you, or insulted you, or made you feel less than you are, stand strong. Make the best choices possible. Say what is needed to feel confident. You are a priceless gift. If someone doesn’t recognize that, it’s their loss, not yours. Set the example for good. You are worth the very best of everything.

Suddenly

8 Dec

When we’re trying hard to accomplish something very difficult, or trying to change something in our lives that’s hard, it can seem like the road is never ending.  We push, and we inch forward, and then we have a setback, and it seems despite all we’ve done, we’re back at the beginning again.  Change takes time and when we’re trying hard to accomplish it, we can get frustrated and feel stuck.  But if we keep going forward, even when it feels like we’re going nowhere, eventually something happens that breaks us through.  Something finally goes right, and we feel recharged and hopeful again.  It’s like suddenly everything changes and we realize we can do this.  When we get a break, even a small one, we realize we can keep going and when it happens, in that moment everything is different.  If we were discouraged, we feel buoyed up.  If we felt defeated, we feel we can prevail.  It’s amazing when it happens.  Suddenly everything has changed and we’re renewed.

Although we know we can accomplish anything we choose to do, if it’s something big, something far reaching or we’re trying hard to change, it can be daunting and overwhelming at times.  We know what we want to do, and we know how to get there, but the road is long, and filled with detours and complications.  We can get discouraged and sometimes we might even consider giving up.  We might think we should just let it go and move on to something easier.  But accomplishing something difficult isn’t impossible – it’s just difficult.  We are capable of facing difficulties, and we’ve proven that over time.  We can face them, we can process them, we can manage them, and we can overcome them.  If we keep that in mind, if we remember the successes we’ve already had, we can press forward and day by day we will get closer to where we want to go.

That light at the end of the tunnel will come.  That break we’ve needed will finally arrive.  And when it does, everything will change.  Even the smallest gain, or the tiniest encouragement, can change everything.   Perhaps one person notices our efforts and compliments us, or maybe there is one small adjustment that allows us to move up.  Whatever it is, when the positive moment comes, suddenly we can see the road ahead and we know we can traverse it.  We are resilient and capable.  There isn’t anything we can’t do.  We have all the courage and stamina we need to make any change we want to.  And when the blessing finally comes to us, when we achieve the objective and grab the gold ring, it will be worth everything we did to get there.

Today if you’ve been pushing and trying so hard to make a change and it seems like you’ve been constantly going uphill against the wind, hang on.  The break you need is just around the next bend.  It’s right at the doors.  Take another step forward, and hold on for another day.  All the blessings you are seeking are there for you, and will be worth everything you’re facing now.  There is sunshine and light just ahead.  You can do everything you need to get to it.  You are amazing and you have everything you need to succeed.  Just keep going.