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Poison Ivy

24 Feb

There are a lot of nice people in the world. People who care, who are kind, and who share their lives with us in positive and helpful ways. But unfortunately, there are also people who choose a different path. There are some who are mean, cruel, even criminal, and if they come into our lives, they can have a very negative impact. We don’t always know their true colors at the beginning which leaves us open for disaster. It’s like taking a walk in the woods and not knowing what poison ivy looks like. We see a vine that’s green and vibrant, and have no idea when we touch it that its powerful affects will cause us pain and discomfort. It’s only after our exposure that we see the terrible result. If someone in our lives presents themselves as caring and kind but in truth is manipulative and cruel, and we share our lives with them, when we discover the truth we will be hurt. If it’s someone we must interact with because of circumstances beyond our control, and we are forced to see them because they are family members, coworkers, or neighbors, the discomfort may be intense. When someone hurts us because they’ve fooled us, lied to us, or manipulated us, it takes time to heal. If we have to continue to see them, it takes even longer.

Life is all about learning. We don’t know what we don’t know, and the only way to find out what we don’t know is to learn as we go. That means we may trust someone who is untrustworthy because we don’t have all the facts. People who set their hearts on deception don’t tell us before they deceive that is their plan. They keep it secret and if they are very practiced, may expertly manipulate us to achieve their goal, whatever that may be. We may figure the truth out quickly, or we may be involved with them for years before we see things as they really are. But sooner or later, when we find the truth it may be devastating. We may feel like fools. We may blame ourselves thinking we should have known and feel horrible. But the blame for deception lies solely with the deceiver. We have no ownership for their behavior. We trusted, which is noble and good, and extended ourselves as friends. It can be hard to forgive ourselves when we’ve fallen for a lie, but believing in others until we have a reason not to, is appropriate.

When we are trying hard to be the best we can, it’s difficult to understand someone who chooses to deceive or hurt us purposely. It’s hard to comprehend such maliciousness but we are not responsible for anyone’s choices but our own. We can decide how to respond. We can choose to be noble even if someone near us has been hateful. We can choose to stand up for what’s right, even if we’ve been stung by what is wrong. If we must interact with them going forward, we can still be our best. We are courageous and brave enough to be near them and choose the right. We can set the example for good even in the face of trouble. We are stronger than we think we are. We know what is right, and nothing, and nobody, can ever diminish that.

Today if you’ve been hurt by someone who purposely deceived you or manipulated you to get something they wanted, it isn’t your fault. You know more now than you did before, and that knowledge will help you going forward. You are worth the very best of everything. You can choose the right and take the higher road at every step. There is an old saying that the best revenge is living well. No matter what has happened, no matter who has hurt you, live well. You know who you are. Choose the very best path. There is nothing that will diminish you.

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I Think I Can

22 Feb

In all our lives, there are times when we want to try something new, stretch, and reach for a goal that is beyond where we are. We think about it, we wonder about it, and sometimes it haunts us when we want to do it but haven’t started because we aren’t sure we can. If we want it badly enough, at some point we will have to stop ignoring it and start going for it. It might be a professional goal, or an educational goal, or a physical goal, or it might just be a change we want to make in our lives that will take effort. Whatever it is, before we start going forward and doing what is needed to achieve it, we must believe we can do it. It’s easy to talk ourselves out of trying something new. There are countless reasons not to attempt it. It might be hard. We may have to change our schedules. It may be inconvenient. It may take away from our personal time, or it may take a long time to achieve.  There are a thousand reasons that may come forward to discourage us from trying. But if we want to do anything, no matter what it is, we only need one reason to do it – because we want to.  And all we have to do to start is believe that we can.

We can do anything we want to do, but if we share our dreams or goals with others, we may not get positive support for our decision to try. Our friends and family love us and sometimes they think they know what’s best for us. They don’t mean to quash our dreams when we share them, but they may feel they are protecting us because we might fail. And they are right. We might fail. And if we don’t try failure is a certainty. But we won’t know what we can do unless we try. If we try and fail, we will have learned a lot as we’ve moved forward, and we can use that information to try again. If we believe we can succeed, and try our best, there is a high probability that we’ll conquer the challenge and gain the prize. It may not be easy but we are capable of taking on difficult tasks. It might take a lot of time, but the time will go by even if we aren’t striving for what we want. It might mean we have to change our personal schedules but we can handle that. We can manage anything we need to change to accommodate this challenge. We can go forward with confidence and we can succeed.

Our lives are ours to live any way we choose. We can take the easy road and keep things the same and predictable. There is nothing wrong with that if we don’t want to learn anything new and don’t want to grow. But learning is a gift we give to ourselves. It embellishes who we are, and deepens our understanding of life. Personal growth allows us to understand ourselves and those around us more completely. And that understanding goes a long way in helping us navigate the challenges that come to us. If we want to be the very best we can and get everything out of our experience here on earth we have to be willing to push ourselves. We have to believe we can do anything. If we do, we’ll enlarge our capacity for understanding, and stretch our wings to encompass anything we set out to do. They say faith precedes the miracle. We don’t get faith after we’ve succeeded. We must have faith first. We really can do anything we want to do. Anything is possible. We just have to believe.

Today if you’ve been thinking about trying something new and you really want to achieve it, you can. Start moving forward today. The first step is all you need to take. The next will follow and if you have sufficient faith, you will succeed. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Take the first step today. Let your confidence lead you all the way to the finish line.

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Photoshop

18 Feb

In today’s technical age there are all kinds of ways to make things seem different than they really are. Pictures can be altered to produce images that aren’t real or make the subject appear to be more perfect. These techniques are used constantly in advertising and the media has made them commonplace. When our lives aren’t going exactly the way we want them to, or we aren’t exactly where we want to be, we may wish we had something like that to make us appear different than we are. We might wish to appear taller, smarter, thinner, more attractive, more confident or a dozen other adjectives. But there is no way to “Photoshop” our lives to make them look the way we’d like them to. We are where we are, and all the pretending in the world won’t change anything. Even if we could use illusion and deception to make things look different, it can’t last forever. Eventually the curtain will fall and we’ll be exposed. But if we don’t like where we are, and if the situation we’re in isn’t working, there are things we can change. If we don’t like what we’re doing, we can stop doing it. We can make any decision we want to and adjust our lives. We probably can’t make ourselves taller but we can change a lot. We can do more than just look different on the outside. We can truly change any way we like.

It takes time to figure out what we want and where we want to go. While we’re finding our way, we may try on different things to see if we like them. Sometimes they’ll feel natural and fit where we’re headed, and other times they’ll fall away. But as we’re striving to find what we want, our lives are going by and we are expressing ourselves as we are. Sometimes those expressions aren’t exactly what we’d like. Maybe our temper needs to be tamed, or our language needs improvement, or we want to alter our appearance to better suit the desired destination. It takes time to change but we will accomplish it step by step. In the interim, we may feel unsettled and struggle to find what works best. However, even if we’re in transition we can be confident. If where we are isn’t exactly where we want to be we can continue going forward until we get there. Continuing to move forward is the key, and the confidence that comes from doing that will help us. We are fine as we are now even if it’s not where we want to be. We can manage today as it is, and each day we move forward will take us a little closer to our goal.

Sometimes the idea of changing can seem daunting and if we choose to, we may instead live our lives dishonestly. We may pretend to be someone we aren’t, say we believe things we don’t, and go along with others even when we don’t agree. But if we choose that option we can’t share our genuine unique influence. We all have special gifts to offer that nobody else can give. If we keep those gifts to ourselves and instead pretend to be something else, the world will miss the blessings we have to offer. We have the distinct privilege of making a difference because of who we are. We don’t have to use illusion and we don’t need “Photoshop” to help us. Who we really are can shine through and be a positive influence on the world. If we want to change, we can. Whatever we want to achieve, we can achieve. Wherever we want to go, we can get there. But until we do, we can genuinely be ourselves along the journey. Our contribution is valuable no matter where we are in our lives. We have a lot to offer, and the world wants to hear it.

Today if you’ve been pretending to be something you aren’t, or if you’ve been trying to look different than you really are, let it go. You have so much to give and we all need your special influence. You are great just being you. If you want to change, you can. Until then, be the best you can be exactly as you are now.

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Lost at Sea

16 Feb

As we go through our lives we try to do things right. Nobody wants to make a mistake on purpose so at each step we try to make choices that will take us where we want to go. But sometimes along the way we get lost. Maybe we took a turn we thought would lead us somewhere and it took us completely the wrong way. Maybe we got confused about the direction we were headed and fell off a cliff. Getting lost is frustrating and sometimes even frightening. Imagine we are lost at sea in the middle of the day and have no compass or visible landmarks. It’s disorienting and trying to figure out which way to go can be baffling. But getting lost does bring blessings. In the end, it’s all part of finding our way. When we’re trying to accomplish something we’ve never done before or looking for a new destination, getting lost may happen. But it’s not always a bad thing to lose our way and get confused. Sometimes when we’re stuck and nothing is working, we have the chance to clarify exactly what we want, and our true strengths come forward. We never really know who we are until things go wrong. We find out how strong we are when we have to endure, and how smart we are when we make a mistake and have to figure things out. Getting lost is all part of the process of finding ourselves. Nobody gets a paved road in this life. We all have to find our way step by step. And although we want everything to go smoothly, we actually learn more when it doesn’t.

Having an easy life where everything is handed to us seems like a great idea. We wouldn’t have to work hard, we wouldn’t have to struggle finding answers, there would be no confusion, and everything would work out without any effort. But if we didn’t have to work hard, we would never learn to be strong. If we didn’t have to find answers, we wouldn’t learn how to reason. And if we never had to put forth any effort, there would be little value in the things we acquire. When we work hard for something that confounds us and makes us push ourselves, it’s very valuable once we succeed. We know how hard it was to get through and we treasure the outcome. The harder we have to work for something, the more valuable it becomes.  The old saying, “Easy come, easy go,” is true. If we can get something for nothing or little effort, we can easily let it go. It won’t mean much because it didn’t cost us much to gain it.

What we do with our lives matters because what we do makes us who we are. It’s important to decide what we’ll work hard for, what we’ll strive for, and how we determine to succeed. If we want to be capable of greatness we have to be willing to face the possibility of great struggle. If we want to be honorable we have to be willing to make difficult decisions that bring us honor. If we want to be truly honest in all our dealings, we have to be willing to choose the right every time even if it means we lose something else. We can be anything we want to be. If we want to be the very best we can be, we must be willing to do what it takes to get there. That may mean being brave enough to take a new path even if nobody will go with us, and strong enough to believe we’ll succeed even when we get lost. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We are capable of achieving anything is this life. If we are determined there is nothing that will stop us.

Today if you’ve gotten lost trying to find you way, and you’re confused about which way to turn, think about what you really want. Then look around and the way will open up to you. Getting lost isn’t the end of the journey. You have everything you need to succeed and get anywhere you want to be. Correct your course and start again. You will find your way.

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Perfection

13 Feb

Today’s personal standards tend to be very high. It seems we’re expected to look our best all the time, be friendly and intelligent in every situation, and strive to live a high standard of living. It’s not enough for us to be normal people – more and more it seems we’re expected to be super people who never tire, never get grumpy, and are always ready for the next challenge. Of course those messages are false and unattainable. The problem is although we know it’s impossible, sometimes we buy into them and think we should meet the expectations. We might even think we need to be perfect. But what does it mean to be perfect? Is it a reflection of society’s idea of perfect, our family’s idea of it, our friends’ impressions of it, or can we decide? Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of what perfection is, and the only standard we need to measure ourselves against is the one we choose. It may be very different from person to person. But when we are striving to be our best, our standards are the only ones that count. We don’t have to be tall, or thin, or genius, or rich. We can be what we determine is best for us. It’s fine to strive for perfection as long as we define what that looks like.

The world is filled with differences. Everywhere we look there are all kinds of people, no two exactly the same. We don’t look alike, we don’t dress alike, we don’t act the same way, we don’t even speak the same language. There is no way to measure one against the other and there can’t possibly be one version that is better than another. Each has it’s own assets and draw backs. That being the case, there is no way to define what a perfect person should be. If we try to measure ourselves against others, and their expectations, we may come up short. Someone will always be more talented, more beautiful, more gifted, or more wealthy. If we want to reach personal perfection, we can do it in our own unique way.

There is often pressure to conform and be like those around us. It can seem easier if we fit in and mimic the patterns and lifestyles of those we associate with. But if we do everything the way someone else is doing it, there is no room for us to do it our way. We are experts in being ourselves. Nobody knows us like we do. We know what makes us happy, what makes us mad, and who we really are. What’s unique about us is what’s perfect. We don’t have to fit somebody else’s mold, and we don’t have to pretend we’re something we’re not. Just being who we are, striving for what’s important to us, going after the goals we want to achieve, and being completely authentic is perfect. Every one has a special gift to share with the world that nobody else can bring. If we remember that when there is pressure to conform, we’ll have the courage to be uniquely ourselves. We can do what we want, dress the way we like, and live our lives our way. And when we do, we’ll be perfect.

Today you don’t have to try to make yourself into something you aren’t in order to fit in. There is nobody else like you in the whole world. You are a blessing to us all just as you are. Be uniquely you and show us how wonderful that is. It’ll be the very best you can do. In fact, it’ll be perfect.

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