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The Delete Key

3 Jun

In this day of computers, anything we write or create may be erased with the push of a button.  It’s very convenient if we change our plans or make a mistake.  All we have to do is press the delete key and all evidence of the activity disappears.  It’s like magic. Sometimes we might wish we had a delete key for our lives.  Maybe we do something we regret, or say something we didn’t mean, or get involved in a situation that brings us sorrow.  It would be great when those things happen if we could just delete the experience and move on.  It would be such a blessing to be able to remove all reminders of the event and completely erase it from our lives.  Sadly that is never an option.  In this life, once a card is played it’s there forever.  Our actions, good or bad, become part of our irrevocable history.  We all make mistakes.  They can’t be avoided and they teach us the lessons we need to learn to be happy and successful.  But it doesn’t feel good when we’re in the midst of them and have to push through whatever complications they bring us.  Although we may wish for the delete key in our lives, if we can remember that each experience teaches us something of value we can move forward with confidence despite what has happened in the past.

As we go through our lives we enjoy happy experiences and hope they’ll stay with us.  We endure the hard ones as well, and pray they’ll end quickly.  But we learn the most from the hard times as they mold us and teach us about who we are and what we want.  Often as we look back at the things we’ve been through we see the times that were the hardest taught us the most valuable lessons.  It’s hard to be grateful for difficulty and nobody prays for trouble in their lives.  But the trouble is what teaches us.  We learn good things from the easy times and enjoy them when we have them.  The hard times aren’t usually enjoyable and even if we wish we could magically make them disappear, give us endurance and help us find pleasure and joy even when things are going wrong.  Those gifts brings a richness to our lives that easy living could never give us.  Everyone wants to live a strong, rich life and struggling helps us achieve that.

We all have some regrets.  Perhaps we have deep regrets for decisions we’ve made, but we all have the opportunity to learn from those experiences so we don’t have to repeat them.  The sorrow of heartbreak helps us appreciate those who love us.  The remorse for dishonesty reminds us how important it is to be true.  The sting of betrayal teaches us how to be loyal.  Every problem brings a blessing.  If we can remember what we’re learning when we’re struggling we won’t yearn for the delete key.  We can embrace whatever comes to us – good or bad – learn from it and go forward with more understanding and greater confidence.  People often use the phrase, “It’s all good,” when describing an experience.  In our lives that’s true – it’s all good in one way or another.

Today if you wish you could go back and erase something, and remove it as though it never happened, stop and look at how much you learned from the experience.  You have come so far and each day takes you closer to where you want to be.  Embrace everything you’re going through.  You’re becoming the person you most want to be with each step you take.  And that person is the perfect reflection of you.

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Making it Better

23 May

Everywhere we go and with everything we do, we leave an impression that we were there.  People remember us and the things we do, we impact our surroundings in different ways, and there is no way to prevent leaving evidence of our presence behind.  We change our environment every time we are part of it.  Sometimes the marks we leave are clearly evident and sometimes they are small but they will always be there.  We have a choice therefore, to either leave behind something negative or something positive.  If we don’t care or don’t pay attention as we go through our lives, our impact may not always be the positive influence we may want it to be.  But if we tune in and remember that everything we do changes something, we can leave each situation a little better.  Even if all we do is have a positive attitude as we attend to our responsibilities we may lift those around us.  There is no way to be invisible and no matter what we do, it will make some kind of difference.  Making that difference better helps everyone around us and makes our days a little easier.

Everybody has a bad day from time to time.  Maybe we don’t feel well, or we have pressures on us that are complicating our lives, or the weather is making our day difficult, or a thousand other things.  If we let our discomfort define how we act it can make things worse.  If we’re grumpy and pass that on to others, our interactions with them may be more difficult.  If we don’t feel well and ignore those who come into our circle, we may make a negative impact on them.  Things go wrong and we all have times when we don’t feel happy or at our best.  But we don’t have to share our bad fortune with those around us.  If we need time alone to get through our situation, we should take it.  If we need rest we should make sure we get it.  And if we must interact when we aren’t at our best, we can remember the issue is ours and doesn’t need to become everyone else’s.

We can’t control what comes to us but we can control our response to it.  If something uncomfortable is going on we can display that discomfort to everyone around us, or we can choose to be positive despite it.  That doesn’t mean being dishonest with our feelings or pretending things are great when they aren’t.  It just means managing our response in ways that don’t accentuate the negative situation we’re dealing with and remembering that no matter what we’re facing we’ll get through it.  Even if what we’re going through feels like the end of the world, in time we’ll move on to something better.  If we focus on the big picture and trust ourselves we will face our challenges more confidently and positively.  If we choose to be an example of grace, patience, endurance, and peace even when we’re working out a problem, our influence on those around us will be positive and uplifting.  Everything we do will make a difference.  We can make that difference a benefit and be a blessing.

Today if you’re feeling down or angry or upset or frustrated or whatever, and not at your best, remember you can manage anything that comes to you.  You have a lot of influence over those around you.  You’re going to touch a lot of people every day.  Let that touch be kind, loving, and patient.  Your consideration will return to you over and over and everyone, including you, will be happier because of it.

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How Long it Takes

15 Apr

When things go wrong or we suffer a painful loss, it’s sometimes hard to get over. We may grieve for a time, or suffer in other ways, and although we want it to go away, sometimes the healing process takes longer than we want it to. If it’s a serious loss, like a death of someone near us or a painful breakup, it may takes months or years to get through. Even devastating disappointments can take a lot of time for us to process and move forward. When we’ve been hurt badly, the damage can be all encompassing and even debilitating for a time. We might feel we can’t overcome it, and that we’ll never be right again. Grief and healing can’t be rushed. They have their own timetable and even if we think we should be over it, even if our friends and family tell us to get over it, we won’t get through until we’re done processing the loss. How long that takes is how long it takes. If we can’t accept what’s happened and hold on to denial we won’t heal until we can let go. But if we are determined to move forward, and do everything we can to face the change that has come into our lives, we will get through more quickly. There isn’t anything so difficult or painful we can’t manage. We just need to take it one step at a time and continue to take a step forward every day.

Devastating losses, no matter what they are, upset our lives. They impact us in every way. They may affect the way we feel about ourselves and others, or the hope we have for the future, and the trust we have that things will get better. If the pain is deep enough, even our personal faith may be shaken. We may question things we had previously believed were unshakable and find it hard to face another day. Human beings are incredibly resilient but we’re also incredibly fragile. If we suffer pain so great that we are rattled to the core, it will take time to put the pieces back together again. But our resilience is always there. It’s there even when we don’t feel it or can’t see it. It’s like invisible glue always ready to help us put things right again. It may take some time, and it will take determination, but we have everything we need to become whole and strong.

Suffering brings blessings. That can be hard to see when we’re struggling and everything hurts, but even when we aren’t aware of it, we’re growing and getting stronger. The greater the loss, the greater potential for growth. The experience of loss helps us learn how to gain. As we heal, even if we’ve been broken into a million pieces, and it takes all the courage we have to find our way back, at each step we gain strength. If everything was easy all the time we would be shallow and weak. There would be no need to learn and grow, and no need for emotional strength. The blessings of trials are great. If we can remember we’re gaining when we’re trying to recover from loss it will give us the courage we need to keep going forward. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We just have to keep moving forward.

Today if you’ve suffered a painful loss, no matter what’s happened you will manage it. There is nothing so painful that it will overcome you. You are stronger than you know. Flex your muscles, take a breath and move forward. Tomorrow move forward some more. You’ll get through this. And you’ll be stronger on the other side.

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High Expectations

7 Apr

When we’re trying to do something new or we’re learning a new skill, sometimes we expect to be able to do it perfectly from the start. Even if we acknowledge intellectually that may not be possible, we may hope for it nonetheless. Sometimes our expectations for ourselves are unrealistically high. We think we should be able to do anything we want and do it well. Unfortunately, life doesn’t really work that way. We all do some things well, and some things not so well. But when we want to do something badly we may think we should be good at it from the beginning. Expecting perfection can lead to failure. If our expectations are too high and we fall short we may give up. And giving up gets us nowhere. Just learning and trying something new is enough to start. If we can learn to be more patient and more accepting with ourselves we’ll be happier and more comfortable as we move along.

The world sets high standards. Never in history have we been expected to do more than we are today. The ideals of perfection are everywhere we look. There are constant messages that our appearances, our lifestyles, our finances, and our personal lives should be flawless and accomplished without effort. Of course none of that is possible. If we internalize the messages we see virtually everywhere, we can feel we aren’t good enough, fast enough, strong enough, rich enough, or smart enough. There is no way to be perfect at everything despite the messages we hear. The truth is we will do some things very well, and some things will elude us. We can decide what our lives will look like and what we’ll do. No matter what we hear and see, we can determine how we’ll go forward and find satisfaction in knowing we’re doing things our way. We can set our expectations in ways that bring us success and happiness.

Some people do amazing things that change the world. But those are extreme and extraordinarily rare. We all have successes in our lives but they may not be on such a grand scale. That does not diminish the importance of the success. When we live purposefully, directing our lives on the paths we most want to follow and achieve our goals, we are successful. The goals we set don’t have to be monumental. No matter what they are, if we achieve them, we are successful. We don’t have to do extraordinary things to make the world a better place. Just by living well, being kind and supportive, showing compassion, and taking care of ourselves makes an impact for good. There isn’t anyone else like us anywhere on earth. We don’t have set impossible expectations or be perfect in the eyes of the world. We are perfect just as we are.

Today if you’ve been expecting a lot from yourself and have set your standards high, remember you are perfect just as you are. Your kindness and compassion are making the world a better place. We are all blessed because you’re here. You’re one of a kind and bring a light no one else can offer. Be who you are. It’ll be exactly right.

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What It’s Not

5 Apr

Change is an inevitable part of life.  Every day we face new things, learn new ways of managing them, and grow a little more.  We can learn by hearing about something but mostly we learn by doing.  If we don’t know how something is done and we have to figure it out, we can jump in and start.  But sometimes in the process we don’t figure things out by seeing what something is.  Sometimes it’s what it’s not that teaches us.  If our first impressions are incorrect we may not realize it until we’ve been in the situation for a while.  For example, we meet someone who is very brusque and seems to be wrapped up in their own world.  We might think they’re rude or arrogant, but then after interacting with them over time we discover they aren’t like that at all.  First impressions are important but they can be wrong.  It’s easy to believe we know the whole situation from the first moment, but that is rarely true.  We learn about things as we go, and sometimes what we thought was real wasn’t real at all.

We can only work with what we know at any given time.  Every day brings opportunities to learn and if we embrace them, we have a better shot of understanding how things really are.  There may be times when we want our world to look a certain way and don’t want to see the truth, and we look the other way.  We can pretend we are different than we really are, or that the situation isn’t the way it seems.  We can create our own little reality that has little truth in it.  If we do, we may be happy for the moment but true and lasting happiness will elude us.  Momentary bliss will never sustain us over time.  Truth has a way of surfacing and no matter how we try to hide from it, will find us in the end.  If we open our eyes and see things as they truly are we may be uncomfortable for a time but living truthfully is the only way to real and lasting happiness.

When we make judgments and later discover we were wrong we may feel disappointment or sorrow when we learn the truth.  If we were wrong about a personal relationship we care a lot about it may hurt deeply.  When people want something badly they sometimes pretend to be whatever it takes to get it.  If the other person was willing to do or say anything to bring us close, and we discover none of it was true it can be heartbreaking.  We could decide to ignore the truth and hope that in time our dreams will become real, but that may only postpone the inevitable.  It’s best to face the truth – whatever it is – as soon as we discover it.  Sometimes things aren’t what they seem.  Sometimes they are very different.  What they really are is what is real.  We can face whatever it is and we can still find happiness.  There isn’t a road too hard for us to travel.  We can face anything and we can find our way again.

Today if you see that things aren’t as you thought, you can turn your course.  The truth is there to show you the way.  There are endless roads in front of you, and you will choose the right one.  You know more now than you did before.  Use that going forward.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  You have everything you need to be happy.

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