How Long it Takes

15 Apr

When things go wrong or we suffer a painful loss, it’s sometimes hard to get over. We may grieve for a time, or suffer in other ways, and although we want it to go away, sometimes the healing process takes longer than we want it to. If it’s a serious loss, like a death of someone near us or a painful breakup, it may takes months or years to get through. Even devastating disappointments can take a lot of time for us to process and move forward. When we’ve been hurt badly, the damage can be all encompassing and even debilitating for a time. We might feel we can’t overcome it, and that we’ll never be right again. Grief and healing can’t be rushed. They have their own timetable and even if we think we should be over it, even if our friends and family tell us to get over it, we won’t get through until we’re done processing the loss. How long that takes is how long it takes. If we can’t accept what’s happened and hold on to denial we won’t heal until we can let go. But if we are determined to move forward, and do everything we can to face the change that has come into our lives, we will get through more quickly. There isn’t anything so difficult or painful we can’t manage. We just need to take it one step at a time and continue to take a step forward every day.

Devastating losses, no matter what they are, upset our lives. They impact us in every way. They may affect the way we feel about ourselves and others, or the hope we have for the future, and the trust we have that things will get better. If the pain is deep enough, even our personal faith may be shaken. We may question things we had previously believed were unshakable and find it hard to face another day. Human beings are incredibly resilient but we’re also incredibly fragile. If we suffer pain so great that we are rattled to the core, it will take time to put the pieces back together again. But our resilience is always there. It’s there even when we don’t feel it or can’t see it. It’s like invisible glue always ready to help us put things right again. It may take some time, and it will take determination, but we have everything we need to become whole and strong.

Suffering brings blessings. That can be hard to see when we’re struggling and everything hurts, but even when we aren’t aware of it, we’re growing and getting stronger. The greater the loss, the greater potential for growth. The experience of loss helps us learn how to gain. As we heal, even if we’ve been broken into a million pieces, and it takes all the courage we have to find our way back, at each step we gain strength. If everything was easy all the time we would be shallow and weak. There would be no need to learn and grow, and no need for emotional strength. The blessings of trials are great. If we can remember we’re gaining when we’re trying to recover from loss it will give us the courage we need to keep going forward. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We just have to keep moving forward.

Today if you’ve suffered a painful loss, no matter what’s happened you will manage it. There is nothing so painful that it will overcome you. You are stronger than you know. Flex your muscles, take a breath and move forward. Tomorrow move forward some more. You’ll get through this. And you’ll be stronger on the other side.

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