Archive | March, 2016

Outside Ourselves

14 Mar

Sometimes things go wrong, our life gets turned upside down, and we become stressed.  Maybe there’s too much going on we need to address, or the plans we made fell through and we’re struggling to find our way. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes the road gets rocky. We may feel overwhelmed, lost, scared, or exhausted as we try to navigate the situation, and the last thing we want is to face anything else. It may seem strange but the best thing to do at times like these is to reach outside ourselves and offer help to someone else. It’s virtually impossible to think about our problems when we’re doing something for others. We can’t be focused on what’s going wrong in our lives when we’re trying to help make something right for someone else. Taking the time to serve removes us from the things that are holding us down, and brings us comfort and peace. We can return to our issues later and they’ll still be there. But often if we take time out to serve, when we return to our problems they don’t seem quite so looming or difficult, and we find we can manage them a bit better.

It’s not possible to intensely ponder two situations at once. We can only carefully think about one at a time. If we’re stressed about something and turn our attention to someone else, they become our focus. It doesn’t matter what we do to serve, and there are limitless ways we can help out. For instance, imagine a friend needed food but had no way to get to the store and we offered to take them – it would be a great blessing. Personal service need not be extremely time consuming or difficult. We can do whatever is needed. And if we help, the other person isn’t the only one who benefits. We also receive blessings as we take a break from obsessing over our problems. It’s a win for both.

When we’re under water with an issue that’s concerning us, the last thing we want is more to do. We’re already busy and we have a lot on our minds. We may not think offering help to someone else will bring us respite, but that’s often what happens.  Serving others isn’t just another chore to accomplish. When we serve, we focus on something else, get closer to those around us, and build relationships. As we build friendships we learn more about ourselves. Those we help will trust us and feel our care. We all need each other. We’re connected to one another in ways we can’t always see.  When we’re wrapped up in our own lives we may forget that. Opening the door to service helps us remember. Nobody knows what the future will bring and life changes constantly. It’s possible that although we’re serving today, it may happen in the future that we’ll be the ones in need, and someone will help us.  It’s give and take each day of our lives.  The more we give, the more blessings we’ll take away.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with issues that are concerning and you feel stressed, look around and see where you can help someone else. Take a break from your pressures to serve. You’ll be amazed at how good you’ll feel and how refreshed you’ll be when you return. There isn’t anything you can’t handle. You have so much to offer. Offer it today.

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Directors

11 Mar

As we go through our lives we make millions of decisions. If those decisions don’t take us where we want to go, we may be unhappy. We may complain about our lot in life and think it’s unfair. We might say we should have gotten this or that, and we’re unhappy with our relationships, or family, or jobs.  We may say we never got the chance to do the things we wanted. However, we choose the direction of our lives and each choice we make takes us somewhere. If we aren’t going where we want to go we’re the only ones who can change it. We have the option to change anything at any time. If we’re unhappy we can change to find happiness. If we’re in a difficult relationship and feel uncomfortable, we can leave. If we’re unfulfilled in our jobs, we can find better ones. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, if we aren’t happy, we can chart a new course. There are a lot of reasons why we continue in situations that aren’t beneficial to us. If we’re unhappy and do nothing, we will continue to be unhappy.  But if we want to change, we can.  The choice is always ours. In the end, the choices we make give us the life we want most because it’s the life we’ve chosen.

Life can be complicated.  There’s a lot going on all the time.  Our relationships are important and we can get caught up in situations other people choose for us even if we don’t want them ourselves. We may feel we need to go along to keep the peace, or maybe it’s just easier. If we do that, we may end up living a life that isn’t genuinely ours but a reflection of what someone else thinks it should be. Our lives belong to us and every day is precious. What we do with our days is important. If we go along and make choices because we feel pressure or want to please someone else, we give away the chance to be ourselves. We are all unique and possess specific gifts for the world. If we keep those inside and only share what we’re told we should, or what’s expected, the world will miss the great blessings we have to offer. Nobody can give the world our gifts but us. We will always be at our best when we are uniquely and perfectly ourselves.

When movies are made, directors tell the actors what to do and how to do it in order for the desired message to be communicated. If we allow others to director our lives, we communicate the message they have to tell, not our own. But our messages are important and they are valuable. The way we see the world is different than anyone else. We don’t need a director to tell us what to do. We already know what we want to do. If we allow ourselves to make the choices we really want to make, we’ll be happy. We have all the courage we need to take control or our lives, and all the wisdom we need to find our way. In the end, we will surely end up with the lives we choose, good or bad. We make our own destiny. We can determine to make it happy, and uniquely ours. If we do, every day will bring us new promise, and our futures will bring us joy.

Today if you haven’t been living the life you really want, or if you dream of things being different, you can change. You can live your life any way you want to. You can do anything. You have everything you need to be happy and fulfilled. You know what you want. Point your eyes in the direction that will take you there. Choose your own path and determine your destiny. You have everything you need to get

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Intervention

10 Mar

We’ve all heard of interventions, and maybe seen them on television or witnessed them in real life. They are done in an effort to change or improve a situation with someone, and are sometimes used to help people who struggle with addictions, or who have trouble facing the truth about something. Often they are initiated by family members or other loved ones worried about someone close to them. One of the first things done in this situation is telling the complete truth about what is happening. Seeing everything as it is begins the process of change. Sometimes we may have times in our lives when we need to make a drastic change or face something very difficult. We don’t need to go through a formal intervention to face our situation and move forward. If we are ready and really want to turn our lives we can facilitate the change ourselves. All we have to do is decide it’s time to begin. We know what’s best for us, and we know when we’re on the wrong road. We know when we’re not being honest with ourselves, and we know what we need to do. Once we decide to change, the process of turning can begin. It doesn’t matter how we do it or how long it takes. What’s important is that we’re ready to start.

Most of us are honest with those around us. We try to be fair, wait our turn in line, pay our bills on time, and want to be nice. But sometimes we aren’t as kind and honest with ourselves. We expect more from ourselves than we would ever expect from others. We can be critical when we aren’t perfect, or feel shame when we don’t think we measure up. These kinds of personal judgments can prevent us from moving forward. We may even feel if we don’t do everything exactly right nobody will love us. We would never put those kinds of requirements on others. We allow for their mistakes, we don’t expect perfection, and we still care about them. But sometimes we have a double standard when it comes to expectations for ourselves. It’s important to remember that we are perfect just like we are now. We don’t have to be the best, the fastest, the tallest, the smartest, or the most successful to be loved. We have unique gifts and talents that nobody else possesses, and we already have a lot to offer. We are lovable just as we are.

Being honest with ourselves isn’t always easy. If we want to really know who we are, we have to be willing to open all the secret doors we’ve kept shut, and pull the curtains away letting all the light shine through. We need to look at what we’re actually doing and decide if it’s what we really want. If it isn’t, we can make decisions that will put us on the road that will take us where we want to go. There isn’t anything we can’t change. But first we have to be willing to see things as they are. We can’t hide behind our families, our jobs, our money, our reputations, or anything else. We can have our own personal intervention, face our reality as it exists, and then decide how to go forward. We can have any kind of life we want but we won’t achieve anything we’re looking for if we look away from where we are. We can face our lives, decide what we want to change, and move forward.

Today if you feel you aren’t where you want to be, and you aren’t sure how to move forward, stop and take a good look at your life. See everything as it is, and decide where you want to go from here. There isn’t anything you can’t do. The road is already there waiting for you. Take the first step on the journey today. There is sunshine just ahead. You have everything you need to reach it.

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Real Life

9 Mar

We live in a real world and it’s not difficult to see and navigate the material things around us.  But we also live in a world with other people we interact with on a daily basis.  They make decisions about what they will do and say to us.  Sometimes they talk to us in truth and other times may say something entirely different.  If we are honest it may be hard to believe that those near us could tell us things that aren’t true.  We all want truth in our lives, but sometimes we may believe in fiction.  It could be a lie that someone we love is telling us because they don’t want to hurt us with the truth, or want us to believe it in order to get something from us.  Maybe we pretend that something is real that isn’t, because facing it as it is, is hard and painful.  Deception and lies, pretending and looking the other way complicate us and make even simple decisions difficult.  We deserve to be happy and live as peacefully as possible.  That can only happen if we’re willing to see and accept things as they really are.  Truth is truth and will always surface.  There is no way to hide from it forever and the best we can do is face it.

If we want we can live our entire lives in the land of fiction, making up stories about what we’re doing, and what’s happening.  We can believe in people that lie to us even when we have the truth staring us in the face.  We might tell ourselves it’s better not to rock the boat and face the truth, but that just prolongs the inevitable.  The problem with fiction is it can’t stand up over time.  There is no way to live a lie forever.  Running from the truth, hiding from it, dodging it, ignoring it, or in any way trying to avoid it, is exhausting.  No matter how difficult it is to face, it’s easier in the end than living a life on the run.  Pretending is just another word for acting, and if we’re acting out our lives instead of really living them, we can’t be who we really are.  It’s best to accept things truthfully, face them head on, and shake away the clouds of deception.  Only then can we live our lives honestly and with clarity.

Sometimes we believe a lie because we really want the story to be true.  If we love someone and they continually tell us things we want to hear, we may go along even if we know it isn’t real.  Personal desires can be very strong and we may believe the story will eventually come true.  But we can’t read the future, and all we can really count on is what is real today.  They say the best predictor of the future is the past, and that’s often true.  If someone has lied to us in the past there’s a good chance they will continue to follow the same path.  Of course, people can change and turn things around, but putting our lives on hold and pretending will not make that happen.  We can only control our own decisions, and choose to move forward with our own lives.  We deserve to make all our dreams come true.  We can do that if we live in the real world and not the land of fiction.

Today if you’ve been hoping for something to be true that hasn’t happened, remember you are worth the best of everything.  You deserve everything you are seeking.  Choose to move forward.  You are in control of your happiness.  Facing truth will help you find it.  You can make all your dreams come true by living in the real world and you have the courage and wisdom to do that.

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The Straw

8 Mar

Most of us are pretty resilient. We can endure challenges as they come along and find our way through. We figure out how to go forward when things get hard, and we know what we want to do. Sometimes we get into situations where those around us make us feel uncomfortable. Maybe someone continually insults us or criticizes us, or someone close to us lets us down again and again. We can put up with those things for a time, but eventually we will get to a breaking point. We finally get to that straw, the final straw that breaks the camel’s back. We all have limits, and limits by their very definition have end points. We can endure something for a time, look the other way, and take it, but at some point we will have had enough. When that happens we have to change the situation. Sometimes because we’ve let bad feelings or resentment fester, when we get to the point of no return we may lash out and say things we regret later and make the situation worse. If we can be proactive and change things before that happens we’ll be more successful in changing things. We are all entitled to speak up and state what we don’t want. If we wait, endure in silence, and get pushed too far, we may find ourselves acting in ways that don’t reflect the standards we want to keep.

Some people are rude. Some people are mean, and some people don’t care if they hurt others. We all get to choose what kind of person we want to be and for some those choices are hurtful or demeaning. We’ve all known, or had to interact with, someone who was unkind or abrasive. Every situation is different and if our dealings with them are limited we may choose to endure it and say nothing. But if we must interact with them over a period of time and each time we’re uncomfortable, we can speak up. We don’t have to be rude or unkind. We can patiently and clearly say what is offensive to us and ask them to stop doing it. That may be uncomfortable at first, but often once we’ve stated our feelings, the other person will change their behavior when they are with us. Even if they don’t change, we will have more confidence going forward because we’ve expressed our needs and know they are aware of the situation.

If we wait until the last straw when we can’t stand one more moment of the situation, we may give up our ability to control how we handle it. It’s harder to control our behavior when we’re furious or angry than it is when we’re calm and in control. If we say something the first time we’re offended, we have a better chance of being in control of the situation instead of allowing it to be in control of us. We are entitled to feel comfortable in our dealings with others and we deserve to be treated with respect. If that’s not happening we can politely express our dissatisfaction the first time we feel it. If we clearly state our boundaries and say how we feel we may turn a turbulent relationship around. If we say nothing, our only option is to suffer in silence, which gets us nowhere.

Today if you’ve been insulted or hurt by something someone did or said, talk to them. Tell them how you feel. Just speaking up will empower you. You deserve only the best of everything. When you speak up you have the best chance of getting that. You have so much to offer. Ask for the respect you deserve. You’ll feel better and your confidence will rise.

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