What now?

22 Jun

Sudden, and difficult changes can come into our lives unexpectedly. They are never easy to face, but sometimes it’s the way things go. I have a professional friend who had a lucrative position contracting with a large corporation, and did very well. He was successful, and happy, and looked forward to a long, and prosperous career. His boss got a big promotion, and told him it was partially due to the great work he had done. But when his boss left, and the new leader came in from another agency, she brought her own team in with her. As a contractor, my friend was not an employee of the company, and with the change in leadership, his position was no longer available. He was without a job. Though always a possibility, because he was so good at his work, he never dreamed this would happen. He was devastated, and concerned about what would happen next. Everything had suddenly changed.

When these things come, they are hard to process. Initially we may be in shock, and then we may be angry. But eventually, we have to face the situation, and figure out how to go forward. If a job is involved, time may be critical. In other situations we may have more time. Either way, we still have to face the enormous change that has come to us. We may feel lost at first, and ask, “What now?”

A drastic change in our lives can be very hard to face, very difficult to manage, and emotionally devastating. But if we look at the situation objectively, it’s really just a change in direction. The path we were on has turned, and we feel unsure because we’re on unfamiliar territory. It’s hard to find our footing when we don’t know the road. It’s hard to know where we’re going when all the landmarks have changed. But if we keep our sights set on the way forward, we can find our way. This is just an alternate route. We have enough courage to handle that, and we can figure it out. There isn’t only one way to live our lives. There are countless roads we can take. If we’re in a position of sudden change, it just means it’s time to choose another road. We just need to turn a little, and go forward a different way.

Today if you’re facing a big change, an unexpected roadblock, try not to be overwhelmed. It’s just a change in direction. You can change directions. You’ve probably done it before, and although it will feel uncomfortable for a while, you will find your way. You have everything you need to figure this out. You will navigate it step by step. Big changes are unsettling, but you can handle them. You are strong, and you are capable. Take a deep breath. Choose something new. Be fearless. The destination is still ahead. This is just a turn in the road.

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All in the Doing

21 Jun

There are times in everyone’s life when things don’t go quite the way we’d like. Sometimes our relationships have contention, sometimes our plans don’t work out, and sometimes we feel bad. We don’t feel happy. We may be depressed, and somewhat sad. Although it may not be a serious situation, it is nevertheless impacting our lives. We may feel lethargic, and don’t want to do anything. We can find ourselves sitting in front of the TV for hours, not paying attention, or sleeping far more than usual. We may not want to see our friends. We may just want to stay home, and hide until we feel better.

Sometimes when we’re in these situations we welcome advice. Other times we just don’t want to hear it. We don’t care. We’re miserable, and we just want to be left alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone, and trying to figure things out on our own, but we have to be careful that we don’t isolate ourselves for too long. This is not a pattern we want to become permanent. So how can we help ourselves? How can we get out of this funk? How can we shake things loose, and be happy again?

One of the best things we can do when we’re feeling this way is to move. Just move. Take a short walk outside. Walk to a neighborhood café for a snack. Clean out a closet, pull weeds, wash the car, bake a cake, or turn up some music and dance. Any activity that gets us off the couch, or out of bed will help. There is something about movement that makes us feel better. If we can make ourselves do something, anything that gets us in motion, we will feel better. We will feel lighter, and it will help.

Today if you’re feeling low, if you’re down and don’t want to do anything, let that be your cue to do something. You are perfectly capable of managing this. You can do anything. And today you will do something to move forward, and shake it off. This is just a small bump. It’s going to pass, and while you’re going over it, do something that will lift your spirits and help. You can dance your way right on through this. And you can’t feel bad when you’re dancing!

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Asking For It

20 Jun

A friend of mine goes to dinner every month with several other friends. They enjoy their time together, and have known each other for many years. Their lives are busy, and their monthly dinner is the time they all look forward to catching up with each other, and renewing their friendships.

At these dinners, it’s been customary to have all the orders placed on one check, and then the total divided up evenly between them at the end of the meal. My friend has been uncomfortable with this arrangement because several people order drinks that are very expensive, and a few always order the most costly entrée on the menu. Since her tastes are minimal, and she always orders a salad, it’s been hard for her to justify the enormous expense when the bill is divided up with lobster entrees, several glasses of wine, and cocktails. But she hadn’t said anything for fear of alienating her friends.

That all changed when she joined them this last week. When they were ordering their meals at last week’s gathering, she asked the waiter to please put her order on a separate check. She was nervous about what reaction she would get but as soon as she said it, a few others in the group also asked for separate checks. She was surprised by that, but happy she had chosen what was best for her. The dinner went smoothly, and at the end the checks were given to everyone who asked for one. Nobody seemed concerned about the change in the pattern, and everything was fine. My friend wished she had said something earlier because she could have taken care of this before it became a burden for her. If she had asked for the change when it first began to bother her, she would have been more comfortable.

It is sometimes the case in our lives when something is bothering us that we don’t speak up. There are a lot of reasons why we might stay quiet, but if it’s bothering us, it’s definitely worth talking about. We can direct our lives any way we want to, and in most circumstances, we don’t have to do things the way others expect us to. We can ask for, and get a different scenario. But we won’t get anything we want unless we ask for it. All we have to do is ask. It’s a simple thing, and we are capable of it at any time. We just have to decide when it’s important to us.

Today if you’re going along with something you don’t appreciate, you may ask for a change. You may ask for what you want. You don’t have to say you’re unhappy, you don’t have to say the situation is wrong, you can just ask for what you want. If you do that, odds are better that you’ll get it. If you don’t ask, nothing will change, so you’ve got nothing to lose. Ask for what you want. You are entitled to do things your way. Today, define what that is, and ask for it. You’ll be much happier being in control of your decisions. After all, the choice is yours. Make it the one you want.

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Your Best

19 Jun

Most of us try to do things well, to be kind, and live a good life. It isn’t always easy to make good choices but if we are wise, we try to make decisions fairly, and hope they are right. Choosing well brings us happiness. We know this but sometimes we may tire of trying, and decide it isn’t worth the effort. We may decide to let others choose, and just go along. We may take the easier road.

If we want to, we can live mediocre lives. We can give a little, take a little, help when it’s convenient, and serve when we must. We can skate by, and do just enough to look good. Mediocrity is easy. It takes very little effort to achieve. We can keep a low profile when help is needed so we won’t have to say no, and we won’t have to offer either. We can be average in our endeavors, and be nice enough to be accepted without having to excel. We can be lazy, and indifferent.

But mediocrity is selling out. When we don’t do our best, when we don’t try our hardest, we are just selling out. We will never know what we are capable of if we don’t push the envelope. We will never know what we could achieve. There is greatness in all of us – some realized, some dormant, but it’s there. We can’t know where our greatness lies if we don’t push ourselves to find it. We each have a gift to offer the world – something that is unique to us, that nobody else can give. If we recognize that, search for it, seek it out, and then offer it, the world will be magnified because of it. If we try, really try to be our best, and do our best, we will find it. And sharing it with others is the greatest we can offer.

Today if you’ve been keeping a low profile, doing just enough to get by, think again. There is something wonderful, and special about you. Find it. Uncover what it is, and determine to share it with others. You are here for a purpose. You have something to give. Find your best self. Open your eyes to it, open your heart to it, and offer it to the world. We all need each other. Give your best. The world will be brighter for it.

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Just Today

18 Jun

From time to time we all worry about things. Perhaps there’s been something on your mind, and it just won’t leave you alone. You can’t help it. You think about it constantly. You worry about what’s coming. You worry about what will happen tomorrow. We all have concerns sometimes, and they can make us worry – sometimes for good reason, sometimes unnecessarily. Whether the reason is good or not, worrying about what might happen doesn’t change anything. All it does is take us out of the present. We can’t fully live the day we’re in if we’re worrying about a day to come.

Each day we have on earth is a blessing. We take them for granted, and sometimes just go through the motions, but each day is a blessing. We often realize what an enormous blessing they are when they are suddenly threatened. Something happens where we understand we might not have tomorrow. We may get sick, a friend may die, or there may be a disaster that wakes us up, and makes us realize how lucky we are to have today. Today is the only day we can live. We can’t live tomorrow yet – it hasn’t arrived. Yesterday is gone, and nothing can be done to take us back to it. So we have just this one day. And if we spend it worrying about what tomorrow will bring, we will have wasted it.

We are powerful, and capable beings. We can do a lot when we want to. But most of us cannot read the future. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or even five minutes from now. We are living now – not later. What will come to us after this is out of our control. So how can we manage something that is worrisome? A good way to let the worry go is to do something about what’s going on in our lives today. There is something we can take care of today, there is something we can work on today, and there is something we can manage today. While we’re working on today, we won’t have time to worry about tomorrow. We are managing our lives as they roll forward. Tomorrow will get here when it gets here. What comes will come. And whatever it is, we will face it then.

If you’re worried, and having trouble letting it go, do something that is important today. Work hard. Get busy living today. You’ll get things done, your mind will be focused on something productive, and you will forget to worry. Tomorrow you will handle whatever comes. You are perfectly capable of handling it – tomorrow. Today is all that concerns you now. One day at a time is all we have. Live your life that way. Live today. It’s a great day to be alive.

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