Tag Archives: Ask

Knock Knock

4 Dec

There are a lot of things to learn and do in this life.  As we accomplish one, we’re ready to move on to the next.  Sometimes we take classes, sometimes we travel, sometimes we read, and sometimes we rely on others to teach us something new.  As we interact with all the people who come in and out of our lives, everyone knows something they can share with us.  When we meet those with the skills we’re looking for, it’s an opportunity to ask questions, and seek information.  But sometimes out of uncertainty, or because we aren’t sure how it will be received, we fail to engage the other person on the subject to discover what they can share.  Opportunity may come knocking, but if we don’t open the door our chance may be lost.

We don’t want to impose on others or their time, and sometimes even when we really want to talk about something, we aren’t confident asking.  Most people are happy to share what they know, and if they can’t do it when we ask, they are often willing to meet with us later.  It’s up to us to open the door and begin the conversation even when we don’t know what will come of it.  They might not be interested in sharing, or they may take a lot of time guiding us, and showing us what we want to know.  But we’ll never find out unless we forge ahead and ask.  We must be confident enough to take the first step.  They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and that’s true.  If we never put our foot forward, we’ll never get where we want to go.

Opportunities may come to us in unexpected ways, and in unexpected places.  We may have a passing conversation with someone who mentions something we’re interested in.  If we ask about it, even if they aren’t the ones to guide us, they may know someone who can share with us.  Or we might see someone doing something that relates to what we want to learn, and we can approach them for information.  For instance, if we’re interested in learning how to paint landscapes and we see someone taking photographs of them, we might strike up a conversation and ask if they know anyone who paints them.  It’s surprising how many contacts we already have and often referrals we need may come just by speaking up.  We can do anything we want to do, and if we pay attention, we can find someone to teach us how.

Today if you’ve wanted to learn something but haven’t done anything to move forward, start the conversation.  Talk to your friends and associates and share your ideas.  Be confident asking if they know about the topic or can refer you to someone who does.  You may be surprised at how helpful others are, and you may find exactly what you’re looking for.  Take the first step on the journey today.  Before you know it you’ll be well on the road to learning exactly what you want, and your life will be fuller and richer because you reached out.

Asking For It

20 Jun

A friend of mine goes to dinner every month with several other friends. They enjoy their time together, and have known each other for many years. Their lives are busy, and their monthly dinner is the time they all look forward to catching up with each other, and renewing their friendships.

At these dinners, it’s been customary to have all the orders placed on one check, and then the total divided up evenly between them at the end of the meal. My friend has been uncomfortable with this arrangement because several people order drinks that are very expensive, and a few always order the most costly entrée on the menu. Since her tastes are minimal, and she always orders a salad, it’s been hard for her to justify the enormous expense when the bill is divided up with lobster entrees, several glasses of wine, and cocktails. But she hadn’t said anything for fear of alienating her friends.

That all changed when she joined them this last week. When they were ordering their meals at last week’s gathering, she asked the waiter to please put her order on a separate check. She was nervous about what reaction she would get but as soon as she said it, a few others in the group also asked for separate checks. She was surprised by that, but happy she had chosen what was best for her. The dinner went smoothly, and at the end the checks were given to everyone who asked for one. Nobody seemed concerned about the change in the pattern, and everything was fine. My friend wished she had said something earlier because she could have taken care of this before it became a burden for her. If she had asked for the change when it first began to bother her, she would have been more comfortable.

It is sometimes the case in our lives when something is bothering us that we don’t speak up. There are a lot of reasons why we might stay quiet, but if it’s bothering us, it’s definitely worth talking about. We can direct our lives any way we want to, and in most circumstances, we don’t have to do things the way others expect us to. We can ask for, and get a different scenario. But we won’t get anything we want unless we ask for it. All we have to do is ask. It’s a simple thing, and we are capable of it at any time. We just have to decide when it’s important to us.

Today if you’re going along with something you don’t appreciate, you may ask for a change. You may ask for what you want. You don’t have to say you’re unhappy, you don’t have to say the situation is wrong, you can just ask for what you want. If you do that, odds are better that you’ll get it. If you don’t ask, nothing will change, so you’ve got nothing to lose. Ask for what you want. You are entitled to do things your way. Today, define what that is, and ask for it. You’ll be much happier being in control of your decisions. After all, the choice is yours. Make it the one you want.