Doing Well

29 Jul

As we go through our lives there are countless things to do.  We have responsibilities to our families, our jobs, ourselves, our homes, our cars, and the list is endless.  There is always something to do.  We have tasks, and chores, and details that seemingly never end.  We’re busy much of the time, and when there is a lot to do we may try to finish quickly by cutting corners.  We might try to do the minimum required to get the job done so we can move on.  Sometimes that works and we get by, but other times it ends up causing us more issues to fix later.  We can rush, and we can cut all the corners we want, but in the end if we haven’t done the best we could do, it may come back to bite us.

There is a saying, “Any job worth doing is worth doing well.”  There is great truth in that.  If we apply ourselves to our tasks and do them as well as we can, we will be happy with our performance, and we can move on with confidence.  There is little gratification found in rushing, and trying to just patch things through.  When we look back at a task we’ve done poorly because we tried to do it as quickly as possible, there is no sense of accomplishment.  However, there is great value in doing our tasks well.  And when we do them well, we know we’ve done our best.

In order to do our best, we need to focus.  Recent studies show that there really is no such thing as multi-tasking.  It turns out we can really only focus our attention on one thing at a time.  So if we want to do our tasks well, we need to zone in on one at a time, and make it a priority.  It may be something small, some errand we have to run or some menial chore that needs addressing, or it might be something really important.  Whatever it is, if we put our complete focus on it, and don’t try to do three other things at the same time, we will be happier with the result.  And in the end, a job done well done may prevent additional complications later.  And nobody needs more complications.

Today if you have a lot to do, and you’re rushing around trying to complete everything, try to focus on one task at a time.  You’ll get things done more effectively and because you have eliminated all the distractions, you’ll get them done more quickly.  Do one thing, and then move on to the next.  Before you know it you’ll have completed everything, and looking back you’ll be happy with what you’ve done.  Remember, “Any job worth doing is worth doing well.”  You can do everything well.  And when you do, you’ll be happy with the result.

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All or Nothing

28 Jul

Most of the things we do in our lives require flexibility. Generally there isn’t much that is written in stone, and we compromise a lot. Despite that, we can get stuck in an “all or nothing” mentality. We can get lost in trying to make things exactly like we want them before we commit, and move forward. There are some things that draw a hard line. For instance we may not allow someone to be hurt physically, we may require fidelity in our intimate relationships, or there may be some personal requirements we must have. But mostly, we need to compromise. Most things won’t be exactly the way we’d like them. There will be some give and take. A pattern of requiring perfection in our ideas, or needing things precisely the way we think they should be before we act can work against us.

Living with an “all or nothing” attitude can prevent us from participating, and keep us from fun and valuable experiences. If we decide to wait on every decision until things are lined up our way, the opportunity to participate may pass. Rarely will the timing for everything be perfect, the plans exactly as we want them, or the situation ideal in every way. If we wait for those things to happen before we move forward, we may find ourselves stuck.

This attitude affects our personal relationships, as well as our routine activities. No relationship is without disharmony from time to time. People disagree and agree, they argue and they get along, and there is tension occasionally. If we decide a relationship has to be completely perfect or we won’t have it, we will, in all probability, find ourselves alone. People don’t operate that way. Life doesn’t work that way. Perfection is, in most situations, unattainable.  It’s great to have a goal to be the best we can be, but the expectation of everything going without a curve or bump is unrealistic. And it’s self-defeating. Life is a wonderful gift. And the real perfection comes when we realize how wonderful it is – warts and all.

Today if you’ve been struggling with trying to make things absolutely perfect before you go forward, think about it from another perspective. If everything were perfect all the time there would be no reason to grow. We would have no reason to learn. Accept the bumps as they come along. Navigate them, and go right over them. You are capable of handling any complication that comes your way. No matter how things go, you’ll figure them out. Don’t wait for perfection. You don’t need it to move forward.

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Changing Channels

27 Jul

Studies of the brain show that it takes very little energy for us to change our minds.  In fact, it’s miniscule.  It takes virtually no physical effort to do it, but the emotional or mental effort is another story.  When we’re in a situation we don’t like, when we’re uncomfortable and want to change, it seems like a simple solution – just change it.  But when others are involved, and there are feelings to consider, the solution becomes complicated.  If we want to change a situation or a relationship we’ve had for a while, we want to do it well.  Often no matter how we try to make that happen someone gets hurt, and it doesn’t go as smoothly as we may have hoped.

We are in charge of our lives and we get to decide what we do and don’t do.  If we need or want a change, we are entitled to it.  But usually just waiting for the change to happen doesn’t work.  We have to initiate it.  We have to do whatever is needed to facilitate it, and make it happen.  If others are involved, that may mean a difficult conversation that we may dread.  But we deserve the life we want the most.  We deserve to be on the path that’s best for us, even if it means leaving others behind.  If we take some time to plan, we can do our best to make the change as easy as possible for all concerned.

Sometimes the changes we want to make don’t involve other people, but situations in our lives that aren’t working.  We may want to move to another location because we aren’t happy where we are.  Or change careers to something more fulfilling.  Or we may want to get more involved in some activity we’ve been putting off.  It doesn’t matter what change we are seeking, they all require action.  If we want to change our lives we can do it.  We can change anything we really want to.  We just have to decide when we’re ready, and move forward.  Once we’ve determined to go forward differently, once we’ve had the conversations and made the plans, we can start again.  We can create a new situation where we’re happier.  Change is rarely comfortable, and sometimes not as easy as we’d like, but we can manage it.  We deserve whatever we need to be happy.

Today if you’ve been struggling with wanting a change in your life, whatever it is, begin now to do what is needed to make it happen.  Be confident.  You are in charge of your life, and you can determine what makes you happiest.  Today take the first step to turn things around.  Your life is precious and you deserve to have it your way.  It’s exciting to change things up.  It’s all there for you.  Don’t wait another minute to get to it.

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Sucker Punch

26 Jul

Sometimes we get an unexpected surprise that knocks us off our feet. A “sucker punch” shakes us and suddenly everything is different. It can happen with a job – you go to work one day, and out of the blue you’re fired, let go, or laid off. Maybe there were unforeseen changes in the corporate structure, maybe your boss just decided to down size, or a thousand other reasons, and suddenly you’re out of a job. Or it can happen in our personal lives – we might see the person we’ve been involved with out with someone else in an intimate situation, and suddenly our world turns on its axis. It can happen anywhere, at any time. It’s always unexpected, and usually upsetting. We can’t predict the future, and even at times in our lives when we think things are going fine, everything can change in an instant.

These events tend to take our breath away. Since we don’t see them coming, there is no way to prepare for them. We can be caught in disbelief, we can be lost trying to figure out what just happened, and it takes time to process the change. When we’re shaken, it’s hard to think, hard to figure things out, and hard to look ahead. We need some time to let the change sink in, and how much time that takes depends on us, and the circumstances. Once we realize this is for real, and get over the shock, we have to reorder our lives, and re-position our direction. It’s not easy to adjust to sudden change, but in time, we’ll begin to start figuring things out again.

Changes in our lives are normal. Abrupt changes in our lives are difficult but we can handle them. Instead of a gradual turn on our path, facing a complete stop is hard. It’s not a permanent stop but it takes time to readjust, and get our footing again before we can go forward. When we’re ready, if we take it one step at a time, we’ll find our way in a new direction, and be able to move on. Our confidence will return, our heads will clear, the shock will wear off, and we’ll be ready to start again.

Today if you’ve been stunned or shocked by a sudden change in your life, hold on. Stand still for a while and catch your breath. There is nothing you can’t handle. Even if this hurts badly, you will get through it. Although the clouds may be dark now, there is sunshine ahead. You will laugh again. You just need some time to find a different direction. Take the time you need. When you’re ready your new path will be waiting for you. Look forward. There are wonderful and exciting times just ahead.

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It’s Already There

25 Jul

We’ve all read or heard stories about people who were facing extraordinary situations where they had to do amazing things to escape danger, or survive. We hear about heroism that has no limit, strength that defies the odds, and unbelievable endurance. Somehow in these extreme instances, those involved found within them the ability to overcome each situation and not only survive, but conquer. Sometimes we wonder how they were able to do it. Where did they find the courage? How did they manage it?

We may think we could never face situations like these. We may believe we don’t have what it takes, we aren’t strong enough, or we aren’t brave enough. But actually, when extreme situations arise, we can all find within ourselves attributes we may never have known we possessed. We will find a way to survive despite the obstacles, and we can pull from deep within us the willingness to keep going. It’s already there inside us. We just have to reach down, and get it.

At some point in all of our lives, we will be in situations where we will have to do more than we think we can. We will have to push harder than we believe is possible, and we will have to endure serious complications. Everyone will get the chance to prove their mettle. If we haven’t faced it yet, it is sure to come. And when whatever it is comes to us, even though at first we may feel we cannot possibly endure it, we will. We are far stronger than we realize, and we can do far more than we think we can. Everything we need for everything we face in this life is already inside us. We don’t have to study up, we don’t have to try to create it, and we don’t have to worry. We can handle whatever will come. We already have all we need.

Today if you’re facing a hard situation, something you don’t think you can handle, you can do it. You can manage it, no matter what it is, even if it’s really hard. You have all you need to get through it inside you. Rely on that. Trust in it, and take things one step at a time. You’ll overcome whatever this is, and you’ll be stronger when it’s over. Keep walking. You will succeed. This trial will end, and you’ll go forward with more confidence and clarity. Dig deep. What you need is already there. You can do this.

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