Tag Archives: Happy

Easy Questions Hard Answers

18 Dec

When we’re making decisions about our lives, deciding where we want to go, and what we want to do, we have to answer a lot of questions. Some are quick, and we know the answers before we even think about them but others, although they look easy at first, can be hard to answer. Questions can be deceptive. Something simple like, “What do you want to do now?” seems easy on the surface, but when the answers we choose have far reaching consequences, they can be hard to resolve. We spend so much time doing what others expect from us, what we think we should be doing, and what is required to make things work that when it comes to questions about our personal choices they can be harder to answer than they seem at first. What do we want to do now? Where do we want to go? What do we want to accomplish? How can we make it happen? These all seem like easy questions, but the answers can be elusive.

It seems we sometimes forget who we really are and what we really want. We’re busy, and trying hard to get things done, we have a lot of responsibilities, and at the end of the day we may feel like we’ve been lost in the shuffle. But if we want to be happy, really happy with our lives, and stand on the road we most want to be on, we need to think about what we really want. Do we want to spend time doing the same thing tomorrow we did today? Are we doing what’s most important to us? Are we happy? Do we feel fulfilled with how we’re spending our days? All are important questions. If our lives are too busy, we may not take time to look at them and find the answers. We need to remember what we truly want, and who we really are. Our lives belong to us and we can live them any way we want to.

Sometimes we can tangled up in situations that take us off course. Maybe we commit to a relationship that isn’t working, or we keep a job we hate, or we continue to do something that makes us miserable because others expect it. When that happens, it takes determination and courage to step away and do what is needed to turn things around. But we have sufficient determination and courage to do it. We have everything we need to change our course, and we are the only ones who can make it happen. We don’t have to convince anyone we need to change, we don’t have to come up with a dozen reasons why what we’ve been doing isn’t working, and we don’t have to feel any guilt. If we need to change, we can change. We are in control of our time and our futures. We can have the lives we want most, be the person we want to be, and live happily. The moment we decide is the perfect time to start.

Today if you’ve been doing things that aren’t working and you aren’t happy, think about what you want the most. Remember who you really are and then make the changes necessary to bring happiness into your life. Every day is a precious gift. Your gift is today. Make it work for you. Make it the way you want it to be. You deserve everything you want. Reach for it, and make it yours.

Bitter or Better

23 Sep

Hard times come to us all. Sometimes we face heartbreak, sadness, and serious disappointment.   We may let the pain of these events go quickly and move on, but sometimes if the hurt is very deep, we may hold onto them for a while. It’s hard to move through a difficult time if we can’t let go of the pain, but sometimes we get stuck holding onto it. If someone has hurt us deeply, or betrayed us greatly, we may hold onto it for years, or for the rest of our lives. Perhaps someone you know has let something affect their lives so deeply they are no longer happy. Maybe it’s changed the whole dynamic of their lives. They are bitter and cannot move on.

Trials aren’t something we want to face. We don’t look for them, and we hope they won’t come our way, but they come to all of us. If we choose to, we can try to learn as much as possible from the experience, and then let it go so we can move on. If we do that, we may restore our happiness, and turn “bitter” into “better.” But since most of our painful experiences involve others, it generally means we have to forgive someone. If we’ve been hurt deeply, that may be difficult. But bitterness will destroy our lives if we let it fester. If we want to move forward, we must do everything required – including forgive.

There are people in this life who don’t care if they hurt others as long as they get what they want. It’s very difficult to be in relationships with them, and if we are, we will probably get hurt. They can only see themselves. They often talk a good line, tell others how much they care, and even pretend to be supportive, but in the end they only serve themselves. It’s doubtful they will feel shame or remorse. They are only concerned with what they want and what they need. If we have someone like that in our lives and they hurt us, we may try to explain our pain to them, and try to make them change. But we can’t change others no matter how hard we try. We can only change ourselves. We have to move forward from where we are. We have the power to let things go, to move on, and become stronger, and more resilient because of our experiences. We have the power to control our lives and make them happy.

Today if you’re dealing with pain from something that’s happened, do everything you can to make things right, and then let it go. Your life is too valuable to waste on unhappiness. You are in control of yourself and you can be happy. You are strong, and perfectly capable of managing this. You’ve been through trials before and survived. You can do anything you want. Do what you must to move through this, and begin again.

Changing Channels

27 Jul

Studies of the brain show that it takes very little energy for us to change our minds.  In fact, it’s miniscule.  It takes virtually no physical effort to do it, but the emotional or mental effort is another story.  When we’re in a situation we don’t like, when we’re uncomfortable and want to change, it seems like a simple solution – just change it.  But when others are involved, and there are feelings to consider, the solution becomes complicated.  If we want to change a situation or a relationship we’ve had for a while, we want to do it well.  Often no matter how we try to make that happen someone gets hurt, and it doesn’t go as smoothly as we may have hoped.

We are in charge of our lives and we get to decide what we do and don’t do.  If we need or want a change, we are entitled to it.  But usually just waiting for the change to happen doesn’t work.  We have to initiate it.  We have to do whatever is needed to facilitate it, and make it happen.  If others are involved, that may mean a difficult conversation that we may dread.  But we deserve the life we want the most.  We deserve to be on the path that’s best for us, even if it means leaving others behind.  If we take some time to plan, we can do our best to make the change as easy as possible for all concerned.

Sometimes the changes we want to make don’t involve other people, but situations in our lives that aren’t working.  We may want to move to another location because we aren’t happy where we are.  Or change careers to something more fulfilling.  Or we may want to get more involved in some activity we’ve been putting off.  It doesn’t matter what change we are seeking, they all require action.  If we want to change our lives we can do it.  We can change anything we really want to.  We just have to decide when we’re ready, and move forward.  Once we’ve determined to go forward differently, once we’ve had the conversations and made the plans, we can start again.  We can create a new situation where we’re happier.  Change is rarely comfortable, and sometimes not as easy as we’d like, but we can manage it.  We deserve whatever we need to be happy.

Today if you’ve been struggling with wanting a change in your life, whatever it is, begin now to do what is needed to make it happen.  Be confident.  You are in charge of your life, and you can determine what makes you happiest.  Today take the first step to turn things around.  Your life is precious and you deserve to have it your way.  It’s exciting to change things up.  It’s all there for you.  Don’t wait another minute to get to it.