Deflecting

12 Sep

Things go wrong in our lives and sometimes we get upset. We may be angry about some development or problem that has arisen and struggling to figure it out. When we’re going through the disappointment, and processing the problem, we can get confused when other complications arise. We may be overwhelmed, and frustrated, and feel bad. At that point, if someone comes to us over something small, we might forget our place, lose our temper, and blast them fervently. We displace the anger we’re feeling over the problem we’re facing, and dump it all over an innocent bystander. We’ve all done it and it’s embarrassing, and uncomfortable. We feel bad for making them a target, and need to apologize. It happens when we let our troubles, and not the solutions, become the focus. If all we can see is the problem we may feel there is no hope for success.

Everyone has problems and complications. It’s the nature of life. We go through them on a daily basis. Some are small and need little effort to navigate, and some are all encompassing, and heavy. When we’re going through a difficult time, it’s easy to lose our focus and forget that it’s not the end of the world, nor is it something we can’t face. The road through some issues is long, and arduous, and sometimes we get tired and afraid we may not be able to get through it. But there is nothing we will face that we cannot overcome. It’s often just a question of time and patience. We can’t force the answers to come, but if we try to relax and gain our perspective, we open the door to see them more clearly.

When we’re overwhelmed with an issue, sometimes it’s all we can think about. It consumes us day and night. We can’t sleep, we can’t eat, and we’re stuck. But we can handle it more effectively. We can recognize that the problem probably won’t kill us, although we may think we’re going to die. We can remember all the other times we’ve faced difficulty and managed to get through it. And we can have faith in ourselves. We will find the answer, no matter how obscure, no matter how long it takes, and no matter if it’s complicated. We will solve the problem and be successful. We can take it one step at a time, and minute by minute until we find the answer.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with something difficult, something that is consuming your thoughts, take a moment to breathe. There is nothing you can’t face. You have all the tools you need to solve this, whatever it is. You are strong and capable. You’re intelligent and able to find answers. This is just a moment and it will pass. You will be successful. And on the other side you’ll be wiser, and more confident. You’ve got this, and you will overcome it. Be strong. Keep moving forward. You’ll get there.

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More Than One Way

11 Sep

There are a lot of different ways to look at things.  Some people see a situation one way, others may see it completely differently.  It doesn’t mean either interpretation is wrong, but everything we see and do is colored by our perspectives and our experiences.  When we are looking for solutions to problems there are some who feel there is only one right way to solve it.  It’s hard to convince them there isn’t a paved road to their particular solution, and it can cause some conflict.  But of course, there is rarely only one solution to any problem we face.  More often there are several scenarios that will address the issue and each has its merit.  It’s important to remember that, especially during times when we feel strongly that we have the answer.

No matter where we want to go, there is more than one route and more than one mode of transportation to get us there.  We could drive, we could fly, we could walk or we could ride.  There are main highways, direct routes, back roads, detours, and endless differences in how we get to the destination.  But eventually they will all take us where we want to go.  The scenery may differ, it may take various amounts of time to travel, and our experiences while we’re in transit will be different.  But eventually we will arrive at the destination no matter how we choose to get there, or what route we take.  We understand this when we think about actually going places, but understanding it when we’re solving problems is a little different.

We all feel strongly about certain things.  Some of us take a wide view of things and are laid back with details.  Others of us are precise and prefer things to be planned exactly and predictably.  Neither method is right or wrong.  It’s just a difference in style.  When we have a problem we need to solve and others are involved, if we are strongly convinced that our method is the one true answer, it will be difficult for us to hear other ideas.  But other ideas have value, and there is much to be learned by hearing them, and understanding them.  The best solutions are found when several ideas are considered.  If we focus just on our solution and don’t hear anything else, we miss the opportunity to possibly discover something better.  We all want the best solutions, and hearing other perspectives often leads us to them.

Today if you’re working on a solution to a problem and you are sure you have the best answer, take a minute to explore other possibilities.  Listen to the other ideas presented and be open to seeing how they could work.  Look around and evaluate all the possibilities.  You have great ideas, but so do others.  Be open to them.  You want the very best solution, and that often comes from several sources.  Be creative, and embrace the possibilities.  You might discover that the perfect solution is something different than you first imagined.

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What Really Matters

10 Sep

Like static on the radio, there is a lot of noise in our lives. The constant background thrumming of things going by, the din of those around us, the activity that never ceases, and the continual rhythm of each day. We are distracted by the sounds, and all the things we need to do. Things go right and things go wrong, and we’re caught up in them no matter which way they turn. And as each second passes our opportunity to make a difference passes with it. What are we doing with our time? Are we making an impact? Are we being an influence for good? Sometimes it seems we aren’t even aware of the time going by, and before we know it, it’s gone.

We rush through our days, and then something happens that stops the clock. Something so important that time seems to stand still. It might be a wonderful experience like when we meet the love of our lives, or it might be something very sad as an unexpected death. When those events come to us we tune our focus and sharpen our vision. We wake up, become alert, and see everything clearly. The distractions fade, the mists of busyness lift, and we are there, completely in the moment. And we remember again what’s really important.

This life flies by quickly. We think it will last forever, and then we look up and another year has passed. What have we done during that time? Are we happy with where we are? Are we on the road we really want to be on or are we treading water? Did we look away when we had the chance to go forward? We need to remember who we are and pay attention. We only have today. Nobody knows what will come tomorrow but we can make a difference today. If we grab hold of it, if we make it count, today could be the best day of our lives. Our days are what we make of them, and we’re in control of everything we do. Take control. Do what is most important and make them count.

Today be alert to what’s happening in your life. See everything and make it the best you can. Live each moment and remember this day will never return. It will leave and never look back. Don’t worry about tomorrow. This moment is where we are. Make sure you live it the way you really want to, and focus on what’s really important. You have so much to offer. Remind the world you’re here, and be the influence you want to be.

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Got Your Back

9 Sep

Recently a police officer was shot to death while pumping gas. It was a horrible, malicious and cowardly act, and authorities have arrested a suspect they believe committed the crime. After that terrible event, while at a gas station with his mother, a sixteen year old boy saw another police officer pumping gas. Concerned about her, he walked up to the officer and asked if he could watch her back while she was standing by her car. Surprised but delighted, the officer agreed. Nothing happened and all went well, but the courage and determination demonstrated by that young man are an example to us all. Who has our backs, and how can we watch out for those around us?

We go through our days, busily completing our various tasks and focused on what we’re doing. Sometimes we don’t pay much attention to what’s going on around us. But everywhere we go there are others just like us, busy getting things done. We get used to seeing them and we don’t really watch what’s going on. But if we take a moment to look up and see what’s around us, who’s walking by, who’s in front of or behind us, we can more closely connect to our surroundings. Being aware is an important facet of any situation. We’re safer when we really see where we are, what’s going on, and what we’re doing.

If we pay more attention to those around us, we can be more helpful. We don’t have to offer to protect a police officer to have someone’s back, but we could help out in other small ways. Maybe we could open a door, or help lift something heavy, or smile at a fussing child, or just say hello. The people around us every day are connected to us. We’re all part of the same big family. We need to watch out for them, and let them watch out for us. Most of us care about others, but perhaps we don’t take as much time as we could to express that care. We can be more involved by helping out, and having their backs. And we can let them watch out for us as well.

Today look around as you go about your tasks and notice those near you. What’s going on? Who’s standing beside you? Is there some way you could help out just a little? Is there some way you can show you care? If there is, do whatever you can, and you’ll feel better knowing you are doing your part. Others will see your example, and like a stone thrown into a pond, the rippling of your good works will create others. Be the one to have someone’s back today. And when others offer to help you out, be grateful.

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Just As You Are

8 Sep

We all have things about ourselves we want to change. Maybe we want to lose weight, exercise more, eat better, read more often, learn more about world events, be stronger, become more patient – the list is endless. Maybe we’re working on what we want to change now, or maybe we’ve put it off because of other priorities. Whatever we’re doing, there’s a chance we may be critical of ourselves because we haven’t yet accomplished all we want to. We’re harder on ourselves than anyone else. We push and push, and when we don’t accomplish all we think we should, sometimes we’re critical. We may expect to be perfect even though we know we can’t be. Unfortunately, that kind of thinking undermines us as we go forward.

I recently got a letter from a relative who included an old picture of me they had found from many years ago. When I looked at it, I was surprised at how good I looked. I remembered when that picture was taken feeling homely and undesirable. Looking at the picture now, I see a very attractive and appealing person. But that’s not how I felt at the time. I was highly critical of my appearance, and looking back I can see I was mistaken. We expect so much of ourselves, always seeing the imperfections, and wanting to be more than we think we are. We spend a lot of time looking ahead, trying to fix this or that, hoping that one day we’ll achieve whatever will make us the way we think we should be.

But what if we accepted ourselves today? Just as we are. Nobody is perfect – we all know that, but somehow it seems we make exceptions to the rule with regard to ourselves. We know nobody is perfect, but somehow we think we should be. The truth is we’re fine exactly the way we are. We’re the right size for where we are now, we have everything we need for what we’re doing, and we’re doing the best we can for the moment. We can change things in time, but for now, we’re exactly where we need to be. There’s a lot of press about loving others and that’s important, but it’s also important that we love ourselves. We’re here, we’re living our lives, and we’re exactly as we should be now.

Today if you’re feeling like you aren’t enough, like you should be better somehow, stop and see how wonderful you are right now. You do many things well and some things very well. Recognize those, and remember today is the best day of your life because you’re living it. Be happy with who you are, and what you’ve done. Work on the things you want to change, but as you go forward don’t forget how far you’ve come already. You have a lot going for you. Embrace that and be confident. You really are all that.

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