Doing Laundry

28 Mar

Learning to navigate through conflict isn’t always easy.  When we disagree with someone and things escalate it can be hard to stay on the subject at hand.  If we are passionate about our position and afraid we are losing we may decide to bring other issues into the conversation.  We all have a laundry list of things that bother us, and if we feel our position is slipping we may pull it out and begin sharing all the things that bother us.  They say the best defense is a good offense and that works in some situations but in our interpersonal relationships going for the throat and hitting with all our might may cause damage we don’t want.  It’s normal to get mad sometimes and there may be moments when the person we are closest to drives us nuts.  We can always do the laundry and tell them all the things we don’t like, or we can wait, allow time to calm down, and then talk about what we want.  Words are powerful and once uttered are permanent.  There is no way to go back and erase something we’ve said.  When we lash out in anger and say things that hurt others we may win the battle today but the lingering pain of what we’ve said may last indefinitely.  Instead of doing laundry when we feel overcome, we can look at the situation more objectively.  Many things we disagree about are insignificant in the scope of life.  We can step back, take a breath and see the situation more clearly.  Our relationships are important and take precedence over any difference of opinion.  We can choose to value them and even in disagreement, take care of them.  Every happiness is possible.  Choosing well will help us achieve it.

We would never use a cannon to kill a fly.  A fly swatter is sufficient for the situation and it’s absurd to consider anything more but sometimes in conflict we may choose a cannon when all we need is a fly swatter.  When we feel we are losing we may want to stop everyone in their tracks and take the biggest weapon we can find.  But it’s not helpful to choose something that will destroy when all we really need is a little more influence.  We have all the wisdom we need to make excellent decisions, even in conflict.  We can be appropriate and careful, and still prevail while protecting our relationships.

When we get hit our first reaction may be to hit back.  We don’t have to take abuse without responding but how we respond often determines what happens next.  We can diffuse any situation and find a solution more easily by addressing the affront with patience and clarity.  Communicating calmly will end conflict more effectively than fighting back.  We can choose the best roads going forward.  We can be in control and make decisions that will bring us peace and success.

Today if you’ve had it and want to pull out the laundry list of things you don’t like, think about where that will take you.  Your relationships are precious and more important than any disagreement.  Step back and decide the best way forward.  You are strong and powerful, and nothing is too difficult for you.  Think clearly and choose well.  You’ll find greater happiness and peace ahead.

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Stepping Out

27 Mar

There are billions of people on earth and unless we live on a deserted island or on top of a remote mountain, some of them will be right next to us. It’s great to have company as we go through our lives but we’re all individuals and sometimes we bump into each other as we move along. Conflict is a normal part of life and we all experience it from time to time. When it erupts and escalates, even if we aren’t the key players, we may find ourselves swept up in the melee. When ideas clash and tempers rise, we may be caught up in the struggle and carried along simply because we are there. We can remain in the fight and try to help resolve the conflict, or we can step out and allow those involved to find the answers without us. We all want to be there for those we care about but it’s important to understand where the lines of responsibility lie. We can be supportive and still stay out of the fight. We all have enough personal battles of our own and we can step out of those that belong to others. It doesn’t mean we don’t care. It’s simply a way to respect the right of others to disagree and work out their problem themselves. Learning to resolve conflict and find answers in the midst of struggle are valuable tools to carry forward. We can be supportive and kind, and still allow those around us to find answers on their own. We are all responsible for our own lives. We can stand on our own, face our personal struggles, and find the way forward. There isn’t any problem too complex for us to understand and even in difficulty and duress, we can find the way ahead.

Everyone deals with conflict their own way. Some people can step back from their feelings and easily see things objectively and openly. It’s easier to find answers when our emotions aren’t involved, but sometimes if our feelings have been hurt or we are being influenced by others around us, looking at the situation impartially may be more difficult. It’s hard to find the right road ahead when we’re looking in another direction. We can take our time and evaluate what we really want moving forward. The best answers will always be there for us. When we’re ready we will find them.

We all want to make the best decisions going forward but life is complicated and there are often many factors to be considered. When there are many options going in different directions it can be hard to find the right answer. Weighing all the possibilities and seeing where each will take us will clarify our choices and help us choose the best road ahead. There isn’t any puzzle too complex for us figure out. We have all the wisdom and insight we need to resolve any issue and continue toward success.

Today if you’re involved in a struggle that belongs to others, step out and allow them to resolve the conflict together. You need not adopt any issue that isn’t yours. Be supportive and kind and let those involved find the answers they need. You are wise and helpful and can be an example of strength and understanding. Show us your confidence and courage, and continue to move forward toward success.

 

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Leaning In

26 Mar

We go through a lot of experiences every day as we navigate through our lives.  Some things bring us joy, some make us angry, some are boring and others may be intense or pass with little notice.  Our emotions and how we respond to them are part of what make us human and help others relate to us.  Some people are good at hiding their emotions and prefer not to let others see how they really feel.  Others wear their hearts on their sleeves and we can see everything they’re feeling most of the time.  Being open with our feelings helps us express ourselves and makes it easier for others to understand us.  But if our feelings are negative, or angry and intense, allowing them to color our interactions may make our lives more difficult and complicated.  It’s fine to share personal expressions but we must remember they may affect the message we are trying to portray.  When we are upset and angry and scream at those around us to make a point, the only thing we may accomplish is to push them away.  Trying to understand someone who is hysterical or acting irrationally out of anger is almost impossible.  We can express even intense disappointment in a better way.  If we want to make sure others grasp how important something is, it’s more effective to lower our voices than to raise them.  If we blast those around us with powerful loud voices, they will often step back.  But when our voice is quieter, people will lean in closer to hear what we have to say.  Being heard is important and even if we’re intensely upset we can control our emotions to allow that to happen.

The only way for a baby to express pain, hunger or unhappiness is to scream and cry.  But as we mature, if we want to be happy, we must learn self-control.  As adults, it will never work in our favor to stamp our feet and scream because we are unhappy.  There are no good answers to be found in bad behavior.  We can be in control of our emotions, even when they are intense, and express ourselves in ways that bring people closer and open the doors to the way forward.

Life will surely bring us happy times and difficult, sometimes complicated and extreme problems.  We don’t have to pretend to be happy when things are going wrong but we can control how we respond to every situation in order to bring the best results.  Jumping to hysteria and pushing the panic button every time something goes awry will never take us where we really want to go.  It’s exhausting and keeps us from thinking about our next step.  We have everything we need to understand any situation that comes to us.  If we take time to think instead of react we will find all the answers we need to find our way through.  We are strong and capable, and can live well and effectively.

Today if you’re furious over something and want to lash out at those around you, quiet your thoughts and allow yourself time to think.  You can control your emotions in ways that will bring you happiness and success.  Step back and then step forward.  There isn’t anything you can’t manage and succeed.  You are strong and amazing, and nothing is too difficult for you to overcome.

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Making the Choice

23 Mar

The choices we make have a lot of influence over our lives.  Every decision takes us somewhere and if we’re engaged and aware we may choose roads that take us where we want to go.  But life is busy and can be complicated, and sometimes we make choices quickly out of necessity or even desperation.  Perhaps anger or frustration plays a roll and instead of thinking ahead, we pick a road based on what we’re feeling at the moment.  For every action we take there will always be a reaction of some sort.  If we are quick and thoughtless when we choose our steps forward, we may get a response we don’t want.  It’s impossible to be right all the time.  We all stumble and make mistakes but if we are careless and irresponsible, we may be beset with problems we’ve created ourselves.  Our lives belong solely to us and we are in control of every decision we make.  We can direct our lives forward with positive intent or we can choose without thinking and hope everything works out.  If we want our dreams to come true, or achieve anything, we must purposely direct our decisions.  We can drive out onto the highway but without a destination in mind and the desire to get there we may drive around indefinitely, going nowhere.  Without purposeful intent, and the choices needed to bring us success, we may spin in circles as time passes and never achieve the things we truly want.  Life is an incredible blessing.  Each day brings the chance to move closer to where we want to be.  With careful thought we can take control, make excellent decisions, and find success.  Every dream can come true if we do what is needed to move forward.

Opportunity is everywhere but it’s up to us to claim it.  We can watch others achieve their goals and complain that it was easier for them or they got chances we weren’t afforded.  It’s true that sometimes we will miss out on things we want to do but most of the time the opportunity to move forward is completely in our control.  If we sit back and do nothing, nothing will happen.  It takes determination and action to make any change a reality.  We are in control and every decision is up to us.

It’s easy to stay within our comfort zones and keep a routine we’re familiar with.  If we want something more, or something different we must be willing to step away from what we’re doing.  It can be unsettling to step into unknown territory and we may feel uncomfortable when we try.  But the unknown is only unknown until we make it ours.  We are capable of facing any challenge and embracing any change we desire.  The first steps forward will open new horizons before us and as we push ahead we will achieve success.  There isn’t anything we can’t do.  The world is there for us and we can reach any destination we desire.

Today if you want more opportunity and success, step away from what is familiar and move toward the goals you really want.  You have everything you need to accomplish anything you desire.  Be engaged and aware of each decision and choose the roads that will take you where you want to go.  You are strong and powerful, and nothing is out of reach.  Your life is yours to design and every success is possible.

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Distant Shore

22 Mar

Disappointments and heartache are common experiences in life. They happen to everyone and can be devastating when they come to us. It can be hard to look forward and see anything in front of us when our hearts are broken or we have to face a terrible setback. Plans for our next step may elude us as we grapple with what has happened and try to find our footing. When the pain is great it may be hard to see ahead and all we can think about is making the hurt go away. It can feel like being stranded at sea unable to see land anywhere. We know there is a distant shore out there somewhere but we have no idea how to reach it. When all our plans have disintegrated and our lives feel foreign and out of control it’s hard to find the way forward. Life is all about change and even if we can’t see a future when we’re grieving over something that has devastated us, it’s still there. We will never be left without a shore waiting for us. It may be in the distance and we may need time to find our way to it, but it will always be there waiting for us to arrive. Even if we feel completely lost and alone, even if we don’t know how we’re going to get through, we will find a way. Tomorrow will come and what we’re facing today will change. We can take small steps forward until we feel confident again and are able to see the road ahead. We can stand tall in the midst of despair and look forward. There will always be another road waiting to take us where we want to go. We are strong enough and brave enough, and we have enough wisdom and intelligence to figure out anything that comes. We have all the power we need to overcome anything and we will prevail.

When our circumstances turn and we’re suddenly in a foreign and uncomfortable situation, it may be unsettling and difficult. There may be times when everything we counted on changes and suddenly we’re facing new and uncharted territory. It’s hard to feel confident when we’re in a new set of parameters and aren’t sure which way is up. But we can understand new situations and learn our way around anything that happens. We can trust ourselves to unravel even the most complicated issues and figure out what to do next.

Sorrow is an intense emotion that may overwhelm us. We may feel paralyzed by our misery and believe we’ll be stuck forever. But nothing in life is truly permanent. Everything is always changing and when we’re ready we will find our way again. Disappointments will come but we have everything we need to face whatever life brings. There will always be a way forward and we will find the roads that will take us to success.

Today if you’re heartbroken and devastated and feel like you’ll never be whole again, trust yourself. You’ve overcome many difficult complications already and you will prevail. There isn’t anything strong enough or powerful enough to hold you down. You are amazing and can do anything. Be patient and take courage. Everything you need is there for you. The shore is waiting and you will find it. Take a step forward. Happiness is just ahead.

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