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Perfection

13 Feb

Today’s personal standards tend to be very high. It seems we’re expected to look our best all the time, be friendly and intelligent in every situation, and strive to live a high standard of living. It’s not enough for us to be normal people – more and more it seems we’re expected to be super people who never tire, never get grumpy, and are always ready for the next challenge. Of course those messages are false and unattainable. The problem is although we know it’s impossible, sometimes we buy into them and think we should meet the expectations. We might even think we need to be perfect. But what does it mean to be perfect? Is it a reflection of society’s idea of perfect, our family’s idea of it, our friends’ impressions of it, or can we decide? Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of what perfection is, and the only standard we need to measure ourselves against is the one we choose. It may be very different from person to person. But when we are striving to be our best, our standards are the only ones that count. We don’t have to be tall, or thin, or genius, or rich. We can be what we determine is best for us. It’s fine to strive for perfection as long as we define what that looks like.

The world is filled with differences. Everywhere we look there are all kinds of people, no two exactly the same. We don’t look alike, we don’t dress alike, we don’t act the same way, we don’t even speak the same language. There is no way to measure one against the other and there can’t possibly be one version that is better than another. Each has it’s own assets and draw backs. That being the case, there is no way to define what a perfect person should be. If we try to measure ourselves against others, and their expectations, we may come up short. Someone will always be more talented, more beautiful, more gifted, or more wealthy. If we want to reach personal perfection, we can do it in our own unique way.

There is often pressure to conform and be like those around us. It can seem easier if we fit in and mimic the patterns and lifestyles of those we associate with. But if we do everything the way someone else is doing it, there is no room for us to do it our way. We are experts in being ourselves. Nobody knows us like we do. We know what makes us happy, what makes us mad, and who we really are. What’s unique about us is what’s perfect. We don’t have to fit somebody else’s mold, and we don’t have to pretend we’re something we’re not. Just being who we are, striving for what’s important to us, going after the goals we want to achieve, and being completely authentic is perfect. Every one has a special gift to share with the world that nobody else can bring. If we remember that when there is pressure to conform, we’ll have the courage to be uniquely ourselves. We can do what we want, dress the way we like, and live our lives our way. And when we do, we’ll be perfect.

Today you don’t have to try to make yourself into something you aren’t in order to fit in. There is nobody else like you in the whole world. You are a blessing to us all just as you are. Be uniquely you and show us how wonderful that is. It’ll be the very best you can do. In fact, it’ll be perfect.

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Recess

12 Feb

When we were children in school, and the day was marching along from one subject to another, the best part of the day for most of us was recess. It was a break from sitting still and listening, from answering questions, and trying to be quiet. We got to run outside in the fresh air, laugh and play with friends, make noise and move around as much as we wanted. When it was over and time to return to our classrooms, we felt refreshed and all the extra energy building up inside us was released. It was like a reset button to get us going again. As adults we may have forgotten about recess, but it’s still an effective way for us to refresh ourselves and get a little release from the stress and pressure of our everyday tasks. We can incorporate a little recess into our daily routines, go outside, take a walk, get something to drink or a snack, and enjoy a change of scenery. It need not take long to be effective. Just a few minutes away from our routine can refresh us and give us a boost. Even though we’re well past elementary school, recess can still have a place in our lives. If we take it every day, plan for it and enjoy it, it can be a valuable asset we give to ourselves. It can bring us new perspective and fresh ideas. Just like when we were kids, recess may reset our day and make us feel better.

Going outside for a short break of fresh air has all kinds of benefits. Some studies show that when we go outdoors, we have increased energy and a heightened sense of well-being. Stress can cause an elevation in blood pressure and heart rate, and increase muscle tension. Additionally it may suppress our immune systems and makes us more susceptible to illness and infection. Being outside, even for a short time, may reduce stress, making us feel better emotionally and physically. With all we have to do and the stress attached to it, taking a short recess may bring us all those benefits.

When we’re bogged down in the weeds of everything we’re trying to accomplish, sometimes we can only see what’s right in front of us. If we are intensely focused on our work we may not even look up for hours on end. Stopping for a few minutes and taking a break to go outside and take a short walk, and get a change in scenery can do wonders for our creative processes. We see things differently and even a few minutes away can make us think of things in a different way. New ideas may emerge and when we return, we may find we have answers to problems that before had confounded us. A short recess may recharge us and help us to move forward. It’s something that’s easy to forget but if we schedule it, and make time for it, it can have long range benefits. We don’t have to work constantly and if we take a short break from time to time, just to let our minds wander and look at something new, we might find our days moving forward more easily and with less effort. Recess was a great idea when we were children. It’s a great idea for us as adults too. We can take it, enjoy it, and make the most of it, and it will reduce stress, and increase our happiness.

Today if you’ve been working hard on something that has your complete attention, look up and take a break. Go outside and enjoy a short walk. Look around and let your mind wander. You’ll be amazed at how refreshed you’ll feel and when you return to your work, everything will be just a little easier. You do so much. You deserve to be comfortable and enjoy yourself. Take recess today.  You’ll love it!

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Eating an Elephant

11 Feb

There are times in all of our lives when we have a lot to do, things are complicated, and we’re under stress. A hundred things could be happening, and we may find ourselves struggling to keep up and manage it all. It’s easy to get overwhelmed at times like these and we may think we can’t handle it. When there’s a lot going on and a lot expected of us, we can feel like we’re chasing a train. There is no way to catch it but it can seem we’re expected to anyway. It’s hard to navigate everything when there’s a lot happening, but we can manage it more effectively if we step back and take it one step at a time. If we do the first step, and then the next, one after the other we’ll manage everything and get to the finish line. We don’t have to look ahead and try to do all that must be done going forward. It’s enough to tackle what must be done today. We can keep the long range goal in our sites, but if we focus only on what we must accomplish today, we will more effectively move forward. Stress can make it hard to think and see things clearly. Taking one day at a time will help alleviate that. Perhaps you’ve heard the old question, “How do you eat an elephant?” We all know the answer – one bite at a time. The same is true when we have a lot weighing on us. We can accomplish it by taking it one bite at a time.

There are many facets to our lives and at times it seems every one of them is pressing for our attention. Perhaps our families have special needs, and our projects at work are intense, and the car needs servicing, and we have to get supplies for the neighborhood party, and we forgot we promised to help a friend with a repair, and a dozen other things. Each task is easy to complete on its own, but when they are all jumbled together we can feel buried alive with no air to breathe. But each task, no matter how pressing, can be managed. If we take a few moments and make a plan, and determine how much we can accomplish today and what we can postpone until tomorrow, we will succeed. We are perfectly capable of managing our lives, no matter how complicated they become. We have the key to un-complicate them. We just need to take care of today. Tomorrow we’ll do tomorrow. And the next day we’ll manage that day. If we take it one step at at time, we’ll succeed in getting everything completed.

In this day and age it seems there are more expectations on us than ever before. There is always something more others want from us. But we are in control of our lives and we can say no if we need to. We don’t have to do everything we’re asked to do. We know how much we have already, and if adding more to the “to do” list will break the bank, we can decline. Saying no is an appropriate and sensible choice when saying yes would overwhelm us. We may disappoint the person asking for our time, but agreeing to do something we don’t have time for will only set us up for failure. It’s better to wisely monitor our choices so we can accomplish the commitments we’ve made. We are in charge of our lives and our decisions. It’s fine to say no when we need to. Being proactive in our choices will help us feel more control and enable us to better manage our responsibilities. We all want to be helpful, but sometimes that means we need to take care of what we have already and decline the opportunity to do more.

Today if you’re feeling overwhelmed with all you have to do, stop for a moment and look at what you can reasonably accomplish today. Make a plan to complete those tasks and tomorrow begin again. You can do anything but you can’t do it all at once. Just take care of today. One step at a time is all you need to take. Keep moving forward and you’ll find all the success you’re seeking.

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Straight Lines

10 Feb

Our lives don’t usually travel in straight lines. As we move forward, perhaps we take one road and hit a detour, and then turn our course toward another direction. Sometimes we change direction several times until we find our way. We learn as we go, and as we’re learning we modify where we’re headed. At first we might think we know the way, but after several complications make an adjustment. Most things we accomplish are done through trial and error. The errors aren’t permanent road blocks, but merely indications that some correction is needed. Generally the only time we move forward in a straight line is when we’re traveling a road we’ve already conquered. When we’ve been there before, we know the way and it’s easy to get from the beginning to the end. But when we want to go somewhere new, it’s all up for grabs. Maybe this way will work, may that. It doesn’t matter how many times it takes us to find the direction that works. What matters is that we don’t quit when the first road doesn’t take us there.

If we want to do something and the first time out doesn’t work, we don’t have to continue. We can quit. If we didn’t find our way the first time we may decide that trying again isn’t worth the effort. Our lives belong to us and we can manage them any way we like. But if we really want to get somewhere, and it’s important to us, we can try again. The great thing about life is we get unlimited chances to figure things out. We are where we are at any given moment. We know what we’ve learned so far and when we’re reaching for something new there will be situations we haven’t yet faced. We won’t know the perfect way to get there, and sometimes don’t know how much effort it will take. But we do know where we want to go, and knowing that will give us the temerity and courage to find our way.

Failure doesn’t happen when we don’t find our way the first time. Failure only happens when we give up and quit trying. We can get lost again and again and again, but if we reset our direction and try one more time, we haven’t failed. We’ve learned more than we knew when we started out, we’ve discovered what doesn’t work, and we can keep refining things until we get to the destination. There are lots of different roads to every destination. If we keep going, turning here when needed, redirecting there when we reach a detour, we will find our way. We are creative and strong enough to keep going. If the goal is important, it really doesn’t matter how many times it takes us to reach it. What’s important is that we keep going until we succeed. And when we’ve achieved a difficult goal, when we’ve finally mastered everything we need to be successful we will feel great accomplishment, and our confidence will soar. There really isn’t anything we can’t do if we want to badly enough. We can climb mountains, build cities, master new skills, and become the person we most want to be. Everything is available to us. All we have to do is keep going. There is no road too long to travel, no journey too hard to conquer, and no goal too lofty to reach. We can do anything.

Today if you’ve been trying to accomplish something and haven’t found the right road yet, keep trying. It’s there and you will see it. Every road you’ve taken so far has brought you closer to where you want to be. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Try again. The goal is just around the next bend. It’s waiting for you and you will reach it. Don’t stop. You have everything you need to succeed.

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Keeping Secrets

9 Feb

Sometimes there are things we don’t want everyone to know. They are personal and private, so we keep them to ourselves. Other times, we share those very personal things with those close to us and open up in order to gain a closer relationship. But there are times we keep secrets for different reasons. Maybe we don’t want others to know the truth of a situation because it will prevent us from getting what we want from them. Sometimes we don’t want them to know the whole story because it may change their opinion of us. Whatever our reasons, when we keep secrets they can become very powerful in our lives. They can prevent us from doing certain things, saying certain things, or acting on suggestions that would benefit us. We may think we’re just keeping a secret, but if the secret controls how we go forward, the truth is the secret is keeping us.

It’s important that we are free to make decisions any way we want to, and act on those decisions freely and openly. If our lives are filled with secrets about how we are or who we are, we cannot experience that freedom. If we want to keep the secret away from others, we have to modify our decisions to accommodate it. When we live openly and honestly, without reserve, we can build strong and effective relationships. If we’re hiding something, we may build relationships but they will never be as strong or effective as they could be. It’s like building a house on sand. The foundation may look strong, and we might even use very strong stone, but sands shift with wind and rain, and when they do, the foundation becomes unstable and eventually the house will fall. The same is true of our relationships. If they are built on a foundation of secrecy when the winds come and the rain falls, and when everything is exposed as it really is, the relationship may fail. It’s impossible to keep a secret forever. Truth always surfaces and eventually everything will be laid open. When that happens the lives we’ve built may tumble and we may lose everything we thought we had.

We don’t have to tell everyone everything about us. There are personal things we all want to keep to ourselves, and we’re entitled to do so. But if we have secrets that could affect our relationships, it’s far better to simply state them, and move forward. Those who care about us will understand our fears and concerns and will respect us for sharing. If we have a secret related to our past that we don’t want to share, and it comes up, we can say it’s a private matter we aren’t comfortable discussing. We don’t have to tell things we’re uncomfortable with, but being open about an experience – even if we don’t tell all the details – will enable others to trust us, and will help us build strong connections. We can be private, and still not be controlled by secrecy. We deserve to live our lives openly and without controls. We can do that more effectively without keeping secrets.

Today if you’ve been keeping a secret and find that it’s controlling you and your decisions, let it go. You can keep personal details to yourself, but choose to live openly and without reserve. Nobody’s life is perfect. You are lovable and wonderful just as you are. There is no need to hide anything. Be courageous. Everyone will love and respect you for your honesty and faith going forward.

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