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Legacy

20 Feb

When we read about the legacies people leave behind when they pass away, they generally refer to monetary situations. Maybe they donated a large sum of money to a special charity, or left valuable property to family members. But a personal legacy is more than that. It doesn’t always involve things of monetary value. Our behavior can become our legacy. What we do while we’re alive, who we help, how we serve, and how we interact with others is the real legacy we leave behind. Money gets spent, property gets sold and after time people forget about it. But if we’ve touched other lives in positive ways, and made a personal impact it isn’t easily forgotten. When we think back over our lives we remember the times when we needed help and someone was there for us. We recall specific moments when we felt lost and someone reached out a hand to us. Those are the memories that never seem to fade. They are etched in our minds forever because we felt loved and cared for. If we live our lives in ways that extend love to others, we will change the world for good because we were here. It will never be forgotten, and although time will continue to move forward after we’re gone, the rippling effect of kindness will carry on forever.

It seems as time has passed we’ve become more callous, more selfish, and less sensitive to the needs of those around us. Our lives are more complicated now than ever before. People are busy and focused on their personal lives and sometimes don’t even look up when they pass us on the street. Smiling and saying hello has become a rare experience instead of the norm. We seem to always be rushing off to the next thing, and in a hurry to leave where we are. But when things go wrong and everything stops we see those around us, and notice what’s happening, and if we need help and someone is there for us we feel intense gratitude. Those moments are a reminder of who we are and how much we need each other. Even when we’re busy we can still take a moment to offer a smile, say hello, and lend a helping hand. It’s amazing how even small gestures of kindness can change a situation. If we keep our eyes open we will find countless ways to do small acts of kindness every day. And although they may seem small to us, they be an enormous help to those receiving them.

Life is complicated. We experience a lot of things as we go through the course of one day. We make dozens of decisions and often accomplish much. If we want to make a positive impact and leave a mark of kindness and support, we have to look up and outside ourselves. It’s so easy to be only focused on our own lives. We have a lot to take care of and responsibilities to attend to. But as we go along we are passing others who have just as much to manage. If we try we can be a blessing to them. We can help lift a grocery sack, open a door, pick up something that’s dropped, or take a moment to listen. It doesn’t take much time and if we tried every day to be just a little more helpful, kind, and supportive to others, over the course of our lives we would change the world. When we help someone it makes them feel cared for and they may then care for someone else. Like the never ending ripples in a pond, the kindness will expand. That’s a legacy to be proud of. We don’t need money, and we don’t need expensive possessions. We just need to be kind. It’s the very best thing we can do.

Today if you’ve been focused on all you have to do and haven’t noticed those around you, stop for a moment and look around. See if there is some way you can extend a small kindness. If you do that every day you will feel the glory that comes from goodness and you’ll leave a legacy behind that will never end. You have so much to give. You can change the world.

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Mother May I

19 Feb

When we were children as a way of protecting us from doing things beyond our ability to manage or that may hurt us, we were taught to ask for permission. Whenever we wanted to do something away from home, or anything different than the norm we were expected to ask first.  If we rebelled against that requirement and did something without asking, and it was something that should have been discussed prior, there were often unpleasant consequences to face afterward. And so we learned to ask or at least to make sure it was okay before proceeding. As we got older our lives became more independent and eventually we began to make decisions on our own. Permission is an agreement from someone in authority over us that we may do something we want to do. As adults, outside of work, or social situations where others may be impacted, we don’t need anyone’s permission to make our personal decisions. We are capable of choosing on our own.  The days of “Mother may I,” have passed.

Despite the fact that we are perfectly capable of managing our lives, we can get into situations with others where we feel we need to get their agreement in our personal decisions. Perhaps it’s a close friend who has a strong personality and wants to guide us. Perhaps the old patterns with our parents still linger. Perhaps it’s a relationship we value greatly and the other person wants control over or input into our decisions. There are lots of reasons we can feel we need to get permission or approval before going forward. But our lives belong to us and only us. We can make any personal decisions we want to and we don’t need anyone’s approval. We don’t have to tell anyone before we make a decision, even if it’s one we know others may not like. Our decisions are ours. We can make them on our own, be confident in our ability to choose well, and direct our lives accordingly.

People are complex. We have all kinds of emotions and feelings to contend with on a daily basis. Sometimes we may be fearful of doing something differently than what others may expect. That fear may prevent us from making decisions we really want to make. Or we might be unsure we can make a good decision without getting the approval of others first because we’ve always done that in the past. But we know how to make good decisions. We know how to weigh all the options and choose what’s best for us. Nobody really knows what’s best for us better than we do, not even those who love us. We are the only ones who know everything that’s going on inside and what we truly want. We know who we are and are able to make good, strong choices. If others disagree that will be their burden to carry. It is not our responsibility to ensure everyone is happy with the way we choose to live our lives. If we can remember that and trust in ourselves, we can go forward and make any decision we choose to with confidence. We can do anything. We just have to decide.

Today if you’ve been holding back on a personal decision because you know somebody won’t like it or won’t agree, if it’s important to you, go forward. You know what you need and what you want. There is nothing you can’t do. You are in charge of your life and can make it any way you want it. This is your day. Choose to make it completely yours.

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Photoshop

18 Feb

In today’s technical age there are all kinds of ways to make things seem different than they really are. Pictures can be altered to produce images that aren’t real or make the subject appear to be more perfect. These techniques are used constantly in advertising and the media has made them commonplace. When our lives aren’t going exactly the way we want them to, or we aren’t exactly where we want to be, we may wish we had something like that to make us appear different than we are. We might wish to appear taller, smarter, thinner, more attractive, more confident or a dozen other adjectives. But there is no way to “Photoshop” our lives to make them look the way we’d like them to. We are where we are, and all the pretending in the world won’t change anything. Even if we could use illusion and deception to make things look different, it can’t last forever. Eventually the curtain will fall and we’ll be exposed. But if we don’t like where we are, and if the situation we’re in isn’t working, there are things we can change. If we don’t like what we’re doing, we can stop doing it. We can make any decision we want to and adjust our lives. We probably can’t make ourselves taller but we can change a lot. We can do more than just look different on the outside. We can truly change any way we like.

It takes time to figure out what we want and where we want to go. While we’re finding our way, we may try on different things to see if we like them. Sometimes they’ll feel natural and fit where we’re headed, and other times they’ll fall away. But as we’re striving to find what we want, our lives are going by and we are expressing ourselves as we are. Sometimes those expressions aren’t exactly what we’d like. Maybe our temper needs to be tamed, or our language needs improvement, or we want to alter our appearance to better suit the desired destination. It takes time to change but we will accomplish it step by step. In the interim, we may feel unsettled and struggle to find what works best. However, even if we’re in transition we can be confident. If where we are isn’t exactly where we want to be we can continue going forward until we get there. Continuing to move forward is the key, and the confidence that comes from doing that will help us. We are fine as we are now even if it’s not where we want to be. We can manage today as it is, and each day we move forward will take us a little closer to our goal.

Sometimes the idea of changing can seem daunting and if we choose to, we may instead live our lives dishonestly. We may pretend to be someone we aren’t, say we believe things we don’t, and go along with others even when we don’t agree. But if we choose that option we can’t share our genuine unique influence. We all have special gifts to offer that nobody else can give. If we keep those gifts to ourselves and instead pretend to be something else, the world will miss the blessings we have to offer. We have the distinct privilege of making a difference because of who we are. We don’t have to use illusion and we don’t need “Photoshop” to help us. Who we really are can shine through and be a positive influence on the world. If we want to change, we can. Whatever we want to achieve, we can achieve. Wherever we want to go, we can get there. But until we do, we can genuinely be ourselves along the journey. Our contribution is valuable no matter where we are in our lives. We have a lot to offer, and the world wants to hear it.

Today if you’ve been pretending to be something you aren’t, or if you’ve been trying to look different than you really are, let it go. You have so much to give and we all need your special influence. You are great just being you. If you want to change, you can. Until then, be the best you can be exactly as you are now.

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Connections

17 Feb

We all love our electronic devices when they’re working as designed to. But sometimes they have problems and often the problem has to do with a connection of some sort. Maybe there is intermittent access at our location or we can’t get a signal to latch onto. If the connections for our devices are poor, they will not work well for us. The same can be true of our lives. We work best when we have good connections. If we have others around us willing to help us, support us, and befriend us, life is inherently easier. There are lots of people around us every day but we don’t connect to everyone in the same way. We build relationships with some, and are passing acquaintances with others. But every connection we make can be beneficial in some way. It’s nice to have friends to rely on, people who care about us and support us in our endeavors. But how do we build good, strong connections? How can we make sure our network is working when we need it?

We’re all unique in many ways but we’re all drawn to those we feel we can trust, and who extend themselves to us. We’re attracted to those who are warm and inviting, who seem genuinely interested in us, and who always seem willing to listen. Even when we meet someone new, if they are open and engaging, they will pull us in. It’s in our nature as human beings to want to connect with others. When we are near those who welcome us, listen to us, and are supportive and kind, we feel a connection. It’s a natural response to positive behavior. We all feel it and unless we’re determined not to get close to anyone, it’s almost impossible to resist. We want to feel connected, we want to feel part of the group, and we want to be accepted. When we’re around others that make us feel that way, we naturally draw close to them and want to build a relationship with them.

This life can be complicated and sometimes things go wrong. When they do we may feel angry or upset and need solitude to work things out. During times like those we may not care about building connections or even welcoming anyone into our lives. But eventually we may want to reconnect with those around us for advice and support. If we have a network of friends and associates who know us, who care about us, and who want only what’s best for us, we can turn to them for help and counsel. But we can’t have that network if we don’t let people in. We can’t expect to have people close to us if we’ve kept them away and resisted building relationships with them. It doesn’t take a lot of time to make connections with others, but it does take effort. Just like we’re drawn to those who are kind and welcoming, we’ll pull others close by being the same way. We have to be willing to open our lives a little, let people near us and be as supportive to them and we want them to be to us. We’re all in this together. We can either take this walk alone and face our dragons all by ourselves, or bring others along with us and share our struggles together. Two is always stronger than one. And as we navigate our days, any extra strength we can expand is well worth our effort.

Today if you’ve been keeping yourself apart and trying to do everything alone, reach out. There are lots of people around you who want to share your life. Let them in. Love them and support them, and be there when they need you. The time will come when they will return the favor back to you and their connections to you will be priceless. Reach out and make a friend. You have so much to give. Share it and the blessing will return to you ten times over.

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Lost at Sea

16 Feb

As we go through our lives we try to do things right. Nobody wants to make a mistake on purpose so at each step we try to make choices that will take us where we want to go. But sometimes along the way we get lost. Maybe we took a turn we thought would lead us somewhere and it took us completely the wrong way. Maybe we got confused about the direction we were headed and fell off a cliff. Getting lost is frustrating and sometimes even frightening. Imagine we are lost at sea in the middle of the day and have no compass or visible landmarks. It’s disorienting and trying to figure out which way to go can be baffling. But getting lost does bring blessings. In the end, it’s all part of finding our way. When we’re trying to accomplish something we’ve never done before or looking for a new destination, getting lost may happen. But it’s not always a bad thing to lose our way and get confused. Sometimes when we’re stuck and nothing is working, we have the chance to clarify exactly what we want, and our true strengths come forward. We never really know who we are until things go wrong. We find out how strong we are when we have to endure, and how smart we are when we make a mistake and have to figure things out. Getting lost is all part of the process of finding ourselves. Nobody gets a paved road in this life. We all have to find our way step by step. And although we want everything to go smoothly, we actually learn more when it doesn’t.

Having an easy life where everything is handed to us seems like a great idea. We wouldn’t have to work hard, we wouldn’t have to struggle finding answers, there would be no confusion, and everything would work out without any effort. But if we didn’t have to work hard, we would never learn to be strong. If we didn’t have to find answers, we wouldn’t learn how to reason. And if we never had to put forth any effort, there would be little value in the things we acquire. When we work hard for something that confounds us and makes us push ourselves, it’s very valuable once we succeed. We know how hard it was to get through and we treasure the outcome. The harder we have to work for something, the more valuable it becomes.  The old saying, “Easy come, easy go,” is true. If we can get something for nothing or little effort, we can easily let it go. It won’t mean much because it didn’t cost us much to gain it.

What we do with our lives matters because what we do makes us who we are. It’s important to decide what we’ll work hard for, what we’ll strive for, and how we determine to succeed. If we want to be capable of greatness we have to be willing to face the possibility of great struggle. If we want to be honorable we have to be willing to make difficult decisions that bring us honor. If we want to be truly honest in all our dealings, we have to be willing to choose the right every time even if it means we lose something else. We can be anything we want to be. If we want to be the very best we can be, we must be willing to do what it takes to get there. That may mean being brave enough to take a new path even if nobody will go with us, and strong enough to believe we’ll succeed even when we get lost. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We are capable of achieving anything is this life. If we are determined there is nothing that will stop us.

Today if you’ve gotten lost trying to find you way, and you’re confused about which way to turn, think about what you really want. Then look around and the way will open up to you. Getting lost isn’t the end of the journey. You have everything you need to succeed and get anywhere you want to be. Correct your course and start again. You will find your way.

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