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Intervention

10 Mar

We’ve all heard of interventions, and maybe seen them on television or witnessed them in real life. They are done in an effort to change or improve a situation with someone, and are sometimes used to help people who struggle with addictions, or who have trouble facing the truth about something. Often they are initiated by family members or other loved ones worried about someone close to them. One of the first things done in this situation is telling the complete truth about what is happening. Seeing everything as it is begins the process of change. Sometimes we may have times in our lives when we need to make a drastic change or face something very difficult. We don’t need to go through a formal intervention to face our situation and move forward. If we are ready and really want to turn our lives we can facilitate the change ourselves. All we have to do is decide it’s time to begin. We know what’s best for us, and we know when we’re on the wrong road. We know when we’re not being honest with ourselves, and we know what we need to do. Once we decide to change, the process of turning can begin. It doesn’t matter how we do it or how long it takes. What’s important is that we’re ready to start.

Most of us are honest with those around us. We try to be fair, wait our turn in line, pay our bills on time, and want to be nice. But sometimes we aren’t as kind and honest with ourselves. We expect more from ourselves than we would ever expect from others. We can be critical when we aren’t perfect, or feel shame when we don’t think we measure up. These kinds of personal judgments can prevent us from moving forward. We may even feel if we don’t do everything exactly right nobody will love us. We would never put those kinds of requirements on others. We allow for their mistakes, we don’t expect perfection, and we still care about them. But sometimes we have a double standard when it comes to expectations for ourselves. It’s important to remember that we are perfect just like we are now. We don’t have to be the best, the fastest, the tallest, the smartest, or the most successful to be loved. We have unique gifts and talents that nobody else possesses, and we already have a lot to offer. We are lovable just as we are.

Being honest with ourselves isn’t always easy. If we want to really know who we are, we have to be willing to open all the secret doors we’ve kept shut, and pull the curtains away letting all the light shine through. We need to look at what we’re actually doing and decide if it’s what we really want. If it isn’t, we can make decisions that will put us on the road that will take us where we want to go. There isn’t anything we can’t change. But first we have to be willing to see things as they are. We can’t hide behind our families, our jobs, our money, our reputations, or anything else. We can have our own personal intervention, face our reality as it exists, and then decide how to go forward. We can have any kind of life we want but we won’t achieve anything we’re looking for if we look away from where we are. We can face our lives, decide what we want to change, and move forward.

Today if you feel you aren’t where you want to be, and you aren’t sure how to move forward, stop and take a good look at your life. See everything as it is, and decide where you want to go from here. There isn’t anything you can’t do. The road is already there waiting for you. Take the first step on the journey today. There is sunshine just ahead. You have everything you need to reach it.

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Real Life

9 Mar

We live in a real world and it’s not difficult to see and navigate the material things around us.  But we also live in a world with other people we interact with on a daily basis.  They make decisions about what they will do and say to us.  Sometimes they talk to us in truth and other times may say something entirely different.  If we are honest it may be hard to believe that those near us could tell us things that aren’t true.  We all want truth in our lives, but sometimes we may believe in fiction.  It could be a lie that someone we love is telling us because they don’t want to hurt us with the truth, or want us to believe it in order to get something from us.  Maybe we pretend that something is real that isn’t, because facing it as it is, is hard and painful.  Deception and lies, pretending and looking the other way complicate us and make even simple decisions difficult.  We deserve to be happy and live as peacefully as possible.  That can only happen if we’re willing to see and accept things as they really are.  Truth is truth and will always surface.  There is no way to hide from it forever and the best we can do is face it.

If we want we can live our entire lives in the land of fiction, making up stories about what we’re doing, and what’s happening.  We can believe in people that lie to us even when we have the truth staring us in the face.  We might tell ourselves it’s better not to rock the boat and face the truth, but that just prolongs the inevitable.  The problem with fiction is it can’t stand up over time.  There is no way to live a lie forever.  Running from the truth, hiding from it, dodging it, ignoring it, or in any way trying to avoid it, is exhausting.  No matter how difficult it is to face, it’s easier in the end than living a life on the run.  Pretending is just another word for acting, and if we’re acting out our lives instead of really living them, we can’t be who we really are.  It’s best to accept things truthfully, face them head on, and shake away the clouds of deception.  Only then can we live our lives honestly and with clarity.

Sometimes we believe a lie because we really want the story to be true.  If we love someone and they continually tell us things we want to hear, we may go along even if we know it isn’t real.  Personal desires can be very strong and we may believe the story will eventually come true.  But we can’t read the future, and all we can really count on is what is real today.  They say the best predictor of the future is the past, and that’s often true.  If someone has lied to us in the past there’s a good chance they will continue to follow the same path.  Of course, people can change and turn things around, but putting our lives on hold and pretending will not make that happen.  We can only control our own decisions, and choose to move forward with our own lives.  We deserve to make all our dreams come true.  We can do that if we live in the real world and not the land of fiction.

Today if you’ve been hoping for something to be true that hasn’t happened, remember you are worth the best of everything.  You deserve everything you are seeking.  Choose to move forward.  You are in control of your happiness.  Facing truth will help you find it.  You can make all your dreams come true by living in the real world and you have the courage and wisdom to do that.

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The Straw

8 Mar

Most of us are pretty resilient. We can endure challenges as they come along and find our way through. We figure out how to go forward when things get hard, and we know what we want to do. Sometimes we get into situations where those around us make us feel uncomfortable. Maybe someone continually insults us or criticizes us, or someone close to us lets us down again and again. We can put up with those things for a time, but eventually we will get to a breaking point. We finally get to that straw, the final straw that breaks the camel’s back. We all have limits, and limits by their very definition have end points. We can endure something for a time, look the other way, and take it, but at some point we will have had enough. When that happens we have to change the situation. Sometimes because we’ve let bad feelings or resentment fester, when we get to the point of no return we may lash out and say things we regret later and make the situation worse. If we can be proactive and change things before that happens we’ll be more successful in changing things. We are all entitled to speak up and state what we don’t want. If we wait, endure in silence, and get pushed too far, we may find ourselves acting in ways that don’t reflect the standards we want to keep.

Some people are rude. Some people are mean, and some people don’t care if they hurt others. We all get to choose what kind of person we want to be and for some those choices are hurtful or demeaning. We’ve all known, or had to interact with, someone who was unkind or abrasive. Every situation is different and if our dealings with them are limited we may choose to endure it and say nothing. But if we must interact with them over a period of time and each time we’re uncomfortable, we can speak up. We don’t have to be rude or unkind. We can patiently and clearly say what is offensive to us and ask them to stop doing it. That may be uncomfortable at first, but often once we’ve stated our feelings, the other person will change their behavior when they are with us. Even if they don’t change, we will have more confidence going forward because we’ve expressed our needs and know they are aware of the situation.

If we wait until the last straw when we can’t stand one more moment of the situation, we may give up our ability to control how we handle it. It’s harder to control our behavior when we’re furious or angry than it is when we’re calm and in control. If we say something the first time we’re offended, we have a better chance of being in control of the situation instead of allowing it to be in control of us. We are entitled to feel comfortable in our dealings with others and we deserve to be treated with respect. If that’s not happening we can politely express our dissatisfaction the first time we feel it. If we clearly state our boundaries and say how we feel we may turn a turbulent relationship around. If we say nothing, our only option is to suffer in silence, which gets us nowhere.

Today if you’ve been insulted or hurt by something someone did or said, talk to them. Tell them how you feel. Just speaking up will empower you. You deserve only the best of everything. When you speak up you have the best chance of getting that. You have so much to offer. Ask for the respect you deserve. You’ll feel better and your confidence will rise.

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Hopeless

5 Mar

There are times in everyone’s life when we’ve wanted something badly and no matter what we’ve done or how we’ve tried, haven’t been able to achieve it. Maybe it’s taken a long time – years even – and still we feel no closer to the goal than when we started. We think about giving up but we want the dream and can’t imagine not succeeding. And so we continue. If we reach a point where we feel hopeless that we’ll ever get to the end of the road, we can feel like we’ve failed. But if we don’t want to stop trying, we can think about the situation a little differently. If we feel hopeless, we may need to stop for a moment and look at the situation objectively, and think about what we really want going forward. If we feel we’ve given all we can and need to stop pushing for now, we can do that. We can take a break from the struggle. We can rethink how we want to go forward. If we want to, we can decide to set the goal aside for a time and revisit it later when our perspective is fresh, and our lives are in a different place. Sometimes it’s all about timing. If we stop for a while, and do other things we may find a new way that will move us forward.

When we’re pushing hard for something, sometimes we lose our focus on everything else around us. We can no longer see the forest for all the trees in our way. It’s easy to get tunnel vision when we want something badly but seeing only the goal we’re seeking can keep us from seeing things around us that can move us closer to it. There may be someone standing right next to us with the answers we need but if we’re only looking ahead and not paying attention, they may walk right past us without us saying a word. There is nothing wrong with focusing on a goal, and we need to keep our eyes on where we want to go if we hope to get there. But while we’re looking forward, it’s important to look around as well. There are answers all around us. If we look up from time to time and engage those near us we may find exactly what we’re seeking.

It’s hard to be patient when we want something very badly. It’s hard to wait, and search, and press forward every day. After a time all the struggle and striving can take its toll on us. If we remember why we want to get to the goal and what it will mean to us when we achieve it, we can endure whatever comes. As we move forward we’re learning new things, and finding our way. If we need to, we can take time out to regroup, restore, or rethink. We don’t have to accomplish everything at once. We can get there taking it one step at a time. If we need to step away for a while, we can. There is nothing wrong with taking a break and sometimes a little distance can open our eyes to new direction. If we want to keep pressing forward, we can do that too. It’s all up to us and we can do whatever works best. Everyone does things their own way and whatever works best for us is perfect. It doesn’t matter if it looks different than someone else’s model, and it doesn’t matter how long it takes. The important thing is doing what we want to do most.

Today if you’ve been working hard to achieve something and you feel overwhelmed or hopeless because you haven’t gotten to the goal, perhaps it’s time to take a break. You’ve come a long way already, and if you step back your vision may clear. When you start again you won’t have lost any ground. You have everything you need to win. You know what you want. You have more courage than you realize. There is nothing that will prevent you from succeeding. Nothing will stop you.

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Intertwined

4 Mar

We can do just about anything we want to in our lives. If we want to learn something new, with enough time and practice we can master whatever it is. If we want to make a change, with enough determination we can accomplish it. And if we want to achieve something, if we plan well and do all we can, we can succeed. Unfortunately we all face times when something we really want eludes us.  If everything only depended on us we might never fail, but in this life what we do and what we want often depends on the choices of others. We can try hard to change something in our lives but if others are involved and they don’t agree, we may have to alter our course for a time.  Sometimes we may have to change our plans until the situation improves. But that doesn’t mean we have to forsake the dream. It just means we may have to move in a different direction or at a different pace.

The old saying that “no man is an island” is true. We live in a world with lots of other people. We develop all kinds of relationships with them and they are intertwined throughout our lives. There are some things we do that don’t impact anyone else, but unless we’re hermits living alone on a mountain top, many of our choices will touch those around us in some way. If we’re in a work situation, the choices we make and the things we want to achieve may depend on their agreement and support. If we’re dealing with family and they don’t understand what we’re trying to do, their disapproval may hinder us. If we’re in a relationship where someone depends on us keeping things the same, we may postpone a decision we really want to make. People are complicated and every one of us has our own unique perspective on life. If we want to do something that needs the cooperation of those near us for it to succeed, and that isn’t forthcoming, we can alter our plans. We can find a way to move forward alone, and we can still succeed.

Complications often come when we’re trying to make a change in our lives. But complications are just unexpected developments. We are certainly capable of figuring out how to navigate anything that comes our way, and if our goal is important to us we will find a way around any complication. If we want something badly enough we can achieve it even without the support of those around us. Someone else’s opinion of what we’re doing is just that – their opinion. And their opinion belongs to them. We can let them own that, and continue on our course.  We can listen to their comments and if we don’t agree, we can graciously decline their advice and do what’s most important to us.

Today if you really want to make a change in your life, and there’s something you want to do, carefully weigh your options. If you can move forward and feel it’s best to proceed, begin today. If you feel you must wait until things change, make a plan for when you will start. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You’re in charge of your life and are capable of making excellent decisions. You know what you want and you know how to get it. Make a plan and make the best choices for success.

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