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Dropped the Ball

17 Mar

We all generally try to do our best every day. We try to make good decisions, try to be nice to those around us, and basically strive to be good people. But sometimes things get away from us and we fumble the ball. Maybe we get carried away in conversation and forget a commitment, say something we don’t really mean, or take revenge on someone we feel has hurt us in some way. When we act in ways that are beneath what we really want for ourselves we may feel really bad later, and if we let those we care about down, the disappointment in their eyes can be crushing. But we’re only human and we’re going to falter from time to time. Perfection is after all the goal and not the achievement. And so when we stumble and do the wrong thing, we have to find a way to make things right again. We have to listen when those we’ve negatively impacted tell us how they feel, and we have to take our lumps because we’ve earned them. It’s normal to make mistakes from time to time. It doesn’t mean we’re bad people, it doesn’t mean we don’t care, and it doesn’t mean we aren’t worthwhile. It just means we dropped the ball. And if we did, we can pick it right back up again.

Personal shame is a horrible feeling. Shame may be one of the most destructive emotions we can feel. It can not only make us feel bad about something we’ve done, if we aren’t careful, it can make us feel bad about who we are. If we feel great shame, depression may soon follow. We may believe that we’ll never get things right, that we’ll always screw up, and that we aren’t worth anything to anyone. But none of that is true. Just because we make a mistake doesn’t mean we never do things right. We often get it right and we are worth more than we can even imagine, even when we falter. If we play a game and drop the ball we may get a penalty, but we aren’t banned from the game forever more. It’s the same in life. If we go the wrong way, we aren’t finished. We just need to turn around and correct our course.

The penalties we face when we make mistakes should be commensurate with the negative impact they cause. Just like in law, the penalty should fit the crime. The same is true with our personal lives. If we forget to bake a promised batch of cookies, it shouldn’t destroy a relationship. But if we lie, cheat, and manipulate others, that might be the cost. It’s like a pendulum – it should swing equally in both directions. That’s important to remember when someone we care about lets us down. If we can keep our perspective when we tell them how we feel and don’t return more chastening than is needed, we have a better chance of preserving our relationships. We all make mistakes and sometimes we hurt others because of them. But nobody really wants to do things wrong and when we do, we deserve the opportunity to make things right again. Our relationships are important. Truly valuing them will help us heal and forgive as we move along.

Today if you’ve dropped the ball and someone has been hurt, you can pick it back up again. Offer to make things right and do everything you can to correct your course. If someone has made a mistake that has hurt you, remember when you’ve faltered and offer the chance for them to fix things. You can be kind and understanding. Extend your hand to turn things around and forgive. You’ll be able to make things better and you’ll be happier because of it.

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Consequences

16 Mar

Everything we do in our lives affects us in some way. If we make a small decision, the impact of that choice is usually small as well. For instance, if we choose French fries over onion rings neither choice will greatly impact our lives, and our decision is inconsequential. But when we’re making big decisions the consequences can be far reaching. If we are deciding which car to buy, which job to take, whom to date, or whether to move or not, the ramifications of our decision can have long lasting effects on our lives. Big decisions take thought and time to evaluate. We always want to make the choices we’ll be happy with that bring us the desired results. But sometimes, we don’t know how far reaching a decision will become until after we’ve made it. There are times when we decide something quickly because it doesn’t seem that important and then it impacts us in ways we couldn’t possibly have foreseen. We may shake our heads and wring our hands, and wish we could go back knowing what we know now. But the only thing we can do is press forward and resolve whatever has been impacted by the choice we made.

We make decisions based on the information we have at the time.  Sometimes we have all the facts, and sometimes there is no way to know everything.  If we’re trying to decide whether to take a new job or not, we may research the company, and talk to employees who work there.  We may evaluate the position and then if everything looks good, accept the job.  But we may discover despite all our research once we’re in the job it’s far too stressful and a terrible fit for us.  We did our homework but all the facts weren’t clearly available.  Even if we do everything we can, and pay attention, there are times when it’s impossible to know every result before we decide.  If it doesn’t turn out the way we hoped and the consequences are beyond what we want to manage, we will have to make another decision to move forward.  The best we can do is choose wisely from where we are.

If we do all we can to make a good decision and it doesn’t work out we are not at fault.  We can only see what we can see.  Sometimes things go awry and the best we can do if that happens is consider all our options going forward, and choose as wisely as possible.  It’s impossible to know everything, we can’t read the future, and there will always be unknown factors.  But if we take our time and consider everything possible before we choose, we’ll have the best chance of getting to the destination we’re seeking.  We are completely capable of making good choices that will take us where we want to go.  Nothing in this life is permanent and we can change any situation we’re in.  If the consequences of our decision are not what we hoped for, we can correct our course going forward.

Today if you’ve made a decision that didn’t work out and you’re in an uncomfortable situation because of it, you can change things.  You are capable of making excellent decisions and you will find your way through.  You are intelligent and wise.  Turn your course to reflect that.

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Strong as Steel

15 Mar

When things are going well and we feel confident, life seems easy and we can face whatever comes. We feel strong and capable, and aware of our many abilities. People seem friendlier and our lives are comfortable and easy. Unfortunately, those times don’t last forever and eventually something goes wrong. If something goes very wrong and we are knocked down, in our sudden despair we may think we can’t manage things. We may forget how capable we are. When we think of steel we think of how hard and strong it is. But it doesn’t start out that way. It starts with rock that is ground and crushed, and then it’s heated to temperatures near 3000 degrees. There are several steps before the raw ore becomes the finished metal we’re familiar with, and each step is crucial. At the end, because of all the grinding and heating and tempering, we end up with something that is very strong and very hard. In our lives we will face challenges and trials, and as we navigate them, we go through a refining process as well. Each challenge we overcome makes us stronger and more resilient. Nobody wants to go through hard times, but just like making steel, the crushing disappointments, and heat of distress make us strong. With each trial, we burn off more behaviors that hold us back and we get closer to where we want to be. It isn’t comfortable to struggle but as we become stronger the trials become easier. We can be as strong as steel but we have to go through the fire to get there.

When things go wrong we have choices to make. Some people refuse to see problems in their lives. They ignore them, look the other way, talk around them, and don’t acknowledge them. They may hope the problem will work itself out, and some problems actually do. But generally when something needs to be addressed and we ignore it, it simply lies dormant waiting for us. Most problems don’t just go away on their own. If we don’t have the courage to face them when they appear, they will wait until we do. They will cling to us and hold us back from moving forward. Pretending they don’t exist doesn’t help. It’s like pretending the sun isn’t in the sky when it’s shining down on us.

It’s best to face our trials when they arrive, look at them, figure out what to do, and solve them. If they are complex and we can’t solve them today, we can take the first step in resolving them. There isn’t anything we can’t figure out and if we need to we can take the issue apart a little at a time until we’ve found all the answers. If we don’t hide from it, if we look at everything objectively, and we start moving forward through the problem we will solve it. And then we can shake it off and continue on. When we solve our problems we leave them behind. We don’t have to carry them or waste precious energy ignoring them. We can be strong as steel in our lives if we face things head on and endure whatever discomfort we must to get through. We can do anything. We aren’t going to face anything that is too difficult or too hard for us to overcome. We have everything we need right now to face whatever comes.

Today if you feel overwhelmed by an issue pressing on you, and you don’t want to face it, look at it completely. You are intelligent and capable and no matter what the problem is, you will solve it. You have everything you need to find the answers and move forward. You are strong and capable. There isn’t anything that will overcome you. You’re like steel and nothing will break you. You have everything you need. Go forward. The answers are there.

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Outside Ourselves

14 Mar

Sometimes things go wrong, our life gets turned upside down, and we become stressed.  Maybe there’s too much going on we need to address, or the plans we made fell through and we’re struggling to find our way. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes the road gets rocky. We may feel overwhelmed, lost, scared, or exhausted as we try to navigate the situation, and the last thing we want is to face anything else. It may seem strange but the best thing to do at times like these is to reach outside ourselves and offer help to someone else. It’s virtually impossible to think about our problems when we’re doing something for others. We can’t be focused on what’s going wrong in our lives when we’re trying to help make something right for someone else. Taking the time to serve removes us from the things that are holding us down, and brings us comfort and peace. We can return to our issues later and they’ll still be there. But often if we take time out to serve, when we return to our problems they don’t seem quite so looming or difficult, and we find we can manage them a bit better.

It’s not possible to intensely ponder two situations at once. We can only carefully think about one at a time. If we’re stressed about something and turn our attention to someone else, they become our focus. It doesn’t matter what we do to serve, and there are limitless ways we can help out. For instance, imagine a friend needed food but had no way to get to the store and we offered to take them – it would be a great blessing. Personal service need not be extremely time consuming or difficult. We can do whatever is needed. And if we help, the other person isn’t the only one who benefits. We also receive blessings as we take a break from obsessing over our problems. It’s a win for both.

When we’re under water with an issue that’s concerning us, the last thing we want is more to do. We’re already busy and we have a lot on our minds. We may not think offering help to someone else will bring us respite, but that’s often what happens.  Serving others isn’t just another chore to accomplish. When we serve, we focus on something else, get closer to those around us, and build relationships. As we build friendships we learn more about ourselves. Those we help will trust us and feel our care. We all need each other. We’re connected to one another in ways we can’t always see.  When we’re wrapped up in our own lives we may forget that. Opening the door to service helps us remember. Nobody knows what the future will bring and life changes constantly. It’s possible that although we’re serving today, it may happen in the future that we’ll be the ones in need, and someone will help us.  It’s give and take each day of our lives.  The more we give, the more blessings we’ll take away.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with issues that are concerning and you feel stressed, look around and see where you can help someone else. Take a break from your pressures to serve. You’ll be amazed at how good you’ll feel and how refreshed you’ll be when you return. There isn’t anything you can’t handle. You have so much to offer. Offer it today.

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Directors

11 Mar

As we go through our lives we make millions of decisions. If those decisions don’t take us where we want to go, we may be unhappy. We may complain about our lot in life and think it’s unfair. We might say we should have gotten this or that, and we’re unhappy with our relationships, or family, or jobs.  We may say we never got the chance to do the things we wanted. However, we choose the direction of our lives and each choice we make takes us somewhere. If we aren’t going where we want to go we’re the only ones who can change it. We have the option to change anything at any time. If we’re unhappy we can change to find happiness. If we’re in a difficult relationship and feel uncomfortable, we can leave. If we’re unfulfilled in our jobs, we can find better ones. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, if we aren’t happy, we can chart a new course. There are a lot of reasons why we continue in situations that aren’t beneficial to us. If we’re unhappy and do nothing, we will continue to be unhappy.  But if we want to change, we can.  The choice is always ours. In the end, the choices we make give us the life we want most because it’s the life we’ve chosen.

Life can be complicated.  There’s a lot going on all the time.  Our relationships are important and we can get caught up in situations other people choose for us even if we don’t want them ourselves. We may feel we need to go along to keep the peace, or maybe it’s just easier. If we do that, we may end up living a life that isn’t genuinely ours but a reflection of what someone else thinks it should be. Our lives belong to us and every day is precious. What we do with our days is important. If we go along and make choices because we feel pressure or want to please someone else, we give away the chance to be ourselves. We are all unique and possess specific gifts for the world. If we keep those inside and only share what we’re told we should, or what’s expected, the world will miss the great blessings we have to offer. Nobody can give the world our gifts but us. We will always be at our best when we are uniquely and perfectly ourselves.

When movies are made, directors tell the actors what to do and how to do it in order for the desired message to be communicated. If we allow others to director our lives, we communicate the message they have to tell, not our own. But our messages are important and they are valuable. The way we see the world is different than anyone else. We don’t need a director to tell us what to do. We already know what we want to do. If we allow ourselves to make the choices we really want to make, we’ll be happy. We have all the courage we need to take control or our lives, and all the wisdom we need to find our way. In the end, we will surely end up with the lives we choose, good or bad. We make our own destiny. We can determine to make it happy, and uniquely ours. If we do, every day will bring us new promise, and our futures will bring us joy.

Today if you haven’t been living the life you really want, or if you dream of things being different, you can change. You can live your life any way you want to. You can do anything. You have everything you need to be happy and fulfilled. You know what you want. Point your eyes in the direction that will take you there. Choose your own path and determine your destiny. You have everything you need to get

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