Archive | Uncategorized RSS feed for this section

For Real

3 Mar

When we have a goal and are eager to accomplish it, we want to get started right away and move forward quickly. We might set a time line to motivate us going forward or determine smaller intermediate goals to achieve as we move along. Steps like these help us keep our eyes on the destination and refine our focus. But sometimes in our eagerness to get the job done we set a time line that is unreasonable or intermediate goals that are too big to achieve quickly. Because we’ve set expectations that are beyond what we can successfully accomplish, odds are we’ll fail trying to reach them. Unrealistic goals can undermine our confidence very quickly. But we can re-think our plan and create another that is more workable. Life isn’t a contest. We don’t have to get everything done today or tomorrow, and there is no need to push ourselves beyond our abilities. Success comes most easily when we plan our course realistically and reasonably. Others may tell us we can do things faster, and we may think we should be able to, but if we’re wise, we’ll plan a way we can manage well, and not get overwhelmed.

We can do anything we want to do, but if we plan to accomplish it in ways that are too difficult to achieve, or too fast to succeed, failure will be the likely result. For instance, if we determine we’re too sedentary and want to get fit, we may decide to join a gym. If we’re very motivated we may determine that we’ll go to the gym every single day and work out for two hours. We want to get fit quickly and this seems like a good idea – at first. But then we start out and it’s harder than we thought to change our personal schedule to accommodate two hours every day, and two hours of exercise is far harder than we thought it would be. After a few days we quickly see our plan is too ambitious and we quit. Because we expected too much too quickly we found failure instead of success. This is a common scenario. We’ve all done it in one way or another. The best we can do when we want to change something or achieve anything is to think clearly and honestly about our capabilities and our expectations. We can and should push ourselves to achieve, but we must find balance if we want to succeed.

It seems everyone has an idea of what we should do with our lives. Some think we should do one thing, others think we should do something entirely different. If we listen to everyone’s opinion it can be confusing, but we determine how we’ll live our lives. We’re responsible for every success. We know our desires and our limitations better than anyone else. If we take the time to think about what we really want to achieve, and then realistically make a plan to obtain it, we can succeed. There is no race. There is no time limit. We don’t have to do it all in one day. We can do it the way that works best for us. Every step we take closer to the goal teaches us something new. We can adjust as we move along. We can change our plans if need be, and we can overcome every obstacle. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We know who we are and we are smart enough to create the best plan going forward.

Today if you’ve been trying to accomplish something and you keep stumbling, perhaps you need a more realistic approach. Think about your time constraints, consider your physical abilities, and modify your plan going forward so you can succeed. You have everything you need. Take it one step at a time and you’ll get there.

Tags: , ,

Apply Here

2 Mar

There is a lot to learn in life.  We never stop learning new things and when we’re challenged by something new, it may be hard at first to completely understand it.  Learning new skills, whether they are life skills, survival skills, job skills, or others, takes our attention and focus.  But learning a new skill isn’t enough.  After we’ve figured it out, if we want it to become part of who we are going forward, we have to apply it in some way.  We can learn all kinds of new things but until we actually use them we won’t know exactly how they work.  This is clear when we’re studying math.  We learn a new theorem or formula and we understand the process of using it, but in order to fully grasp how it works, we actually have to practice using it to solve problems.  It’s the same with any skill.  What looks easy on paper isn’t always easy to implement in real life.  But with time and effort we can learn new things and apply them in our lives.

Healthy relationships don’t just happen.  We meet someone, we like them, maybe we fall in love with them, and in the bliss of infatuation think everything will go smoothly from there.  But life is complicated and things happen that make seemingly easy situations more difficult.  Even if we know what we should do to navigate them to preserve a happy relationship, putting what we know into action and applying the information isn’t always as simple as it may seem.  There are feelings to consider – something that can never be predicted exactly – and other peoples’ perceptions and decisions may enter in.  If we want to navigate the issue well, we have to take our time and think before we act.  We all want easy, perfect relationships, but unfortunately when dealing with others it’s not always easy, and perfection is something we continually strive for but rarely see.

We are capable of learning new things and new ways to handle anything that comes to us.  Something that worked in the past may not work in the future, and if we want to be successful we need to be open to learning new ideas and then applying them in our lives.  All the knowledge in the world means nothing if it’s never actually applied and experienced.  If we are open to learning new things, accepting different ways of looking at situations, and willing to work on what we’re learning and use it in our lives we will find more success and more happiness.  Life is constantly changing.  Our problems and challenges today will be different tomorrow.  We can stay ahead of the curve and manage everything if we are aware and willing to learn.  We can do anything we want to do.  None of us is frozen in time.  We can change, we can grow, we can learn, and we can be successful in all our endeavors.  There isn’t anything that is too difficult for us to accomplish once we’ve decided we will do it.

Today if you’re in situation that has you confused and you aren’t sure what to do, stop for a moment and look at things objectively.  You have all the skills you need to face anything that comes to you.  Draw on your life experience and apply everything you’ve learned so far.  You can figure out any puzzle.  You are capable and strong, and can manage anything that comes to you.  Start thinking.  The answers are already there.

Tags: , ,

Intentions

1 Mar

There are a lot of things we all want to do in our lives. We accomplish some of them, we plan for some of them, and we let some of them go as we change. Sometimes we intend to do certain things but for reasons we didn’t plan on, can’t explain, or don’t want to explore we don’t do them. They say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Good intentions are things we plan to do that will benefit us or others in some way. There is nothing wrong with having good intentions, and when we say we’ll do something most of the time we sincerely intend to do it. But there are times when because of pressure from others, or situations we aren’t quite ready to face, we might agree to something or promise something we know we’ll never actually do. Perhaps we agree because something important depends on it and we don’t want to lose that, or it will get everyone to stop asking. Or maybe we go along because it’s important to someone we love, and although we really have no intention of following through, it will buy us the time we think we need to get what we want. The road to hell is what we end up on when we continually break our word, and don’t follow through on what we’ve said we’d do. Others stop trusting us, and we lose credibility with those we care most about. If we continue doing this, we may even lose our relationships with them.

What we say is important. It gives others a view of who we could be but not necessarily who we are. Who we really are isn’t what we say, but what we actually do. Talking only goes so far and doesn’t make anything happen. If all we do is talk about what we want, and how we feel, but do nothing, and make promises we never intend to keep, eventually nobody will believe anything we say. All the beautiful words in the world don’t mean anything unless we follow them up with action. If we say we love someone but do nothing to show that love, never see them, don’t spend time with them, and are never available for them, all our professions of love, no matter how tender and beautiful, mean nothing. Our actions tell the real truth.

There are a lot of reasons why we sometimes say things and don’t follow through. Our lives are complicated, our relationships can be complicated too, and if we feel pressure to be a certain way or do certain things, even if we don’t want to, we may agree. But
when we say we’ll do something and then don’t do it, we are responsible for that decision. It may be easier to go along in the beginning, but it makes us dishonest with those around us in the end. We need to be honest in all our decisions, and we have sufficient courage to do that. We are entitled to our personal choices even if they are different than what those close to us want us to do. Our lives belong to us and we own every decision we make. We can do things our way with confidence and we can honestly say no when we need to. We can choose to live our lives with integrity and truth. When we do, we’ll step off the road to hell and onto the road to happiness. And being on the road to happiness is the best place to be.

Today if you’ve been saying you’ll do something to keep the peace or get what you want, but have no intention of following through, choose to be honest. Clear the deception and be truthful about what you want and what you’ll do. You have everything you need to be the best you can be. Today choose well. You’ll feel better and those around you will appreciate your integrity.

Tags: , ,

Hiding Places

29 Feb

Life is full of challenges. We face some sort of challenge every day and sometimes they are difficult for us to manage. If they seem too hard we might decide that instead of facing them we’ll hide. There are limitless places to hide if we want to. If we have a relationship issue we don’t want to face, we can hide by working long hours so we’re unavailable to talk about it. If we don’t want to see someone, we may hide by creating unexpected complications that prevent us from meeting them.  We can hide in limitless ways when we don’t want to face something. But if we want to be the best we can be we have to be willing to face whatever comes to us. We are capable of managing anything we encounter but we may forget that if we’re threatened or afraid of the outcome.  But hiding never works. All it does is delay the inevitable, and trying to hide indefinitely is exhausting. The best we can do when things get difficult is determine to face them head on, no matter what comes. We’ll have to confront our problems at some point. It’s best to do it when they first appear because aren’t going away until we solve them. We are wise enough, brave enough, and smart enough to face whatever the issue is, and find an acceptable resolution.

Truth is truth and no matter what we do, it will always surface. Looking the other way or pretending it doesn’t exist changes nothing. Hiding from the truth only prevents us from moving forward. If we aren’t moving forward, we’re either standing still or going backward – neither of which will take us to our goals. When things go wrong, or we’re facing developments that are difficult, the only way to get through them is to face them squarely, figure them out, resolve them, and move on. It may be painful, but we are capable of managing pain. It might be complicated, but we’re smart enough to figure anything out, and it might take some time, but as we process the problem we’re moving forward through it. We can handle whatever it takes.

Nothing stays the same in life. Whatever we’re going through today will be different tomorrow. We can’t control the things that come to us but if we proactively face our problems and find workable solutions to them, we can move through them. Once we’ve solved them, we can let them go, and move forward. If we hide and obsess over them instead of facing them, we force ourselves to carry them longer than we must. Carrying problems around instead of solving them gets us nowhere, and can have a negative impact on our ability to be happy. We all deserve to be happy. By courageously facing our problems, and determining the wisest path going forward, we can solve them, and find our peace again. Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves. Refusing to hide even when things get hard allows us to return to happiness as quickly as possible.

Today if you’ve been hiding from something that has been difficult for you, do what you must to take the first step in solving the issue. There isn’t anything you can’t manage. You are strong enough and smart enough to face anything. Face the problem and solve it. Your happiness will return and you’ll feel more confident going forward. You can do anything. Today do your best to move forward.

Tags: , ,

One Word One Thought

27 Feb

Nobody’s life is perfect and sometimes things go wrong for all of us. When it’s very disappointing or upsetting, we may get angry. If that happens we don’t always keep the anger to ourselves and unfortunately instead let others share it. Perhaps we use offensive words to express how we feel that aren’t part of our every day speech. Or we snap at others who may or may not have had anything to do with our problem. We’re only human and there are times when we aren’t at our best. It happens. If others experience our outburst they may decide out of frustration to return it for one of their own, and then the whole thing can get out of hand. Once things have escalated it’s hard to rein them back in. Feelings can get hurt, and relationships can be bruised. After we’ve ended our furious outburst, and we’ve settled back down, we’ll have to apology for the damage we’ve done, and try to make things right.

Anger can be a very destructive emotion. We all feel it from time to time, but the way we express it is different for everyone. When we’re children we may cry or scream, or kick our feet and stomp off, but as we become adults we must find other ways to deal with it. Some people point their anger inward and manifest specific behaviors to cope. Perhaps they overeat, or can’t sleep, or they close themselves off and hide until they feel better. Compromising ourselves to keep anger hidden away doesn’t help us deal with it, and sometimes the behaviors we embrace while we’re coping make the situation worse in the end. Others of us express our anger outwardly. We take it out on those around us spreading collateral damage everywhere we turn. We say things we don’t mean, and lash out at whomever comes close. Unfortunately those behaviors can damage our relationships and if they are chronic, can ruin them. Learning to deal effectively with anger takes time and practice. It doesn’t just happen the first time we get mad. We have to learn how to control our responses in ways that help us resolve our anger, instead of making it worse.

If someone near us is angry and acting out, instead of jumping into the fray, we can instead offer a word of encouragement. If we do, the anger may lose its impact and suddenly emotions may turn. It’s said that a kind word can turn away wrath – and it’s true. If someone near us is angry and acting out, one kind word from us may change everything. It doesn’t take a lot of effort but it does take self control and thought. We are capable of both. If we’re the angry one lashing out at those around us, we can stop for just a moment, take a breath, and think of one good thing. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, like world peace, it can be something small. Perhaps we had a delicious muffin for breakfast, or the sun is shining, or we really like the color of the shirt we’re wearing. If we can focus on one good thought for just a moment, everything can change. We can put things back into perspective and more effectively navigate our way through. A kind word, or a positive thought are powerful and can help us through difficult situations. Our relationships and interactions are important. When things go wrong, we can do something to preserve them. We can exercise self control and keep the situation for becoming destructive. One kind word or one good thought may be all it takes.

Today if you’re angry about something you can’t accept, stop for a moment and think about one good thing that’s happening right now. There is always something and when you find it, focus on it for a moment. You’ll feel better and you’ll see things more clearly. If someone near you is angry and lashing out, offer a kind word of encouragement to let them know you care. We are all capable of more than we realize. We can do anything. We can do our part to bring harmony back into our lives when trouble is at the door.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →