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Not This Again

27 Apr

We learn a lot as we go through our lives. Each day brings opportunities to learn new things, develop new skills and new behaviors. Sometimes trials come upon us and we try to overcome them, or solve them, or just try to get through them. But we all have lessons to learn. If we learn what is needed to get through a situation, we can move forward. No matter what problems come upon us, they aren’t permanent and will eventually go away again. However, if we didn’t learn anything from the experience, and only endured it until it changed, odds are good we’ll get to go through it again. Life has a way of looping our problems back around when we don’t figure out how to solve them.  If we never change our patterns or response to an issue, it may become a recurring nightmare. Given that, it’s in our best interest to try and not only endure our problems, but take the time to figure out why we have them, and then do what is needed to solve them once and for all.

Practice is the key to proficiency in most cases. When we’re learning a new skill the more we do it, the better we get at it. Repetition helps us remember how things are done and effectively teaches us new patterns. But repetition in our problems isn’t always pro-active. Having the same problem over and over doesn’t make us better people. It doesn’t make us proficient at anything but going through the same thing again and again. If we find ourselves in a familiar situation that is unpleasant and difficult to manage, the familiarity is our clue that we have something to learn. If we look at the situation objectively we can identify what we need to do to prevent it from returning.  Identifying the underlying issue is just the first step though. After we see what needs to change to prevent the same problem from recurring, we must adopt the change to end it. Just understanding what causes the situation is never enough. If we want to stop repeating the same behaviors, we actually have to stop repeating the same behaviors.

We are in charge of our lives. Sometimes the difficult issues we face over and over again come to us because of our associations with others. Perhaps they aren’t the best influence in our lives, maybe they have personal issues that impact us, or maybe they exercise authority over us in unproductive ways. If contact with them brings us hardship we may choose to distance ourselves from them or eliminate our interactions altogether. If the relationship is important to us, or has been in our lives for a long time, that decision may be difficult. We don’t want to hurt others but it’s important to recognize when our relationships are hurting us. If they are, we can modify them so we can move forward. We know what we need better than anyone else. If we need a change, we can make it. We are completely capable of managing our lives in positive and beneficial ways that bring us happiness and peace.

Today if you’re facing the same problem you’ve faced before and want to move forward, look at the situation clearly and see what you need to do to change. You can make any change you need to be happy. You are capable of understanding what needs to be done. Learn everything you can this time around and solve the problem once and for all. Look ahead and see where you want to be. And then, do what it takes to get there.

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Happy or Sad

26 Apr

We go through a lot of things in this life. Sometimes all runs smoothly and we feel happy and content. Other times things go wrong and we’re stressed and unsettled. There is no way to predict what each day will bring and even if we try our hardest to ensure things go well, sometimes there’s a ringer we didn’t plan on and we fall flat. We can’t control a lot of what comes to us but we can control how we react to it. If we’ve had a disappointment it may impact how we feel and what we do. But we can control our behavior and our attitude can affect how we see things and how we go forward. If we want to fall into despair and believe that things will never be right again, we can. Or we can see our disappointments, no matter how great they are, as passages leading to something new. We may not feel content, and we may be unsure, but we can still find joy no matter what we’re going through. If we want to, we can choose to be happy despite any disappointment. Happiness doesn’t just come to us. It’s often a choice we make. No matter what comes we’ll handle it, and as we do, we can find comfort. Since there isn’t anything we can’t manage, we can go forward with confidence and grace, and we can do it with joy.

This life has a lot of ups and downs. Situations and other people affect our lives continually. Those influences can be both a benefit and a detriment. When things go wrong and we’re struggling it can be hard to find joy. But we can be genuine in our disappointment and still look forward with confidence. We can go through hard times, face them head on, and find peace knowing we’re doing the best we can. No matter how difficult the trial, no matter how upset or sad we are or how disappointed we feel, we can still decide to find happiness going forward. No problem is permanent and everything shakes out eventually. We may end up on a completely different road than we thought we were headed for, but that just means the journey has taken a turn. It isn’t over, and we’ve only modified our direction. The twists and turns in our lives take us to new places we may never have dreamed of and wherever they take us we will find our way.

We are often more capable than we think we are. There really isn’t anything we can’t do. When we face difficult trials and serious disappointments, we have the resources within us to manage them. At first we may not believe we can get through but as time passes we’ll see we are coping and moving forward. If we focus on the goal instead of the journey, and the destination instead of the rocky road we’re on, we will get through more easily. And if we determine to find happiness in each day no matter what comes, the journey will be brighter and easier to navigate. Happy or sad, it’s often up to us. Our shoulders are strong enough to bear whatever burdens come. And the sun will continue to shine. If we focus on our strength instead of the heavy load we’re carrying, we will find joy and comfort.

Today if you’re feeling sad or disappointed, if the road seems impossible to navigate, look up. You’ve come so far already and there isn’t anything you can’t do. You have more blessings than you can count. Think about those and focus on the road ahead. Take control. There isn’t anything you can’t do, and you can do it with joy.

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City Hall

25 Apr

There are times in our lives when things don’t go like we want them to.  Sometimes it’s because we haven’t accomplished something, sometimes it’s because someone else is involved, and sometimes it’s for reasons we can’t figure out.  When we want to do anything, often there are a lot of parameters that must come into play and be considered.  If it’s possible to get everything lined up and ready, we can succeed, but there are times we can’t control what’s going on.  There are situations that block us no matter what we do, and things just won’t work.  Even if we know what needs to occur to fix the situation, we may be powerless to make that happen.  It’s very frustrating to want something badly and face a road block so wide and high we can’t get over it.  If the goal is good and we’re motivated, it’s very disappointing when we can’t make it happen.  But if there is no way forward we have to make a new plan.  There is an old saying, “You can’t fight city hall,” meaning sometimes there is no way to succeed where we are.  We know we can do anything we set our minds to but sometimes we may have to change our course and go the long way around to get there.

Planning for success is important.  We can set a goal, look at what’s needed and make the best plan to achieve it.  We can start out and begin moving closer to the goal and with each step learn something new.  If we’re on our own and the achievement depends only on what we do, it’s just a matter of persistence.  But few situations in our lives only touch us.  Most of the time other people and other parameters will have some influence over what we’re trying to do.  We can sometimes work around them, but not always.  If the goal is something we really want, a road block on the path we’ve chosen doesn’t mean we have to give it up.  It just means it’s time to look for an alternate route.  There are limitless ways to accomplish anything.  If we are motivated to continue forward, we can find the road that will take us there.

There may be a thousand reasons why we can’t get to a goal, and we may never know them all.  We can keep trying despite the resistance for as long as we want, and we might make incremental movement.  But if the goal is unattainable right now, we can set it aside and try again later.  We can accomplish other things and return to it.  When we do, we will have more experiences from which to draw, more information to use going forward, and more keys to open the lock.  Sometimes it’s all about timing and what is out of reach today may be within our grasp tomorrow.  We don’t have to give up on a goal we can’t get to today.  We can continue on with our lives and revisit it when things are different.

Today if you’ve been striving for something you really want to accomplish and it’s still out of reach, perhaps set it aside for a time.  Move forward in other ways and try again later.  You can return to anything at any time.   You have everything you need to accomplish anything you choose.  Work with where you are and continue to grow.  Soon you’ll have the right key and the door will open for you.

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Stop Signs

22 Apr

When we’re out driving around we sometimes we come upon stop signs.  When we reach one, no matter how much of a hurry we’re in or how empty the road ahead appears, we need to stop.  We don’t have to stop for long but we have to stop completely.  If we don’t think anyone is looking and we don’t see other cars around, if we’re in a rush we might just drive through.  Unfortunately we can’t see everything and if a police officer sees us disregard the sign, or an unexpected car is suddenly in front of us, our delay working out the complications may take a lot longer than if we had only stopped to begin with.  Stop signs are important and although we need to stop when we come upon them, we don’t have to stop forever.  It’s for just a moment and then we can proceed forward.  Sometimes in our lives we reach situations that cause us to stop.  They might be unexpected developments or disappointments, changes in our plans, or events that stop us in our tracks.  If they are far reaching, when we stop for them we might feel we can’t go forward again.  But no matter what stops us, even if it’s extreme, it’s not permanent.  We can take time to adjust to the situation, review our options, and find the way forward.

When we’re going through our days and getting things done, we don’t want anything to prevent our progress.  We know what we need to do and want to complete it with the least resistance possible.  But we don’t live on the earth alone and are subject to all kinds of outside forces all the time.  Other people’s decisions may impact us, unforeseen developments may arise, and even the weather can stop us in our tracks.  We can’t predict anything and when complications arise that prevent us from going forward we have no choice but to stop.  But just like stop signs, it’s not a permanent stop.  We can come up with a new plan, find a new path, and continue on.

If we’re stopped by a situation that is completely unexpected and disappointing, after we stop we might feel stuck.  We may be hurt, or confused by something that’s happened, or our plans may have gone up in smoke.  If those plans were very important to us, it can be hard to overcome the disappointment when they are no longer viable.  If we think the original plan is absolutely the only way forward, we might come to a full stop and have no idea what to do.  But there is no one way to do anything.  There are always options and if we allow ourselves to explore all possibilities, we will find an alternate way forward.  Nothing in this life is permanent.  Everything changes every day.  Even if what we really want is no longer possible, we can adjust and find another way forward.  Our lives are important and we can manage anything that comes to us, even stop signs.  There is nothing strong enough to hold us in place forever.  We have the power to keep moving and choose another road.

Today if something has caused you to stop moving forward as planned, take a moment to think about your options.  There are lots of other roads right in front of you and you can make them yours.  You already know where you want to go.  Choose another path and start again.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  You will find success on any road you choose.

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Losing Ourselves

21 Apr

Hard times come to us all. Sometimes we get so caught up in what’s going wrong in our lives we can’t see anything else. We can only focus on the problems we’re facing. We may feel beset, overwhelmed and quite miserable. It can seem that everywhere we look there is nothing but bad news. It’s like being in a fog of unhappiness and it’s hard to find a way out. But there are things we can do to find peace even when things are going wrong. One way to get out from under the trial is to reach out and help someone else. We may think we can’t possibly help anyone else when our lives are a mess, but doing things for others allows us to take our eyes off our own problems for a while. When we’re helping someone else there isn’t time to think about ourselves. We can get lost in service, and when we do we find respite. It seems counter intuitive to try to give when we feel like we’re going under but if we do we will be lifted and our burdens, no matter what they are, will feel lighter.

We all have so many blessings. Even in our darkest moments we have much for which to be thankful. Maybe we don’t live in a mansion, but we have a safe place to sleep. Maybe we don’t wear designer clothes, but we are warm and dry. Maybe we don’t have money in the bank, but we have enough for our needs. We take a lot for granted and forget how much we really have. Even in our darkest hours we have things for which to be grateful. And often we have more than many others. If we can remember that and share what we have, even when we’re struggling, we will find peace and comfort. It’s impossible to focus on what’s going wrong in our lives when we’re trying to help someone else with something they need. Seeing another person’s problems and helping them find comfort brings comfort to us as well.

When things go wrong and the bottom falls out, when we lose our footing and think we’ll never survive, all is not lost. No matter what we go through in life, we will find a way through. There will always be someone with more troubles and fewer blessings than us. If we reach out and extend ourselves to help, to serve in some way, and to share what we have, we will forget our sorrows and find joy. When we’re focused on someone else, we can’t focus on what’s going wrong for us. We will lose ourselves and our troubles for a moment and reach a little higher. We’ll find comfort and confidence as we remember the blessings we have, and see how we’re bringing joy to others by helping. We have so much to offer. Troubles will come and there will be hard times. But we can navigate them and find solace by helping those around us, and remembering who we are.

Today if you feel overwhelmed by things that are going wrong, and surrounded by trouble, look around and see where you could help. Extend yourself and do something for someone else. You will forget your problems for a moment and the service will bring you joy. When you return to the issues that are pressing, you’ll be rejuvenated and stronger. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Lose yourself helping someone else. Your problems will seem to diminish, and you’ll be comforted and happier.

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