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Not This Again

27 Apr

We learn a lot as we go through our lives. Each day brings opportunities to learn new things, develop new skills and new behaviors. Sometimes trials come upon us and we try to overcome them, or solve them, or just try to get through them. But we all have lessons to learn. If we learn what is needed to get through a situation, we can move forward. No matter what problems come upon us, they aren’t permanent and will eventually go away again. However, if we didn’t learn anything from the experience, and only endured it until it changed, odds are good we’ll get to go through it again. Life has a way of looping our problems back around when we don’t figure out how to solve them.  If we never change our patterns or response to an issue, it may become a recurring nightmare. Given that, it’s in our best interest to try and not only endure our problems, but take the time to figure out why we have them, and then do what is needed to solve them once and for all.

Practice is the key to proficiency in most cases. When we’re learning a new skill the more we do it, the better we get at it. Repetition helps us remember how things are done and effectively teaches us new patterns. But repetition in our problems isn’t always pro-active. Having the same problem over and over doesn’t make us better people. It doesn’t make us proficient at anything but going through the same thing again and again. If we find ourselves in a familiar situation that is unpleasant and difficult to manage, the familiarity is our clue that we have something to learn. If we look at the situation objectively we can identify what we need to do to prevent it from returning.  Identifying the underlying issue is just the first step though. After we see what needs to change to prevent the same problem from recurring, we must adopt the change to end it. Just understanding what causes the situation is never enough. If we want to stop repeating the same behaviors, we actually have to stop repeating the same behaviors.

We are in charge of our lives. Sometimes the difficult issues we face over and over again come to us because of our associations with others. Perhaps they aren’t the best influence in our lives, maybe they have personal issues that impact us, or maybe they exercise authority over us in unproductive ways. If contact with them brings us hardship we may choose to distance ourselves from them or eliminate our interactions altogether. If the relationship is important to us, or has been in our lives for a long time, that decision may be difficult. We don’t want to hurt others but it’s important to recognize when our relationships are hurting us. If they are, we can modify them so we can move forward. We know what we need better than anyone else. If we need a change, we can make it. We are completely capable of managing our lives in positive and beneficial ways that bring us happiness and peace.

Today if you’re facing the same problem you’ve faced before and want to move forward, look at the situation clearly and see what you need to do to change. You can make any change you need to be happy. You are capable of understanding what needs to be done. Learn everything you can this time around and solve the problem once and for all. Look ahead and see where you want to be. And then, do what it takes to get there.

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