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Heads or Tails

30 Jan

We have a lot of choices in life and make millions of decisions as we go along. What will we wear, what will we eat, where will we go, who will we see, what will we do, the list is endless. Sometimes the decisions we make are important and the way we choose alters our lives in one way or another. If we choose badly when there’s a lot at stake, we can lose a lot. If we choose well, we gain. But sometimes there is no one right answer. All the options are possible and appropriate. If all the roads we can take are good, how do we choose between one or another? It seems strange but at times like that, when every possibility is workable, those decisions can be the hardest to make. It’s like flipping a coin. There is no right side to the coin when we choose. It just depends on how it lands. If we’re considering which road to take and they all look good, perhaps it won’t matter which one we choose. But every road has an end, and every choice takes us somewhere. If we can determine exactly where we’ll be be at the end of the road, we will choose more effectively.

Ice cream comes in many flavors, and if we like ice cream, we probably like a lot of them. Chocolate is rich and deep, strawberry is light and fresh, butter pecan is creamy and incredible, mocha is amazing, and all the others have wonderful qualities as well. If we go to a shop with dozens of flavors, it’s hard to choose. It doesn’t really matter which one we pick because they’re all good. When we’re facing a decision with lots of possibilities, and they all look good at first, we can take some time to evaluate all the parameters of each choice, and we’ll be able to narrow the field. Then we can choose what most fits what we want to achieve. If it’s a decision we can only make once, we’ll have to weigh all the options more carefully. If it’s something we can change after we’ve started, and the first choice doesn’t work out, we can stop at any time and choose another road.

Our lives have no “re-do” option, like games we played as children. Once we do something, it’s done. It will always be done, and nothing we do can undo it. We can’t go back and edit or delete anything. It will stand as it happened until the end of time. That’s great if we always make the right choice. But mistakes happen and if we aren’t happy with a choice we’ve made, although we can’t go back and make it again, we can modify our lives, turn our course, and change direction. There are few things in our lives that can’t be adjusted or corrected. We can’t change what’s been done, but we can change ourselves, and where we’re headed going forward. We are in control of our lives and every decision we make. If we aren’t happy, we can do what is needed to change things. If we aren’t where we want to be, we can alter our course to another direction. There isn’t anything we can’t do. Making decisions will help us find our way. Making them well, will take us where we want to go.

Today if you’re unsure about a decision you need to make, and all the options look good, take a closer look. You’ll notice differences and find the one that fits the best. You already know where you want to go and what you want to do. Choose the choice that takes you there. You can do anything you want. You are perfectly capable of making excellent choices. Today you will do just that.

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Taking Chances

25 Jan

There are limitless choices we can make every day.  We can play it safe and do what is expected, or we can try something new.  We can take a chance on a different experience and stretch our wings a little.  If we want to we can take big chances and really push ourselves.  We could try base jumping, or ice climbing, or sky diving, or we can be a little more cautious and just do something small.  Some people are fearless and will try just about anything, and others of us take a more reserved stance.  If we’re fearless, trying new things may be a common experience, but if we’re more reserved we may struggle to step out of our comfort zones.  This life is all about learning.  Every day we get the chance to learn many new things and if we choose to we can take advantage of those opportunities and embellish our lives.  Taking a chance will open new doors for us, and take us to places we haven’t seen before but we have to be willing to take the first step to get there.  If we are, the world becomes our oyster and we can feast on many new experiences.

Playing it safe and sticking to what we know brings comfort for many of us.  We may not want to venture too far from home plate and risk not making it back.  But we can’t prevent what comes to us whether we take a chance or not, and control is just an illusion.  We can do everything possible to stay within the lines and still face complications.  There is no such thing as perfect safety.  We live in a world with many other people, all of whom are making decisions all the time.  Some of those decisions will impact us no matter what we do.  Unless we isolate ourselves in some sort of fortress and never venture out, it’s probable that the unexpected will come.  And when it does, we will manage it.  There isn’t anything that will happen that we can’t manage.  That being true, stepping out a little and taking a chance on something new is always possible.

When we open the door to new experiences, we discover hidden talents within ourselves.  Our routines only stretch us so far.  If we really want to know what we can do, we need to break the mold.  There is no way to know what we can accomplish unless we try.  We all have skills that lie dormant because our current lifestyles don’t require them.  If we change things up, we have the opportunity to awaken them and learn more about ourselves.  We are complex and capable people.  We can do anything we want to do.  Stepping out, stretching, trying new things, and taking a chance will open our lives up to experiences that will enrich us, and deepen our understanding of our world.  We only get one time around in this life.  If we make the most of it, and try many new things we’ll be more fulfilled and happier with our experience here.

Today if you’re thinking about taking a chance on something new, go for it.  You won’t know what you can do until you begin.  There really is nothing too difficult or complicated for you to try.  Get the most out of your life and stretch your wings.  You may be surprised at how quickly you learn to fly.

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Saying No

20 Jan

There are times when we are asked to do things we can’t accomplish or don’t feel comfortable with. Perhaps we don’t have the time to do what is being asked, or the request is something we don’t want to be involved in. And sometimes, what we’re being asked to do is something we simply can’t do because we don’t have the skills needed to accomplish it. When someone we love asks us for something and we feel we can’t comply, it may be difficult to say no. We want to help and we want to be supportive. But if we can’t do it, it’s worse to say we will and then disappoint others because we failed than it is to simply say no at the beginning. Saying no is more difficult for some of us than it is for others. We might feel that being cooperative is imperative in our relationships and saying no will damage them. But if the relationship is healthy and there is mutual respect, declining a request will not hurt. We can feel empowered to make the best choices for ourselves, even if they aren’t the choices others would have us make. We know what’s best for us and we are entitled to have it.

When we decline a request, in their disappointment others may employ guilt to try and make us change our minds. Guilt is very powerful and if we aren’t careful, it can undermine our decisions. But guilt is a self inflicted emotion. Nobody can make us feel it. People can say things to try and inflict it upon us, and do things to encourage us to change our minds. But if we’ve made a decision that’s best for us, we need not allow guilt to enter in. There is no reason to feel guilty for making a good choice. Good choices are the best we can do, and feeling guilty for making them isn’t necessary. If we remember that and focus on going forward truthfully and with a genuine spirit, we’ll make the best decisions possible.

Sometimes we may be asked to do things that make us very uncomfortable. For instance, being asked to lie for someone else, or manipulate situations to help another get the upper hand, or cheat to help a friend – all may make us uneasy. If we go along and compromise our values to please someone else, we may hurt ourselves in the long run. Happiness comes from being true to who we are no matter what situation we’re in. However, if the person asking intently pleads with us, it may be difficult to make the best choice. At times like those, it’s helpful to step back and see the situation objectively. We already know what the best answer is, and stepping back just a little will help us find the wisdom and courage to make it. We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to do. It doesn’t matter who is asking us or what the parameters of the situation are. If we aren’t comfortable we can say no and move on. We can always make the best choices going forward.

Today if you’re being pressured to do something you don’t feel good about, you can say no. You are entitled to make your own decisions. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks you should do, you can do what is best for you. You know what you need to do and you know the right road going forward. Choose that and you’ll always be headed in the right direction.

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I Wish

13 Jan

We have so many decisions to make in our lives.  They come at us from all directions at all times and in all ways.  There are the simple ones we make without even thinking about them and then there are the ones that leave us tremulous and worried.  We all want to make good decisions, and mostly we do, but sometimes because we don’t have all the information, or someone has deceived us, or things change unexpectedly, the decisions we make end up badly.  When that happens we may have regrets and wish things had gone differently.  Unfortunately it’s impossible to know everything or what’s coming.  We have to choose from where we are and see things as they seem at that moment.  When we look back and regret a choice we made and wish things had gone differently, we must remember that we may not have known then what we know now.  It’s hard when things go south and we get hurt because of a choice we’ve made, but nothing is certain in this life and sometimes we don’t have all the facts available to us.  No matter what’s happened, we can only go forward from where we are.  Learning from the past will help us choose more wisely the next time, but the decisions that have been made will remain forever.

We all have some regrets.  It’s impossible to live our lives perfectly and make the absolute correct decision every single time.  Sometimes things will go wrong.  And sometimes it’ll be because of something we chose.  Nobody makes decisions that bring them pain and heartache on purpose.  We do the best we can where we are.  If we take the time to see the whole picture, and ponder the ramifications of our decisions we have a better chance of things going well.  When they go well, we often don’t even think twice and just proceed on with our lives.  But when there’s a sudden stop, when something we’ve decided causes problems, our attention is clearly focused on the situation.  We may question our decision, we may regret our choice, and we may obsess over what we think we should have done, but nothing can change what’s happened.  The best we can do is move forward and amend the situation the best we can.

If our decisions are highly influenced by those around us, we may be heavily impacted.  We may doubt our ability to make good decisions without their input and if we get bad advice, we may choose a path that doesn’t work.  But we don’t need to rely on others to make good choices.  We have everything we need inside ourselves to choose well.  We can look at any situation objectively, weigh our options and if we want advice we can ask for it, but in the end we can make the best decision ourselves.  Wishing and hoping for things to go well will not ensure a good outcome.  Only by taking the time we need to evaluate the situation and see all the possible outcomes can we make the best choices possible.  Then if things go wrong we will be confident that we did the best we could.  And that confidence will carry us through until the situation improves.

Today if you’re concerned about a decision you’ve made, if you have some regret over the choice involved, remember you made the decision with all the facts you had at the time.  If things don’t go as planned, you can adjust your focus and alter your plans going forward.  Setbacks teach us how to go forward.  Be confident.  You are capable of making excellent decisions and you can choose wisely.

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Yes You Can

9 Jan

Hard times come to us all. We can try to do everything right, we can try to make the best decisions, and we can try to choose wisely, but no matter what we do, things will go wrong from time to time. Sometimes they are minor adjustments in our path, simple annoyances that keep us on our toes for a while and then fade away. But other times, we may have to face very difficult circumstances where everything we thought was real is questionable, and all the security we thought we had seems to disappear. Often we have no warning that the bottom is about to fall out of our lives, and when it comes we can be stunned and frozen, unable to figure out what to do or how to get through. It’s hard to face really difficult times and our pain, worry or sorrow as we navigate them may be intense. It’s like the whole world has suddenly changed and we are in a foreign and sometimes frightening place. It takes courage to face the days, and temerity to keep going forward.

When very hard times come upon us, we may feel overwhelmed, and confused, or if it’s bad enough, we may even feel destroyed. For a time we might think we can’t get through and the situation will ruin us forever. But no matter what comes, even the worst possible scenario, we can face it and we can figure it out. It sometimes just comes down to deciding not to quit. We may not know exactly how we’re going to find our way, we may have no idea how to fix the problem and we may feel completely lost, but if we simply decide we aren’t going to quit, we will eventually succeed. Surrender is never an option if we want to be in control of our lives. We can’t prevent what comes to us, or what goes wrong, but we can control what we do. We can make any decision we want to and even in the face of disaster we can decide not to quit. We can determine to keep pushing forward and working the problem until we find our way out again.

If we find ourselves in a terrible situation that has been caused by someone else in our lives, and we’ve been desperately hurt, our relationship will certainly be affected. If it’s someone close to us, and someone we love, it will take time to decide how to go forward with or without them, and recover. We can’t control what anyone else does, and when their decisions hurt us, it has an impact on our feelings for them. If the relationship is very important to us, we may find a way to continue to be part of it, but if the damage is great, it will sometimes sever all connections between us and them. There is only so much damage any relationship can handle before it breaks. It’s devastating to lose someone close to us because of a bad decision, but sometimes that happens. We must do what is best for us and what enables us to go forward successfully. Sometimes that means changing those we share our lives with. If that happens we may grieve for some time, but eventually we’ll find our footing again and if enough time passes and we choose to, we could try to reestablish the relationship again later.

Today if you’re facing a serious setback, if your world has been rocked by something extremely difficult and you feel lost, you can manage it. You are strong enough to face whatever comes to you and you will find your way. Hang onto your courage, hold on tight, and keep going forward. Nothing lasts forever. You just need to face this moment. Tomorrow things will be better. You are brave enough to manage whatever comes today. Trust yourself. You have everything you need to succeed.

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