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Turbulence

11 Apr

When we’re traveling by air and take a seat on an airplane, we hope for a safe flight that is smooth and without complications. We want to get to our destination without undue stress or unnecessary excitement. Generally that’s what happens. We fly from place to place without incident or worry. But sometimes because of weather conditions we have turbulence. When that happens, the pilot puts the seat belt sign on and we’re asked to stay in our seats. If there is only minor turbulence most travelers endure the small bumps without concern. But if there is a ferocious storm or high winds, things may get intense as the plane is bounced around, and sometimes falls for what seems like forever before correcting. When that happens, turbulence is a completely different experience. Although air travel is by far the safest mode of transportation, it can be unnerving and frightening to sit belted in during severe turbulence. Although we may feel confident that everything will be fine, we may also feel worry and fear. We can have turbulence in our personal lives as well.  Everyone wants their lives to go along smoothly, and we don’t want difficult times to come upon us.  However, chances are they probably will, and things will get bumpy.  We may feel concerned and unsure.  But just like being on a plane, we can buckle in, sit tight, and get through.

No matter how pro-active we are, no matter how we prepare and plan, sometimes things go awry. There are a lot of people in our lives and they often impact what happens to us either purposefully for inadvertently. There is an old saying that if you want to see God laugh, make plans. It can feel that way sometimes. But all we can do is make the best decisions possible and hope things work out the way we want them to. When they don’t, we have to find another way. There are endless opportunities to change our minds and there is never just one way to do things. If we’re facing a storm, and the plane starts to fall a little, we can regroup and correct our course.

Because this life is all about our relationships with others and a lot of what we do depends on their decisions, there will be times when we’ll be hurt. It’s not possible to live our entire lives without being hurt from time to time. If the pain is extensive and we feel devastated, it can be like trying to navigate through strong winds in a horrible storm. We may slip, we might fall, it may be difficult to see the road ahead, and we might think we can’t survive. But there isn’t anything too hard for us to overcome. There is no storm so powerful that it will leave us hopeless. We can find a seat belt by focusing on our abilities, and we can sit tight as we figure out what to do next. We don’t have to go into the storm alone either. We can get help from those we trust and we can find our way. Turbulence isn’t pleasant. It’s upsetting when things get tossed around and we lose our footing. But no storm lasts forever, and no wind can blow without stopping. We have everything we need to make it through.

Today if things are bumpy and you’re unsure, and if there are problems that are making it hard to navigate, hang on. This is just turbulence. Sit tight and take your time. You have everything you need to find solid ground again and there are clear skies ahead. Keep your focus and trust your instincts. You will make it to the other side and find your way. You are stronger and smarter than you realize.

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No End

23 Mar

There are times in all of our lives when something terrible happens and we don’t think we can survive it. It may be the sudden death of a loved one, a crushing professional disappointment, the betrayal of someone close, or other things that are extremely hard to face. Nobody has a blissful, perfect life all the time. Things go wrong and sometimes they go very wrong. When we’re in the throes of these experiences we may feel so overwhelmed we can’t see the end. We can’t imagine how to navigate the situation and we may feel sure it will overcome us. But then a day goes by and we are still here. And then another day goes by, and then another. And as time passes and we find our way through each moment, we get a little stronger, and a little braver. There isn’t anything we can’t face. Even if we are convinced we can’t face it, we can. We are far more resilient than we believe we are, and as strong as we need to be. We don’t have to see the end at the beginning. All we need to do is get through today. We might have to take it one breath at a time, but we will take it, and we will manage. Each moment that passes moves us along a little bit. And bit by bit we will overcome.

There may be times when our decisions bring the walls crashing down around us and if that’s the case, we can accept our role in the disaster. We can learn from it and take all the lessons forward with us. We learn by doing and sometimes that means making mistakes. Even if they hurt deeply, mistakes teach us important lessons. We know more after than we knew before. It’s impossible to go through life without doing some things wrong. This life is all about learning, and even when it hurts, it’s important. We don’t know everything and even if we try to do everything right we’re going to stumble from time to time. We can take ownership of our actions, look at the situation clearly, learn all we can, do what is needed to make things right, and forgive ourselves. The road is long and there is time to correct our course.

If we’ve suffered a terrible blow because of decisions made by others, we may be devastated. Serious hurt takes time to heal. We have to take it as it comes but eventually it will ease and we’ll move forward. We may carry a scar with us, but a scar is just a reminder of where we’ve been, and not an indicator of where we’re going. Day by day, step by step we’ll find happiness again. There are a lot of ups and downs in life. The hard times hurt but they give us a deeper appreciation for the times when things go well. Joy is the absence of sorrow, but to feel true joy, we have to feel true sorrow. Painful days hurt but they carry blessings with them. As we navigate them, those blessings will become part of who we are.  Each blessing takes us closer to the person we most want to be.

Today if you’re going through a difficult time and feel overwhelmed, hang on. You really do have everything you need to succeed. There is nothing too difficult for you. Take it one step at a time. You have so much going for you. You can manage anything. Happiness is just outside the door. Open it. It’s waiting for you.

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Dropped the Ball

17 Mar

We all generally try to do our best every day. We try to make good decisions, try to be nice to those around us, and basically strive to be good people. But sometimes things get away from us and we fumble the ball. Maybe we get carried away in conversation and forget a commitment, say something we don’t really mean, or take revenge on someone we feel has hurt us in some way. When we act in ways that are beneath what we really want for ourselves we may feel really bad later, and if we let those we care about down, the disappointment in their eyes can be crushing. But we’re only human and we’re going to falter from time to time. Perfection is after all the goal and not the achievement. And so when we stumble and do the wrong thing, we have to find a way to make things right again. We have to listen when those we’ve negatively impacted tell us how they feel, and we have to take our lumps because we’ve earned them. It’s normal to make mistakes from time to time. It doesn’t mean we’re bad people, it doesn’t mean we don’t care, and it doesn’t mean we aren’t worthwhile. It just means we dropped the ball. And if we did, we can pick it right back up again.

Personal shame is a horrible feeling. Shame may be one of the most destructive emotions we can feel. It can not only make us feel bad about something we’ve done, if we aren’t careful, it can make us feel bad about who we are. If we feel great shame, depression may soon follow. We may believe that we’ll never get things right, that we’ll always screw up, and that we aren’t worth anything to anyone. But none of that is true. Just because we make a mistake doesn’t mean we never do things right. We often get it right and we are worth more than we can even imagine, even when we falter. If we play a game and drop the ball we may get a penalty, but we aren’t banned from the game forever more. It’s the same in life. If we go the wrong way, we aren’t finished. We just need to turn around and correct our course.

The penalties we face when we make mistakes should be commensurate with the negative impact they cause. Just like in law, the penalty should fit the crime. The same is true with our personal lives. If we forget to bake a promised batch of cookies, it shouldn’t destroy a relationship. But if we lie, cheat, and manipulate others, that might be the cost. It’s like a pendulum – it should swing equally in both directions. That’s important to remember when someone we care about lets us down. If we can keep our perspective when we tell them how we feel and don’t return more chastening than is needed, we have a better chance of preserving our relationships. We all make mistakes and sometimes we hurt others because of them. But nobody really wants to do things wrong and when we do, we deserve the opportunity to make things right again. Our relationships are important. Truly valuing them will help us heal and forgive as we move along.

Today if you’ve dropped the ball and someone has been hurt, you can pick it back up again. Offer to make things right and do everything you can to correct your course. If someone has made a mistake that has hurt you, remember when you’ve faltered and offer the chance for them to fix things. You can be kind and understanding. Extend your hand to turn things around and forgive. You’ll be able to make things better and you’ll be happier because of it.

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Strong as Steel

15 Mar

When things are going well and we feel confident, life seems easy and we can face whatever comes. We feel strong and capable, and aware of our many abilities. People seem friendlier and our lives are comfortable and easy. Unfortunately, those times don’t last forever and eventually something goes wrong. If something goes very wrong and we are knocked down, in our sudden despair we may think we can’t manage things. We may forget how capable we are. When we think of steel we think of how hard and strong it is. But it doesn’t start out that way. It starts with rock that is ground and crushed, and then it’s heated to temperatures near 3000 degrees. There are several steps before the raw ore becomes the finished metal we’re familiar with, and each step is crucial. At the end, because of all the grinding and heating and tempering, we end up with something that is very strong and very hard. In our lives we will face challenges and trials, and as we navigate them, we go through a refining process as well. Each challenge we overcome makes us stronger and more resilient. Nobody wants to go through hard times, but just like making steel, the crushing disappointments, and heat of distress make us strong. With each trial, we burn off more behaviors that hold us back and we get closer to where we want to be. It isn’t comfortable to struggle but as we become stronger the trials become easier. We can be as strong as steel but we have to go through the fire to get there.

When things go wrong we have choices to make. Some people refuse to see problems in their lives. They ignore them, look the other way, talk around them, and don’t acknowledge them. They may hope the problem will work itself out, and some problems actually do. But generally when something needs to be addressed and we ignore it, it simply lies dormant waiting for us. Most problems don’t just go away on their own. If we don’t have the courage to face them when they appear, they will wait until we do. They will cling to us and hold us back from moving forward. Pretending they don’t exist doesn’t help. It’s like pretending the sun isn’t in the sky when it’s shining down on us.

It’s best to face our trials when they arrive, look at them, figure out what to do, and solve them. If they are complex and we can’t solve them today, we can take the first step in resolving them. There isn’t anything we can’t figure out and if we need to we can take the issue apart a little at a time until we’ve found all the answers. If we don’t hide from it, if we look at everything objectively, and we start moving forward through the problem we will solve it. And then we can shake it off and continue on. When we solve our problems we leave them behind. We don’t have to carry them or waste precious energy ignoring them. We can be strong as steel in our lives if we face things head on and endure whatever discomfort we must to get through. We can do anything. We aren’t going to face anything that is too difficult or too hard for us to overcome. We have everything we need right now to face whatever comes.

Today if you feel overwhelmed by an issue pressing on you, and you don’t want to face it, look at it completely. You are intelligent and capable and no matter what the problem is, you will solve it. You have everything you need to find the answers and move forward. You are strong and capable. There isn’t anything that will overcome you. You’re like steel and nothing will break you. You have everything you need. Go forward. The answers are there.

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Real Life

9 Mar

We live in a real world and it’s not difficult to see and navigate the material things around us.  But we also live in a world with other people we interact with on a daily basis.  They make decisions about what they will do and say to us.  Sometimes they talk to us in truth and other times may say something entirely different.  If we are honest it may be hard to believe that those near us could tell us things that aren’t true.  We all want truth in our lives, but sometimes we may believe in fiction.  It could be a lie that someone we love is telling us because they don’t want to hurt us with the truth, or want us to believe it in order to get something from us.  Maybe we pretend that something is real that isn’t, because facing it as it is, is hard and painful.  Deception and lies, pretending and looking the other way complicate us and make even simple decisions difficult.  We deserve to be happy and live as peacefully as possible.  That can only happen if we’re willing to see and accept things as they really are.  Truth is truth and will always surface.  There is no way to hide from it forever and the best we can do is face it.

If we want we can live our entire lives in the land of fiction, making up stories about what we’re doing, and what’s happening.  We can believe in people that lie to us even when we have the truth staring us in the face.  We might tell ourselves it’s better not to rock the boat and face the truth, but that just prolongs the inevitable.  The problem with fiction is it can’t stand up over time.  There is no way to live a lie forever.  Running from the truth, hiding from it, dodging it, ignoring it, or in any way trying to avoid it, is exhausting.  No matter how difficult it is to face, it’s easier in the end than living a life on the run.  Pretending is just another word for acting, and if we’re acting out our lives instead of really living them, we can’t be who we really are.  It’s best to accept things truthfully, face them head on, and shake away the clouds of deception.  Only then can we live our lives honestly and with clarity.

Sometimes we believe a lie because we really want the story to be true.  If we love someone and they continually tell us things we want to hear, we may go along even if we know it isn’t real.  Personal desires can be very strong and we may believe the story will eventually come true.  But we can’t read the future, and all we can really count on is what is real today.  They say the best predictor of the future is the past, and that’s often true.  If someone has lied to us in the past there’s a good chance they will continue to follow the same path.  Of course, people can change and turn things around, but putting our lives on hold and pretending will not make that happen.  We can only control our own decisions, and choose to move forward with our own lives.  We deserve to make all our dreams come true.  We can do that if we live in the real world and not the land of fiction.

Today if you’ve been hoping for something to be true that hasn’t happened, remember you are worth the best of everything.  You deserve everything you are seeking.  Choose to move forward.  You are in control of your happiness.  Facing truth will help you find it.  You can make all your dreams come true by living in the real world and you have the courage and wisdom to do that.

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