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Intentions

1 Mar

There are a lot of things we all want to do in our lives. We accomplish some of them, we plan for some of them, and we let some of them go as we change. Sometimes we intend to do certain things but for reasons we didn’t plan on, can’t explain, or don’t want to explore we don’t do them. They say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Good intentions are things we plan to do that will benefit us or others in some way. There is nothing wrong with having good intentions, and when we say we’ll do something most of the time we sincerely intend to do it. But there are times when because of pressure from others, or situations we aren’t quite ready to face, we might agree to something or promise something we know we’ll never actually do. Perhaps we agree because something important depends on it and we don’t want to lose that, or it will get everyone to stop asking. Or maybe we go along because it’s important to someone we love, and although we really have no intention of following through, it will buy us the time we think we need to get what we want. The road to hell is what we end up on when we continually break our word, and don’t follow through on what we’ve said we’d do. Others stop trusting us, and we lose credibility with those we care most about. If we continue doing this, we may even lose our relationships with them.

What we say is important. It gives others a view of who we could be but not necessarily who we are. Who we really are isn’t what we say, but what we actually do. Talking only goes so far and doesn’t make anything happen. If all we do is talk about what we want, and how we feel, but do nothing, and make promises we never intend to keep, eventually nobody will believe anything we say. All the beautiful words in the world don’t mean anything unless we follow them up with action. If we say we love someone but do nothing to show that love, never see them, don’t spend time with them, and are never available for them, all our professions of love, no matter how tender and beautiful, mean nothing. Our actions tell the real truth.

There are a lot of reasons why we sometimes say things and don’t follow through. Our lives are complicated, our relationships can be complicated too, and if we feel pressure to be a certain way or do certain things, even if we don’t want to, we may agree. But
when we say we’ll do something and then don’t do it, we are responsible for that decision. It may be easier to go along in the beginning, but it makes us dishonest with those around us in the end. We need to be honest in all our decisions, and we have sufficient courage to do that. We are entitled to our personal choices even if they are different than what those close to us want us to do. Our lives belong to us and we own every decision we make. We can do things our way with confidence and we can honestly say no when we need to. We can choose to live our lives with integrity and truth. When we do, we’ll step off the road to hell and onto the road to happiness. And being on the road to happiness is the best place to be.

Today if you’ve been saying you’ll do something to keep the peace or get what you want, but have no intention of following through, choose to be honest. Clear the deception and be truthful about what you want and what you’ll do. You have everything you need to be the best you can be. Today choose well. You’ll feel better and those around you will appreciate your integrity.

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Poison Ivy

24 Feb

There are a lot of nice people in the world. People who care, who are kind, and who share their lives with us in positive and helpful ways. But unfortunately, there are also people who choose a different path. There are some who are mean, cruel, even criminal, and if they come into our lives, they can have a very negative impact. We don’t always know their true colors at the beginning which leaves us open for disaster. It’s like taking a walk in the woods and not knowing what poison ivy looks like. We see a vine that’s green and vibrant, and have no idea when we touch it that its powerful affects will cause us pain and discomfort. It’s only after our exposure that we see the terrible result. If someone in our lives presents themselves as caring and kind but in truth is manipulative and cruel, and we share our lives with them, when we discover the truth we will be hurt. If it’s someone we must interact with because of circumstances beyond our control, and we are forced to see them because they are family members, coworkers, or neighbors, the discomfort may be intense. When someone hurts us because they’ve fooled us, lied to us, or manipulated us, it takes time to heal. If we have to continue to see them, it takes even longer.

Life is all about learning. We don’t know what we don’t know, and the only way to find out what we don’t know is to learn as we go. That means we may trust someone who is untrustworthy because we don’t have all the facts. People who set their hearts on deception don’t tell us before they deceive that is their plan. They keep it secret and if they are very practiced, may expertly manipulate us to achieve their goal, whatever that may be. We may figure the truth out quickly, or we may be involved with them for years before we see things as they really are. But sooner or later, when we find the truth it may be devastating. We may feel like fools. We may blame ourselves thinking we should have known and feel horrible. But the blame for deception lies solely with the deceiver. We have no ownership for their behavior. We trusted, which is noble and good, and extended ourselves as friends. It can be hard to forgive ourselves when we’ve fallen for a lie, but believing in others until we have a reason not to, is appropriate.

When we are trying hard to be the best we can, it’s difficult to understand someone who chooses to deceive or hurt us purposely. It’s hard to comprehend such maliciousness but we are not responsible for anyone’s choices but our own. We can decide how to respond. We can choose to be noble even if someone near us has been hateful. We can choose to stand up for what’s right, even if we’ve been stung by what is wrong. If we must interact with them going forward, we can still be our best. We are courageous and brave enough to be near them and choose the right. We can set the example for good even in the face of trouble. We are stronger than we think we are. We know what is right, and nothing, and nobody, can ever diminish that.

Today if you’ve been hurt by someone who purposely deceived you or manipulated you to get something they wanted, it isn’t your fault. You know more now than you did before, and that knowledge will help you going forward. You are worth the very best of everything. You can choose the right and take the higher road at every step. There is an old saying that the best revenge is living well. No matter what has happened, no matter who has hurt you, live well. You know who you are. Choose the very best path. There is nothing that will diminish you.

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I Think I Can

22 Feb

In all our lives, there are times when we want to try something new, stretch, and reach for a goal that is beyond where we are. We think about it, we wonder about it, and sometimes it haunts us when we want to do it but haven’t started because we aren’t sure we can. If we want it badly enough, at some point we will have to stop ignoring it and start going for it. It might be a professional goal, or an educational goal, or a physical goal, or it might just be a change we want to make in our lives that will take effort. Whatever it is, before we start going forward and doing what is needed to achieve it, we must believe we can do it. It’s easy to talk ourselves out of trying something new. There are countless reasons not to attempt it. It might be hard. We may have to change our schedules. It may be inconvenient. It may take away from our personal time, or it may take a long time to achieve.  There are a thousand reasons that may come forward to discourage us from trying. But if we want to do anything, no matter what it is, we only need one reason to do it – because we want to.  And all we have to do to start is believe that we can.

We can do anything we want to do, but if we share our dreams or goals with others, we may not get positive support for our decision to try. Our friends and family love us and sometimes they think they know what’s best for us. They don’t mean to quash our dreams when we share them, but they may feel they are protecting us because we might fail. And they are right. We might fail. And if we don’t try failure is a certainty. But we won’t know what we can do unless we try. If we try and fail, we will have learned a lot as we’ve moved forward, and we can use that information to try again. If we believe we can succeed, and try our best, there is a high probability that we’ll conquer the challenge and gain the prize. It may not be easy but we are capable of taking on difficult tasks. It might take a lot of time, but the time will go by even if we aren’t striving for what we want. It might mean we have to change our personal schedules but we can handle that. We can manage anything we need to change to accommodate this challenge. We can go forward with confidence and we can succeed.

Our lives are ours to live any way we choose. We can take the easy road and keep things the same and predictable. There is nothing wrong with that if we don’t want to learn anything new and don’t want to grow. But learning is a gift we give to ourselves. It embellishes who we are, and deepens our understanding of life. Personal growth allows us to understand ourselves and those around us more completely. And that understanding goes a long way in helping us navigate the challenges that come to us. If we want to be the very best we can and get everything out of our experience here on earth we have to be willing to push ourselves. We have to believe we can do anything. If we do, we’ll enlarge our capacity for understanding, and stretch our wings to encompass anything we set out to do. They say faith precedes the miracle. We don’t get faith after we’ve succeeded. We must have faith first. We really can do anything we want to do. Anything is possible. We just have to believe.

Today if you’ve been thinking about trying something new and you really want to achieve it, you can. Start moving forward today. The first step is all you need to take. The next will follow and if you have sufficient faith, you will succeed. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Take the first step today. Let your confidence lead you all the way to the finish line.

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Lost at Sea

16 Feb

As we go through our lives we try to do things right. Nobody wants to make a mistake on purpose so at each step we try to make choices that will take us where we want to go. But sometimes along the way we get lost. Maybe we took a turn we thought would lead us somewhere and it took us completely the wrong way. Maybe we got confused about the direction we were headed and fell off a cliff. Getting lost is frustrating and sometimes even frightening. Imagine we are lost at sea in the middle of the day and have no compass or visible landmarks. It’s disorienting and trying to figure out which way to go can be baffling. But getting lost does bring blessings. In the end, it’s all part of finding our way. When we’re trying to accomplish something we’ve never done before or looking for a new destination, getting lost may happen. But it’s not always a bad thing to lose our way and get confused. Sometimes when we’re stuck and nothing is working, we have the chance to clarify exactly what we want, and our true strengths come forward. We never really know who we are until things go wrong. We find out how strong we are when we have to endure, and how smart we are when we make a mistake and have to figure things out. Getting lost is all part of the process of finding ourselves. Nobody gets a paved road in this life. We all have to find our way step by step. And although we want everything to go smoothly, we actually learn more when it doesn’t.

Having an easy life where everything is handed to us seems like a great idea. We wouldn’t have to work hard, we wouldn’t have to struggle finding answers, there would be no confusion, and everything would work out without any effort. But if we didn’t have to work hard, we would never learn to be strong. If we didn’t have to find answers, we wouldn’t learn how to reason. And if we never had to put forth any effort, there would be little value in the things we acquire. When we work hard for something that confounds us and makes us push ourselves, it’s very valuable once we succeed. We know how hard it was to get through and we treasure the outcome. The harder we have to work for something, the more valuable it becomes.  The old saying, “Easy come, easy go,” is true. If we can get something for nothing or little effort, we can easily let it go. It won’t mean much because it didn’t cost us much to gain it.

What we do with our lives matters because what we do makes us who we are. It’s important to decide what we’ll work hard for, what we’ll strive for, and how we determine to succeed. If we want to be capable of greatness we have to be willing to face the possibility of great struggle. If we want to be honorable we have to be willing to make difficult decisions that bring us honor. If we want to be truly honest in all our dealings, we have to be willing to choose the right every time even if it means we lose something else. We can be anything we want to be. If we want to be the very best we can be, we must be willing to do what it takes to get there. That may mean being brave enough to take a new path even if nobody will go with us, and strong enough to believe we’ll succeed even when we get lost. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We are capable of achieving anything is this life. If we are determined there is nothing that will stop us.

Today if you’ve gotten lost trying to find you way, and you’re confused about which way to turn, think about what you really want. Then look around and the way will open up to you. Getting lost isn’t the end of the journey. You have everything you need to succeed and get anywhere you want to be. Correct your course and start again. You will find your way.

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Locked Away

8 Feb

When things go wrong in our lives, and we get hurt, it’s sometimes hard to see past the pain. We may become cautious going forward, fearful of what could happen. Things can always go wrong, but they can go right too. If we’ve been hurt and are afraid we may forget that. Sometimes after a big disappointment we might determine in order to be safe from additional pain, to lock ourselves away. It seems reasonable that if we don’t allow people to get close to us, they can’t hurt us, and we can protect ourselves going forward. The problem with that thinking is our greatest pleasures in this life come from the close relationships we build with others. If we lock ourselves away, we might prevent getting hurt, but we’ll also prevent getting close. In the big overall scheme of things, that’s a huge price to pay for emotional safety. Is it worth it? Only we can answer that, but it seems the price is greater than the reward it offers. There is no doubt that getting hurt is painful, but living a life on the periphery, unable to connect to others is a superficial existence. If we want a deep, rich, experience here, we have to be willing to get close to others, and face the possibility of getting hurt.

There are no guarantees in this life. We can try our best to know those close to us, and understand them, but people don’t always show us everything. Sometimes we may be fooled by someone who has an agenda, or wants to keep secrets. Other times we may be hurt by someone close to us because they don’t tell us the whole story. People are complex and sometimes they aren’t as forthcoming as we would like. Anytime we open our lives, or our hearts to someone else, there is some level of risk. If we’ve taken the time to know them well, that risk may be minimized, but if they are adept at hiding facets of their personality, we may still be surprised. We all have personal choices to make. We can’t control anyone but ourselves and if someone close to us chooses to, they may hurt us. We are strong enough to accept that and still choose to build close relationships.

Having courage to move forward and trust others after a difficult and hurtful experience may take time. We don’t always want to jump back into the pool after finding a shark there. We can take all the time we need to heal, and there is no rush. But if we really want to move forward, we can’t close the door and lock it. We need to leave it open, even if only just a tiny bit. If we are brave enough to think about the possibility of new relationships, we will be open when they arrive. Being open takes courage, especially after a bad experience, but it’s the only real way we can move forward and grow. If we shut ourselves off we will be stuck where the damage was done, and being stuck doesn’t allow us to grow. It might seem wise and safe at the beginning, but it will not bring us happiness in the long run. Just because one person deeply hurt us doesn’t mean everyone will. We can be cautious, and careful, and still let others in, and in time can learn to trust again.

Today if you’ve been hurt badly and don’t want to risk opening up going forward, remember there is no guarantee that the next relationship you build will hurt you. Every relationship is different. Some relationships are wonderful and a great benefit to our lives. It’s not worth missing out on those because of one bad experience. You have a lot to offer and are worth every happiness. Trust yourself. There is a lot of good in the world. And a lot of it is waiting for you.

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