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Returning to the Scene

11 May

In law enforcement when a crime has been committed, often detectives and others looking for the perpetrator will watch the scene of the crime for anyone who looks suspicious.  Often those who commit crimes return to the scene to observe the reactions of people and watch what happens.  In our lives we may never commit crimes, and I hope we don’t, but there may be times when things don’t go quite the way we wanted them to.  There can be a feeling of emptiness as we deal with disappointment and it can sometimes take time to figure out what happened.  If we feel bad, we may decide to revisit the situation to help us understand what went wrong.  That might mean talking to those who were involved to try and gain some clarity.  Or we might just need to think about what happened and try to sort out our feelings.  Life changes every day but sometimes when we aren’t happy it can feel like it’s changing without us.  Returning to the situation where we went off track can help us find our footing again.  If we didn’t understand it all the first time, we may have to return again and again until we figure out how to go forward.  There is no rush and we can take as much time as needed until we’re ready to let it go and move on.

If we suffer a great disappointment and are deeply hurt we might feel stuck in our misery.  The days may seem fuzzy and we may have trouble concentrating.  It’s hard to look ahead when what’s behind us is holding us so tightly.  We may get stalled trying to understand what happened and where to go from here.  Analyzing the situation can help if we can be objective, but like editing, analyzing can become endless.  No matter how we look at the situation we will never be able to change the outcome.  If we’re determined not to look at it, and live in denial we’ll stay stuck until we return and sort it out.  We will ultimately have to accept the changes that have occurred, even if we don’t agree with them, and then chart a course to move forward.  There isn’t anything we can’t manage and whatever comes to us, no matter how heartbreaking or painful, can be put to rest in time.

Walking into the unknown can be unnerving, and trying to find a new road or a new destination may take some time and thought.  There isn’t just one destination for our lives.  We have limitless choices available to us all the time.  If where we thought we were headed is no longer possible, we can choose someplace new.  We can find new ways to live our lives that are rewarding and fulfilling, and we can find happiness even if it’s not the version of happiness we thought we would have.  A great disappointment is hard to bear.  But the lessons learned while navigating through it will strengthen us and make us more confident for the road ahead.  We can do anything and there is nothing too difficult for us to get through.  The road is long and no detour will keep us from traveling forward.

Today if you’ve been shaken by a disappointment and things have not gone the way you hoped, you can find another way to happiness.  There isn’t anything you can’t face and you have all the tools you need to chart a new course.  There are countless roads in front of you. Find the one that takes you where you want to go now.  Make a turn and start moving forward again.  Happiness is there waiting for you.

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Hidden Treasure

4 May

It’s exciting to think about going on a treasure hunt.  If we have a map where “X” marks the spot we could find it and start digging. Or maybe we could go out on the ocean on a big boat and find a sunken ship filled with treasure. Or we could go on a geological expedition and find a diamond in fields of rocks. It’s fun to ponder doing these things but treasures can be hard to find and may take a lot of time and resources. That doesn’t mean they aren’t out there and we can go searching for them.  But there is hidden treasure that’s easier to find. We each have some special treasures deep inside us we keep safe and secure. Sometimes it’s a dream we want to pursue, sometimes it’s a gift we only share with others once in a while, and sometimes it’s something we want to become that we’ve held onto but never begun. There are treasures in all of us and when we’re ready we can bring them out and manifest them in our lives. Until then, they will stay buried, tucked away, and hidden from the world.

As we’re living our lives, we have choices to make. Sometimes we get caught up in a situation, a career, or a pattern we didn’t plan on. If we don’t control where we’re headed, our lives will go wherever circumstances lead us. Even if we want to be in control, sometimes the roads we want to travel aren’t available to us yet. But everything changes as time goes by and opportunities present themselves that enable us to re-evaluate where we are and where we want to go. If we’ve been in the same situation for a long time, even if it’s not what we really want, we may be tempted to continue because we know the road so well. We know what to expect and where we’re headed. But if it’s not the path we want the most, staying the course for convenience won’t bring us true and lasting happiness. We always have the option to change and what we do, and where we go, is up to us.

Our lives are our responsibility. We can live them any way we want to. If we aren’t happy, and if we aren’t fulfilled and we want a change, we can have it. It’s rarely easy to make big changes in our lives, and sometimes it takes a lot of effort to turn our ship, but if we’re correcting our course to where we most want to go, any effort will be worth the cost. If we’re unhappy in our relationships, we can change them. If we don’t like our jobs, we can change those too. If we want to live somewhere new, we can move. And if we want to change something about our personalities, we can. There is nothing out of reach. We all have treasures to offer the world. We don’t have to dig for them. We know exactly what they are and how to reach them.  We don’t have to live lives that prevent us from opening them.  This life is a gift. Living it the way that makes us happiest is the gift we give ourselves.

Today if you want to change your life, if you’re ready to embrace your dreams and bring your treasure out, you can do it. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You can live your life any way you like, go anywhere you want to go, and do anything you want to do. Open the door and take the first step to your perfect life. You deserve everything. And you can have it.

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Fairy Dust

2 May

Facing our lives as they really are is necessary for success.  We have to see everything clearly in order to move forward.  However, sometimes we might decide to look away from reality and prefer a fantasy view of where we are and what we’re going through.  Maybe it’s because we’re facing difficult times that are overwhelming and don’t think we can manage them.  But refusing to see things as they are and choosing make believe doesn’t help us go forward.  The truth of our situations is what is real.  There is no magical fairy dust to make things right.  If we gloss over our problems or pretend they don’t exist it will hurt us in the end.  We are courageous and smart enough to face and overcome anything that comes to us.  Looking away only postpones what we need to do to move forward and holds us in place.

There is nothing wrong with having an active imagination. We can dream about things we want to do, and imagine what our lives would be like if things were different.  Sometimes our time spent dreaming fuels ideas that enable us to create better situations and move toward the goals we’re dreaming about.  We are creative by nature and if we imagine how things could be and really define them, it can motivate us to do what is needed to make them a reality.  There isn’t anything we can’t do and no destination is too far away.  Dreaming of making our goals a reality is fine but dreaming and imagining won’t make them come true.  If we want to change, we must face our lives as they are and then do what is needed to take us where we want to go.

Sometimes we all go through difficult trials and sometimes we suffer as we try to navigate them.  Some things are painful, and can stop us completely as we try to understand and move through them.  Checking out and pretending they don’t exist may bring momentary relief from the situation but it will never help us move through it.  Putting a shine on a problem may make it look better, but it won’t solve it.  If we want to get past something difficult the best thing to do is to march right through it.  We are strong enough to face whatever comes to us and brave enough to deal with any complication.  We can find our way if we look at everything clearly and openly.  We have everything we need to solve any problem.  There is nothing that will conquer us.  We can do whatever we must to move forward.

Today if you feel like hiding out or looking away because a situation you’re facing feels too hard to go through, remember how strong you are.  There isn’t anything that will defeat you.  You can manage anything that comes to you and you will find your way.  You are stronger than you realize.  Look at what’s real and be confident.  You can do anything.

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How Long it Takes

15 Apr

When things go wrong or we suffer a painful loss, it’s sometimes hard to get over. We may grieve for a time, or suffer in other ways, and although we want it to go away, sometimes the healing process takes longer than we want it to. If it’s a serious loss, like a death of someone near us or a painful breakup, it may takes months or years to get through. Even devastating disappointments can take a lot of time for us to process and move forward. When we’ve been hurt badly, the damage can be all encompassing and even debilitating for a time. We might feel we can’t overcome it, and that we’ll never be right again. Grief and healing can’t be rushed. They have their own timetable and even if we think we should be over it, even if our friends and family tell us to get over it, we won’t get through until we’re done processing the loss. How long that takes is how long it takes. If we can’t accept what’s happened and hold on to denial we won’t heal until we can let go. But if we are determined to move forward, and do everything we can to face the change that has come into our lives, we will get through more quickly. There isn’t anything so difficult or painful we can’t manage. We just need to take it one step at a time and continue to take a step forward every day.

Devastating losses, no matter what they are, upset our lives. They impact us in every way. They may affect the way we feel about ourselves and others, or the hope we have for the future, and the trust we have that things will get better. If the pain is deep enough, even our personal faith may be shaken. We may question things we had previously believed were unshakable and find it hard to face another day. Human beings are incredibly resilient but we’re also incredibly fragile. If we suffer pain so great that we are rattled to the core, it will take time to put the pieces back together again. But our resilience is always there. It’s there even when we don’t feel it or can’t see it. It’s like invisible glue always ready to help us put things right again. It may take some time, and it will take determination, but we have everything we need to become whole and strong.

Suffering brings blessings. That can be hard to see when we’re struggling and everything hurts, but even when we aren’t aware of it, we’re growing and getting stronger. The greater the loss, the greater potential for growth. The experience of loss helps us learn how to gain. As we heal, even if we’ve been broken into a million pieces, and it takes all the courage we have to find our way back, at each step we gain strength. If everything was easy all the time we would be shallow and weak. There would be no need to learn and grow, and no need for emotional strength. The blessings of trials are great. If we can remember we’re gaining when we’re trying to recover from loss it will give us the courage we need to keep going forward. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We just have to keep moving forward.

Today if you’ve suffered a painful loss, no matter what’s happened you will manage it. There is nothing so painful that it will overcome you. You are stronger than you know. Flex your muscles, take a breath and move forward. Tomorrow move forward some more. You’ll get through this. And you’ll be stronger on the other side.

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At the Edge

13 Apr

Most of us want to do our best in all our endeavors.  We try to learn the things, and seek the best outcomes for everything we do.  Sometimes something new is intimidating and although we are motivated, we may not be sure we can accomplish it.  If we push forward we may eventually get to a place where the next step is outside our comfort zone and we are at the edge of mastery.  We haven’t stepped over the line yet, but it’s right there.  When we reach those moments we may stop, unsure if we can really manage going forward.  Sometimes if we succeed in taking that next step it will change everything, and even if the change is something we want, we may feel tremulous and nervous about taking it.  When we’re at the edge, at the very end of one thing and the beginning of another, it can be unnerving.  We wonder if we can really do it.  We wonder what will happen if we do.  And what will happen if we don’t.  Every time we change there is uncertainty.  We know where we are now and even if we really want the change, it’s new territory.  But we can do anything we want, and we have the courage to push through any challenge.  When we reach the edge of something new, we can step right over it, and keep going.

There are lot of reasons to keep things the same.  We know what to expect, we know how to manage our regular routine, and we’re comfortable with the way things are.  But reaching out for something new enhances us and makes our lives richer and more meaningful.  We can learn and do things we’ve always thought about trying, and we can succeed.  If we stay in the same routine throughout our lives we miss the chance to see how far we can really go, and what we can do when we put our minds to it.  We are all capable of far more than we think we are.  There really isn’t anything that is too hard or difficult for us to manage if we work at it.  And when we gain new skills, learn new things, and go new places, our confidence rises and we understand more about our lives and ourselves.

Fear is something we all deal with.  For some of us it’s a rare experience, but for others it’s a constant issue.  It can keep us from trying new things and hold us back.  If it’s strong enough it can cripple our lives if we give into it.  Courage isn’t the lack of fear.  Courage is going forward despite it.  New and unfamiliar territory carries with it a level of uncertainty and if we focus on that instead of the goal we’re seeking, we may never take the first step toward changing.  But if we want something new in our lives, we can look beyond the uncertainty and any fear associated with it, and move forward anyway.  We are capable of doing amazing things but first we must believe we can.  If we have faith and take the first step into the unknown it will lead us to the next.  Each step we take will bring us more confidence and the fear will lessen as we get closer to the goal.  We can do anything.  It’s all within our reach.

Today if you’re at the edge of something you want, and aren’t sure about stepping over it, go forward.  You are worth more than you realize and you can do anything.  There isn’t anything too complicated or daunting for you.  Go forward with confidence.  You have everything you need to succeed.

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