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What It’s Not

5 Apr

Change is an inevitable part of life.  Every day we face new things, learn new ways of managing them, and grow a little more.  We can learn by hearing about something but mostly we learn by doing.  If we don’t know how something is done and we have to figure it out, we can jump in and start.  But sometimes in the process we don’t figure things out by seeing what something is.  Sometimes it’s what it’s not that teaches us.  If our first impressions are incorrect we may not realize it until we’ve been in the situation for a while.  For example, we meet someone who is very brusque and seems to be wrapped up in their own world.  We might think they’re rude or arrogant, but then after interacting with them over time we discover they aren’t like that at all.  First impressions are important but they can be wrong.  It’s easy to believe we know the whole situation from the first moment, but that is rarely true.  We learn about things as we go, and sometimes what we thought was real wasn’t real at all.

We can only work with what we know at any given time.  Every day brings opportunities to learn and if we embrace them, we have a better shot of understanding how things really are.  There may be times when we want our world to look a certain way and don’t want to see the truth, and we look the other way.  We can pretend we are different than we really are, or that the situation isn’t the way it seems.  We can create our own little reality that has little truth in it.  If we do, we may be happy for the moment but true and lasting happiness will elude us.  Momentary bliss will never sustain us over time.  Truth has a way of surfacing and no matter how we try to hide from it, will find us in the end.  If we open our eyes and see things as they truly are we may be uncomfortable for a time but living truthfully is the only way to real and lasting happiness.

When we make judgments and later discover we were wrong we may feel disappointment or sorrow when we learn the truth.  If we were wrong about a personal relationship we care a lot about it may hurt deeply.  When people want something badly they sometimes pretend to be whatever it takes to get it.  If the other person was willing to do or say anything to bring us close, and we discover none of it was true it can be heartbreaking.  We could decide to ignore the truth and hope that in time our dreams will become real, but that may only postpone the inevitable.  It’s best to face the truth – whatever it is – as soon as we discover it.  Sometimes things aren’t what they seem.  Sometimes they are very different.  What they really are is what is real.  We can face whatever it is and we can still find happiness.  There isn’t a road too hard for us to travel.  We can face anything and we can find our way again.

Today if you see that things aren’t as you thought, you can turn your course.  The truth is there to show you the way.  There are endless roads in front of you, and you will choose the right one.  You know more now than you did before.  Use that going forward.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  You have everything you need to be happy.

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Dirt Roads

30 Mar

When we travel through rural areas we sometimes need to take dirt roads to get to our destination. Because they are rough and unpaved, they may have potholes, brambles, rocks and other things we have to navigate around. Just being dirt they are subject to damage from wind, rain, or snow, and can become quite pitted and difficult to traverse. After driving on them for a while it’s always nice to get back to pavement and smooth roads again. Pavement isn’t something we generally focus on or give much thought to. We drive around on it, and take it for granted. But pavement is a great blessing. It helps us get to our destinations quickly and safely, and the ride is more enjoyable than it would be without it. When we’re navigating difficult situations in our personal lives and the road is bumpy and hard to get over, we can do things to make it smoother and easier to travel. We do that by seeing things clearly and preparing ourselves for what comes next. We can’t do anything about what has passed, and we’re already in the moment, but we can think about the next best step and prepare ourselves for it. If we take the time to analyze the situation, and make a plan for our next move, it’s like laying down pavement for the road forward. Thinking ahead and preparing our way makes the journey less stressful and helps us move along more quickly.

Nobody can read the future but we can decide where we want our path to go. If we’re in a situation that is difficult and there are others involved it’s important to understand the issues clearly so we know how to move forward. We can listen when they express their ideas, and take time to comprehend their concerns. Then we can look at everything objectively and determine what to do next. Taking the time to look and listen and really see the whole issue will open our eyes to all the possibilities before us. When we see the entire picture we can often see what we need to do to move forward. Once we determine what our next step should be we can put things in motion to make it happen. Success doesn’t usually just happen to us. We need to plan for it. And we can do that by preparing the way forward.

We can pave the road for our personal dreams and aspirations as well. If we want to learn something but haven’t found time to get to it, we can make it a part of our daily schedule and commit to making it a priority. If we want to change something about ourselves but haven’t taken the first step, we can get a coach or involve a trusted friend as a support to help us focus. If we want to do something new and don’t have the skills to make it happen, we can find a teacher who will show us how. There isn’t anything we can’t do. But we must decide what we want, and where we want to go. And then we can start laying down the foundation that will help us get there. Step by step, mile by mile, will take us closer. Every destination is possible. Nothing is out of reach.

Today if you’re navigating a difficult situation take some time to look and listen. See everything as it is and then decide the best way forward. If there is a destination you’ve been wanting to reach but haven’t yet started the journey, plot a course and begin. Pave the way by planning and preparing. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You have everything you need. The road is there waiting for you.

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Hand Off

18 Mar

We all do many things well and some things very well. We can learn new skills and become proficient at anything we like. But sometimes we might find ourselves in over our heads when we’re in a situation that is more difficult than we planned. Maybe we don’t have the experience to manage the issue or we can’t handle the demands it requires. We can’t be good at everything and it’s important to recognize there are times when we need to hand things off to someone else. Letting something go and giving it to someone who is better equipped to handle it doesn’t mean we’ve failed. The most successful people in the world are those who understand they don’t need to know everything, and if they don’t have the skills to manage a project, there is someone who does who can help. It’s wise and appropriate to hand off issues that are more than we’re prepared to take on. This is not the same as abandoning our everyday responsibilities when they get complicated. Those are ours, and we are must manage them. But when we get into situations we don’t have the tools to manage, the best we can do is let someone with the best skill set take over. That way the issue gets attention, we aren’t stressed out of our minds trying to do something we can’t, and we gain the best possible outcome.

Learning to delegate and let others do things instead of trying to manage everything ourselves can be difficult. If we have control issues we may believe we are the only one who can do the job right even when everything indicates that isn’t so. Control issues are a form of selfishness.  If we have to control everything we will inevitably fail at something.  It’s better to trust others more equipped to handle the issues we can’t.  Some people think if they delegate a difficult task to someone else, people will think they’re incompetent or they’ve failed. Opinions vary but we never fail when we recognize our limits and then do what is needed to move forward. We are capable of seeing the situation objectively and making any changes needed to ensure success. The successful resolution of the issue is the goal. If we keep that forefront in our minds it will be easier to delegate when we need to.

It’s foolish to believe we are good at everything. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Recognizing them both and accepting them helps us understand where we are and what we can do best. We can accept our limitations, and do what is needed to work around them. Working with others and combining forces and knowledge makes everything easier. When we do, we can draw on many different strengths instead of just our own. Allowing others to help will move us forward more efficiently. We don’t have to do everything ourselves. We don’t have to be the one and only. We can collaborate and in doing so, we will win.

Today if you’re drowning in a situation above your abilities, reach out and get help. There are a lot of people around you and they all have talents and gifts you don’t possess. Trust them and allow them into the circle. Hand off the issues that are beyond your reach.  You’ll feel better and success will come more easily. Reach out and let others reach back. Together you’ll overcome anything.

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Outside Ourselves

14 Mar

Sometimes things go wrong, our life gets turned upside down, and we become stressed.  Maybe there’s too much going on we need to address, or the plans we made fell through and we’re struggling to find our way. Life isn’t always easy and sometimes the road gets rocky. We may feel overwhelmed, lost, scared, or exhausted as we try to navigate the situation, and the last thing we want is to face anything else. It may seem strange but the best thing to do at times like these is to reach outside ourselves and offer help to someone else. It’s virtually impossible to think about our problems when we’re doing something for others. We can’t be focused on what’s going wrong in our lives when we’re trying to help make something right for someone else. Taking the time to serve removes us from the things that are holding us down, and brings us comfort and peace. We can return to our issues later and they’ll still be there. But often if we take time out to serve, when we return to our problems they don’t seem quite so looming or difficult, and we find we can manage them a bit better.

It’s not possible to intensely ponder two situations at once. We can only carefully think about one at a time. If we’re stressed about something and turn our attention to someone else, they become our focus. It doesn’t matter what we do to serve, and there are limitless ways we can help out. For instance, imagine a friend needed food but had no way to get to the store and we offered to take them – it would be a great blessing. Personal service need not be extremely time consuming or difficult. We can do whatever is needed. And if we help, the other person isn’t the only one who benefits. We also receive blessings as we take a break from obsessing over our problems. It’s a win for both.

When we’re under water with an issue that’s concerning us, the last thing we want is more to do. We’re already busy and we have a lot on our minds. We may not think offering help to someone else will bring us respite, but that’s often what happens.  Serving others isn’t just another chore to accomplish. When we serve, we focus on something else, get closer to those around us, and build relationships. As we build friendships we learn more about ourselves. Those we help will trust us and feel our care. We all need each other. We’re connected to one another in ways we can’t always see.  When we’re wrapped up in our own lives we may forget that. Opening the door to service helps us remember. Nobody knows what the future will bring and life changes constantly. It’s possible that although we’re serving today, it may happen in the future that we’ll be the ones in need, and someone will help us.  It’s give and take each day of our lives.  The more we give, the more blessings we’ll take away.

Today if you’re overwhelmed with issues that are concerning and you feel stressed, look around and see where you can help someone else. Take a break from your pressures to serve. You’ll be amazed at how good you’ll feel and how refreshed you’ll be when you return. There isn’t anything you can’t handle. You have so much to offer. Offer it today.

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Directors

11 Mar

As we go through our lives we make millions of decisions. If those decisions don’t take us where we want to go, we may be unhappy. We may complain about our lot in life and think it’s unfair. We might say we should have gotten this or that, and we’re unhappy with our relationships, or family, or jobs.  We may say we never got the chance to do the things we wanted. However, we choose the direction of our lives and each choice we make takes us somewhere. If we aren’t going where we want to go we’re the only ones who can change it. We have the option to change anything at any time. If we’re unhappy we can change to find happiness. If we’re in a difficult relationship and feel uncomfortable, we can leave. If we’re unfulfilled in our jobs, we can find better ones. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, if we aren’t happy, we can chart a new course. There are a lot of reasons why we continue in situations that aren’t beneficial to us. If we’re unhappy and do nothing, we will continue to be unhappy.  But if we want to change, we can.  The choice is always ours. In the end, the choices we make give us the life we want most because it’s the life we’ve chosen.

Life can be complicated.  There’s a lot going on all the time.  Our relationships are important and we can get caught up in situations other people choose for us even if we don’t want them ourselves. We may feel we need to go along to keep the peace, or maybe it’s just easier. If we do that, we may end up living a life that isn’t genuinely ours but a reflection of what someone else thinks it should be. Our lives belong to us and every day is precious. What we do with our days is important. If we go along and make choices because we feel pressure or want to please someone else, we give away the chance to be ourselves. We are all unique and possess specific gifts for the world. If we keep those inside and only share what we’re told we should, or what’s expected, the world will miss the great blessings we have to offer. Nobody can give the world our gifts but us. We will always be at our best when we are uniquely and perfectly ourselves.

When movies are made, directors tell the actors what to do and how to do it in order for the desired message to be communicated. If we allow others to director our lives, we communicate the message they have to tell, not our own. But our messages are important and they are valuable. The way we see the world is different than anyone else. We don’t need a director to tell us what to do. We already know what we want to do. If we allow ourselves to make the choices we really want to make, we’ll be happy. We have all the courage we need to take control or our lives, and all the wisdom we need to find our way. In the end, we will surely end up with the lives we choose, good or bad. We make our own destiny. We can determine to make it happy, and uniquely ours. If we do, every day will bring us new promise, and our futures will bring us joy.

Today if you haven’t been living the life you really want, or if you dream of things being different, you can change. You can live your life any way you want to. You can do anything. You have everything you need to be happy and fulfilled. You know what you want. Point your eyes in the direction that will take you there. Choose your own path and determine your destiny. You have everything you need to get

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