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Low Tide

23 Feb

There are a lot of distractions in life. We are busy and there is a lot going on all the time. When we’re rushing around and have much to accomplish sometimes our focus can get away from us as we hurry to the next item on the list. If we aren’t living where we are, and in our heads have already moved on to the next stop, we can’t see what’s in front of us. When that happens, we may do something we don’t mean to because we aren’t paying attention to where we are. Maybe we drive through a red light, or forget the one important appointment we didn’t want to miss, or in our rush neglect someone we meant to pick up. We may even get so caught up we completely lose track of where we’re going. It’s like docking a boat on the shore and rushing to explore forgetting the time only to come back and find the tide has gone out and our boat is sitting on sand. What do we do now? Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. We can try to fix them and if our boat is sitting in the sand we can figure out how to get it back into the water. It might not be easy, and it’ll probably take more time than we planned but it can be done. However it’s a lot easier to plan ahead and carefully pay attention than it is to clean things up after they’ve gone wrong.

Life would be so much easier if all we had to do was get from point A to point B, and there was a perfectly straight, paved road to take us there. But we don’t live in dreamland, we live in the real world where there are phones ringing, people pressing for our time, too many things to do, and traffic. Because there are so many things going on if we want to keep our boats in the water, we have to pay attention. We can get anywhere we need to be and do anything we need to do. But we may not succeed if we’re thinking about the next thing on the list instead of what we need to do now. Learning to live in the moment is imperative to success. Perhaps you’ve known someone who talks about what they’re going to do after this happens or that happens, and are always living in the future. We do the same thing when we’re thinking about what’s coming next instead of what we’re doing now. It’s an easy habit to fall into when we’ve got a lot to do. But we can discipline ourselves enough to keep our minds in the present situation. And if we do we’ll accomplish our tasks more effectively and efficiently because they will be our focus.

Some people are lucky enough to have a staff. Maybe they have a personal assistant to take care of all the annoying time consuming errands that must be accomplished, or they have a driver who can get them where they need to be while they relax and enjoy the ride. But most of us don’t have those extravagances and it’s up to us to do everything on our own. We can do anything that is required if we plan carefully and pay attention. If we make a plan when we’re busy and then carefully work it, we’ll be more successful than if we just let things roll forward one after the other. We need to be in the moment and keep our eyes open. And if we master those skills we’ll find that not only do we get everything done and keep our boats floating happily in the surf, but we’ll be happier and less stressed as the day goes by.

Today if you have a lot to do and you feel overwhelmed and distracted, stop and take a moment to plan your way forward. Take each task as it comes and focus on completing it. Then move on to the next. Before you know it you’ll have completed a successful day and be happy with your accomplishments. You are capable of so much. You can do anything and you can do it well. Plan ahead, keep your eyes focused, and you’ll succeed.

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Stuck

5 Feb

We have all kinds of options and opportunities in our lives. There are limitless choices we can make. We can do anything we want to do, go anywhere we want to go, and spend our time with anyone we choose. We can exercise our options at any time and change our situation whenever we feel we need to. But sometimes we forget we have the power to do these things, and we get stuck. Maybe we’re in a relationship that has been a part of our lives for a long time and although we aren’t happy, it has become routine, and we aren’t sure how to break free.  Maybe it’s a career we fell into that isn’t fulfilling but changing to something new is unsettling so we soldier on. And maybe it’s just a lifestyle we formed when we were younger that no longer fits who we are, but we aren’t sure how to change it. We get stuck in routines, in expectations, and in responsibilities. We can forget that we’re in control of our lives but if we want to be happy, really happy, we can do whatever it takes to get there. We can change anything even if it’s been a part of our lives for years. We deserve to be completely happy and feel we’re in charge of our future. We can do anything, but first we have to recognize where we are and decide if it’s where we want to be.

There is no pre-recorded path for our lives. Some people believe in fate and that we are destined to travel a certain road, but that flies in the face of reason. If we were all fated, we wouldn’t be able to choose our own way, but we can do that. If we’re lazy or uncertain, and unhappy where we are, we can say it’s fate, but in reality it’s a choice we’re making. We aren’t puppets on a string, and there isn’t anyone pulling those strings to make us go one way or another. Everything we do is a choice we make. There are sometimes pressures on us to go a certain way and make certain decisions, but in the end we are the ones who choose. Nobody can really make us do anything. And so, if we feel unsatisfied or unfulfilled, we can choose to change our lives. We can choose to do it at any time. And if we’re unhappy the sooner we decide to change, the more content we’ll be.

Nobody knows how long we’ll be on earth in this amazing, precarious, unpredictable, and wonderful existence. We may live to be centenarians, or we may leave earlier. We need to make the most of every day we’re here and get the most out of our experiences. If we’re stuck in a situation that stunts us, keeps us from moving forward, or doesn’t make us happy, we can change it. We deserve to be happy and feel we’re taking advantage of every opportunity available to us. Routines are just patterns we can break. We don’t have to stay stuck. We can choose something new. We can try anything and we can make our dreams a reality. All we have to do is decide. Making the decision to change is often the hardest part of the process. Once we’ve decided, going forward where we want to go will be rewarding. There isn’t anything we can’t do if we want it badly enough. We can conquer any obstacle, and we can accomplish whatever we set out to do. Getting stuck happens. Getting unstuck can happen too.

Today if you feel you’ve been stuck in a situation that isn’t rewarding or fulfilling and you want to change, you can. Decide what you want to do and where you want to go, and then open the door and begin. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Make your dreams come true. You have everything you need already. Take the first step. Turn the page. Happiness is there waiting for you.

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Easy Way Out

2 Feb

Life is complicated and sometimes we find ourselves in situations that aren’t working for us and we want to change. We’re in charge of our lives and can change anything we wish, but it isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable to make changes, especially when others are involved. For instance, if we’re in a relationship that isn’t working and we no longer want to continue. The best we can do is to be honest and upfront, and tell the other person how we feel and that we want to move on in another direction. But sometimes we may think that’s too difficult, so instead we dodge them, stand them up for dates we’ve made, or don’t answer their calls. If we do that, we figure eventually they’ll get the idea and we’ll have made our exit without the uncomfortable conversation. We might think that’s the easy way out, but really it’s just the coward’s way out, and we can all do better than that. In most situations when we need to make a definite change, there really is no easy way out. If we want to handle it well, we have to be courageous and honest enough to state our feelings clearly, and then move forward on a new road.

Nobody wants to hurt others. We don’t want to make people feel bad, and we never want to be the bad guy. But if we need a change, and if we aren’t honest about it we have only two other options. We can continue to pretend that everything is fine, which never works over time, or we can try to find an easy way out, which often hurts everyone more in the end. We all have sufficient courage to stand up for what is right, and be honest. If the situation has been going on for a long time it will be harder than if it’s been a brief interchange. But long or short, if it has to change, we need to be open enough to make that happen. If we clearly, and openly express our feelings and explain what we want going forward, the other person may be hurt, but they will respect our honesty. They may not like what we have to say, but they will understand our decision.

Many of us are resistant to change. When things stay the same we know what to expect and that makes us comfortable. But we deserve to be happy, and if we aren’t happy with the way our lives are going we can make whatever changes are needed to bring happiness to us. It may be uncomfortable to initiate the change, and feel awkward at first while we set up new patterns, and decide on a new course, but if the end result is personal happiness, it’s worth whatever it takes. Change is a normal part of life. We all experience it every day. Life is fluid and the only thing we can really count on is that whatever we’re going through today will change at some point. If we decide we need to, we can make that change come sooner rather than later. This life is a gift. We only get one chance to live each day. It’s not worth wasting a single moment in a situation that makes us unhappy. We are in control of our lives and we can design them any way we want to. We have all the courage we need to correct any situation we’re in.

Today if you’re unhappy with a situation in your life, you can change it. Be honest and open about how you feel and what you want going forward. Asking for what you want doesn’t make you the bad guy. You deserve every happiness. Your life is precious. Don’t waste another moment being unhappy. Change what needs to be changed, and you’ll find the peace and comfort you deserve.

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Big Left Turn

21 Dec

Unfortunately, even though we try not to, sometimes we make a terrible decision. We do something that hurts others and is so egregious our lives are greatly impacted. Sometimes what we’ve done impacts us or others so greatly, nothing is ever really the same afterward. We may not have done it on purpose, or we might have acted willingly if we were angry enough, but whether we meant to or not, once it’s done it can’t be undone. If we’ve made a big left turn and broken the road we’ve been on, our lives will change. If we’ve hurt those we care about we may feel the repercussions for a long time.  Sadly, sometimes a relationship we really cared about is so badly damaged it cannot be repaired. When this happens, once we realize the full impact of what we’ve done, we may feel great remorse. If we’re still angry we might not feel sorrow for a while, but it’s destined to come to us at some point. Since we can’t change the past all we can do is go forward. We have to do what we can to make things right, and forgive ourselves. The road may have changed dramatically and we may feel very unsettled until we figure out what to do next, but going forward is our only option.

There are lots of reasons why we make big mistakes, but in the end, the reasons really won’t matter. The only thing that matters is what we do next. If we’ve lost a valuable relationship we can try to rebuild it. If we are able to regain the trust of the other person, it’s possible we may restore it.  However, if the trust has been broken too severely, we may never have that relationship back. If there’s someone we really care about and we’ve lost them, our only option forward is to love them from afar and let them know we want them in our lives. Over time we all change. Wounds heal, and feelings mend. After enough time has passed it’s possible we’ll be able to start again.

Our lives are fluid and ever changing. What we do today often affects what comes to us tomorrow. The worst decisions are often made out of anger and haste, when we rush to an assumption or try to even a score. We may prevent bad decisions if we stop and give ourselves time to think before we act. We know we should, but in the heat of the moment, sometimes things get out of control. Being out of control never brings happiness and often brings heartache. If we can take some time to breathe and think before we jump, we may figure out a way forward that will not destroy our relationships or the path we want to be on. Only we can decide what we’ll do. We can make good decisions and we can choose wisely.  If we wait just for a moment, and consider where we’re going, oftentimes we’ll make a better and happier decision. Hard times come to us all but we can prevent them from becoming disastrous if we stop and think before we act.

Today if you’re feeling edgy and upset, if you’re angry and determined to get even or make someone pay for some slight you think they’ve caused, stop for a moment before you do anything. There is a lot at stake. Your relationships, your future happiness, and your personal peace are a big price to pay for anger. Don’t pay it. Take a breath. This is just a moment and it will pass. Give yourself some space. The right answer will come and you’ll be in control. Then make the best decision and you’ll go forward with confidence. You know what to do. Today choose the right and peace will follow.

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Finding It

1 Dec

Every day we spend our time doing things that are important to us. What those things are depend on who we are, what we want, how we feel, and dozens of other parameters. But no matter what’s going on, if there is something we want to do, even if we haven’t planned for it, we generally find a way to get to it. It’s often a true axiom that we do what we want to do most. For instance, if we have responsibilities we need to take care of but would rather try out a new restaurant, we might let something go to make that happen. It’s a question of motivation and direction. We may tell ourselves we really need to get something done, and we might even plan for it, but if we don’t want to do it, we may justify putting it off. In the end, whatever we’re looking for, we’ll find. If we’re looking for a way to make something happen, we’ll get it done. If we’re looking the other way, it won’t happen.

There is sometimes pressure from others to do things a certain way and in a certain order, but if we aren’t convinced that’s for us, we won’t make it a priority. However, we might agree to do it their way just to make them happy, and get them to drop the subject.  We can do anything we want to with our time. We are the ones in the end who make the decisions about our lives. And so, it’s important to decide what we really want to do. Do we really want to visit that friend we’ve been promising to see for months but never make it? Do we really want to go to that sci-fi movie because our best friend loves it and we hate it? We need to be completely honest with ourselves and with those around us. If we aren’t going to do what they ask, we may politely decline. If we aren’t going to show, no matter what the argument is, it’s best to say so.

We all want to be nice and helpful. We want to be agreeable and get along with others. Having our own opinions and making our own decisions does not diminish that. We can be completely honest and we can say no. When we’re honest and upfront we may face the disappointment of others when we decline their request, but they will respect us for telling the truth. When things must be accomplished, we should make a defined plan to get them done so we can let them go. Leaving them hanging in limbo will never bring us satisfaction or peace. They’ll niggle at us continually until we complete them.  But when we’ve completed the task we can move on to the things we most want to do. We are capable of organizing our lives and our activities in the best possible way so we can be comfortable and happy going forward.

Today if you’ve been looking for ways to dodge something you need to do, make a plan to get it done and then complete it. You’ll be happy when the chore is over and you can move ahead with something fun. Be proactive and organize your tasks so you feel content and capable. You can do anything you want to do. Today look for the best way, and you’ll surely find it.

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