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Genuine Article

20 Apr

There are a lot of influences on us every day.  Some people inspire us to do good things and be our best, and others can pull us away from what we really want to do.  Every decision we make takes us somewhere and brings some sort of response.  If they take us where we want to go and bring positive growth we continue to move forward.  But sometimes they stall us in our tracks and even bring sorrow and problems into our lives.  We all know who we are and what we want.  If we focus on being genuine in our decisions, looking at them clearly and without bias, and staying true to who we really want to be, we have a better shot at making the best decisions possible at every turn.  But the influences around us can be strong and have a powerful pull even when they are pulling us in the wrong direction.  We can get confused and take a wrong turn if we aren’t careful.  There are a lot of roads in life and we direct our path through the choices we make.  If we pay attention, and stay focused on our goals, we can continue to move forward.  And each step forward takes us closer to where we really want to be.

The people closest to us may exercise a lot of power over us.  Friends and family may want us to do something or be some way we don’t want to choose.  If we are very close to them and love them, their opinions may mean a lot.  And if what we want is different than what they think we should have, problems may arise.  Because we care about them and want to prevent conflict and preserve good feelings, we may choose to go along.  And if we do, we may be able to wing it for a time, but eventually who we really are and what we really want will surface again.  We can continue to play along but true happiness comes when we are genuine and honest with ourselves and those around us.  If we disagree with something we can choose to decline.  There may be tension at the beginning but if we stay true to our course, and they love us, eventually they will respect our choices.

There is sometimes great pressure to conform and be like others.  Nobody really wants to live in a cookie cutter world, but there are times when it seems easier to get along if everyone agrees to the same models.  No two people are exactly the same and each of us has a unique perspective to offer.  Although it might be easier if we were all the same, the only way to make that happen is to discount our uniqueness.  This world is a big, diverse place.  Each of us has something to offer but we can’t offer it if we are busy trying to fit someone else’s mold.  If we are genuine and honest about ourselves, and with those around us, we might not look the same, but our unique influence will bring unexpected blessings and enhance our experiences.  We are perfect being ourselves.  We can be confident enough to express that and find joy in being one of a kind.

Today if you don’t feel you’re doing things your way, you can change.  Your presence is a gift to the world, and we all need to know you just as you are.   Be confident in expressing your individuality.  You bring a perspective that is uniquely yours.  Be genuinely you and you’ll leave a perfect impression everywhere you go.

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Where do we go from here?

16 Apr

There are a lot of roads we can travel and paths we can choose. There is no one perfect way to live a life, and we have limitless options. Sometimes we come to a crossroads and look both ways unsure of which way to turn. If we go one way the outcome will likely be different than if we go another. It doesn’t always mean one way is better than the other, but they will surely be different. It isn’t always easy to figure out which way is best for us and sometimes even when we try to choose the path that will take us where we want to go, it turns out to be a dead end, and we have to turn back. We’ll face many times in our lives where we’re at a turning point. Maybe a relationship has ended and we aren’t sure what to do next. Maybe our professional lives have changed dramatically and we feel lost without a compass. And maybe we’ve changed and decided the path we’re on needs to change as well. Lots of things happen and sometimes when they do we wonder, where do we go from here? What do we do now if what we’ve been doing is no longer working or is no longer unavailable? It’s important to remember we are in charge of our lives. No matter what happens we have everything we need to figure out the next step. We can evaluate our situation, look at all the options available and make a good decision going forward. If it doesn’t work out, we can re-evaluate and choose again. There is no end to the choices we can make. We just need to keep moving forward. We’ll find the way in time and all the dead ends and missed turns will mean nothing.

Some people decide early in their lives what they want. They’re self-directed and have defined where they want to go and what they want to do. Others take their time and let things unfold for a while, and try several different scenarios before deciding what works for them. It doesn’t really matter what we choose to do as long as it’s what we really want to do. If we want to be a circus clown, we can be. If we want to be a business executive, we can do that too. But sometimes what we want may not be possible for us. We don’t usually know that in the beginning but as time passes if it’s not workable it’ll be obvious, and then can adjust our trajectory to a slightly different destination. There is no failure if we keep moving forward. It doesn’t matter how many times we change our course if we keep moving closer to where we want to be.

If we really want to reach a specific goal and although we’ve tried our hardest, it eludes us, we may need to re-think where we’re headed. Some things may be out of our reach. We may not have all the talents or skills to achieve exactly what we had hoped for but that doesn’t mean we can’t find success. Some people say anything is possible if we want something badly enough and many times that’s true. But sometimes no matter what we do, we can’t get there. There are a lot of factors in play all the time. If we haven’t gotten to the ultimate goal, we can be excellent where we are, and continue to grow forward. Wherever we end up we always have the option of asking ourselves where do we go from here? We can make any plans we want going forward. The world belongs to those who take it. And we can take our turn in getting what we want.

Today if you’re at a crossroads and aren’t sure which way to turn, look at all your options. You will make the best decision. If it doesn’t take you where you want to go, you can change your course. You are successful because you are moving forward. You know where you want to go. If you need to make a turn, you will make it. You life belongs to you. Take it, make it yours, and you’ll be successful.

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How Long it Takes

15 Apr

When things go wrong or we suffer a painful loss, it’s sometimes hard to get over. We may grieve for a time, or suffer in other ways, and although we want it to go away, sometimes the healing process takes longer than we want it to. If it’s a serious loss, like a death of someone near us or a painful breakup, it may takes months or years to get through. Even devastating disappointments can take a lot of time for us to process and move forward. When we’ve been hurt badly, the damage can be all encompassing and even debilitating for a time. We might feel we can’t overcome it, and that we’ll never be right again. Grief and healing can’t be rushed. They have their own timetable and even if we think we should be over it, even if our friends and family tell us to get over it, we won’t get through until we’re done processing the loss. How long that takes is how long it takes. If we can’t accept what’s happened and hold on to denial we won’t heal until we can let go. But if we are determined to move forward, and do everything we can to face the change that has come into our lives, we will get through more quickly. There isn’t anything so difficult or painful we can’t manage. We just need to take it one step at a time and continue to take a step forward every day.

Devastating losses, no matter what they are, upset our lives. They impact us in every way. They may affect the way we feel about ourselves and others, or the hope we have for the future, and the trust we have that things will get better. If the pain is deep enough, even our personal faith may be shaken. We may question things we had previously believed were unshakable and find it hard to face another day. Human beings are incredibly resilient but we’re also incredibly fragile. If we suffer pain so great that we are rattled to the core, it will take time to put the pieces back together again. But our resilience is always there. It’s there even when we don’t feel it or can’t see it. It’s like invisible glue always ready to help us put things right again. It may take some time, and it will take determination, but we have everything we need to become whole and strong.

Suffering brings blessings. That can be hard to see when we’re struggling and everything hurts, but even when we aren’t aware of it, we’re growing and getting stronger. The greater the loss, the greater potential for growth. The experience of loss helps us learn how to gain. As we heal, even if we’ve been broken into a million pieces, and it takes all the courage we have to find our way back, at each step we gain strength. If everything was easy all the time we would be shallow and weak. There would be no need to learn and grow, and no need for emotional strength. The blessings of trials are great. If we can remember we’re gaining when we’re trying to recover from loss it will give us the courage we need to keep going forward. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We just have to keep moving forward.

Today if you’ve suffered a painful loss, no matter what’s happened you will manage it. There is nothing so painful that it will overcome you. You are stronger than you know. Flex your muscles, take a breath and move forward. Tomorrow move forward some more. You’ll get through this. And you’ll be stronger on the other side.

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Done Deal

8 Apr

We do a lot of things every day. We try new things, start new projects, begin on a new path, and continue on. There are endless things to learn and do. We can tackle any challenge we want to and we can succeed. But sometimes we don’t finish what we start. Maybe the project ended up taking more time than we planned on, or maybe it turned out to be more complicated or expensive than we wanted. When we don’t finish things and don’t let them go, they hang around on the periphery of our lives. Maybe we stuff them in a closet and although ignore them, see them every day. Maybe we put them in a drawer and try to forget them, but we know they’re there. If we don’t plan to finish whatever we’ve been working on, and we want to move forward, we need to let them go. Otherwise, they will be a constant reminder of what we didn’t do. We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to, and if we’ve decided we’re not going to finish something it’s best to remove it completely. We can give it away, throw it away, erase it from our to-do list, forget it, and move on.

When we have unfinished business around us it can undermine our confidence. We may believe we should have done more to complete it or managed it better. Those thoughts can hold us back and we may struggle thinking we should try to work on it again. We can always go back to anything we’ve left behind but if we’ve decided we’re not going to do it, we can let it go. Moving forward is our privilege and we don’t have to focus on things that hold us back. We accomplish a lot of things well, and if we come upon something we can’t or don’t want to complete, we can move on. If it’s important enough to finish even when we don’t want to, we can do that as well. Either way it’s our choice, and we can make it.

If we are judicious in our decisions about what we will and won’t do, we’ll be more successful in completing the tasks we take on. We can’t do everything and promising to do more than we can will only lead to disappointment. We can take some time to evaluate what we realistically are able to do, and then decide from there. Making careful decisions about our time will enable us to find success. It’s easy to get carried away and agree to do more than we can. There are a lot of people in the world and sometimes it seems they all want something from us. But we’re in control of our lives and our time. If we know we won’t be able to finish something it’s best not to start. Leaving things unfinished again and again may impact our confidence. If we are wise and choose carefully, we’ll be more successful in completing the things we’ve chosen, and feel better about our accomplishments.

Today if you’ve got unfinished projects that are niggling at you, think about what you can realistically complete and let the rest go. You aren’t a failure for not finishing something. You are wise to manage your time. You know what you can and can’t do. Let go of the things you can’t, and you’ll be successful completing the things you can.

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High Expectations

7 Apr

When we’re trying to do something new or we’re learning a new skill, sometimes we expect to be able to do it perfectly from the start. Even if we acknowledge intellectually that may not be possible, we may hope for it nonetheless. Sometimes our expectations for ourselves are unrealistically high. We think we should be able to do anything we want and do it well. Unfortunately, life doesn’t really work that way. We all do some things well, and some things not so well. But when we want to do something badly we may think we should be good at it from the beginning. Expecting perfection can lead to failure. If our expectations are too high and we fall short we may give up. And giving up gets us nowhere. Just learning and trying something new is enough to start. If we can learn to be more patient and more accepting with ourselves we’ll be happier and more comfortable as we move along.

The world sets high standards. Never in history have we been expected to do more than we are today. The ideals of perfection are everywhere we look. There are constant messages that our appearances, our lifestyles, our finances, and our personal lives should be flawless and accomplished without effort. Of course none of that is possible. If we internalize the messages we see virtually everywhere, we can feel we aren’t good enough, fast enough, strong enough, rich enough, or smart enough. There is no way to be perfect at everything despite the messages we hear. The truth is we will do some things very well, and some things will elude us. We can decide what our lives will look like and what we’ll do. No matter what we hear and see, we can determine how we’ll go forward and find satisfaction in knowing we’re doing things our way. We can set our expectations in ways that bring us success and happiness.

Some people do amazing things that change the world. But those are extreme and extraordinarily rare. We all have successes in our lives but they may not be on such a grand scale. That does not diminish the importance of the success. When we live purposefully, directing our lives on the paths we most want to follow and achieve our goals, we are successful. The goals we set don’t have to be monumental. No matter what they are, if we achieve them, we are successful. We don’t have to do extraordinary things to make the world a better place. Just by living well, being kind and supportive, showing compassion, and taking care of ourselves makes an impact for good. There isn’t anyone else like us anywhere on earth. We don’t have set impossible expectations or be perfect in the eyes of the world. We are perfect just as we are.

Today if you’ve been expecting a lot from yourself and have set your standards high, remember you are perfect just as you are. Your kindness and compassion are making the world a better place. We are all blessed because you’re here. You’re one of a kind and bring a light no one else can offer. Be who you are. It’ll be exactly right.

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