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Finding Ourselves

16 May

Learning who we are and what we want seems like an easy thing to do.  After all, we’re the only ones living inside our own heads.  But the complications of living in a world filled with others and their opinions and expectations, can muddy the waters.  We learn as we go and each day we discover something new about ourselves.  As we grow, we change and how we see ourselves changes as well.  They say it isn’t until we’re lost that we begin to find ourselves.  When we get lost and all the things we thought we could count on aren’t available, if our direction is spinning around and we feel untethered, we have only ourselves to rely on.  And when that happens, we learn who we really are.  When it’s just us and nobody else, when the light is dim and it’s hard to find our way, we must pull from resources inside us.  And when we do we find out how strong and capable we are, and we begin to understand how much we can really do.  Discovering who we really are and living a genuine life are great blessings that will bring us comfort, courage, and confidence.

This life is filled with signs and directions.  Go here, go there, do this, do that, stop, go, wait, it’s endless.  Everyone has an opinion about what we should do.  Some of those opinions mean a lot, and some of it is just noise created by our societal norms.  If we take a road trip and follow every sign we see, take every exit and every turn, all we’ll do is drive from place to place with no final destination.  Our lives are the same way.  If we don’t have a plan for our destination, if we don’t know what we want to do, and if we have no idea where we’re headed, we’ll end up spending our days going places but landing nowhere.

We don’t always have to get lost to figure out who we are and what we want, but we will have to pay attention.  Instead of going along with everything we encounter, we can take a moment and decide if it’s something we really want to do.  Instead of acting a certain way because it’s what’s expected, we can be genuinely who we are.  Our lives are in our control.  We can decide to do anything with them we choose.  But we have to make the choices if we want them to be ours.  We can go anywhere we want to go, but we have to take the journey.  We can be anything we want to be, but we have to do what’s needed for that to become reality.  It’s all in our power.  The only thing stopping us from doing it our way, is us.  We have sufficient courage and determination to create the lives we want.  Our lives can be a true reflection of who we are, and when they are, we find real happiness.

Today if you feel like you’re not moving forward the way you want to and you’re staying busy but feel stuck, think about what you want.  Think about who you really are and then begin to live your life the way that fits you best.  You are a gift to the world.  There has never been, nor will there ever be anyone else like you.  Be genuine.  Be yourself and share that uniqueness.  The world is better because you’re here.  Find yourself and you’ll find real happiness.

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Where We’re Headed

12 May

There are all kinds of destinations we can choose as we live our lives. We can decide to accomplish anything we want, go anywhere we like and become the people we most want to be. But sometimes where we think we’re headed isn’t exactly where we’re going. We may think we want something, even plan to get it, but then get on a road that will never take us to it. It might happen because although the goal sounds good to us we aren’t really sure it’s what we want. Or maybe others have suggested it’s what’s best, but we aren’t convinced. We can pretend to be going one way, and really move forward another. If there is pressure for us to be a certain way and achieve certain things we might go along and act as though they are important to us even if they aren’t. But doing that leaves us with no direction at all. It’s impossible to go to two places at the same time. If we’re pretending to go east and really want to go west, we may sit still and go nowhere. We can decide what direction is best for us and no matter what others or situations suggest we can always go our own way. But first we have to decide where our true destination lies. After that we can chart our course and begin the journey.

We live in a world with lots of influences. Our families may have ideas about what’s best for us, our friends may voice their opinions, our lovers may tell us what they think we should do, our bosses may direct us, and society itself may make us feel pressure in one direction or another. We can listen to all the opinions and ideas but in the end we must choose what is right for us. Making that choice can be more difficult if we aren’t sure where we want to go. With so many possibilities, and so many options many of which look good, it can be hard to determine what we want most. But if we take the time to think about where we want to go and how we want to get there our direction will become clear. We have all the courage and determination we need to accomplish anything we like. Once we decide what we really want, there really isn’t anything strong enough to stop us.

Journeys can be complicated. We rarely get from point A to point B by going in an unbreakable straight line. Life enters in, complications arise, we get side tracked, there are detours ahead, and a million things can come up that skew our direction. But if we keep our eyes focused on the goal and are determined to get there, no matter what happens we will press forward and get back on the road. We don’t have to rush, and we don’t have to give up when it gets hard. We can keep moving forward step by step until we reach the destination. How long it takes to get there isn’t important. The important thing is that we’re headed in the right direction.

Today if you’ve been uncertain about which way you want to go, stop and decide what you want most. Things will clarify and you’ll find your direction. Then chart your course and start moving forward. There isn’t anything you can’t accomplish. The road may be long but you are strong enough to walk it. Keep your eyes focused forward and you’ll reach your destination. You have everything you need to succeed.

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Returning to the Scene

11 May

In law enforcement when a crime has been committed, often detectives and others looking for the perpetrator will watch the scene of the crime for anyone who looks suspicious.  Often those who commit crimes return to the scene to observe the reactions of people and watch what happens.  In our lives we may never commit crimes, and I hope we don’t, but there may be times when things don’t go quite the way we wanted them to.  There can be a feeling of emptiness as we deal with disappointment and it can sometimes take time to figure out what happened.  If we feel bad, we may decide to revisit the situation to help us understand what went wrong.  That might mean talking to those who were involved to try and gain some clarity.  Or we might just need to think about what happened and try to sort out our feelings.  Life changes every day but sometimes when we aren’t happy it can feel like it’s changing without us.  Returning to the situation where we went off track can help us find our footing again.  If we didn’t understand it all the first time, we may have to return again and again until we figure out how to go forward.  There is no rush and we can take as much time as needed until we’re ready to let it go and move on.

If we suffer a great disappointment and are deeply hurt we might feel stuck in our misery.  The days may seem fuzzy and we may have trouble concentrating.  It’s hard to look ahead when what’s behind us is holding us so tightly.  We may get stalled trying to understand what happened and where to go from here.  Analyzing the situation can help if we can be objective, but like editing, analyzing can become endless.  No matter how we look at the situation we will never be able to change the outcome.  If we’re determined not to look at it, and live in denial we’ll stay stuck until we return and sort it out.  We will ultimately have to accept the changes that have occurred, even if we don’t agree with them, and then chart a course to move forward.  There isn’t anything we can’t manage and whatever comes to us, no matter how heartbreaking or painful, can be put to rest in time.

Walking into the unknown can be unnerving, and trying to find a new road or a new destination may take some time and thought.  There isn’t just one destination for our lives.  We have limitless choices available to us all the time.  If where we thought we were headed is no longer possible, we can choose someplace new.  We can find new ways to live our lives that are rewarding and fulfilling, and we can find happiness even if it’s not the version of happiness we thought we would have.  A great disappointment is hard to bear.  But the lessons learned while navigating through it will strengthen us and make us more confident for the road ahead.  We can do anything and there is nothing too difficult for us to get through.  The road is long and no detour will keep us from traveling forward.

Today if you’ve been shaken by a disappointment and things have not gone the way you hoped, you can find another way to happiness.  There isn’t anything you can’t face and you have all the tools you need to chart a new course.  There are countless roads in front of you. Find the one that takes you where you want to go now.  Make a turn and start moving forward again.  Happiness is there waiting for you.

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Fairy Dust

2 May

Facing our lives as they really are is necessary for success.  We have to see everything clearly in order to move forward.  However, sometimes we might decide to look away from reality and prefer a fantasy view of where we are and what we’re going through.  Maybe it’s because we’re facing difficult times that are overwhelming and don’t think we can manage them.  But refusing to see things as they are and choosing make believe doesn’t help us go forward.  The truth of our situations is what is real.  There is no magical fairy dust to make things right.  If we gloss over our problems or pretend they don’t exist it will hurt us in the end.  We are courageous and smart enough to face and overcome anything that comes to us.  Looking away only postpones what we need to do to move forward and holds us in place.

There is nothing wrong with having an active imagination. We can dream about things we want to do, and imagine what our lives would be like if things were different.  Sometimes our time spent dreaming fuels ideas that enable us to create better situations and move toward the goals we’re dreaming about.  We are creative by nature and if we imagine how things could be and really define them, it can motivate us to do what is needed to make them a reality.  There isn’t anything we can’t do and no destination is too far away.  Dreaming of making our goals a reality is fine but dreaming and imagining won’t make them come true.  If we want to change, we must face our lives as they are and then do what is needed to take us where we want to go.

Sometimes we all go through difficult trials and sometimes we suffer as we try to navigate them.  Some things are painful, and can stop us completely as we try to understand and move through them.  Checking out and pretending they don’t exist may bring momentary relief from the situation but it will never help us move through it.  Putting a shine on a problem may make it look better, but it won’t solve it.  If we want to get past something difficult the best thing to do is to march right through it.  We are strong enough to face whatever comes to us and brave enough to deal with any complication.  We can find our way if we look at everything clearly and openly.  We have everything we need to solve any problem.  There is nothing that will conquer us.  We can do whatever we must to move forward.

Today if you feel like hiding out or looking away because a situation you’re facing feels too hard to go through, remember how strong you are.  There isn’t anything that will defeat you.  You can manage anything that comes to you and you will find your way.  You are stronger than you realize.  Look at what’s real and be confident.  You can do anything.

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Stop Signs

22 Apr

When we’re out driving around we sometimes we come upon stop signs.  When we reach one, no matter how much of a hurry we’re in or how empty the road ahead appears, we need to stop.  We don’t have to stop for long but we have to stop completely.  If we don’t think anyone is looking and we don’t see other cars around, if we’re in a rush we might just drive through.  Unfortunately we can’t see everything and if a police officer sees us disregard the sign, or an unexpected car is suddenly in front of us, our delay working out the complications may take a lot longer than if we had only stopped to begin with.  Stop signs are important and although we need to stop when we come upon them, we don’t have to stop forever.  It’s for just a moment and then we can proceed forward.  Sometimes in our lives we reach situations that cause us to stop.  They might be unexpected developments or disappointments, changes in our plans, or events that stop us in our tracks.  If they are far reaching, when we stop for them we might feel we can’t go forward again.  But no matter what stops us, even if it’s extreme, it’s not permanent.  We can take time to adjust to the situation, review our options, and find the way forward.

When we’re going through our days and getting things done, we don’t want anything to prevent our progress.  We know what we need to do and want to complete it with the least resistance possible.  But we don’t live on the earth alone and are subject to all kinds of outside forces all the time.  Other people’s decisions may impact us, unforeseen developments may arise, and even the weather can stop us in our tracks.  We can’t predict anything and when complications arise that prevent us from going forward we have no choice but to stop.  But just like stop signs, it’s not a permanent stop.  We can come up with a new plan, find a new path, and continue on.

If we’re stopped by a situation that is completely unexpected and disappointing, after we stop we might feel stuck.  We may be hurt, or confused by something that’s happened, or our plans may have gone up in smoke.  If those plans were very important to us, it can be hard to overcome the disappointment when they are no longer viable.  If we think the original plan is absolutely the only way forward, we might come to a full stop and have no idea what to do.  But there is no one way to do anything.  There are always options and if we allow ourselves to explore all possibilities, we will find an alternate way forward.  Nothing in this life is permanent.  Everything changes every day.  Even if what we really want is no longer possible, we can adjust and find another way forward.  Our lives are important and we can manage anything that comes to us, even stop signs.  There is nothing strong enough to hold us in place forever.  We have the power to keep moving and choose another road.

Today if something has caused you to stop moving forward as planned, take a moment to think about your options.  There are lots of other roads right in front of you and you can make them yours.  You already know where you want to go.  Choose another path and start again.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.  You will find success on any road you choose.

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