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Convinced

6 Apr

As we go through our lives there may be times when we’re asked to do things we may not be enthusiastic about or aren’t sure we want to do. It could be something personal, something involving our families, or something in the professional arena. Whatever it is, there may be others who try to convince us we need to do it, or who try to make us do it. Unless the person asking has authority over us we don’t have to comply with any request. But it can be hard to say no when those who want compliance are close to us. They may try to control us or manipulate us into doing what they want. If their influence is strong enough we may acquiesce. But if we do, we may not be happy. When we have feelings for someone, we can be vulnerable. If they ask us for something and we aren’t convinced the request is in our best interest, but do it anyway, it may damage the relationship. We all get to make our own decisions. We can choose anything we like and if we choose things we don’t want, we may have regrets later. If things don’t go well we may say we were made to comply but that’s not completely true. The fact is we are in control of our own lives. If we acquiesce and do something we don’t want to do, we are choosing that path. And when we do, we also choose where it takes us. If we aren’t convinced the decision is in our best interest, no matter who is pushing it, we need to choose what’s best for us.

Influence is a powerful tool. When we love someone we want them to be happy. If they ask us for something we often want to comply. But if they want something we don’t want to give it may be difficult to decide. We can choose anything we like. We can go along even when we don’t want to, or we can decline. If we go along and things don’t work out and we get hurt, we may blame the requestor. However, that’s not fair. We make our own decisions and if we chose to go along, we own the results of that choice. We are accountable for every decision we make. If we don’t want to do something and do it anyway, we own it.

Learning to be genuine and honest in all our dealings takes determination. If we honestly decide what we want to do and where we want to go, there may be times when others disagree. If they want us to go another way and we refuse, they may not be happy. But being honest in every choice keeps us on the road we want to travel. If we take a detour to do something chosen by someone else, we may end up going somewhere we don’t want to go. Although some will be annoyed when we don’t comply, we can respectfully decline any request that isn’t right for us. If we are honest in every situation our lives will reflect what we want most, and take us to the destination we choose. We are entitled to live our lives any way we like. If that isn’t what someone else wants, we can still choose our own path.

Today if you’re being influenced to do something you aren’t sure about you may decline. You have the right to make the best choices for yourself and choose where you want to go. This is your day. You are capable of doing anything you like. Design the life you want most and you’ll find true happiness.

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Fair Winds

2 Apr

Everywhere we go and everything we do is changed because we were there.  With every touch, every conversation, and every interaction, we leave a part of us behind.  It’s easy to forget that as we go through each day moving from one task to another.  We’re all sharing the planet together, and even when we think we’re on our own and alone, others see us and hear us, and their lives are changed because we are here.  There is a well know nautical blessing of “Fair winds and following seas.”  To a sailor, fair winds mean an easy and productive day, and following seas push them closer to the safety of the shore.  We can create our own fair winds through our behavior, and when we do, the following seas are the trailing benefits of what we leave behind.  If we are rude and manipulative, or angry and crass, those are the impressions that will follow us.  But if we are kind and patient, pleasant and helpful, that’s what we’ll take forward.  Trouble comes to us all.  Nobody has a life filled with only soft clover and honey. We’re going to have hard times, difficult challenges, disappointments, and sadness.  It’s the natural course of life and cannot be completely avoided.  But what we do when we have challenging times is up to us.  We can hold onto the pain, and become hard and mean, and live on turbulent seas.  Or we can walk through whatever comes and determine to heal in spite of it.  Whatever choice we make will be reflected in our actions and demeanor.

Although difficult times will come, sometimes we manufacture more problems from the way we deal, or don’t deal, with them.  If someone has hurt us, instead of seeing the issue as it is and determining to move forward anyway, we could hold onto the hurt and let it develop into anger, and feelings of revenge.  We could live our lives focused on getting back at the one who hurt us, and let the pain control us.  If we do, we may lose track of everything else and become bitter.  Bitterness will create more problems to deal with.  If we can keep our eyes on the goals we want for ourselves, and focus on who we really want to be, we can move past any pain or difficulty and retain our best attributes.  We can decide to cope with our troubles and find peace knowing we are doing the best we can.  We can impact others for good, we can be kind, and enhance the world and those around us.

Today if you’ve been angry because of something that’s happened, remember who you are.  You have a lot to offer and you deserve to be happy.  Set your sites on the goals you want for yourself and move forward with confidence.  Share the gifts you have with those around you.  Be an example of goodness and light, and you’ll have fair winds and following seas not just today, but every day going forward.

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Today

26 Mar

Every day we live we have the chance to do anything we want to do. Every day brings with it the promise of happiness. Even if today doesn’t not turn out to be the best day of our lives, it is the only day we have. Yesterday is gone and will never return, and tomorrow is out of our control. All we have is today. We can decide how we’ll live it, what we’ll do, where we’ll go, and what we’ll learn. If we make the most of it, today may bring untold blessings and countless benefits. If we squander it just going through the motions it will pass, and nothing will be gained. We cannot stop the march of time. We can’t make it last longer or slow down. We can only navigate it as it comes and do our best to make the most of it. It’s easy to close our eyes and drift through the hours, mindless of what we’re doing and oblivious of what’s available. But our chance to live right now is fleeting, and the hours will be wasted if we don’t pay attention and live wide awake.

Today is a good day to start. If we’ve been thinking about something we want to do, somewhere we want to go, or someone we want to see, today is the perfect day to begin. We can take the first step on a new journey, or begin the plans we’ve been making and putting off. Sometimes just taking the first step is the hardest but once we’ve set our foot in the direction we want to go we can be off and running. Every dream is a possibility. Every goal is achievable, and today is a good time to start making them happen. We can set time aside and really begin to move in the direction we want to go. We can reorganize our priorities to make sure we continue moving forward, and we can succeed. If we aren’t quite ready, today is the day to start making a plan. Unrealized goals often bring with them frustration and unhappiness. If we are consciously working toward where we want to be and actively pursuing what we want to gain, we will find contentment even before we reach the goal. When we’re on the road moving forward we will gain the confidence we need to succeed.

If we’ve been grieving or hurting from something in the past, today is a good day to start letting go. No matter how many tears we’ve cried, no matter how many sleepless nights we’ve endured – it’s enough. Maybe we can’t let go of all the hurt but today we could look up and let happiness creep in just a little. Pain sometimes has its own timetable and we can’t rush it, but we can give ourselves a breather. We can take a day off from the worry and sorrow. It will still be there tomorrow if we return to it. But if we’ve had enough, we can choose today to let it go and move forward. Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves. Nobody else can give it to us. We have to decide to take it and make it a reality in our lives. This life flies by in an instant. We can choose to be happy and make the most of each day, and today is the perfect day to start.

Today – if you’ve been wanting to do something and haven’t begun, start. If you’ve been suffering and are ready to move forward, let it go. You are worth more than you know. The world is blessed because you are here, and your presence brings light to us all. Choose today to move forward and be happy. You deserve every happiness. You can have it. Today is the perfect day to get it.

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No End

23 Mar

There are times in all of our lives when something terrible happens and we don’t think we can survive it. It may be the sudden death of a loved one, a crushing professional disappointment, the betrayal of someone close, or other things that are extremely hard to face. Nobody has a blissful, perfect life all the time. Things go wrong and sometimes they go very wrong. When we’re in the throes of these experiences we may feel so overwhelmed we can’t see the end. We can’t imagine how to navigate the situation and we may feel sure it will overcome us. But then a day goes by and we are still here. And then another day goes by, and then another. And as time passes and we find our way through each moment, we get a little stronger, and a little braver. There isn’t anything we can’t face. Even if we are convinced we can’t face it, we can. We are far more resilient than we believe we are, and as strong as we need to be. We don’t have to see the end at the beginning. All we need to do is get through today. We might have to take it one breath at a time, but we will take it, and we will manage. Each moment that passes moves us along a little bit. And bit by bit we will overcome.

There may be times when our decisions bring the walls crashing down around us and if that’s the case, we can accept our role in the disaster. We can learn from it and take all the lessons forward with us. We learn by doing and sometimes that means making mistakes. Even if they hurt deeply, mistakes teach us important lessons. We know more after than we knew before. It’s impossible to go through life without doing some things wrong. This life is all about learning, and even when it hurts, it’s important. We don’t know everything and even if we try to do everything right we’re going to stumble from time to time. We can take ownership of our actions, look at the situation clearly, learn all we can, do what is needed to make things right, and forgive ourselves. The road is long and there is time to correct our course.

If we’ve suffered a terrible blow because of decisions made by others, we may be devastated. Serious hurt takes time to heal. We have to take it as it comes but eventually it will ease and we’ll move forward. We may carry a scar with us, but a scar is just a reminder of where we’ve been, and not an indicator of where we’re going. Day by day, step by step we’ll find happiness again. There are a lot of ups and downs in life. The hard times hurt but they give us a deeper appreciation for the times when things go well. Joy is the absence of sorrow, but to feel true joy, we have to feel true sorrow. Painful days hurt but they carry blessings with them. As we navigate them, those blessings will become part of who we are.  Each blessing takes us closer to the person we most want to be.

Today if you’re going through a difficult time and feel overwhelmed, hang on. You really do have everything you need to succeed. There is nothing too difficult for you. Take it one step at a time. You have so much going for you. You can manage anything. Happiness is just outside the door. Open it. It’s waiting for you.

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Back and Forth

21 Mar

When we’re trying to accomplish something in our lives, if we want to find success, we have to move forward. We need to look at the situation objectively, weigh our options, and determine the path that will take us where we want to go. But life is full of distractions. There is a lot going on all the time. Other people in our lives have their own goals and interests, and although they may want to support ours, their focus is getting their own accomplishments completed. We can be side tracked when they get involved with us in ways that take our eyes off the road we want to travel. It’s like leaning a ladder up against a building in order to get to the roof, but only stepping on and off the first rung. We go forth and take the first step up, but then something happens and we step back down again to take care of it. Maybe we want to help someone else get something done, or hear something we want to clarify, or remember something we forgot. Back and forth we go, all the while staying busy but going nowhere. We can convince ourselves that because we are moving we are going forward but that isn’t always true. As long we let other things keep us from our goal, we’ll never get past the first rung.

There are a lot of reasons we lose our focus. Sometimes it’s because we aren’t sure we can accomplish the goal we’ve set. We want to, but may feel timid or afraid it might be too hard. We might make plans to go forward and even begin, but because we aren’t really sure we will succeed, are easily distracted and pulled away. We are naturally drawn to situations that make us feel comfortable. If the goal we want is stretching our abilities and we aren’t sure we can move forward, the discomfort of the unknown may move us toward something else. But we can be confident in any decision we make. We are certainly capable of doing anything we really want to do. We can be convinced we will succeed, and when we are, we will move forward. We can take the first step, and then the next, and the next, until we reach our goal.

They say timing is everything, and in a lot of situations that’s true. Sometimes we get stuck going back and forth and not moving forward because our lives aren’t in a place where we’re able to make the changes necessary. If we’re trying to change too much and it’s causing turmoil we can re-think our plan. We can look at the situation again, and determine if we need to wait. If we do, we can decide when we’ll try again, and set the goal aside for now. It doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It means we’re re-tooling to begin again later. We don’t have to accomplish everything today. There is time to get there, and when we’re ready and can successfully move forward, we will. There is no goal beyond our reach. With the proper planning and determination, we can accomplish anything.

Today if you’re frustrated because you haven’t moved forward with a goal you’re trying to achieve, take a look at all the parameters. Is this the best time to move forward? If it is, focus your eyes on the destination and do what is needed to get there. If you need to wait, think about when you can re-visit your plans and start again. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You are more capable than you realize. You can conquer anything. Make a plan that will work and take a step forward. The goal is within your reach. You will achieve it.

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