Archive | January, 2018

Knowing and Hoping

5 Jan

As we interact with others, either in our personal relationships or in passing, we learn how they respond to different situations and what we can expect from them.  It’s helpful to recognize their patterns and choices and have a clear expectation of their behaviors.  But sometimes we may hope their expected responses will change in ways that are better for them or will fit into our needs more effectively.  They say hope springs eternal, and in some ways it does.  If someone we’re close to often makes bad decisions and those decisions hurt them and those around them, we may hope they will change and our hope may make us believe something that isn’t real.  We must always be willing to face things as they are and understand we can only control our own lives and the decisions we make.  Even if we know what is best, even if we are sure we know the right way forward, if it’s someone else’s decision to make we have no control over the end result.  It takes a lot of energy to try to control situations that belong to someone else and no matter how much we put into our efforts, if the decisions aren’t ours to make, we will not change the outcome.  It’s best to step back, see the facts clearly, hope for the best, and then accept whatever choices are made.  We can control our lives any way we desire while allowing others to do the same and make their own choices despite what we hope for them.  Doing so will give us the freedom to move forward on our own road while still being available when needed.

When we love someone who is doing something destructive, it’s hard to stand by and watch as things go wrong.  We may offer counsel and advice if they are receptive, but then we must step back and let them make the decisions they desire.  It’s very hard to watch those we love suffer, especially if we are sure we know how to fix the situation.  We all learn from the things we experience, and ultimately every lesson must come from within.  We can let go and allow those around us to make their own choices and learn their own lessons, despite what we hope they will choose.

Facts may tell us all about how something works, how it looks, or what we can expect it to do but they can never predict our personal reactions and how they will affect us.  We really don’t know a stove is hot unless we touch it.  Until then it’s undefined information.  The same is true in our lives.  Most of what we do is done through trial and error.  We learn from the things we experience and those we love learn the same way.  It takes some of us more time than others, and we all take different roads on the journey.  We can hope for the best, while understanding and accepting whatever comes.  Life is a great teacher that allows each of us to learn our own way.  We can walk beside those around us, and let them choose their own path forward.

Today if you’re hoping someone you love will make a positive choice, do what you can to set a good example.  Be there to offer help when needed and let them choose for themselves.  Share your life with them while focusing on your own journey forward.  Live your life well and let your success light the way.

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Wasted Years

4 Jan

There are few times in life when we go from one place to another in a completely straight line with no interruptions or detours. Every journey we take has many twists and turns. We don’t live in a vacuum and are subject to all kinds of outside influences. There are others around us making all kinds of decisions we aren’t aware of which may affect the road ahead. We can adjust our direction with each new situation and in time, find our way to any destination. If we get stuck and years go by before we are able to see clearly and shake free to begin again, we may feel we’ve wasted our time. Looking back over years struggling with something that was never going to work can undermine our confidence and we may believe we’ve ruined our chances for success. Even if we don’t move forward, the time is never wasted. Whatever we’re focused on, and whatever we’re doing teaches us something new. There is no need to worry about what we haven’t accomplished. The future is ahead of us and we can begin again. Time spent spinning our wheels gives us time to grow so when the right moment arrives we are ready to move. We can change anything we desire and move forward. There isn’t any goal we can’t reach. The whole world is there for us when we’re ready to take it.

When we’re on a road trip and reach a stop sign it’s our signal to wait and watch before proceeding. In our lives we come upon many stop signs but sometimes we miss them because we are busy or distracted. If we forge ahead on a road that isn’t ready for us, or isn’t complete, we will not be able to proceed. We all face situations that are not good for us, places we shouldn’t go if we want to succeed, and people we should avoid. But if we miss the signs that warn us to stop we may not realize it until much time has passed and we are lost. Getting lost will not end our journey. Once we understand the situation, we can change our trajectory and find the right way forward.

Time is valuable and irreplaceable. Nobody lives forever or knows how much time they have. We can never change the past but we have complete control over our futures. If we’ve lost time doing things that haven’t moved us forward, we can modify our choices and begin again. We have all the wisdom, strength and power we need to change any situation we desire. We can let go of what is holding us back, and be free to find our way ahead. Every moment is a passage to the next. Choosing what we want the most, and heading toward the destinations we desire will bring us satisfaction and success. We can do anything. Nothing is out of reach and the best roads ahead are there waiting for us.

Today if you feel like you’ve wasted years doing something that distracted you from where you really want to be, straighten your journey going forward and begin again. You can achieve any success you desire and go anywhere you want to go. Shake off what has held you back and start forward. All your dreams are attainable and you will reach them. Trust yourself. You already have everything you need to succeed.

 

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The Frog

3 Jan

There is an old saying that if you want to cook a frog, put it in a pot of cold water and slowly heat it up.  It’s said that a frog will hop out of hot water but will sit in cold water and not notice the additional heat until it’s cooked.  If we’ve never wanted to cook a frog we may never need to test this hypothesis, but we may still experience the same process.  If someone wants us to do something they know we would never agree to, they may begin by including us in a situation we would find acceptable and then, slowly and carefully, modify the process until they reach their desired result.  Nobody is exempt from the deceit of others and there may be times when we may be shocked to find ourselves in situations we would never have chosen had we seen all the facts up front.  If we’re involved with someone we like or admire, and they slowly heat the water around us taking us where we don’t want to go, we may not notice anything until we’re metaphorically cooked.  We don’t know what we don’t know, and if we’re connected to someone who has secret plans, we may follow along until we end up in the wrong place.  It’s hard to believe anyone we care about and trust would do anything to mislead or deceive us, but it may happen.  When we finally see everything clearly we may feel like a fool wondering how we didn’t see the signs.  It’s easy to look back and see everything openly but if someone is blocking our vision it’s impossible to see the whole picture.  It’s like walking through fog.  Everything is muted and unclear, and even if we try we can’t see everything that is before us.  When the fog lifts it’s easy to look back at the path and see everything we missed.  In time all truth becomes evident.  Every deception will be uncovered and when it is, if we need to, we can correct our course.  We never have to continue on any road we don’t want.  We can turn and move forward toward success.

Shame is a very powerful emotion and can be quite destructive.  It may make us feel inadequate and unworthy.  We may feel intense shame if we discover we’ve fallen for a lie and taken our lives somewhere we don’t want to be.  We only answer for the choices we make and if we’ve been tricked into believing lies, the responsibility belongs to those who own them. If we find we’ve been fooled and manipulated, although we may be hurt, there is no need to feel ashamed.  It’s good to believe in and trust others.  If we are misled because of that belief and trust, those who have abused us are accountable.  We need not disparage ourselves for falling down.  We can stand tall, learn everything possible from the experience, and walk away with confidence knowing more than we did before.

Life is an incredible teacher if we are willing to listen. There are unlimited lessons to learn and everything we experience teaches us something new.  If we believe someone who lies to us, we may fall.  If we learn everything we can from the experience and take that information forward, remembering all the clues we learned, we will be more successful in preventing the same thing from happening again.  We don’t have to fall for the same story twice.  We can learn to feel the heat and step away before the water starts to boil.  Everything we need to be successful is already inside us.  We can watch, listen, and learn, and be wiser going forward.  Every possibility is available to us, and there isn’t anything we can’t comprehend and understand.

Today if you’ve discovered you’ve been tricked into a situation you don’t want, look ahead and decide how to correct your way forward.  A detour will never keep you from your goals.  You are wise and strong, and capable of understanding everything around you.  Keep your eyes on the road ahead and your path will become clear.  Every success you desire is waiting for you.  Nothing will hold you back and you will find the way.

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Starting Over

2 Jan

Every day we have the opportunity to change anything we desire in our lives. If there is something we don’t want to continue doing, someplace or situation we want to leave, or anything else we want to modify, the chance is always there for us. Sometimes we feel the need to change simply because we want something new or what we’re doing isn’t making us happy. Other times, outside events trigger the impetus to move in a new direction. The beginning of a new year, the end of a job or relationship, a move to a new location or many other events may prepare us to turn our lives toward something new. We have unlimited chances to change anything we desire and when we’re ready the process of modification and adjustment can begin. There are no limitations on what we can do and we need not stay on any road that isn’t taking us where we want to go. Change is always possible. We can define the changes we want to make and then do what is needed to make them a reality. Nothing is out of reach. We can do anything we truly desire and create the lives we want most. We are always in control of our decisions and no matter what is happening around us or what influences press us, we can choose any path we desire. We have all the control and wisdom needed to do anything. Once we decide where we want to go and what we want to do, we can change direction and move toward success. Life is an incredible blessing and can be fulfilling and satisfying. Everything is in our power. There isn’t anything we can’t do.

Sometimes we may end up in situations and patterns that don’t work for us. Perhaps we adopt behaviors that become routine but aren’t taking us where we want to go. Maybe we continue something that confounds our ability to achieve a personal goal, or someone depends on us too much and the time we spend with them keeps us from doing what we need to move forward in our own lives. Or we find ourselves caught up in someone else’s complications and problems in ways that keep us from our own focus. There are endless distractions around us but we can manage our time effectively and keep our eyes focused on what we really want.

There is no one right way to live life. We can design our lives any way we desire and work toward any goal we choose. We can honor traditions and still live our lives in ways that express our own individuality. No matter how long we’ve been doing something one way, we can start over and begin again on a new path. We are free to choose anything we desire and nothing can prevent us from achieving success. Life is long and we have all the chances we need to create the lives we want the most.

Today if you feel like you need to start over and change your direction, look ahead and choose the path that will take you where you most want to go. Make decisions based on the success you desire and move forward with courage. You have everything you need to achieve anything. Nothing is too difficult for you and you will reach any destination you desire. All your dreams can come true. Start today and move forward with confidence. Everything is there for you and you will reach it.

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