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Knowing and Hoping

5 Jan

As we interact with others, either in our personal relationships or in passing, we learn how they respond to different situations and what we can expect from them.  It’s helpful to recognize their patterns and choices and have a clear expectation of their behaviors.  But sometimes we may hope their expected responses will change in ways that are better for them or will fit into our needs more effectively.  They say hope springs eternal, and in some ways it does.  If someone we’re close to often makes bad decisions and those decisions hurt them and those around them, we may hope they will change and our hope may make us believe something that isn’t real.  We must always be willing to face things as they are and understand we can only control our own lives and the decisions we make.  Even if we know what is best, even if we are sure we know the right way forward, if it’s someone else’s decision to make we have no control over the end result.  It takes a lot of energy to try to control situations that belong to someone else and no matter how much we put into our efforts, if the decisions aren’t ours to make, we will not change the outcome.  It’s best to step back, see the facts clearly, hope for the best, and then accept whatever choices are made.  We can control our lives any way we desire while allowing others to do the same and make their own choices despite what we hope for them.  Doing so will give us the freedom to move forward on our own road while still being available when needed.

When we love someone who is doing something destructive, it’s hard to stand by and watch as things go wrong.  We may offer counsel and advice if they are receptive, but then we must step back and let them make the decisions they desire.  It’s very hard to watch those we love suffer, especially if we are sure we know how to fix the situation.  We all learn from the things we experience, and ultimately every lesson must come from within.  We can let go and allow those around us to make their own choices and learn their own lessons, despite what we hope they will choose.

Facts may tell us all about how something works, how it looks, or what we can expect it to do but they can never predict our personal reactions and how they will affect us.  We really don’t know a stove is hot unless we touch it.  Until then it’s undefined information.  The same is true in our lives.  Most of what we do is done through trial and error.  We learn from the things we experience and those we love learn the same way.  It takes some of us more time than others, and we all take different roads on the journey.  We can hope for the best, while understanding and accepting whatever comes.  Life is a great teacher that allows each of us to learn our own way.  We can walk beside those around us, and let them choose their own path forward.

Today if you’re hoping someone you love will make a positive choice, do what you can to set a good example.  Be there to offer help when needed and let them choose for themselves.  Share your life with them while focusing on your own journey forward.  Live your life well and let your success light the way.

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