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Tag Archives: Heat

Undone

11 Oct

Conflict is a normal part of life. We’re all different and our ideas about how things should go are specific to our own experiences and desires. Although we may agree with others on some things, there will likely be times when what we want is in direct opposition to the thoughts of those around us. If the decision doesn’t impact us or have a lasting affect on our lives, we may politely disagree and let it go. But if it has a big influence over what we’re doing or stops us from where we want to go, we may get into an intense situation as we push for our views to be accepted and refuse to move toward the other side. Severe disagreement may create anger that might overtake us if we aren’t careful. We may become completely undone and lose control if the issue is extremely important to us and we cannot abide the idea of letting it go. Unfortunately, if anger takes over we may act out in ways that deteriorate the discussion and lose our ability to convince the other side to consider our viewpoint. It can be hard to be calm when we feel we’re losing something very important. It can be hard to listen to the other side and try to understand their position. But ranting and raving, raising our voices or in other ways impacting the situation negatively will never get us what we want. It’s impossible to bring others over to our side by making them feel bad. We are always in control of our behavior – good or bad. When we’re facing difficult situations and feel our emotions start to rise, we can step back and take an objective view of things. There are always possible compromises and if we keep our heads we’ll find them. We can achieve any goal we desire by staying focused and work through any complications that arise. Everything is possible if we are willing to find the way through.

Some people love to argue. They like the intensity of heated discussion and the chance to prove they are right, no matter what the issue is. Arguing for the sake of arguing rarely brings any benefit to those involved. Plenty of conflict will present itself without trying to invent more. It’s better to diffuse it when we it arises and find a way forward that includes everyone’s input. There are always many ways to do anything and we can find an inclusive and supportive road going forward.

There will be times when no matter what we say or how convincing we are, we will not get our way. We may have to change our focus and do things differently than we prefer. Being flexible and willing to go another way takes patience and self-control. Although we may not be on the road we want, we are creative enough to find our way forward. There are endless roads to every destination and we can find our way ahead even if we must take a detour to get there.

Today if you’re in a situation that feels impossible and you’re in opposition to what you’re being asked, try to be flexible and find a compromise that will work. There are endless possibilities available and you’ll find one that fits. Be patient with compromise and keep your eyes focused on your goals. Everything is possible and you will reach the destination you seek.

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The Frog

3 Jan

There is an old saying that if you want to cook a frog, put it in a pot of cold water and slowly heat it up.  It’s said that a frog will hop out of hot water but will sit in cold water and not notice the additional heat until it’s cooked.  If we’ve never wanted to cook a frog we may never need to test this hypothesis, but we may still experience the same process.  If someone wants us to do something they know we would never agree to, they may begin by including us in a situation we would find acceptable and then, slowly and carefully, modify the process until they reach their desired result.  Nobody is exempt from the deceit of others and there may be times when we may be shocked to find ourselves in situations we would never have chosen had we seen all the facts up front.  If we’re involved with someone we like or admire, and they slowly heat the water around us taking us where we don’t want to go, we may not notice anything until we’re metaphorically cooked.  We don’t know what we don’t know, and if we’re connected to someone who has secret plans, we may follow along until we end up in the wrong place.  It’s hard to believe anyone we care about and trust would do anything to mislead or deceive us, but it may happen.  When we finally see everything clearly we may feel like a fool wondering how we didn’t see the signs.  It’s easy to look back and see everything openly but if someone is blocking our vision it’s impossible to see the whole picture.  It’s like walking through fog.  Everything is muted and unclear, and even if we try we can’t see everything that is before us.  When the fog lifts it’s easy to look back at the path and see everything we missed.  In time all truth becomes evident.  Every deception will be uncovered and when it is, if we need to, we can correct our course.  We never have to continue on any road we don’t want.  We can turn and move forward toward success.

Shame is a very powerful emotion and can be quite destructive.  It may make us feel inadequate and unworthy.  We may feel intense shame if we discover we’ve fallen for a lie and taken our lives somewhere we don’t want to be.  We only answer for the choices we make and if we’ve been tricked into believing lies, the responsibility belongs to those who own them. If we find we’ve been fooled and manipulated, although we may be hurt, there is no need to feel ashamed.  It’s good to believe in and trust others.  If we are misled because of that belief and trust, those who have abused us are accountable.  We need not disparage ourselves for falling down.  We can stand tall, learn everything possible from the experience, and walk away with confidence knowing more than we did before.

Life is an incredible teacher if we are willing to listen. There are unlimited lessons to learn and everything we experience teaches us something new.  If we believe someone who lies to us, we may fall.  If we learn everything we can from the experience and take that information forward, remembering all the clues we learned, we will be more successful in preventing the same thing from happening again.  We don’t have to fall for the same story twice.  We can learn to feel the heat and step away before the water starts to boil.  Everything we need to be successful is already inside us.  We can watch, listen, and learn, and be wiser going forward.  Every possibility is available to us, and there isn’t anything we can’t comprehend and understand.

Today if you’ve discovered you’ve been tricked into a situation you don’t want, look ahead and decide how to correct your way forward.  A detour will never keep you from your goals.  You are wise and strong, and capable of understanding everything around you.  Keep your eyes on the road ahead and your path will become clear.  Every success you desire is waiting for you.  Nothing will hold you back and you will find the way.