Archive | September, 2015

What Really Matters

10 Sep

Like static on the radio, there is a lot of noise in our lives. The constant background thrumming of things going by, the din of those around us, the activity that never ceases, and the continual rhythm of each day. We are distracted by the sounds, and all the things we need to do. Things go right and things go wrong, and we’re caught up in them no matter which way they turn. And as each second passes our opportunity to make a difference passes with it. What are we doing with our time? Are we making an impact? Are we being an influence for good? Sometimes it seems we aren’t even aware of the time going by, and before we know it, it’s gone.

We rush through our days, and then something happens that stops the clock. Something so important that time seems to stand still. It might be a wonderful experience like when we meet the love of our lives, or it might be something very sad as an unexpected death. When those events come to us we tune our focus and sharpen our vision. We wake up, become alert, and see everything clearly. The distractions fade, the mists of busyness lift, and we are there, completely in the moment. And we remember again what’s really important.

This life flies by quickly. We think it will last forever, and then we look up and another year has passed. What have we done during that time? Are we happy with where we are? Are we on the road we really want to be on or are we treading water? Did we look away when we had the chance to go forward? We need to remember who we are and pay attention. We only have today. Nobody knows what will come tomorrow but we can make a difference today. If we grab hold of it, if we make it count, today could be the best day of our lives. Our days are what we make of them, and we’re in control of everything we do. Take control. Do what is most important and make them count.

Today be alert to what’s happening in your life. See everything and make it the best you can. Live each moment and remember this day will never return. It will leave and never look back. Don’t worry about tomorrow. This moment is where we are. Make sure you live it the way you really want to, and focus on what’s really important. You have so much to offer. Remind the world you’re here, and be the influence you want to be.

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Got Your Back

9 Sep

Recently a police officer was shot to death while pumping gas. It was a horrible, malicious and cowardly act, and authorities have arrested a suspect they believe committed the crime. After that terrible event, while at a gas station with his mother, a sixteen year old boy saw another police officer pumping gas. Concerned about her, he walked up to the officer and asked if he could watch her back while she was standing by her car. Surprised but delighted, the officer agreed. Nothing happened and all went well, but the courage and determination demonstrated by that young man are an example to us all. Who has our backs, and how can we watch out for those around us?

We go through our days, busily completing our various tasks and focused on what we’re doing. Sometimes we don’t pay much attention to what’s going on around us. But everywhere we go there are others just like us, busy getting things done. We get used to seeing them and we don’t really watch what’s going on. But if we take a moment to look up and see what’s around us, who’s walking by, who’s in front of or behind us, we can more closely connect to our surroundings. Being aware is an important facet of any situation. We’re safer when we really see where we are, what’s going on, and what we’re doing.

If we pay more attention to those around us, we can be more helpful. We don’t have to offer to protect a police officer to have someone’s back, but we could help out in other small ways. Maybe we could open a door, or help lift something heavy, or smile at a fussing child, or just say hello. The people around us every day are connected to us. We’re all part of the same big family. We need to watch out for them, and let them watch out for us. Most of us care about others, but perhaps we don’t take as much time as we could to express that care. We can be more involved by helping out, and having their backs. And we can let them watch out for us as well.

Today look around as you go about your tasks and notice those near you. What’s going on? Who’s standing beside you? Is there some way you could help out just a little? Is there some way you can show you care? If there is, do whatever you can, and you’ll feel better knowing you are doing your part. Others will see your example, and like a stone thrown into a pond, the rippling of your good works will create others. Be the one to have someone’s back today. And when others offer to help you out, be grateful.

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Just As You Are

8 Sep

We all have things about ourselves we want to change. Maybe we want to lose weight, exercise more, eat better, read more often, learn more about world events, be stronger, become more patient – the list is endless. Maybe we’re working on what we want to change now, or maybe we’ve put it off because of other priorities. Whatever we’re doing, there’s a chance we may be critical of ourselves because we haven’t yet accomplished all we want to. We’re harder on ourselves than anyone else. We push and push, and when we don’t accomplish all we think we should, sometimes we’re critical. We may expect to be perfect even though we know we can’t be. Unfortunately, that kind of thinking undermines us as we go forward.

I recently got a letter from a relative who included an old picture of me they had found from many years ago. When I looked at it, I was surprised at how good I looked. I remembered when that picture was taken feeling homely and undesirable. Looking at the picture now, I see a very attractive and appealing person. But that’s not how I felt at the time. I was highly critical of my appearance, and looking back I can see I was mistaken. We expect so much of ourselves, always seeing the imperfections, and wanting to be more than we think we are. We spend a lot of time looking ahead, trying to fix this or that, hoping that one day we’ll achieve whatever will make us the way we think we should be.

But what if we accepted ourselves today? Just as we are. Nobody is perfect – we all know that, but somehow it seems we make exceptions to the rule with regard to ourselves. We know nobody is perfect, but somehow we think we should be. The truth is we’re fine exactly the way we are. We’re the right size for where we are now, we have everything we need for what we’re doing, and we’re doing the best we can for the moment. We can change things in time, but for now, we’re exactly where we need to be. There’s a lot of press about loving others and that’s important, but it’s also important that we love ourselves. We’re here, we’re living our lives, and we’re exactly as we should be now.

Today if you’re feeling like you aren’t enough, like you should be better somehow, stop and see how wonderful you are right now. You do many things well and some things very well. Recognize those, and remember today is the best day of your life because you’re living it. Be happy with who you are, and what you’ve done. Work on the things you want to change, but as you go forward don’t forget how far you’ve come already. You have a lot going for you. Embrace that and be confident. You really are all that.

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Checking Out

7 Sep

Our lives are busy. We have things we have to do every day, things we need to get done, and responsibilities we can’t ignore. We sometimes make lists to get everything organized and check things off as we accomplish them. Get gas – check. Call the exterminator – check. Go to the dry cleaner – check. Buy batteries – check. And so it goes. We have sticky notes to remind us in our car, and on our mirror in the bathroom, and we’ve got reminders programmed into our phones. No matter how many things we get done, there is always more to do. Like bees in a field of flowers, we flit from one task to the next, busy and determined.

As we go about all these responsibilities, we may forget about taking time for ourselves. When we’re making our lists and programming our phones, we may not include a time out. But time out just for us is as important as all the tasks we need to take care of. A lot depends on us, so it’s important that we take care of ourselves. That means taking time to recharge and find our center again. Even bees take time out to rest, and so should we. We can add it to our list of things to get done. It seems like a simple step but when we don’t actually put it on the list, it tends to get neglected. What is the most restful and rewarding thing we can do today? What will rejuvenate us and help us go forward? Whatever it is, we need to get it on our lists of things to do.

Maybe we’d love a short break to go to our favorite coffee shop for a drink and a snack. Maybe we’d like to relax and read a book for fifteen minutes, or take a walk around the local park. Or maybe it would be perfect to just sit and do nothing. Whatever makes us happy, whatever gives us respite, whatever reminds us that we’re important, is something we should schedule for. I have a friend who writes “Simon” on her schedule every day for half an hour to spend time on something just for her. On her work schedule it looks like a meeting, and when her phone reminds her it’s time for Simon and she’s with others, she excuses herself and steps away. No matter what’s on her list that needs to get done, she makes sure Simon gets on it too. She makes time for herself a priority. When we become a priority in our busy lives, we’ll be happier, and that will help us accomplish everything else.

Today if you’re busy with lots to do, be sure to schedule a time out just for you. No matter how much there is to get done, take a short break and do something that will refresh you. You do so much. You deserve to do this for yourself. Check out for a while. Remember that you’re as important as anything else you’ll do today. Time is the best thing you can give to yourself. Schedule it in and take it.

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Your Favorite

6 Sep

Recently I was talking to a friend whom I really admire. She said she had been discussing what her favorite bad feeling was with an associate. She explained that our favorite bad feeling is what we most often turn to when we’re feeling low. For her it was discouragement. She told me that when things go wrong, she always feels discouraged. It’s like a reflex for her, and now that she’s defined it, she’s working on changing it. She asked me what my favorite bad feeling was and I wasn’t sure how to answer. After thinking about it, I realized that I also go to one specific feeling when things go wrong. It was interesting to think about and now that I understand it, I’m working on making it a more positive reflex.

Determining what our favorite bad feeling is will help us discover more about ourselves. If we can identify where we go when we feel bad, if it’s negative we may change how we process disappointment, and turn to something more positive. For instance, if, like my friend, we automatically go to discouragement we can try to recognize when that’s happening, and think about something different. Maybe instead we could think about what we’re learning, or about what the next step to move forward would be. Or if we turn to fear when things go wrong, perhaps we could instead recognize that we are strong enough to face the disappointment, and brave enough to go through it. Understanding what we’re doing that’s sabotaging us is the first step.

Our personal patterns are changeable. None of us is made of stone. We are flexible and able to learn. But our personal patterns are strong, so it takes time and effort if we really want to change them. If we find we’re doing things that hold us back, that hurt us, or that make us feel inadequate, we can change them. But first we have to identify them. If we take the time, and pay attention, we can accomplish it. And then we can begin the journey to let go of what we don’t want, and replace it with something that makes us feel strong and capable.

Today if things aren’t going well, and you’re disappointed, pay attention to how you feel. Think about when you’ve faced difficult times in your life and see if you can identify where your feelings generally go. If it’s a negative reaction, think about how you could change it. You are perfectly capable of changing anything you like. You are both strong and flexible. Determine what’s best for you and do what you need to make sure you get it. Nobody deserves the very best more than you. You’re worth it all.

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