Your Favorite

6 Sep

Recently I was talking to a friend whom I really admire. She said she had been discussing what her favorite bad feeling was with an associate. She explained that our favorite bad feeling is what we most often turn to when we’re feeling low. For her it was discouragement. She told me that when things go wrong, she always feels discouraged. It’s like a reflex for her, and now that she’s defined it, she’s working on changing it. She asked me what my favorite bad feeling was and I wasn’t sure how to answer. After thinking about it, I realized that I also go to one specific feeling when things go wrong. It was interesting to think about and now that I understand it, I’m working on making it a more positive reflex.

Determining what our favorite bad feeling is will help us discover more about ourselves. If we can identify where we go when we feel bad, if it’s negative we may change how we process disappointment, and turn to something more positive. For instance, if, like my friend, we automatically go to discouragement we can try to recognize when that’s happening, and think about something different. Maybe instead we could think about what we’re learning, or about what the next step to move forward would be. Or if we turn to fear when things go wrong, perhaps we could instead recognize that we are strong enough to face the disappointment, and brave enough to go through it. Understanding what we’re doing that’s sabotaging us is the first step.

Our personal patterns are changeable. None of us is made of stone. We are flexible and able to learn. But our personal patterns are strong, so it takes time and effort if we really want to change them. If we find we’re doing things that hold us back, that hurt us, or that make us feel inadequate, we can change them. But first we have to identify them. If we take the time, and pay attention, we can accomplish it. And then we can begin the journey to let go of what we don’t want, and replace it with something that makes us feel strong and capable.

Today if things aren’t going well, and you’re disappointed, pay attention to how you feel. Think about when you’ve faced difficult times in your life and see if you can identify where your feelings generally go. If it’s a negative reaction, think about how you could change it. You are perfectly capable of changing anything you like. You are both strong and flexible. Determine what’s best for you and do what you need to make sure you get it. Nobody deserves the very best more than you. You’re worth it all.

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