Archive | July, 2015

Hit It Again

9 Jul

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were trying to make something work that just would not? Have you ever tried, and tried to push something through, something you were so sure would work, but it just wouldn’t go? Sometimes despite everything we believe, everything we do, and everything we try, sometimes things just don’t work out. It isn’t a question of intellect. It isn’t a question of determination. It’s a question of fit.

This life is filled with twists and turns, ideas, plans, and changes. We can attempt to do anything we want to. Sometimes we get an idea that seems good, but when we put it into action it just doesn’t work out. I have a friend who always wanted to live in a certain state. He was sure he would be happy there, he had read about it, thought about it, and made what he believed was a good decision to move there. But once he arrived, nothing worked out. He was stunned to learn upon arrival that because of changes in the economy, the job he had lined up had been eliminated. Although disappointed, he wasn’t too worried thinking he could find something else quickly. He had some savings, and decided to remain. However, with no income, he had to choose an apartment in a difficult location, but thinking it was only temporary he decided he could deal with that. Despite his extensive education and experience he wasn’t able to find a position right away. He got a couple of part time jobs, but they weren’t enough, and he watched as his savings dwindled to nothing. Still, he was determined to live there so he pressed forward. He pushed and pushed, trying so hard to make the decision fit, but nothing worked. After a couple of awful years, he decided he didn’t want to continue, and began looking for positions in other locations. He got an offer for a terrific job in a different state, and moved. He was disappointed with how things turned out but sometimes no matter how we plan ahead, no matter how sure we are, sometimes the plan fails. Sometimes it’s just not the right fit for us.

When this happens, it’s like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. We push it, we hammer it, we think if we just hit it again it’ll work, but it just doesn’t fit. We need to regroup, realign, and find a square hole, which might be right next to the round one we’ve been working so hard on. Life is unpredictable. We try to make good decisions, and often we do. But sometimes we don’t know the whole story until after the decision is made. And when we finally get the whole story, we realize the decision won’t work. We can feel like failures when that happens. Why didn’t we see it? Why didn’t we know? But we haven’t really failed. We just got more information that clarified the situation for us. It may be painful, but getting the information is the most important part. And once we have it, we can start over. We can adjust the plan, and begin again.

Today if you feel you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, and nothing is working, look at the whole picture. Are you trying to make something work that doesn’t fit you? If you are, change your direction. What do you need to do to find your place? How can you adjust things so you are happy again? Take some time to think about it, and then, make the change. Be confident. You’ll figure this out, and you’ll fix it. You deserve to be happy, and feel like your life fits. Today do what’s needed to make that happen.

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Dream Dream Dream

8 Jul

We all have dreams of things we want to do, places we want to see, and goals we want to accomplish. Sometimes they are big dreams, like opening our own business, and sometimes they are small, like riding on a train. We’re all different, and so are our dreams. Big or small, if we haven’t realized them yet, we think about them from time to time. They wait for us to remember them, and make them come true.

The realities of our lives don’t always allow us to realize our dreams when we want to. Sometimes we don’t have the finances we need, sometimes we aren’t in the right place, and sometimes, we’re just too busy. Life can get complicated and crazy, and we can be overcome with work, family responsibilities, or projects we’re doing. Time gets away from us. We can get so caught up in what we need to do, and what has to be done, that we may forget about the dreams we have outside of the chaos. But then we take a break, we sit down and let our minds drift, and there they are – those things we always said we would do. Those things we really want to do. They’re still there, waiting patiently for us to revisit them. Waiting for us to start.

When we’re ready, we can make a plan to achieve whatever we’ve been dreaming of. We can choose what we really want to do first, and start taking steps to make it to happen. Say we want to travel the world. Instead of having the undefined idea of “the world,” we could begin by picking the first place we would like to visit. Then we could figure out what it would take to get there in resources, and time. And then we could set a date to go. Once we have a plan in place, we can make adjustments if needed, but if we stick to it, we will accomplish our goal, and make that dream a reality.

Dreaming is great. We wonder about things, we imagine how they will go, and it’s exciting to think about them. But at some point we have to decide if we really want to do them or not. If we’ve changed, and really don’t care about a dream we’ve had, we can let it go. But if we really still want it, and it won’t go away, there is no better time than now to begin planning for it.

Today if you’re thinking about something you’ve always wanted to do, take the first step toward making it happen. Do something – research the parameters, make some calls, get information, and begin moving forward. You deserve to have all your dreams come true. But life won’t give them to you. Only you can make them happen. Start now. Set the date. Get ready, and before you know it, you’ll be there. They say that when we’re dying it’s not the things we’ve done that we regret, but the things we didn’t do. Let’s do everything we want to do instead of just dream about them. It’s great to dream. But living the dream is even better. Let’s live all the dreams we can. Today is the best time to start.

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Pointing North

7 Jul

Have you ever been lost? Have you ever taken a wrong turn, and found yourself somewhere you didn’t recognize? Have you ever walked a little too far, and missed the path you meant to take? We all get lost sometimes. It can be unsettling, and confusing. Getting lost is part of life. Nothing ever goes exactly as planned, and sometimes, in the twists and turns that happen, we lose our way. And before we know it, we’re far, far away from where we intended to go. We’re at a destination that seems foreign. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s not the end of the road.

There are a lot of influences on us every day. People who want us to do things a certain way, or be a certain way. Sometimes because of the situation we do as we’re asked, and if we do that enough we can forget where we’re going. We can forget who we really are. It’s possible to wake up one day, and realize that the life we’re living is nothing like the life we really want. It’s nowhere near where we really want to be. We took a turn, which lead to another turn, and another, and where we’ve ended up is not at all where we thought we were going.

If we determine that we are not on the right road, the only way to get to where we want to go is to stop, and reset our course. There is inside us inspiration, like a compass, that always points to the person we really are. It’s always there to guide us, but we have to listen. If all we can hear are the directions of those around us saying, “Go here,” or “Go there,” we won’t recognize our own compass telling us which way is right for us. But it’s always there to remind us. When we are ready to get to who we really are, and where we really want to be, we need to listen to it. We can always alter our course. We can always retrace our steps. Nothing is permanent, and everything can be changed. Change isn’t always easy, but if the change brings us back to the road we want to be on, it will be rewarding, and worth whatever it takes.

Today, if you’re feeling like you’re not where you really want to be, if your life isn’t on the road that will take you there, you can change your course, and begin again. You can choose a new direction. You deserve the life you want the most. You deserve every happiness. You can do this your way, and you can succeed. Today, hear your personal inspiration. Listen to your compass. If you’ve been lost, it will guide you back. You know the way back, you’ve just forgotten for a while. Today, listen and remember. And then, take the first step to getting there.

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The Illusion of Control

6 Jul

We have very little control in our lives. We can’t often control what happens to us, we can’t control what other people do, we can’t control what we get exposed to, and basically all we can really control is our behavior. That’s it. But sometimes we may get confused, and think we have more control than we actually have. We may think we can control situations, or other people. Many of us have had experiences with people who’ve tried to control us. Maybe we’ve been the one who’s tried to control other people, or outcomes. It rarely works, but it’s a pattern for some of us.

As we go through this life we gain experience. That experience teaches us, and often helps us understand things better. Because of our experience, we may think we really know what is best for someone else. We may think we have the answers to a problem they are experiencing. And maybe we do. But whether we have the answers or not, we cannot make anyone do anything. We may offer suggestions, but their decisions are theirs to make. If we start telling people what to do, how to do it, and when to do it, and we are not in authority over them, we fail. We are not in charge of the human race. The human race gets to do whatever it wants to. And even if that turns out to be something we would never do, even if it hurts others, even if it’s the dumbest thing we’ve ever seen – it’s not ours to control.

It’s hard to watch those around us make decisions that hurt them. It’s hard to see them confused, and lost, especially if we think we know how to make things better. What we can do is offer our support, and make suggestions if they are open to them, but then, we must let them make their own choices. We can’t make anyone do things our way, and if we offer advice and they don’t take it, that is their option. A lot of people think they can tell us how to live our lives, even people who don’t really know about our lives. But the control over our lives belongs to us alone. We get to make all the decisions. And the same is true for those around us. They get to make their own decisions. Let them. We can be there if they need us, but they are entitled to make their own choices.

Today if you’re struggling with control issues – either yours or someone in your life – remember that your life is the only one you get to control, but you get to control all of it. If someone is telling you how things should be, listen and take whatever advice from them that helps you, and let the rest go. If you feel the need to tell someone else what they should do, remember their life is theirs to manage. It doesn’t belong to you. Control is an illusion most of the time. Control yourself, your decisions, your behavior, and your attitude. Let the rest go. It’s a lot easier just to carry your own load. Carry that. Let everyone else carry theirs.

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Forest and the Trees

5 Jul

When we are working on complex issues, and there are a lot of details, it’s easy to get caught up in them. We try to figure out some tiny aspect that’s eluding us, and if we focus so hard on it we can lose sight of the big picture. When that happens all we can see is a small part of what we’re trying to solve. In some situations we have to take the problem apart, piece by piece, but other times it’s important to see the whole picture to get to the solution. There is a saying, “We can’t see the forest for the trees.” There can be literally thousands of trees in a forest, but if we are focused only on the bark of one tree, only see the patterns in that small section of bark and don’t look up, we can forget where we are. We can lose sight of the entire forest.

Complicated issues, by their very nature, tend to have a lot of moving parts, and a lot of things to consider. There are the other people involved, the timing, the costs if they must be considered, the method for solving the issue, and perhaps a dozen other factors to think about. If we get too tied up in one segment, if we expend all our energies in figuring out that small piece, we may never figure out how to put all the pieces together. We need to step back, and see the entire picture. What does everything need to look like when it’s done? Where do we need to be? How can everything work together?

Stepping back when we have a lot at stake takes practice. If the issue is intense, and we are emotionally invested, it’s even harder. But if we can stop analyzing for a moment, step back two paces, and look at the entire situation, the answers are likely to come. If we want to put together a jigsaw puzzle, we can’t just look at the corner pieces, and try to figure out what it will look like completed. We have to dump all the pieces out, and then look at the whole picture on the box to get an idea of where things will go. Without that, we would be lost, and the puzzle would never be done.

Today if you’re stumped working on a complicated situation, stop and step back. Look at the whole problem again, and remember where you’re trying to go. Imagine it completed, imagine it solved, and think about what it would look like. See the entire thing. Your focus will broaden, and those answers you are looking for will rise. They say the devil is in the details, and if we get caught up in the details, that can certainly be true. You will complete this project, you will solve this problem, and you will figure out all the pieces. You can see it all when you step back. So step back, and then go forward. You’ll get there. You’re closer now than you’ve ever been.

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