Tag Archives: Time

Star of the Show

13 Feb

When we’re watching movies, there are often a lot of people on the screen and many things going on. There is a lot of sensory stimulation with the music, the script, and scene movement. If it’s an action movie it can be hard to catch everything that’s happening. But no matter what’s going on or how many different characters there are, our attention is focused on the star of the show. There is always one main character who carries the story. Our lives aren’t movies but there are lots of things going on all the time and many people coming and going every minute, and we are the star of the show. We are the most important person even when we’re focused on others and what we’re going through is captivating. We can be selfless and help those around us and address all the scenarios and situations that come, but in the end if we aren’t taking care of ourselves we won’t be as effective as we could be. The first person who needs our attention is us. If we don’t meet our personal needs, we won’t be able to care for anyone else. Most of us will not get “star treatment” from others as we go through our lives, but we can give it to ourselves and make sure we have everything we need to be healthy and strong. We are the stars of our own lives, and we deserve to take the best care of ourselves we possibly can. If we do, we will have all the strength and wisdom we need to help others and be an asset to the world around us.

When we fly on planes and go through the safety drill before the flight, the flight attendants always explain that if oxygen is needed, we must put our masks on first and then help those around us. We must make sure we are able to help by taking care of our needs first. That’s true in our personal lives as well. No matter what we’re going through or what trials we’re facing, we need to figuratively make sure our masks are securely fastened and we’re getting the oxygen we need before we attempt to assist those around us. We must be first on our list to ensure we have everything we need before we extend ourselves.

It is noble and valiant to serve others. It’s good to sacrifice our time to help when we’re asked and be available to those who need us. Living a life focused solely on our own personal needs and wants and discounting those around us will not bring us long term satisfaction or happiness. There is much gratification to be gained by extending ourselves and being helpful. But helping others requires personal strength and courage. We must build up our own personal energy before we can share it. We can be kind and helpful and still take the time we need to care for ourselves. We are the most important person in our lives and when we remember to give ourselves everything we need first, we will have enough to serve others.

Today if you’ve been neglecting what you need to be strong and happy, take some time for yourself. You deserve the very best of everything and you can get it. Remember how important you are. We all need you in our lives and want what’s best for you. Give that to yourself today and you’ll find happiness and peace and have the strength you need.

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The Same

6 Jan

When we go through bad experiences that make a big impression on us and impact us deeply, we may get stuck. Moments that are intensely painful may alter the way we see things going forward. If we’ve faced a very hard trial, or one that has hurt us severely, we may struggle with self-confidence. Life is full of experiences and some of them can be very difficult. But our experiences are only passages and we can navigate through them, learn from them and then let them go. If we hold onto the past, we may find we are unable to live fully in the moment where we are. If we focus on something that is behind us and relive it again and again in our minds, all our days going forward will look the same and we may miss the full experience life has to offer us. Each day is filled with possibilities and if we are in the moment, living now, we may fully embrace them and enhance our lives. We must let go of the past if we want our present and our futures to be filled with promise. What’s behind us will never return. There is nothing we can do to change it. We can let it go, and move forward with confidence.

The human mind is complex and capable of managing many things at once. We can adjust and adapt to virtually anything that comes to us and we can figure out any problems we may face. But if we are constantly pre-occupied with something that has already happened and can never be changed, we may go around and around thinking about it and reliving it. There is no way to re-write history. There is no way to alter what has already occurred and the best we can do is learn all we can from the experience and then let it go. It’s not easy to overcome a serious setback or let go of an extreme disappointment. But rehashing it over and over again, revisiting it endlessly to see if we can uncover some hidden meaning or try to figure out why it happened, will never help us going forward. Our lives are precious and each day is a gift. We can learn from the past but if we want to be truly happy we must embrace the future.

Time marches on. We can think about things that are behind us and learn from them and our memories allow us to do that. But memories are only snapshots of what no longer exists. We deserve every blessing and every happiness. Bad things happen to us all. When they are in the past, we can learn from them and then we can let them go. We have so much promise for the days ahead and our happiness depends on our ability to embrace it. We can be happy and we can have joy no matter what has happened before. This life is a wonderful gift. We can embrace each day as it comes and find joy going forward.

Today if you’ve been obsessing over something that has passed and are struggling to let it go, remember today is your most precious gift. There is nothing that can change what is behind you. You can let go of yesterday and embrace today. Look forward. You have so much to offer and there is great happiness ahead. Reach for it and let it come.

 

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Grape Juice

1 Jul

Grape juice is delicious.  It’s sweet and tasty and very refreshing.  But if we spill it on our white cotton shirt, it’s quickly changes from being a treat to being a curse.  Grape juice is nice to drink but spilled on white cotton can create an indelible stain that is nearly impossible to remove.  It leaves evidence, sometimes forever, that it was there.  We may scrub and try all kinds of applications and still the stain may remain.  In our lives when we make a mistake that hurts us or others deeply we may feel like we’ve created a permanent stain.  There is no way to change what has happened, and we might believe there is no way to recover from the decision.  Thankfully, even if the mistake is damaging and difficult, it’s not like grape juice.  It’s not forever.  There isn’t anything we can’t recover from.  We all make mistakes and if we’ve really blundered and seriously caused pain to ourselves or others it may be difficult to repair the damage.  But we can face difficult challenges and find our way through them.  If we seriously want to make things right again and do what is needed to correct the problem, we can navigate it effectively and move forward.  What we learn from the experience will be valuable, and even if there is some residual stain that stays with us, it will never be so intense that we can’t find a way around it.

We make dozens of decisions every day.  Our lives change continually based on those decisions and the decisions of others.  Sometimes things go well, we can clearly see the path forward, and know what to do.  Other times our vision may be clouded with indecision, confusion or complications out of our control.  Even if we try to make the best decisions possible, sometimes we won’t have all the information, or what we have is incorrect.  As we go forward we may stumble and take a wrong turn and get hurt, and we may fall on others and hurt them as well.  Nobody wants to make bad choices on purpose.  We try to do our best but it’s possible to get lost.  Getting lost doesn’t mean we’re lost forever.  It just means we took a wrong turn.  We are perfectly capable of assessing the situation, looking at our options, and choosing the road that will correct our course and get us back on track to where we want to go.  We can keep moving forward even after a serious detour.  We have everything we need to find our way again, and we can get to the destination successfully.

If we make a bad choice that is so egregious we break a connection to someone else, we may have to go forward without them for a while.  If no matter what we’ve tried to repair the relationship they don’t want any association with us, we may accept that for now and still move forward.  We can’t control decisions made by anyone but ourselves.  We can give them time and distance if they need it and do whatever we can to make things right.  Everyone makes mistakes and although some may take time to recover from, we are capable of correcting our course at any time.

Today if you’re recovering from a mistake in judgment, and you feel like you’re stained forever, remember this is not permanent. You can correct your course and make things right again.  Keep moving forward.  You have everything you need to succeed.

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Returning to the Scene

11 May

In law enforcement when a crime has been committed, often detectives and others looking for the perpetrator will watch the scene of the crime for anyone who looks suspicious.  Often those who commit crimes return to the scene to observe the reactions of people and watch what happens.  In our lives we may never commit crimes, and I hope we don’t, but there may be times when things don’t go quite the way we wanted them to.  There can be a feeling of emptiness as we deal with disappointment and it can sometimes take time to figure out what happened.  If we feel bad, we may decide to revisit the situation to help us understand what went wrong.  That might mean talking to those who were involved to try and gain some clarity.  Or we might just need to think about what happened and try to sort out our feelings.  Life changes every day but sometimes when we aren’t happy it can feel like it’s changing without us.  Returning to the situation where we went off track can help us find our footing again.  If we didn’t understand it all the first time, we may have to return again and again until we figure out how to go forward.  There is no rush and we can take as much time as needed until we’re ready to let it go and move on.

If we suffer a great disappointment and are deeply hurt we might feel stuck in our misery.  The days may seem fuzzy and we may have trouble concentrating.  It’s hard to look ahead when what’s behind us is holding us so tightly.  We may get stalled trying to understand what happened and where to go from here.  Analyzing the situation can help if we can be objective, but like editing, analyzing can become endless.  No matter how we look at the situation we will never be able to change the outcome.  If we’re determined not to look at it, and live in denial we’ll stay stuck until we return and sort it out.  We will ultimately have to accept the changes that have occurred, even if we don’t agree with them, and then chart a course to move forward.  There isn’t anything we can’t manage and whatever comes to us, no matter how heartbreaking or painful, can be put to rest in time.

Walking into the unknown can be unnerving, and trying to find a new road or a new destination may take some time and thought.  There isn’t just one destination for our lives.  We have limitless choices available to us all the time.  If where we thought we were headed is no longer possible, we can choose someplace new.  We can find new ways to live our lives that are rewarding and fulfilling, and we can find happiness even if it’s not the version of happiness we thought we would have.  A great disappointment is hard to bear.  But the lessons learned while navigating through it will strengthen us and make us more confident for the road ahead.  We can do anything and there is nothing too difficult for us to get through.  The road is long and no detour will keep us from traveling forward.

Today if you’ve been shaken by a disappointment and things have not gone the way you hoped, you can find another way to happiness.  There isn’t anything you can’t face and you have all the tools you need to chart a new course.  There are countless roads in front of you. Find the one that takes you where you want to go now.  Make a turn and start moving forward again.  Happiness is there waiting for you.

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Being There

22 Mar

The world is a big place and there are billions of people inhabiting it. Whether we live in huge cities or small towns, in the country or suburbia, we are all here together. Everything we do, every decision we make affects our lives in some ways, and may also have an impact on others around us. We can try to isolate ourselves if we want to be alone, but it’s not always easy unless we lock ourselves up at home and don’t venture out. No matter what we do, we’re connected to those around us. We pass them, see them, engage with them, and make an impression about who we are. Although it’s good to be independent, we all need each other and depend on each other in countless ways. The level of that reliance depends on our relationship. Every relationship has an unspoken understanding that we’ll be available at some level. If we are strangers passing on the street that involvement will be minimal. If we are friends it increases. When we love each other that reliance will be great. We need to be available to those who love us – both emotionally and physically. We need to answer when they call, and respond when they need us. It’s an integral part of our relationship and if we neglect it, the trust we share will diminish and over time we may lose everything. It’s impossible to have a healthy relationship if one party isn’t available. If we want to be close to anyone, we have to be there for them.

We always do what we want to do most. That’s a truth we all share. We can say we couldn’t make a commitment because we got busy, or we didn’t make an appointment because our schedules got out of control, or we had a conflict, or anything else. While all our excuses may be true, the fact is we decide how we spend our time. The reasons we give for not showing or being available won’t always repair what has been lost. The simple truth is if something is really important to us, we’ll be there for it. If it’s not important, any excuse will do. When we have a relationship of any sort, if we want to keep it, we have to commit to it. And that means we have to be there and available.

When we make commitments and then don’t show, we are often valuing other things as more important. Sometimes we really do want to do something but our lives won’t allow it at this time. We all have real complications and sometimes things don’t work out. If that’s the case we need to re-evaluate the commitments we’re making. However, often when we don’t follow through it’s not because it’s impossible, but that we’ve chosen to do other things instead. We all get to choose how we spend our time. We are in control of our lives and can live them any way we like. We always do what we want to do most. Every person in our lives knows this and our actions clearly communicate it. If we really want successful relationships, they must be valued and protected. We can do that by being available and making them a priority.

Today if you haven’t been available to those who care about you or depend on you, remember your relationships are valuable and worth your time. It’s good to build strong bonds with those around you and you can do that by being there for them. You are very important, and so are they. Show them you care by showing up and being there. They will draw closer to you and your connection will deepen. We all need each other and we need you. Be there. The closeness you’ll develop will be well worth it.

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