Tag Archives: Distance

Chipping Away

20 Mar

It would be wonderful if everyone around us was supportive and kind. We could face each day knowing no matter what happened we could count on others for help. While many of us are helpful and willing to shoulder burdens with those around us, not everyone embraces that model. There are all kinds of expressions and some people are frankly rude and mean. Others are selfish and don’t care about anyone but themselves. If we’re in a situation with people like that we may feel stranded and alone. If we do something they don’t like they may ridicule and demean us. They may criticize and treat us with distain, and each exchange with them may chip away a little of our confidence. Continual exposure may leave us feeling insignificant and worthless. Everyone makes their own decisions and some people choose poorly. We can only control what we do and if we have to deal with those who hurt us, we may struggle to stand tall. It’s not easy to endure people who demean and it’s hard to remain confident near them, but we have all the strength and courage we need to stand strong. Those who want to chip away at others may do so, but we need not internalize their criticisms and judgements. We don’t have to accept anything that diminishes us and can simply let it slide away. It doesn’t matter why someone is being destructive, and it doesn’t matter what their objectives are for employing bad behavior. What matters is how we feel about ourselves. We know who we are and nothing anyone says can change that. We can stand tall, brush off any criticism, and continue forward with confidence. Our lives belong to us and we can choose to make the best choices as we push ahead.

If we’re in a situation with someone who makes a point of putting us down or hurting us, we can walk away. No matter what the relationship is, we don’t have to stay and endure personal attacks. We don’t have to fight back, and we don’t have to engage and defend ourselves. We can simply walk away. We can take control of the situation and take care of ourselves. We are courageous when we manage our actions effectively and protect our self-esteem.

If the decisions of others impact us negatively, we may do what is necessary to correct the situation. We may disengage our relationship with them, distance ourselves from their influence, and stand up and hold firm in response. We have so much to offer. We are good and strong, powerful and wise. We need never fall down under the criticism of anyone else. Our presence is a gift to the world and we can honor that and remember how valuable and precious we are.

Today if someone has demeaned you and made you feel small and unworthy, remember who you are. You are amazing and bring light and goodness to the world. We’re all blessed because you’re here. Stand up and stand tall. You are extraordinary and precious. Every success is possible and nothing will hold you back. Remember who you are and move forward with confidence.

Grape Juice

1 Jul

Grape juice is delicious.  It’s sweet and tasty and very refreshing.  But if we spill it on our white cotton shirt, it’s quickly changes from being a treat to being a curse.  Grape juice is nice to drink but spilled on white cotton can create an indelible stain that is nearly impossible to remove.  It leaves evidence, sometimes forever, that it was there.  We may scrub and try all kinds of applications and still the stain may remain.  In our lives when we make a mistake that hurts us or others deeply we may feel like we’ve created a permanent stain.  There is no way to change what has happened, and we might believe there is no way to recover from the decision.  Thankfully, even if the mistake is damaging and difficult, it’s not like grape juice.  It’s not forever.  There isn’t anything we can’t recover from.  We all make mistakes and if we’ve really blundered and seriously caused pain to ourselves or others it may be difficult to repair the damage.  But we can face difficult challenges and find our way through them.  If we seriously want to make things right again and do what is needed to correct the problem, we can navigate it effectively and move forward.  What we learn from the experience will be valuable, and even if there is some residual stain that stays with us, it will never be so intense that we can’t find a way around it.

We make dozens of decisions every day.  Our lives change continually based on those decisions and the decisions of others.  Sometimes things go well, we can clearly see the path forward, and know what to do.  Other times our vision may be clouded with indecision, confusion or complications out of our control.  Even if we try to make the best decisions possible, sometimes we won’t have all the information, or what we have is incorrect.  As we go forward we may stumble and take a wrong turn and get hurt, and we may fall on others and hurt them as well.  Nobody wants to make bad choices on purpose.  We try to do our best but it’s possible to get lost.  Getting lost doesn’t mean we’re lost forever.  It just means we took a wrong turn.  We are perfectly capable of assessing the situation, looking at our options, and choosing the road that will correct our course and get us back on track to where we want to go.  We can keep moving forward even after a serious detour.  We have everything we need to find our way again, and we can get to the destination successfully.

If we make a bad choice that is so egregious we break a connection to someone else, we may have to go forward without them for a while.  If no matter what we’ve tried to repair the relationship they don’t want any association with us, we may accept that for now and still move forward.  We can’t control decisions made by anyone but ourselves.  We can give them time and distance if they need it and do whatever we can to make things right.  Everyone makes mistakes and although some may take time to recover from, we are capable of correcting our course at any time.

Today if you’re recovering from a mistake in judgment, and you feel like you’re stained forever, remember this is not permanent. You can correct your course and make things right again.  Keep moving forward.  You have everything you need to succeed.