Yes You Can

9 Jan

Hard times come to us all. We can try to do everything right, we can try to make the best decisions, and we can try to choose wisely, but no matter what we do, things will go wrong from time to time. Sometimes they are minor adjustments in our path, simple annoyances that keep us on our toes for a while and then fade away. But other times, we may have to face very difficult circumstances where everything we thought was real is questionable, and all the security we thought we had seems to disappear. Often we have no warning that the bottom is about to fall out of our lives, and when it comes we can be stunned and frozen, unable to figure out what to do or how to get through. It’s hard to face really difficult times and our pain, worry or sorrow as we navigate them may be intense. It’s like the whole world has suddenly changed and we are in a foreign and sometimes frightening place. It takes courage to face the days, and temerity to keep going forward.

When very hard times come upon us, we may feel overwhelmed, and confused, or if it’s bad enough, we may even feel destroyed. For a time we might think we can’t get through and the situation will ruin us forever. But no matter what comes, even the worst possible scenario, we can face it and we can figure it out. It sometimes just comes down to deciding not to quit. We may not know exactly how we’re going to find our way, we may have no idea how to fix the problem and we may feel completely lost, but if we simply decide we aren’t going to quit, we will eventually succeed. Surrender is never an option if we want to be in control of our lives. We can’t prevent what comes to us, or what goes wrong, but we can control what we do. We can make any decision we want to and even in the face of disaster we can decide not to quit. We can determine to keep pushing forward and working the problem until we find our way out again.

If we find ourselves in a terrible situation that has been caused by someone else in our lives, and we’ve been desperately hurt, our relationship will certainly be affected. If it’s someone close to us, and someone we love, it will take time to decide how to go forward with or without them, and recover. We can’t control what anyone else does, and when their decisions hurt us, it has an impact on our feelings for them. If the relationship is very important to us, we may find a way to continue to be part of it, but if the damage is great, it will sometimes sever all connections between us and them. There is only so much damage any relationship can handle before it breaks. It’s devastating to lose someone close to us because of a bad decision, but sometimes that happens. We must do what is best for us and what enables us to go forward successfully. Sometimes that means changing those we share our lives with. If that happens we may grieve for some time, but eventually we’ll find our footing again and if enough time passes and we choose to, we could try to reestablish the relationship again later.

Today if you’re facing a serious setback, if your world has been rocked by something extremely difficult and you feel lost, you can manage it. You are strong enough to face whatever comes to you and you will find your way. Hang onto your courage, hold on tight, and keep going forward. Nothing lasts forever. You just need to face this moment. Tomorrow things will be better. You are brave enough to manage whatever comes today. Trust yourself. You have everything you need to succeed.

Tags: , ,

Knowing

8 Jan

As we go through all the many experiences in our lives, we sometimes come across situations that confuse us.  Maybe we aren’t sure exactly what’s going on, or something someone says doesn’t agree with what they’re doing.  Because most of the experiences we have involve other people, and they can do anything they like even if it doesn’t make sense, it’s sometimes hard to understand situations.  Some people may pretend that things are different than they really are and try to convince us that everything is one way when in fact it’s the complete opposite.  Some people may even lie to us, and manipulate us into believing things that aren’t true.  When we’re unsure because things aren’t making sense, when we can’t believe something is happening but all the evidence points in that direction, we can feel lost.  We don’t know which way to turn.  We don’t know what to do.

When we’re confused about a situation, it’s helpful to take a step back away from it and see it more objectively.  We can more easily discern truth if our emotions aren’t involved.  When we’re tangled up and enmeshed in a situation, we may be too close to see the whole story.  If we step back just a little our vision will clear, and we may see things we couldn’t before.  People are complicated and make all kinds of decisions – both good and bad.  Their reasons are their own, and if the reason is selfish, it can hurt others.  Sometimes they don’t care if they hurt others and will continue even after they see the pain they’re causing.  And sometimes the pain is just a byproduct of what they’re trying to do.  Either way, if we’re in their crosshairs and are getting hurt, we can find out why.  We can step back and see things clearly, and then we can make the best decision going forward.

There are times when what we think is happening can be an illusion created by a situation or those involved in it.  It’s possible to be manipulated into believing things are very different than they really are.  Perhaps someone wants something from us and knows we will never give it to them unless we believe it’s for someone else so they manufacture a situation that gives that impression.  Or maybe someone wants us to do something they know we won’t agree to and make the request appear to be something entirely different.  If these things happen we can get caught going down a path we never intended to travel.  There really is no limit to what others can do or say to us.  But we can figure out the truth if we step back when we feel something isn’t right.  We can trust our instincts to know what is real, and when we’re ready, we can uncover the truth.  We will know what to do.  We have everything we need to discern the right path, and then go forward.  We can correct our course at any time, and turn back to the right direction to find peace and happiness.

Today if you feel something isn’t quite right in a situation involving you, and if you’re unsure, step back a little and see it more objectively.  Pretend you’re not involved and see everything clearly.  You’ll find the truth and you’ll know what to do.  You are insightful and wise.  You have everything you need to go forward with confidence.

Tags: , ,

Taking the Risk

7 Jan

In our lives, we all get the chance to try something new we want to do. It’s fun to try new things, but since they are unfamiliar to us there is some uncertainty and there may be some risk involved. Sometimes the risk is physical – if we want to try snowboarding or rock climbing it looks exciting but we may fall. And sometimes the risk has nothing to do with our bodies, and everything to do with our futures. If we want to change careers but we’re well established where we are now, letting our security go for something new, even if it’s something we really want, can rattle us. Should we do it or should we play it safe and stay where we are? Risk exposes us to possible loss. What that loss is depends on the situation. Of course, we can go through our lives avoiding new situations and staying on the same familiar road if we choose. But if we don’t try new things, if we don’t stretch out of our comfort zones, we’ll never know what we can do. We are all capable of greatness. But we can’t become great unless we push ourselves to do everything we can to get there.

There are more things to experience in this life than we’ll ever be able to accomplish. But the more things we expose ourselves to, the more unique situations we face, the deeper we become and our understanding of life broadens. If we keep our lives small, don’t venture far, stay away from things that are different than what we’re accustomed to and ask for nothing more, our sense of the world will be small as well. Imagine wearing the same color every single day. We know what color it is, and we know how it will look every time we put it on. The repetition of doing the same things can make us feel secure because we know what to expect. But if we put on a new color every single day, and try colors we never thought we could wear, we would see ourselves in many different ways. And that sense of newness and diversity would deepen our experiences. We might find that trying new colors makes us feel happy, something we would never have learned if we had remained in our old pattern.

The experience of taking a risk and trying something new is different for everyone. Some people thrive on the thrill of never knowing what’s coming next, and others prefer to plan escapades into new arenas. If we’re unsure, we could start small and decide to try something we’ve never done before but that will have little impact on us. We could explore new areas for work by volunteering in those arenas and trying them out instead of making a decision to change all at once. We don’t have to bungee jump over a 100 foot drop to take a risk. Just trying something new, something we want to do but have never attempted, will bring us great experience and often big rewards. There is something wonderful about being terrified of a new experience, doing it anyway, and surprising ourselves by succeeding. We can do anything we want to do. We will be enriched as we understand that no matter what comes we’ll be able to navigate it. This life was meant to be experienced. And we have everything we need to try anything we like.

Today if you’ve been thinking about trying something new but have been concerned about the risks involved, you can do it anyway. Plan for it, learn about it, and then take it on. There isn’t anything you can’t do. You are capable of stretching and learning anything you want. Enrich your life by stepping out and pushing yourself a little further. You can conquer any obstacle and on the other side your confidence will soar. Go for it. You can do anything.

Tags: , ,

Changing Directions

6 Jan

Being in control of our lives is something most of us strive for. We want to make our own decisions, and live the way that makes us feel happiest and most authentic to who we really are. We have a lot of connections with those around us and sometimes we find that although our relationships start out with a dynamic of give and take, sometimes they change and we feel we are giving more than we are comfortable with. If that happens, we may feel we’ve lost some control over our lives and it can be uncomfortable. If the relationship is important to us we may be concerned about trying to change it or even discussing the issue openly. But just because we may need to modify something in the situation, doesn’t necessarily mean we must abandon it. Being in control of our lives doesn’t always mean we have to stop what we’re doing. Sometimes it just means we have change direction.

Interpersonal relationships are made up of people, and people are complicated. We have all kinds of ideas, emotions, plans and dreams constantly rolling around in our heads. Those complications can make even small adjustments seem bigger than they really are. If we’ve decided our life needs to go a specific way and are adamant about those parameters, relationships may become difficult for us. There is not one true way to live a life happily or successfully. There are limitless varieties, each worth as much as the one next to it. If we decide there is only one way to do things, it may be difficult for us to give in our relationships. Success with others is often directly related to our ability to compromise. After all, the other person’s ideas, emotions, plans and dreams are every bit as valuable and worthwhile as our own, even if they are very different. It’s important to remember that. We all want to feel cared for, respected, and have our ideals honored. Nobody wants to be in a situation where they must do everything somebody else’s way.  There must be both give and take if we want to succeed.

It’s fair to ask for what we want and what we need in our lives. It’s appropriate to make adjustments when we feel those parameters aren’t being met. We can modify our relationships and still succeed at them. We are entitled to live our lives in ways that make us comfortable and if we’re giving too much away, if we aren’t being valued, if we’re being ignored, or if we feel uncomfortable, we can make whatever changes are necessary to create a better situation. Sometimes if the other person is unwilling to change and we are struggling, or if they refuse to compromise, the relationship may fail. But it doesn’t fail because we want the change. It fails because it’s not workable the way it is. We deserve to be happy. If we have lost some control, we can change directions. If those we care about really care about us, they will want us to be comfortable and happy. But we must tell them what we need. When we do, we may be amazed at how quickly things improve, how much better we feel, and how much closer we are because we worked together to go forward.

Today if you feel you’ve lost some control over your life and need to change direction to regain it, you can do that. Tell those involved how you feel. Speak up and explain clearly what you need to be happy. If they truly care about you, they will work with you and help you change things so you are facing the direction that takes you where you want to go. This life is all about adjustments. You can make them and you can be happy.

Tags: , ,

Triangles

5 Jan

In an orchestra, every instrument has an integral part to play. Each is needed to make the piece being performed complete. If even one instrument’s part is removed or quieted, the entire sound is affected. If one section is more subdued than another, the main melody transfers to whichever is playing the most prominently. Directors use this to manipulate the performance and create the sound they seek. They choose the most beautiful parts of the piece to sing out above the other harmonies in order to bring the greatest beauty and depth to the music. But every instrument has it’s place and is needed to create the entire sound. Even the triangle has a role to play. It’s a small instrument with a very tiny voice. But when it is called on to sound out, its perfect placement makes the entire piece more complete. We are like the orchestra in many ways. We are all different and each of us has a voice that is unique and important. Even if we’re like the tiny triangle, and don’t say much or aren’t loud, what we have to offer is valuable and needed. Our contribution, no matter how small is integral in our lives and the lives of others. It’s important and precious.

We all have different ways of expressing ourselves. Some of us are clear and direct, and even forceful when talking with others. And some of us are more reserved, waiting until we are sure of what we want to say before speaking up, and then speaking more quietly and modestly. But our messages are all important. Whether we are loud or soft, each of our voices is necessary for our world to be complete. When we think of all the people around us and their contributions in our lives, it’s hard to imagine leaving even one of them out. None of them is perfect, and we sometimes wish some of them would fade into the the distance but when we look at the whole picture we can see that each is a necessary piece of the puzzle that is our lives. Each has a voice in our personal orchestra and we need to hear them all.

If we lack confidence we may find it hard to speak up and share our comments and thoughts with those around us. But what we have to say is important. Even the things we think are insignificant could be something someone else really needs to hear. We can feel empowered enough to share our thoughts and feelings with others, and recognize that we have an important role to play in our own lives and the lives of those around us. We are all far more connected to each other than we realize. If we open up, share our thoughts, and become part of the conversation, we will be embellished and we will bless those around us in ways we cannot possibly know. Sometimes one word from us changes everything for someone else. It’s possible that our one comment could change someone else’s perspective from lonely and unsure, to one of inclusion and acceptance. We have so much to share. We can be brave enough to share all we have, and be an integral part of the complete picture adding our own instrument and voice to the world around us.

Today if you’ve kept to yourself and not spoken up when you had the chance, determine to share who you are. You have so much to offer and your perspective is valuable and desired. Open up and let others know you more deeply and become part of the orchestra around you. Your voice is needed and we all want to hear it. Tell us who you are and let us grow from your influence. You are an amazing gift to those around you. Share yourself with them today.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →