What’s Coming

4 Jan

If you’ve ever tried skiing, you know there are times when you’re at the top of the hill and because of fog or snow, you can’t see the bottom of the hill. You know it’s there – you just left it – but it’s invisible. There is no ski lift that takes us back down the mountain and once we’re at the top we have only two options. We can ski down it, or we can walk. If we decide to ski, which most of us do, despite the inability to see the bottom of the hill, we can begin down the slope. If the fog or snow is heavy, it may be hard to see more than a couple of feet ahead. If we haven’t done the course before we will not know what’s coming. But if we have faith in our abilities, and plan every turn carefully, we can get down the hill and reach the bottom in safety. Our lives can be like that. We know where we are and where we want to go, but the distance in between the two can be foggy and hard to see. If we really want to reach our destination, we have to go forward with faith. Sometimes we come to a wall and have to re-navigate but if we take our time, and keep moving forward we will reach the destination.

When we can’t see the road ahead of us, and we aren’t exactly sure which way to start, we can be overcome with doubt and decide to stay where we are instead of venturing forth. We know the location we’re in, it’s predictable and sure. Forging ahead into the unknown can be frightening. But the truth is there isn’t anything we can’t manage. We are smart enough and strong enough to face anything that comes to us. If we really want to go forward, even if we can’t see each turn that’s coming, we can keep moving and if we come to a complication we can re-navigate and start again. Every road is within our reach and every goal is attainable if we’re willing to do what we must to achieve it. We can ignore the fear and just start moving ahead. We can push our doubts aside and have faith that although we can’t see the next bend, we will know what to do when we get there.

Not everyone will support us when we want to make a change in our lives and move in a new direction. Some may tell us it’s impossible, some may say it’s too hard, some may ask why we want to change when we’re fine where we are. But none of that matters if we know what we really want. We can forge a new road, go after a big goal, and tackle difficult challenges. The world and the future belong to those brave enough to grab it. We all have the courage we need inside us. We can do whatever we want to do. We can summon our confidence and garner our faith strongly enough to do anything. There isn’t anything too hard for us to manage, too difficult for us to figure out, or too intimidating that we can’t overcome it. We can do anything. When we believe that and begin going forward deciding we will continue no matter what, we will find success. There is nothing that will stop us.

Today if you’ve wanted to move in a new direction but have been unsure, you have everything you need to succeed. You are smart enough and strong enough to do anything you want to do. You can go forward and if you keep going forward you will succeed. Nothing can stop you when you are determined to win. You already know what you want. Start moving and you’ll get there. You deserve everything you’re seeking. Today take the first step forward to claim it.

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Baggage

2 Jan

As we navigate through our lives our experiences leave impressions on us. Sometimes they are scars from events that have hurt us, sometimes they are precious memories from times when things were wonderful, and sometimes they are just an accumulation of things we learn. Everything we experience changes us in some way, but when we have bad experiences, they may leave lasting marks that we carry with us. If the scars are painful and heavy, they can impact our lives going forward. Like baggage we can’t abandon, we pull it along with us. It might be small like an overnight bag or we may have a dozen over-sized steamer trunks we drag along. Whatever it is, it takes effort to carry it and can make it hard for us to experience joy or see the possibilities of happiness in front of us. It takes work to carry heavy baggage, it’s strenuous, and it takes concentration. We have to watch where we’re going more carefully, and navigate complicated turns with precision. It’s hard to be spontaneous, or trust that we’ll get through. When we’re carrying a lot behind us our lives are harder and we feel the weight every day.

Nobody has a perfect life. Nobody gets through without some disappointment or pain, sadness or grief. We all suffer and have bad experiences along with the good ones. It’s how we handle them that affects our lives going forward. If we’re suffering and have been hurt, we can hold onto the pain for the rest of our lives. We can carry distrust, bitterness, wariness, anger, and suspicion with us. We can keep ourselves separate from those around us and hold on to our baggage, checking it, making sure it’s still there, and keeping it close. Deep betrayal, loss of faith, intense disappointment, and pain are difficult to go through. They change us and if we let them, can paralyze our lives. We can give our control over to them, lock our security safely away, and allow them to make every personal decision we have. But we don’t have to do that.

We have the power to face whatever comes to us. Bad experiences can be conquered. Even the one thing we think we could never overcome is possible to move past. Our ability to move forward in our lives is only hampered by our own decisions. We can carry our baggage with us for as long as we want to. But when we’re ready to be happy again, we can set it down and walk away. We don’t need it to make any decisions going forward, and we can be happy if we let it go. Leaving it behind does not diminish the pain we suffered when we had it. But if we really want to be happy again, we have to let it go and walk away. We have the power to control our lives. We can’t change what’s already happened, but we can change how much we let the past determine our future. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to be free of pain. We deserve everything we are hoping for. We can do anything we want and we don’t need any previous baggage holding us back. We can leave it behind and move on.

Today if you’ve been letting something from your past determine how you’re living your life, if you’re holding onto pain or disappointment, you can let it go. You can set it down and walk away, leaving it behind as you move forward. You don’t have to carry anything with you. You have all you need to be happy and successful. Let go. You deserve only the best. You have everything you need to be happy. Embrace that.

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Our Truest Life

1 Jan

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.” Henry David Thoreau

When we’re young we dream of what we’ll become when we grow up. We have fantastic fantasies about being ballerinas, astronauts, race car drivers, famous singers, and a thousand other ideas. Sometimes those dreams come true, but often because we don’t know what’s involved in realizing them, they change. Years later as we progress through our lives, learn new things, and learn about ourselves, we get a better picture of who we really are. But even then, because of the complications of life and choices we make, sometimes we don’t end up where we want to be. The roads we want to travel may be obscured by the choices of others around us, or decisions we make that take us to other destinations, or even by time itself. Sometimes we wake up and look at where we are and wonder how we got there. Of course, it’s easy to see how one turn took us to another, and how each step altered our course, but even then, when we realize we’re not where we want to be, it’s disconcerting. Life is a force and if we don’t take control of it, our days will play out and determine our direction. If we want to live our truest life, the one we really want, we have to take control. We have to wake up, look at the road we’re on, and decide which way to go from there.

Living life on “auto pilot” is easy. We’ve all done it from time to time. We get into routines, we know what to expect, and we just go through the motions. But if we live our lives that way, after a time we may forget that we have control and can determine our direction. We can decide what we want and then make choices that will bring success. We can do anything, but we won’t get where we want to be if we don’t take control. Routines can be like fog rolling in. At first we can still see our way forward and it’s just a slight annoyance. But if we let them take over our lives, the path we’re looking for becomes obscured and difficult to see. We might even stop looking because we’ve been on the same road for so long a new choice may be intimidating. But this life only comes around once. We only get one shot at today. We can play along and stay in the fog, or we can step out and forge the road we really want to travel.

Are we living our truest life? We have the power to live the life we want most. However, before we can achieve it, we must first define it. Is what we’re doing today what we really want? Is this the life that will bring us true satisfaction and happiness? If it isn’t, what is needed to change it? We can change anything in our lives that we want to. We can step off the road we’ve been traveling and move in a new direction. We can point our compass toward what we want most and turn our course. We have sufficient control over our choices and our lives to make any change we want to make. If we aren’t happy where we are, if we don’t feel fulfilled, if this isn’t where we want to be, we have the power to change it. We don’t need the approval of others and we don’t need permission. This life is ours to direct and we can go wherever we choose, and become the person we want to be.

Today if you feel like you’re on the wrong road, that you aren’t living your truest life, that you aren’t where you want to be, you can change things. Decide where you want to go and what you want to do, and then begin to modify your direction and revise your plan. You can do anything. You can make your dreams a reality. Be who you really are and bless the world with your unique gifts. There is nobody else like you. Live your truest life today.

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Resolutions

31 Dec

At the beginning of a new year, many people make resolutions. This generally involves a determined resolve to stop doing something, or start doing something, or change something in our lives or our behaviors. Sometimes we can be successful when we resolve to instantly change, but often we fail because when it comes to changing ourselves a hard line in the sand is rarely effective. We all have things we want to change from time to time but instead of making a resolution to immediately stop or begin something, it’s often more effective to set a goal rather than expect our decision to create an instantaneous transformation. Goals are positive things we can work toward and we can take action to adopt the desired change one step at a time. Then we can move forward in ways that are comfortable and incorporate change in our lives little by little until it is achieved.

The quickest way to feel overcome and defeated is to expect more from ourselves than we can reasonably deliver. If we want to lose weight, no matter how much it is, it’s not going to happen overnight. If we remember how long it took us to gain it, and then give ourselves at least that long – or longer – to lose it, we’ll have a more positive experience. Behavior traits we want to eliminate take time. It’s unlikely we’ll be able to eliminate them all at once. They are learned patterns we’ve developed and repeated over and over. We can certainly change them, and if we give ourselves the opportunity to do that one step at a time we’ll be successful. For instance, if we use swear words and want to eliminate them from our speech, we can. But odds are that because they are a customary part of our daily vernacular, they will pop out from time to time. If we decide to be aware when we say them, and then try again to eliminate them each time we slip, over time we’ll be successful.

Learning to be patient with ourselves as we try to change is imperative. Impatience will not help us get to the goal any more quickly. We can give ourselves space and time to learn the new patterns and adopt whatever change we are seeking. We can be our own best friends and show the patience and support a best friend would offer. There isn’t anything we can’t do if we want to badly enough. We can accomplish any goal we set, we can change any behavior we choose, and we can go forward any way that’s best for us. Setting goals and then working toward them one step at a time will ensure success. Nothing can stop us if we keep our eyes on the prize. Being reasonable with our expectations, giving ourselves the time we need to correct our course, and exercising patience as we change will help.

Today if you’ve decided it’s time to make some changes set the first goal toward getting there. By taking it one step at a time you’ll reach every objective you seek. There is plenty of time to accomplish whatever you want to do, and get to wherever you want to go. Take the first step today, and each day forward take another one. Before you know it you’ll reach the target and be successful. You have everything you need to do this. Today is a good time to start.

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Influence and Impression

30 Dec

There is a constant myth that Napoleon Bonaparte had a chip on his shoulder because he was very short, and today people sometimes refer to shorter men who are disagreeable as having a “Napoleon Complex.” However, historians say Napoleon was actually taller than the average male for his time and seemed short because he was surrounded by body guards who were much taller. If they are right, his short stature was just an interpretation of how he compared to those around him, and not a true reflection of who he was. When we think about that, it changes the entire picture. If he wasn’t short and didn’t have a complex about his height, the reputation associated with him is unwarranted. We, too, may be considered to be something we really aren’t simply because of where we are or with whom we are associating. It may be assumed that we have specific qualities because they are the attributes of those around us. We can seem to be very different than we really are because of situations we place ourselves in. They say perception is reality, and that’s often true. If we think something is happening a certain way, we believe it’s fact. But we can be wrong. And others can be wrong about us.

There is an old saying that “birds of a feather flock together.” That means we tend to spend time with others who are like us. We may feel more comfortable around others who share our perceptions and beliefs. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have friends and acquaintances we enjoy or with whom we spend time that are very different than we are. We all know all kinds of people, and sometimes our differences are very pronounced. If those differences are things that others find disagreeable or uncomfortable, they may be concerned that we share them. And like Napoleon, we may find we gain a reputation for being something we really aren’t. When that happens it can be complicated, especially if it impacts relationships close to us. Even though it’s just a perception and not reality, those we care about may confuse the two and we may find ourselves in a difficult state of affairs.

There is nothing wrong with having all sorts of friends around us. But if we notice their choices are damaging or hurtful in some way, we may want to re-evaluate our time with them. For instance, if we have a friend who deceives and struggles with the truth, our association with them may lead others to believe we share the same characteristics. Or if we have an acquaintance that has been in trouble for breaking the law, there may be some carryover of influence. This doesn’t mean we should only have people close to us who share our values and standards, however we should be aware of the influence of association. But there is a flip side to all of this. We have the power to influence as well. If we are strong in our beliefs and personal choices, if we set an example for a higher standard, we can be a positive force to those near us. And if we are, we may well impact them for good. And then our association with them will change, and others will see their growth and instead of worrying about us will be happy we were there for them.

Today if you’re concerned about an association or friendship you have because of differences in your personal choices, be the one who sets the example. Display behaviors that are positive and helpful. Others will be influenced by your good works and may be impressed to make a positive change in their lives. You can set a great example and be the light that leads the way.  We are all influenced by those around us. Today let your influence be excellent.

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