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Quarter Turn

8 Aug

There are times when we’re working on a problem or dealing with others that things don’t go exactly as we want them to.  If there is contention or complications and they are persistent we can get hung up and stopped in our tracks.  If that continues we may become frustrated, feel it’s not worth the hassle, and consider completely abandoning our plans. Giving up is always an option but we don’t have to.  We don’t have to turn all the way around or exclude ourselves from any situation because it’s not going smoothly.  Sometimes a simple adjustment will change things.  A small quarter turn to the left or right can sometimes be all that’s needed to make things work.  Just a small adjustment in our thinking or our decisions may pave the road forward.  We may overlook small adjustments as possible solutions because they seem insignificant.  But a quarter turn that enables success is certainly worth consideration, and can sometimes change the whole picture and open doors going forward.

We all have ideas about how things should go.  If we make decisions about what needs to be done and are convinced it’s the best way forward it may be hard to hear other suggestions.  But everybody has their own perspective and sometimes we don’t know the whole story.  Others have valuable insight and if we listen and allow our plans to be modified we may more easily find success.  It’s impossible to know everything every time.  When things don’t go easily and there are roadblocks keeping us from success, listening to other suggestions and leaning a little toward them may correct our course.  Instead of completely quitting or giving up, we can adjust our trajectory and successfully get to the goal.

Life is rarely an “all or nothing” scenario.  There are few times when there is only one way to do things or only one option.  Generally there is flexibility in our decisions and more than one method that will bring success.  Being open to many ideas and suggestions will help us going forward.  Everyone has something to offer and different perspectives allow us to see things in new ways.  We can be open enough to hear them and lean a little here or there, perhaps making a quarter turn to enable success.  Being rigid and unwilling to listen gives us only one option – ours.  But hearing other suggestions and viewpoints and embracing them gives us many options, and many options can open many doors.  Success is the ultimate goal.  We don’t have to always do it our way.  We can hear as many ideas as possible to help us get where we want to go.

Today if you’re working on a situation but things aren’t moving as well as you hoped, ask for suggestions from others.  Listen to new perspectives and be open to trying another way.  We all have great ideas.  Hear them and adjust your path to find success.  You know what you want.  Turn a little and let others help you find it.

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Listen to Me

25 Jul

We know what’s best for us and what we want to do with our lives.  We know where we want to go and what we want to achieve.  Because we are effective in managing our own lives, sometimes we may think we can help others manage theirs.  Maybe we see them making the same mistake over and over again, and decide to give them advice we think will help.  Sometimes we may really have the answers for someone else’s problems, but that doesn’t mean we can tell them what to do.  If we care for them we can certainly offer our help and give them advice that may assist them.  But once we’ve done that it’s up to them to follow it or not.  They might listen to us or they may ignore the advice.  Their decisions belong to them and even if the counsel we’ve offered is helpful, they may choose their own way.  It can be frustrating to see someone we care about stumble when we’re trying to help them but their decisions are theirs to make.  We can’t make them listen to us.  They have the right to choose.  The best we can do is offer our sincerest advice and then let it go.

We can’t possibly know everything about anyone but ourselves and have only an external view of other people’s lives. We can see what they are doing and if they share confidences with us we may have some insight into how they’re feeling.  But we will never know the entire story.  We can’t know their private desires or intentions.  All we can see is what’s on the outside and we can only give advice based on that.  If they want to listen to us they may, but their lives belong to them and every decision they make is their responsibility.  They will make them based on their personal choices and not someone else’s.  Although we may want to help, in the end the choice is theirs.  We are all certainly smart enough to figure out what’s best for us and even if we falter and make a mistake, we can find our way again.

When we put pressure on others to comply with a suggestion we’ve made and it’s something they don’t want to do, they may feel worried and concerned about telling us they don’t want to do what we’re asking.  If we’re very close to them they may be concerned about how a refusal will affect the relationship and how we will respond.  But if they have other ideas about their life and feel confident about them they can clearly decline any suggestion.  We may not appreciate their refusal to go along but we can respect them for standing up for their decisions.  We own our own lives and can manage them and design them any way we want to.  We can do things our way with confidence and grace, and face whatever comes.  If we falter, we will correct our course.  We can give advice and when we get it we may take it or decline it.  The choice is ours.

Today if you feel compelled to tell someone else how they should move forward or how they should do something, you may offer your advice.  You may give sound reasons for why you believe this is the right way for them to go.  Give your suggestions and then let them choose.  They will hear you and appreciate your concern but they must choose for themselves.  Honor that and support them as you move forward.

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Fault Lines

20 Jul

As we go through our lives and make decisions, sometimes we take a wrong turn and make choices that don’t work out.  We might make decisions that take us somewhere we don’t want to go or bring us hardship.  If we are heavily influenced to make a decision and we agree to it and it doesn’t work out we may blame the person who pressured us to comply.  We may say it’s their fault we are miserable.  While it’s true others may strongly influence us and their pressure may be great, if we decide to go along with their request the decision is ultimately ours.  The choice belongs to us and the results of that choice are also ours.  We own them.  We may say we were forced to do something we really didn’t want to do and there may have been great pressure to comply but the choice we make is ours.  There is no way to push the consequences of our decisions onto others.  We may be angry we complied and we may be unhappy with what has happened, but we own the decision.  Of course, those who pressured us have their part to answer for but we direct our own lives and what we choose is our responsibility.

Blaming can be a dangerous game.  If we make it a habit of blaming others or situations for our decisions we may successfully push the attention onto them but it will never change the truth.  If we don’t accept our role in our decisions and say it’s someone or something else’s fault, we can’t learn from the experience.  If we don’t learn from what has happened, we may repeat the whole process again.  The old adage that those who don’t learn from the past are destined to repeat it is true.  If we can’t accept our responsibility for a bad decision we can’t learn the lessons that may keep us from making the same choice again.  Nobody wants a life going from one disaster to the next but if we don’t learn from our choices that may be our experience.

Making mistakes is a natural part of life.  We don’t know everything and we don’t know what we don’t know.  We sometimes blunder through with half the information we need to make a good decision and sometimes we are blinded by promises that are half true.  If we falter and choose something that brings hardship or disappointment and take the time to see where we made the wrong turn it can help us prevent doing it again in the future.  There is great benefit in going through hard lessons and if we are wise we will take the time to learn as much as we can as we navigate them.  Many times we make excellent decisions that take us where we want to go.  We often choose well and are happy with our choices.  We can be confident that if we make a wrong turn we will be able to right our course and go forward with courage.

Today if you’ve made a wrong turn and chosen something that has brought you disappointment or hardship, accept your decision and move forward.  Learn all you can from the experience and be confident.  You are wise and able to choose well.  A setback will not stop you.  Turn your course and continue again.  You will find great success.

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Sitting Tight

19 Jul

There are times in our lives when we wait for something to happen. Maybe it’s something as simple as waiting on a train or a cab or a bus. Or maybe it’s something more complicated like waiting for a change to happen for something we really want. Waiting for a bus is easy. We can read, chat with those around us, enjoy our surroundings while we wait, or spend the time thinking. But waiting for important changes to occur can be more difficult. If we’re waiting for someone to change their mind, or for our lives to move from one situation to another, or for something important to happen, the wait can be interminable. Sometimes we wait because there is nothing we can do to move things forward and we are dependent on the actions of others. Other times we may sit tight in a situation simply because we haven’t yet figured out what to do next. If we aren’t sure how to take the next steps we may wait and see if things will change on their own and move us through. That rarely happens and if we wait for a situation to move us forward without doing it ourselves, the wait may be long or even endless. We can sit and wait for as long as we want but doing nothing will not change our circumstance. If we want the change we’re waiting for to happen, it’s often up to us to do what’s needed. Instead of waiting for things to change on their own, we can pro-actively move our lives in any direction we choose.

When we’re waiting we have no control over the situation. We have no way to direct our progress or move forward. Waiting keeps us where we are until something else happens. Because we are dependent on an action outside ourselves we have no power to determine when the needed development will occur. But we do have power over ourselves and we can decide when the wait will end. If we want to, we can take control and change our personal situation to move things forward on our own. We can determine to set our plans in place and take the next step. We need not wait any longer than we are comfortable for something else to happen first. When we’re ready, whether the anticipated change or development has happened or not, we can move ahead.

Sometimes because of our relationships we may feel we need to wait. Perhaps someone depends on us to stay where we are or keep things the same. Everyone has their own desires and expectations about their lives and if we’re involved in them they may have influence over our choices. We can keep our commitments to those around us and still control our own lives. If we need to change something and move in a different direction, we can. We can be kind and gracious and still make decisions that direct our lives the way we want them to go. It’s up to us how we’ll move forward. Having control over our decisions is appropriate and important. We know what’s best for us and we need not wait for others to approve of our choices or embrace them. We don’t have to wait for anything. We can move forward whenever we’re ready.

Today if you feel like you’ve been waiting for something to happen so you can move forward, take the first step on your own. You know what you want to do and where you want to go. You have everything you need to get there. You don’t have to wait. You can start today. Take the first step.

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Doing it Right

11 Jul

When we’re trying to get something done and we encounter a complication that takes time and effort to navigate we have lots of choices we can make.  If we’re in a hurry to complete the task and don’t care how we get it done, we can push through whatever problems arise, focus only on our goal and rush forward.  If the goal is something we’ve worked toward for a long time and are tired of dealing with it we might ignore problems and go around them instead of solving them.  We can get to any goal any way we want to.  We can work problems and find the best solutions as we go or we can shove our way through in order to finish the task and move on.  If all we see is the finish line and pay no attention to how we get there we might take shortcuts to get there sooner but in the end neglecting details may cause us more headaches.  Doing the right thing isn’t always the easiest thing.  But if we do our best to completely address each situation and solve whatever problems arise as go our path will often be less complicated later.  It may take a little more time to tie up all the loose ends but left dangling and unsolved, problems have a way of circling back and tangling up our future plans.  They say a job worth doing is worth doing well, and that’s true.  If we effectively try to do our best as we go, the road will be easier and less complicated in the future.

Quick fixes are great.  We get in, do what absolutely has to be done now, and get out.  But the quick fix isn’t always the best option.  In the material world if we have something that’s broken and needs repair but we don’t have time, we might do something to hold it for now.  We know the fix won’t last forever and it’s just a patch until we can return and take care of the problem permanently.  In our personal lives we sometimes use quick fixes as well.  The problem with using quick fixes is our lives continue on and more things happen.  We have other situations to address and before we know it time has gone by and we haven’t returned to finish the situation we set aside.  If we do this continually our lives will be cluttered up with all kinds of problems that are half finished and half solved.  They’ll be in the back of our minds niggling at us to return and may chip away at our confidence because we haven’t completed them.

Most problems have a beginning when they arise, a middle as we process them and figure them out, and an end when we solve them.  Solving a problem is the only way to get rid of it.  It’s the only way to leave it behind and move ahead.  If we get stuck in the middle, and set it aside, the problem sits and waits for us to return.  Most problems don’t go away on their own.  They hang around until we decide to look at them and solve them.  While they wait, we carry them with us.  They weigh on us and may impact our ability to move forward.  It’s like dragging something heavy behind us as we try to step ahead.  We can keep our lives clear if we address our problems and do our best to resolve them when they appear so we can let them go and move on.

Today if you have unresolved issues that are weighing on you, choose to solve them and let them go.  You don’t need to drag them along with you.  You deserve to feel free and confident, and taking care of things now will give that to you.

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