Archive | Conflict RSS feed for this section

Stepping Out

27 Mar

There are billions of people on earth and unless we live on a deserted island or on top of a remote mountain, some of them will be right next to us. It’s great to have company as we go through our lives but we’re all individuals and sometimes we bump into each other as we move along. Conflict is a normal part of life and we all experience it from time to time. When it erupts and escalates, even if we aren’t the key players, we may find ourselves swept up in the melee. When ideas clash and tempers rise, we may be caught up in the struggle and carried along simply because we are there. We can remain in the fight and try to help resolve the conflict, or we can step out and allow those involved to find the answers without us. We all want to be there for those we care about but it’s important to understand where the lines of responsibility lie. We can be supportive and still stay out of the fight. We all have enough personal battles of our own and we can step out of those that belong to others. It doesn’t mean we don’t care. It’s simply a way to respect the right of others to disagree and work out their problem themselves. Learning to resolve conflict and find answers in the midst of struggle are valuable tools to carry forward. We can be supportive and kind, and still allow those around us to find answers on their own. We are all responsible for our own lives. We can stand on our own, face our personal struggles, and find the way forward. There isn’t any problem too complex for us to understand and even in difficulty and duress, we can find the way ahead.

Everyone deals with conflict their own way. Some people can step back from their feelings and easily see things objectively and openly. It’s easier to find answers when our emotions aren’t involved, but sometimes if our feelings have been hurt or we are being influenced by others around us, looking at the situation impartially may be more difficult. It’s hard to find the right road ahead when we’re looking in another direction. We can take our time and evaluate what we really want moving forward. The best answers will always be there for us. When we’re ready we will find them.

We all want to make the best decisions going forward but life is complicated and there are often many factors to be considered. When there are many options going in different directions it can be hard to find the right answer. Weighing all the possibilities and seeing where each will take us will clarify our choices and help us choose the best road ahead. There isn’t any puzzle too complex for us figure out. We have all the wisdom and insight we need to resolve any issue and continue toward success.

Today if you’re involved in a struggle that belongs to others, step out and allow them to resolve the conflict together. You need not adopt any issue that isn’t yours. Be supportive and kind and let those involved find the answers they need. You are wise and helpful and can be an example of strength and understanding. Show us your confidence and courage, and continue to move forward toward success.

 

Tags: , ,

Distant Shore

22 Mar

Disappointments and heartache are common experiences in life. They happen to everyone and can be devastating when they come to us. It can be hard to look forward and see anything in front of us when our hearts are broken or we have to face a terrible setback. Plans for our next step may elude us as we grapple with what has happened and try to find our footing. When the pain is great it may be hard to see ahead and all we can think about is making the hurt go away. It can feel like being stranded at sea unable to see land anywhere. We know there is a distant shore out there somewhere but we have no idea how to reach it. When all our plans have disintegrated and our lives feel foreign and out of control it’s hard to find the way forward. Life is all about change and even if we can’t see a future when we’re grieving over something that has devastated us, it’s still there. We will never be left without a shore waiting for us. It may be in the distance and we may need time to find our way to it, but it will always be there waiting for us to arrive. Even if we feel completely lost and alone, even if we don’t know how we’re going to get through, we will find a way. Tomorrow will come and what we’re facing today will change. We can take small steps forward until we feel confident again and are able to see the road ahead. We can stand tall in the midst of despair and look forward. There will always be another road waiting to take us where we want to go. We are strong enough and brave enough, and we have enough wisdom and intelligence to figure out anything that comes. We have all the power we need to overcome anything and we will prevail.

When our circumstances turn and we’re suddenly in a foreign and uncomfortable situation, it may be unsettling and difficult. There may be times when everything we counted on changes and suddenly we’re facing new and uncharted territory. It’s hard to feel confident when we’re in a new set of parameters and aren’t sure which way is up. But we can understand new situations and learn our way around anything that happens. We can trust ourselves to unravel even the most complicated issues and figure out what to do next.

Sorrow is an intense emotion that may overwhelm us. We may feel paralyzed by our misery and believe we’ll be stuck forever. But nothing in life is truly permanent. Everything is always changing and when we’re ready we will find our way again. Disappointments will come but we have everything we need to face whatever life brings. There will always be a way forward and we will find the roads that will take us to success.

Today if you’re heartbroken and devastated and feel like you’ll never be whole again, trust yourself. You’ve overcome many difficult complications already and you will prevail. There isn’t anything strong enough or powerful enough to hold you down. You are amazing and can do anything. Be patient and take courage. Everything you need is there for you. The shore is waiting and you will find it. Take a step forward. Happiness is just ahead.

Tags: , ,

Have Mercy

12 Mar

Everyone makes mistakes from time to time.  We don’t know everything and sometimes we choose the wrong path for many different reasons.  When we choose badly and hurt those around us, we may ask for forgiveness in an effort to move forward more easily.  It’s good to forgive others when they’ve hurt us.  Carrying around anger from an issue in the past can hold us back and rob our freedom.  If we hold onto anger and disappointment it may keep us from happiness, and the weight of the load may make us miserable.  Forgiving someone for something egregious doesn’t justify or excuse their behavior, but allows us to let go of the pain and be free of the anger.  It’s good to have mercy on others when they’ve erred, and shake away anything holding us in place.  When we’ve been hurt or offended, when someone has done something to diminish us or harm us, we may forgive them knowing the act of forgiving them is for us, to release us from the pain.  Mercy is an act of compassion and kindness, and we can have mercy even when it’s difficult.  Everyone is responsible for every decision they make and mercy will never remove accountability or justice.  Even if we’ve been forgiven, we must answer for every choice.  Nobody is perfect and there will be times when we all make mistakes.  We can only control our own decisions and if we’ve been hurt, we can forgive and move on.  Life is long and we have unlimited experiences as we navigate forward.  We need not carry any pain along with us.  We can have mercy, let go, and trust that justice will prevail.

Revenge seems like a good idea when we’ve been hurt.  It seems fair to even to the score and inflict on someone else what they’ve done to us – or worse.  We all want life to be fair, and may try hard to make sure we’re always fair and appropriate with those around us.  If we’ve been treated badly, we may be tempted to strike back in an effort to make things right.  But lowering our standards to those who have done something wrong will only prove we can do what they’ve done.  It will never elevate us, or make us better.

Allowing those who choose badly to be accountable for what they’ve done instead of trying to punish them is appropriate.  When we’ve been hurt we can determine to continue to be the best we can be and live up to the personal standard we’ve set.  Our lives belong to us and what we do is our responsibility.  Instead of evening the score when we’ve been hurt, we can choose instead to overcome it.  There is nothing more important or powerful than our personal integrity.  Choosing well, despite the choices of others will bring us satisfaction and happiness.

Today if someone has hurt you or done something untoward or hateful to you, remember who you are and honor your personal standards.  You are capable of greatness and nothing is more important than your personal integrity.  Rise above contention and choose nobility.  Nothing can diminish you or hold you in place.  Move forward with confidence.  You are amazing and incredible, and there is great success ahead.

Tags: , ,

Fair and Even

7 Mar

As we interact with others who come in and out of our lives, we will meet many different kinds of people.  Some will be nice and enhance our experiences, and others may be difficult.  Everyone has their own expressions and ideas about life. We may agree with them at times and or we may be at odds.  There is an old expression, “An eye for an eye,” which loosely means I will give you back what you give to me.  It seems fair to return what we’ve been given and we may want to keep the score even by doing so.  However, if someone does something mean or hateful to us, returning that to them may not serve us well.  We may feel better hitting back, but all we will have accomplished is proving we can go as low as they did.  Who we are is defined by what we do, not what is done to us.  What seems fair may not always be the best choice.  If we want to be the best we can be, we must be willing to reach higher when we’ve been hit below the belt.  When we’ve been betrayed, scorned, cheated on, lied to, or in any other way demeaned, we can step back and decide what is in our best interest going forward.  We need not continue relationships that don’t work.  We can keep a high standard for our behavior and walk away from those who choose another road.  We are always in control of our decisions and can choose the paths that take us where we want to go.  We can be fair and still move forward with grace and dignity.  We deserve the very best of everything.  By choosing well, we will achieve it.

The fight or flight reflex can have a huge influence over us when we’re in situations that are threatening or aggressive.  We may have an almost uncontrollable desire to run from whomever is involved, or we may feel anger rise in us and desire to smash our opponent.  This is a survival mechanism that warns us of impending danger.  However, most of the time we may not be in real danger, but threatened by a situation or person who is bullying and forceful.  If we take a minute to think about how best to proceed instead of simply reacting, we will find greater success moving forward.  We can take a deep breath, recognize the instinctive cues, and then calmly make a decision about how to proceed.  We can be in control of our lives even when things go wrong and choose the best paths ahead.

Sometimes people get ahead and win despite poor decisions and bad behavior.  It’s hard to watch someone succeed by cheating or bullying, and it goes against our ideas of fair play.  When those who are dishonest or unethical win, we may feel burned and angry.  But life has a way of looping around and in the end, there is no way to escape personal accountability.  We can ensure our peace and happiness going forward by making the best choices each day and choosing the paths that will take us where we most want to go.

Today if someone has done something to hurt you and you want to get back at them, remember who you are and what you really want.  Reach higher and choose the road that will take you to excellence.  You are amazing and powerful, and nothing will stop you from succeeding.  Make your best decisions and every road will open ahead.

Tags: , ,

Avalanche

6 Feb

As we travel our journey through life there are countless turns, switchbacks, detours and times when we must re-route our way forward. There are rarely moments when the road ahead is paved, perfectly straight and without problems. We learn to navigate by adjusting our course as needed, and try to be as flexible as possible in order to get to the goal. Even if we do everything to plan well, sometimes things go awry and all our ideas get stopped in their tracks. It can feel like a huge avalanche has fallen on the road ahead and there is no way around it. We may stop and wait until the road is cleared but there are always other options available. We can sit and watch while others sort out the mess before us, and be patient while a solution is determined, or we can act on our own to move forward. Huge complications that stop our progress take time to untangle and while we’re working on them new options become available. It’s hard to see other roads when we’re focused on moving forward. When we’re stopped we can look around and all other possibilities become clear. There is never only one road to any destination we desire. There are countless ways to travel and endless options to try. We can review all the potential roads ahead and choose the one that works. There is no destination out of reach or impossible to find. We can alter our course and find the way around any avalanche in our path.

Everyone has their own ideas about what can and cannot be done. Some people are confident in their purposes until something goes wrong, at which time they throw up their hands and walk away. If we stop our journey forward every time we hit a snag we’ll end up staying exactly where we are. There will always be problems, there will always be things in the way, and we will often need to change course. Our goals are important and we certainly have everything we need to achieve them. There is no problem we can’t solve, or change we can’t accommodate. We are strong and powerful and can do anything we desire.

We may think we want an easy life, filled with comfort and success that requires us to do little. However, when things are easy we don’t learn anything new and don’t have the opportunity to become strong. Strength is built through trial, not ease. When things go wrong and we have to try harder, or when our plans fail and we have to start over, we gain wisdom and power. We learn to trust ourselves and understand more deeply what we’re made of and how the world works. Everything we need is already inside us. We can reach and find all the courage and insight necessary to go forward toward success and have the lives we want. It’s all there for us. We need only move forward and claim it.

Today if all your plans have been stopped in their tracks and you can’t move forward, look around at the options available. There are many roads that will take you where you want to go. Make a new plan and chart a new course. You will reach your destination. You are powerful and wise, and nothing will keep you from your dreams.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →