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Breaking in Two

21 Jul

We all go through many experiences in our lives. Some are wonderful and the happy memories stay with us forever. Everyone wants happiness and joy in their lives and we strive for it each day. But trouble comes to us all and sometimes serious disappointments or losses come and we feel as though our hearts are broken. We may feel great sadness and despair as we try to find our way through a very hard time and there may be moments when we feel so bad it’s hard to breathe. We may believe we’ll never overcome the sorrow, we’ll never find our way back into the light, and we’ll never be happy again. When we’re brokenhearted and feel lost it’s hard to see anything but what we’re going through. We need time to grieve and adjust to whatever changes have come. How much time we need is different for every situation. Healing has its own schedule and we don’t need to rush it. We can take time to recover and day by day regain our confidence again. There isn’t anything too strong or difficult for us to face but when we’re in the depths of sorrow that may be hard to see. But if we have faith and hold on, each moment will bring healing and comfort, and in time we’ll be happy again.

Nobody has a perfect life. There are ups and downs in every situation and we have little control over what comes to us. Even if we try hard to limit the possibility of problems, they will come. We are forging our own way, a road nobody else has traveled and there will be unexpected twists and turns as we go. We may trust in someone or a situation that lets us down. We may believe in something that isn’t true, and we may want something badly we cannot have. If we push hard for something we want and can’t achieve it no matter what we do, the disappointment may rattle our confidence. If we are intensely involved with others who let us down, we may feel deeply wounded and afraid to trust again. If we are seriously betrayed by a loved one, we may feel broken and lost. Severe setbacks can make us doubt our worth and our capabilities. We may believe we can’t survive and will never get through them.

No matter what comes to us, no matter how hard it is to face or how difficult it is to navigate, there is nothing – nothing – too difficult for us to get through. We are smart enough to figure out even the most complex problems, and we are strong enough to endure any struggle. When we’re broken and disheartened we can remember that and move forward. We may shed a thousand tears, have many sleepless nights, and feel desperately sad. But we will survive. And we will conquer even the hardest of challenges. We have everything we need to overcome anything that comes to us. Each day will bring us more courage as we move forward and in time we’ll find ourselves on a new road with sunshine and light. There isn’t anything we can’t do. We are capable of greatness and nothing can stop us.

Today if you’re facing heartbreak over something that has hurt you deeply, remember you are strong and there isn’t anything too difficult for you to manage. You have great courage and you will be successful no matter what you’re facing. You can do anything. Have faith. You will overcome.

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Fault Lines

20 Jul

As we go through our lives and make decisions, sometimes we take a wrong turn and make choices that don’t work out.  We might make decisions that take us somewhere we don’t want to go or bring us hardship.  If we are heavily influenced to make a decision and we agree to it and it doesn’t work out we may blame the person who pressured us to comply.  We may say it’s their fault we are miserable.  While it’s true others may strongly influence us and their pressure may be great, if we decide to go along with their request the decision is ultimately ours.  The choice belongs to us and the results of that choice are also ours.  We own them.  We may say we were forced to do something we really didn’t want to do and there may have been great pressure to comply but the choice we make is ours.  There is no way to push the consequences of our decisions onto others.  We may be angry we complied and we may be unhappy with what has happened, but we own the decision.  Of course, those who pressured us have their part to answer for but we direct our own lives and what we choose is our responsibility.

Blaming can be a dangerous game.  If we make it a habit of blaming others or situations for our decisions we may successfully push the attention onto them but it will never change the truth.  If we don’t accept our role in our decisions and say it’s someone or something else’s fault, we can’t learn from the experience.  If we don’t learn from what has happened, we may repeat the whole process again.  The old adage that those who don’t learn from the past are destined to repeat it is true.  If we can’t accept our responsibility for a bad decision we can’t learn the lessons that may keep us from making the same choice again.  Nobody wants a life going from one disaster to the next but if we don’t learn from our choices that may be our experience.

Making mistakes is a natural part of life.  We don’t know everything and we don’t know what we don’t know.  We sometimes blunder through with half the information we need to make a good decision and sometimes we are blinded by promises that are half true.  If we falter and choose something that brings hardship or disappointment and take the time to see where we made the wrong turn it can help us prevent doing it again in the future.  There is great benefit in going through hard lessons and if we are wise we will take the time to learn as much as we can as we navigate them.  Many times we make excellent decisions that take us where we want to go.  We often choose well and are happy with our choices.  We can be confident that if we make a wrong turn we will be able to right our course and go forward with courage.

Today if you’ve made a wrong turn and chosen something that has brought you disappointment or hardship, accept your decision and move forward.  Learn all you can from the experience and be confident.  You are wise and able to choose well.  A setback will not stop you.  Turn your course and continue again.  You will find great success.

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Tough Nut

18 Jul

Sometimes when we have difficult things we have to do or when a situation becomes hard to handle, we often feel we’re having a bad time.  Difficult problems can be hard to solve and we may struggle to find answers but it doesn’t always mean it’s a bad experience.  Hard times don’t always mean bad times.  Untangling complicated developments and figuring out unexpected problems may take us off the path we want to be on but that’s not always a bad thing.  We learn a lot as we tackle new situations and everything we learn can be beneficial to us in some way.  If we look at these situations more positively we may find our way through them more easily.  We are capable of managing any problem or complication that comes to us.  We know in the beginning we’ll eventually solve the issue no matter how hard it is, and in the end we will be successful.  If we focus on that instead of the annoyance of going through the issue we will benefit more from the experience and feel better as we push through.

Some problems are very complicated and take time to find answers to.  In many cases, it doesn’t matter how long it takes us to solve them and we can take all the time we need.  We can ponder them, think about the outcomes we want and work them step by step.  At each point as we try to crack the nut, we learn something valuable.  Everything we learn we take with us going forward.  If we have a complex issue that requires going through a lot of steps to find the answers, we grow with each step we take.  Once the problem is solved, all the knowledge we’ve gained getting through it will be valuable and will help us in the future.  Tough nuts may be hard to crack but with determination and faith we will always break through.

It’s a common expression to see difficulty unfavorably and we all want to avoid trouble.  But hard or difficult situations aren’t necessarily bad.  When things are running smoothly our lives seem less worrisome and easier to manage.  But nothing runs smoothly all the time.  There will be regular snags, bumps, detours, problems, and complications.  It’s the nature of life.  Learning to see these experiences merely as enhancements that teach us and not roadblocks that stop us in our tracks will help us gain more as we navigate through them.  There is no problem too difficult for us to solve and no situation too complicated for us to figure out.  We can remember that and see our difficulties for what they are – complications in the process.   If we do, we’ll be more confident moving forward.

Today if you are facing something difficult and you feel it’s a bad situation that’s greater than you can handle, take a more objective look at it.  It’s just a complication along the way.  You will solve it and you will find your way through.  You have everything you need to succeed and you’ll learn more as you go.  You’ll solve the problem no matter what it is.  Be confident.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.

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Sand

28 Jun

If you’ve ever been to the beach and played in the sand for any length of time you know how insidious it can be. The shore is covered with sand and as we walk on it, play in it and swim around it we get it in our swimsuits, in our shorts, in our shoes, in our hair and everywhere else. But we’re having fun and although it can be annoying and gritty to deal with, it’s worth the trade-off. In our lives there are lots of people around us all the time. Though not as numerous as sand particles on the beach, there are many continually in and out of our lives. If we surround ourselves with good, strong people our associations may be beneficial and helpful. But if we continually interact with others whose choices aren’t positive, and who do things that bring problems and heartache to those around them, our time with them may hurt us. Like the sand that finds its way all over us and then begins to chafe, if we continually associate with those who hurt us we will be unhappy.

We build and create our relationships for lots of reasons. Sometimes they evolve because of association, sometimes they are part of our family, sometimes we build them because we like what they bring us, and sometimes we’re in them because there is history that cannot be undone. And sometimes our relationships change and become difficult to navigate. We don’t have to keep any relationship that makes us uncomfortable or that brings us hardship but it can be hard to stop a pattern if we’ve been involved for a long period of time. We might try to distance ourselves from a toxic situation but if we don’t sever the ties that hold us to it, that will do little to fix the problem. It’s like brushing sand off the outside of our bathing suit but doing nothing to wash out the grit that has made its way inside it. Things may look better on the outside, but the problem is still there. No matter who we’re involved with, and no matter what their relationship is to us if we are not happy, we can change it.

If we stay in relationships that hurt us and do nothing to change them, our unhappiness may increase. No matter what the situation is we always have the power to modify our circumstances so we can move forward comfortably and happily. If we’re dealing with someone who is rude and offensive, we can speak up and clearly state our boundaries. If we have a difficult family member we can set the example for patience and insist on being treated with respect. If we’re in a relationship that isn’t working and we want to move on we can do what is needed to make that happen. There isn’t anything we can’t manage and if we’ve got sand in our shoes, we can shake it out. If it’s in our hair, we can wash it out. And if it’s in our clothes, we can change them. Our lives belong to us and we can do whatever is needed to be happy and successful.

Today if you’re in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, be honest and do what is needed to change it. You deserve to be happy. Take charge and change your course. Shake out the sand and enjoy the beach. You have everything it takes to move forward.

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Seeing and Believing

27 Jun

Most of the time we think we see ourselves as we really are.  We think we know who we are and how others see us.  But it’s possible we aren’t seeing ourselves objectively and sometimes we may be wrong about how we appear to those around us.  For instance, we might think we seem quite sedentary because we don’t like to work out but in fact others might see us busily doing things most of the time and think we’re quite active.  Or we might think we’re intense because we can feel all our emotions while others think we are easy going. It takes effort to see everything objectively but if we step back and really look at what we’re doing we can get a better picture of who we really are.  Part of the reason we miss our personal cues are the expectations we set for ourselves.  If we set very high standards for ourselves and don’t meet them, we may judge critically and reflect the perceived deficiency as failure.  But we don’t need to do that.  It’s possible we’re doing better than we think we are.   And it’s also possible we aren’t seeing that.  If we step back and really look objectively as an outsider sees us we may find we look different than we thought.  And we might even find we look great.

Personal expectations can be very high.  Sometimes when we set them we expect to achieve them right away.  Expecting to change immediately just because we’ve decided we want it never works.  It takes time and effort to do things in new ways and adopt new behaviors.  We need time for the adjustment it takes to get there.  If we can change our thinking to consider our personal expectations instead as personal goals and then make a plan to achieve them we’ll feel more confident as we’re learning the new pattern.  Nobody’s life is perfect and we all want to make changes from time to time.  Anticipating immediate change will defeat us.  We can allow time to learn new behaviors we want to adopt and then clearly see the steps we’re making each day that take us closer to them.  If we acknowledge our progress as we’re moving closer to where we want to be we’ll be more self-assured and confident that we’ll succeed.

Even if we’re capable of seeing others objectively as they are, we may struggle to see truth when evaluating ourselves.  We are often harder and more critical of ourselves than we are of others.  We may expect to do things right every time, to never falter, and to achieve everything we set out to do without problems.  It’s fine to set lofty goals but our lives are never defined by unmarred lines in the sand.  We are fluid and will sometimes make choices that aren’t perfect.  There is no way to prevent wavering from time to time.  It’s the overall picture that counts.  If our feet are pointed in the right direction, and if we strive to do the best we can at every turn, we are doing well.  We aren’t perfect and we will make mistakes.  But if we can look at the big picture of who we really are despite our imperfections we may see that we are more accomplished and capable than we thought.  We do a lot of things well, and we do some things very well.  Seeing those honestly will bring us confidence and clarity as we move forward.

Today if you feel you’re less than you want to be, step back and look at yourself objectively.  You may see you have more going for you than you thought.  You have accomplished many wonderful things already.  Acknowledge them and be confident. You have all you need to be successful in everything you choose going forward.

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