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Easy Questions Hard Answers

18 Dec

When we’re making decisions about our lives, deciding where we want to go, and what we want to do, we have to answer a lot of questions. Some are quick, and we know the answers before we even think about them but others, although they look easy at first, can be hard to answer. Questions can be deceptive. Something simple like, “What do you want to do now?” seems easy on the surface, but when the answers we choose have far reaching consequences, they can be hard to resolve. We spend so much time doing what others expect from us, what we think we should be doing, and what is required to make things work that when it comes to questions about our personal choices they can be harder to answer than they seem at first. What do we want to do now? Where do we want to go? What do we want to accomplish? How can we make it happen? These all seem like easy questions, but the answers can be elusive.

It seems we sometimes forget who we really are and what we really want. We’re busy, and trying hard to get things done, we have a lot of responsibilities, and at the end of the day we may feel like we’ve been lost in the shuffle. But if we want to be happy, really happy with our lives, and stand on the road we most want to be on, we need to think about what we really want. Do we want to spend time doing the same thing tomorrow we did today? Are we doing what’s most important to us? Are we happy? Do we feel fulfilled with how we’re spending our days? All are important questions. If our lives are too busy, we may not take time to look at them and find the answers. We need to remember what we truly want, and who we really are. Our lives belong to us and we can live them any way we want to.

Sometimes we can tangled up in situations that take us off course. Maybe we commit to a relationship that isn’t working, or we keep a job we hate, or we continue to do something that makes us miserable because others expect it. When that happens, it takes determination and courage to step away and do what is needed to turn things around. But we have sufficient determination and courage to do it. We have everything we need to change our course, and we are the only ones who can make it happen. We don’t have to convince anyone we need to change, we don’t have to come up with a dozen reasons why what we’ve been doing isn’t working, and we don’t have to feel any guilt. If we need to change, we can change. We are in control of our time and our futures. We can have the lives we want most, be the person we want to be, and live happily. The moment we decide is the perfect time to start.

Today if you’ve been doing things that aren’t working and you aren’t happy, think about what you want the most. Remember who you really are and then make the changes necessary to bring happiness into your life. Every day is a precious gift. Your gift is today. Make it work for you. Make it the way you want it to be. You deserve everything you want. Reach for it, and make it yours.

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Modification

21 Nov

There are times in our lives when we may find the road we’re on isn’t taking us where we thought it would. The signs are there, we can see we aren’t moving forward, and we may end up further from the goal than when we started. It seems the logical thing to do at a time like that is to adjust our trajectory to one that takes us closer to where we want to go. However, if we are convinced the path we’ve chosen is right, and believe that if we just keep going we’ll eventually succeed, we may stay the course. We’ve probably all heard the definition of insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It’s the same thing if we know something isn’t working but keep pushing forward thinking it will change. We may not be crazy, but the idea that continuing on the same incorrect course will magically change it into one that works isn’t logical. And it certainly won’t help us get to our destination.

When we are confident in our decisions, whatever they are, and proceed forward, we expect things to work out as planned. We foresee that we’ll get from point A to point B by using the plan we’ve created and the path we’ve chosen. If we hit a few snags at the beginning we may overlook them and continue on. If we continue to falter we may think it’s just a matter of time or working a bit harder to be successful. But eventually if we see we aren’t going anywhere, and despite working harder at the problem nothing is changing, we need to stop and reconsider. It never works to keep moving forward or pushing harder if we’re going the wrong way. We may struggle with admitting our plan isn’t working but ignoring the facts will only prevent us from gaining success. If we want to achieve the goal, and what we’re doing isn’t working, it’s time to reorganize, rethink, and make a new plan.

It’s good to be confident, and we are capable of making excellent decisions. But nobody is perfect and sometimes things don’t work out with the methods we’ve chosen. There is nothing wrong with revising our plans. If we need to, it’s wise to adjust our course and retool going forward. But if we’re so sure we’re right and choose our opinion over doing what is needed to succeed, all we’ll have in the end is our opinion. We can win if we humble ourselves enough to accept the need to change and then do what is required to make success possible. After all, success is the goal – not the process to get there.

Today if you’ve been pushing and pushing and nothing is changing or you find you’re going in the wrong direction, stop and look at the situation again. Be open to adjusting your course and the answers will come. Start again, and make changes as they are needed. You will achieve your goal and you’ll be successful. You have everything you need to win. Be flexible and you’ll get there.

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Square One

13 Nov

When we’re working on something, or trying to move forward with a situation in our lives, we try to choose the best course. But sometimes after we’ve been at it for a while we find we’re in the wrong place, and what we’ve been doing isn’t working. And then we have to stop, and rethink the situation. It can feel defeating to discover we are back at square one again, and we have to start over realizing all the progress we thought we were making was an illusion. We need to regroup and reconsider where to go from here. Being at square one after we’ve been working to move forward can feel like failure, but there is sometimes no way to see where we’re going until we get there. Choosing the wrong path doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means we tried one option that didn’t work. Returning to the beginning again isn’t always a step backward. Sometimes it’s the next step forward. We’ve discovered what doesn’t work and are wiser from the experience. Now we can choose again knowing more than we knew before.

Nobody can tell the future and there is no way to know how things will develop. Even if we try to consider all the possible complications that may occur, there is bound to be one we didn’t see. All we can do is use the information we have to formulate our best plan and go forward. When that doesn’t work, we have to try again. We never fail when we keep trying, but only if we stop and give up. Some things work out the first time, but often when we’re trying to learn new things, accomplish something complicated, or correct our path, it takes a few attempts before we figure things out. We learn as we go and each experience gives us valuable information to use going forward.

The expectations of others sometimes create stress as we are trying to find our way. There may be some who expect us to get everything right the first time, or some who are impatient with how long it takes us to get the job done. But we are all different, and we process things differently. We can take a little more time if we need to, and we can try a few different roads until we succeed. When we do things our way we’ll find what works and we will succeed. We are capable of figuring out any problem or situation that comes to us. Returning to square one will enable us to reevaluate, and use the new information we have to determine the best way forward.

Today if what you’ve been doing isn’t working, you can change your course. Start over, rethink the situation, and look at it again with all the information you have. You will find your way and you’ll be successful. Returning to square one is not failure. It’s the chance to begin again. Use it to define what will work and you’ll succeed.

 

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Unbelievable

26 Oct

When we make plans with others and decide to meet somewhere, we expect them to show up.  When we work on a project and someone commits to doing something, we expect them to follow through.  We plan our lives around our commitments and the promises of others.  But sometimes things don’t go the way we plan.  Unfortunately, sometimes people don’t keep their word, their promise, or their commitment to do something or be somewhere.  If it’s inconsequential and doesn’t impact our lives very much, we may overlook it.  But if they continually fail to follow through, we learn we can’t believe them.  If we can’t trust them to keep their word we may decide not to be in a position where we have to rely on them.  Being unbelievable is detrimental to our progress.  If we let that happen, we’ll lose the trust of those around us, and trust once lost, is difficult to rebuild.

We always have the option of saying no when we’re asked to do something.  If we don’t think we can follow through, instead of saying we will, we should decline.  Even if the other person is insistent, if we aren’t sure we can do it, we should not commit.  It’s far better to be truthful about our circumstances than to agree to something we’re doubtful we can fulfill.  If we say we’ll do something, it needs to happen.  If we say we’ll be somewhere, we need to show.  Of course, sometimes complications arise and we aren’t able to follow through, but that shouldn’t happen continually.  If we drop the ball again and again, and fail to keep our word, and are not believable, people will learn not to ask us to join in.  In the long run we may lose valuable opportunities.

People can change and we can restore our credibility if we’ve lost it, but it will take time and unrelenting diligence.  We must commit to following through on our word no matter what.  We have to show up without exception, always do what we said we would, and never break our word going forward.  When we first decide to change our course and become reliable, those who’ve dealt with us in the past may not believe us.  It takes time to restore trust that’s been broken and it takes time to change our image.  But if it’s important to us, if we want to be trustworthy and believable, we can do it.  Each time we keep our word we’ll get closer to where we want to be.  If we are careful and follow through every time, eventually we’ll restore our image, and people will believe we are trustworthy.  We will become believable and reliable.

Today if you realize you’ve broken promises and neglected to follow through on your word in the past, but now want to change your behavior, commit to doing whatever it takes to correct your course.  Do everything needed to keep your promises, and be where you agreed to be or do what you said you’d do.  Make sure you don’t commit to anything you aren’t sure you can accomplish, and then keep every commitment.  You know what needs to be done.  Turn the tide in your favor today and keep it flowing your way.  Others want to trust you.  Give them a good reason to do it.

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At Odds

18 Oct

When we decide we want to do something, or change something in our lives, the decision often comes with the need to modify our behavior in some way. Making the decision to change may be easier than implementing the necessary adjustments to our behavior to make the change a reality. For instance if we want to get fit but don’t take the time to exercise, or want to be more educated but don’t want to study, we work against ourselves. We are at odds with what we want to do. If we ignore what is needed to implement the change, and instead simply complain about not being successful, we will fail. It’s good to define our goals, but without action to make them happen, we aren’t going anywhere.

Routines give us a sense of order. We know what to expect, we know how we’re going to spend our time, and we feel comfortable in the sameness they offer. When we decide we want to change, it often means we also have to change our routine. We have to vary things and re-order them to accommodate the new challenge. Things may be bumpy for a while as we adjust to the new schedule. We will have to plan instead of just go through the motions, and pay attention so we adhere to the new model. The transition may be uncomfortable but if we keep the goal in mind we’ll get through more easily. After we’ve kept to the new agenda for a while, it will replace our previous routine and we’ll go forward with more confidence.

Change requires effort. Adjusting our routine is important but it’s just one step. We must also adhere to the actions needed to facilitate the change we’re seeking. Once we’ve decided what we want to do we must devote the required time and activity to the goal to achieve it. A half attempt will result in a half success, which really isn’t success at all. If we want something, we are perfectly capable of getting it. But we have to take the time and effort needed to get it done. We can live an easy life and do the same things every day. Or we can determine to get the most out of our time, push ourselves, and dedicate our lives to excellence and success. A life lived fully, and without reserve, brings more happiness and joy than a life lived complacently. The choice is ours, and we need to be sure the choice we make is the one we want the most.

Today if you’ve been trying to make a change and haven’t been successful, review your routine and make a plan to include whatever is needed for you to move forward. You can make any change you want, and you can do it effectively. Plan your actions to find success. Achieving your goals will bring you great satisfaction and confidence. Take charge and do what is needed to get there. You can do this. Push forward and you’ll reach the finish line.

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