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Hiding Places

29 Feb

Life is full of challenges. We face some sort of challenge every day and sometimes they are difficult for us to manage. If they seem too hard we might decide that instead of facing them we’ll hide. There are limitless places to hide if we want to. If we have a relationship issue we don’t want to face, we can hide by working long hours so we’re unavailable to talk about it. If we don’t want to see someone, we may hide by creating unexpected complications that prevent us from meeting them.  We can hide in limitless ways when we don’t want to face something. But if we want to be the best we can be we have to be willing to face whatever comes to us. We are capable of managing anything we encounter but we may forget that if we’re threatened or afraid of the outcome.  But hiding never works. All it does is delay the inevitable, and trying to hide indefinitely is exhausting. The best we can do when things get difficult is determine to face them head on, no matter what comes. We’ll have to confront our problems at some point. It’s best to do it when they first appear because aren’t going away until we solve them. We are wise enough, brave enough, and smart enough to face whatever the issue is, and find an acceptable resolution.

Truth is truth and no matter what we do, it will always surface. Looking the other way or pretending it doesn’t exist changes nothing. Hiding from the truth only prevents us from moving forward. If we aren’t moving forward, we’re either standing still or going backward – neither of which will take us to our goals. When things go wrong, or we’re facing developments that are difficult, the only way to get through them is to face them squarely, figure them out, resolve them, and move on. It may be painful, but we are capable of managing pain. It might be complicated, but we’re smart enough to figure anything out, and it might take some time, but as we process the problem we’re moving forward through it. We can handle whatever it takes.

Nothing stays the same in life. Whatever we’re going through today will be different tomorrow. We can’t control the things that come to us but if we proactively face our problems and find workable solutions to them, we can move through them. Once we’ve solved them, we can let them go, and move forward. If we hide and obsess over them instead of facing them, we force ourselves to carry them longer than we must. Carrying problems around instead of solving them gets us nowhere, and can have a negative impact on our ability to be happy. We all deserve to be happy. By courageously facing our problems, and determining the wisest path going forward, we can solve them, and find our peace again. Happiness is a gift we give to ourselves. Refusing to hide even when things get hard allows us to return to happiness as quickly as possible.

Today if you’ve been hiding from something that has been difficult for you, do what you must to take the first step in solving the issue. There isn’t anything you can’t manage. You are strong enough and smart enough to face anything. Face the problem and solve it. Your happiness will return and you’ll feel more confident going forward. You can do anything. Today do your best to move forward.

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One Word One Thought

27 Feb

Nobody’s life is perfect and sometimes things go wrong for all of us. When it’s very disappointing or upsetting, we may get angry. If that happens we don’t always keep the anger to ourselves and unfortunately instead let others share it. Perhaps we use offensive words to express how we feel that aren’t part of our every day speech. Or we snap at others who may or may not have had anything to do with our problem. We’re only human and there are times when we aren’t at our best. It happens. If others experience our outburst they may decide out of frustration to return it for one of their own, and then the whole thing can get out of hand. Once things have escalated it’s hard to rein them back in. Feelings can get hurt, and relationships can be bruised. After we’ve ended our furious outburst, and we’ve settled back down, we’ll have to apology for the damage we’ve done, and try to make things right.

Anger can be a very destructive emotion. We all feel it from time to time, but the way we express it is different for everyone. When we’re children we may cry or scream, or kick our feet and stomp off, but as we become adults we must find other ways to deal with it. Some people point their anger inward and manifest specific behaviors to cope. Perhaps they overeat, or can’t sleep, or they close themselves off and hide until they feel better. Compromising ourselves to keep anger hidden away doesn’t help us deal with it, and sometimes the behaviors we embrace while we’re coping make the situation worse in the end. Others of us express our anger outwardly. We take it out on those around us spreading collateral damage everywhere we turn. We say things we don’t mean, and lash out at whomever comes close. Unfortunately those behaviors can damage our relationships and if they are chronic, can ruin them. Learning to deal effectively with anger takes time and practice. It doesn’t just happen the first time we get mad. We have to learn how to control our responses in ways that help us resolve our anger, instead of making it worse.

If someone near us is angry and acting out, instead of jumping into the fray, we can instead offer a word of encouragement. If we do, the anger may lose its impact and suddenly emotions may turn. It’s said that a kind word can turn away wrath – and it’s true. If someone near us is angry and acting out, one kind word from us may change everything. It doesn’t take a lot of effort but it does take self control and thought. We are capable of both. If we’re the angry one lashing out at those around us, we can stop for just a moment, take a breath, and think of one good thing. It doesn’t have to be a big thing, like world peace, it can be something small. Perhaps we had a delicious muffin for breakfast, or the sun is shining, or we really like the color of the shirt we’re wearing. If we can focus on one good thought for just a moment, everything can change. We can put things back into perspective and more effectively navigate our way through. A kind word, or a positive thought are powerful and can help us through difficult situations. Our relationships and interactions are important. When things go wrong, we can do something to preserve them. We can exercise self control and keep the situation for becoming destructive. One kind word or one good thought may be all it takes.

Today if you’re angry about something you can’t accept, stop for a moment and think about one good thing that’s happening right now. There is always something and when you find it, focus on it for a moment. You’ll feel better and you’ll see things more clearly. If someone near you is angry and lashing out, offer a kind word of encouragement to let them know you care. We are all capable of more than we realize. We can do anything. We can do our part to bring harmony back into our lives when trouble is at the door.

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Straight Lines

10 Feb

Our lives don’t usually travel in straight lines. As we move forward, perhaps we take one road and hit a detour, and then turn our course toward another direction. Sometimes we change direction several times until we find our way. We learn as we go, and as we’re learning we modify where we’re headed. At first we might think we know the way, but after several complications make an adjustment. Most things we accomplish are done through trial and error. The errors aren’t permanent road blocks, but merely indications that some correction is needed. Generally the only time we move forward in a straight line is when we’re traveling a road we’ve already conquered. When we’ve been there before, we know the way and it’s easy to get from the beginning to the end. But when we want to go somewhere new, it’s all up for grabs. Maybe this way will work, may that. It doesn’t matter how many times it takes us to find the direction that works. What matters is that we don’t quit when the first road doesn’t take us there.

If we want to do something and the first time out doesn’t work, we don’t have to continue. We can quit. If we didn’t find our way the first time we may decide that trying again isn’t worth the effort. Our lives belong to us and we can manage them any way we like. But if we really want to get somewhere, and it’s important to us, we can try again. The great thing about life is we get unlimited chances to figure things out. We are where we are at any given moment. We know what we’ve learned so far and when we’re reaching for something new there will be situations we haven’t yet faced. We won’t know the perfect way to get there, and sometimes don’t know how much effort it will take. But we do know where we want to go, and knowing that will give us the temerity and courage to find our way.

Failure doesn’t happen when we don’t find our way the first time. Failure only happens when we give up and quit trying. We can get lost again and again and again, but if we reset our direction and try one more time, we haven’t failed. We’ve learned more than we knew when we started out, we’ve discovered what doesn’t work, and we can keep refining things until we get to the destination. There are lots of different roads to every destination. If we keep going, turning here when needed, redirecting there when we reach a detour, we will find our way. We are creative and strong enough to keep going. If the goal is important, it really doesn’t matter how many times it takes us to reach it. What’s important is that we keep going until we succeed. And when we’ve achieved a difficult goal, when we’ve finally mastered everything we need to be successful we will feel great accomplishment, and our confidence will soar. There really isn’t anything we can’t do if we want to badly enough. We can climb mountains, build cities, master new skills, and become the person we most want to be. Everything is available to us. All we have to do is keep going. There is no road too long to travel, no journey too hard to conquer, and no goal too lofty to reach. We can do anything.

Today if you’ve been trying to accomplish something and haven’t found the right road yet, keep trying. It’s there and you will see it. Every road you’ve taken so far has brought you closer to where you want to be. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Try again. The goal is just around the next bend. It’s waiting for you and you will reach it. Don’t stop. You have everything you need to succeed.

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Leave and Take

26 Jan

There is a famous line from the movie “The Godfather,” that says, “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.” It’s given just after someone has been murdered and the killers are leaving the scene. Evidently it didn’t matter if the gun was found, but the connoli was treasured and not to be left behind. Although we will probably never be in a situation where we’ll use this same phrase in the same way, there will be times after an experience when there’ll be something we’ll want to leave behind, and something we’ll want to take with us. Every experience in life teaches us something. Sometimes the lesson is easy, and sometimes it’s hard and difficult to navigate. When we’ve been through something difficult, something that shakes us and makes us sad, worried or regretful, it helps to think about what we can learn from the experience and take with us. We don’t need to take the pain and disappointment, and can leave that behind. Every lesson we learn gives us something going forward that will shape us into who we become. Since we’re constantly changing, those lessons are continuous. If we learn all we can each time we struggle and take that with us, chances are we won’t have to learn the same lesson again.

Nobody wants to suffer or be in pain. Pain is our body’s way of telling us something is wrong. Physical pain can often be treated by a physician and medication can take the edge off and make it bearable. Emotional pain tells us something is wrong as well, or that we’ve made a mistake. Unfortunately, there is no medicine that will eliminate emotional pain, and generally we must endure it until we find a way around it. Our friends and family may try to comfort us, and sometimes that helps, or we may try to shake it off and let it go, and sometimes that helps too. But when we’re hurting, if the pain is intense, it can be hard to get through and see that it will end. During those times it’s helpful to think about what we can take away from the experience that may help us going forward. There is always something to be learned, and something to be gained when we’ve been hurt.

It seems that life would be so much better if nobody could hurt us or make mistakes that bring us discomfort. But we are human beings and we aren’t perfect. There is no way for us to be perfect and we’re going to falter. We will all hurt ourselves and sometimes we’ll hurt others either intentionally or accidentally because of choices we make. It’s unavoidable. We don’t know everything, we can’t see the future and sometimes even our very best guesses are wrong. Getting hurt is part of life and although it’s uncomfortable and we don’t want it, if we are wise and try to learn everything we can from our experiences and take all we can learn away with us when we go forward, we’ll be in a better position to prevent the same pain from returning. There isn’t anything we can’t handle. If we focus on what we’re learning when we’re managing problems, we will find something positive in the end. And finding something positive in the depths of sorrow will bring us comfort.

Today if you’re going through a hard time and you’re suffering, try to see the situation objectively and find the one good thing you can take away with you. You will leave this trial behind you in time, and all the pain that went with it. Take away the best part – what you learned from the experience. You’ll become wiser and you’ll feel stronger knowing you have gained something new. You can handle anything that comes. You’re strong and capable. Be confident and go forward learning all you can.

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Taking Chances

25 Jan

There are limitless choices we can make every day.  We can play it safe and do what is expected, or we can try something new.  We can take a chance on a different experience and stretch our wings a little.  If we want to we can take big chances and really push ourselves.  We could try base jumping, or ice climbing, or sky diving, or we can be a little more cautious and just do something small.  Some people are fearless and will try just about anything, and others of us take a more reserved stance.  If we’re fearless, trying new things may be a common experience, but if we’re more reserved we may struggle to step out of our comfort zones.  This life is all about learning.  Every day we get the chance to learn many new things and if we choose to we can take advantage of those opportunities and embellish our lives.  Taking a chance will open new doors for us, and take us to places we haven’t seen before but we have to be willing to take the first step to get there.  If we are, the world becomes our oyster and we can feast on many new experiences.

Playing it safe and sticking to what we know brings comfort for many of us.  We may not want to venture too far from home plate and risk not making it back.  But we can’t prevent what comes to us whether we take a chance or not, and control is just an illusion.  We can do everything possible to stay within the lines and still face complications.  There is no such thing as perfect safety.  We live in a world with many other people, all of whom are making decisions all the time.  Some of those decisions will impact us no matter what we do.  Unless we isolate ourselves in some sort of fortress and never venture out, it’s probable that the unexpected will come.  And when it does, we will manage it.  There isn’t anything that will happen that we can’t manage.  That being true, stepping out a little and taking a chance on something new is always possible.

When we open the door to new experiences, we discover hidden talents within ourselves.  Our routines only stretch us so far.  If we really want to know what we can do, we need to break the mold.  There is no way to know what we can accomplish unless we try.  We all have skills that lie dormant because our current lifestyles don’t require them.  If we change things up, we have the opportunity to awaken them and learn more about ourselves.  We are complex and capable people.  We can do anything we want to do.  Stepping out, stretching, trying new things, and taking a chance will open our lives up to experiences that will enrich us, and deepen our understanding of our world.  We only get one time around in this life.  If we make the most of it, and try many new things we’ll be more fulfilled and happier with our experience here.

Today if you’re thinking about taking a chance on something new, go for it.  You won’t know what you can do until you begin.  There really is nothing too difficult or complicated for you to try.  Get the most out of your life and stretch your wings.  You may be surprised at how quickly you learn to fly.

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