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Snapshots

2 Oct

As we go through our lives, there are memories that stay with us. Sometimes they are etched in our minds forever because the event was so intense – the death of a loved one, the day our child was born, or when we met the love of our lives.  But often they aren’t anything extraordinary but regular days where something unexpected happened or we felt something deeply. We remember a day at the beach when we found a perfectly round pebble on the shore. Or the time we had lunch with friends and the waiter told a joke so funny we couldn’t stop laughing. Or we remember a long walk through a quiet forest and how fresh the air felt. Our minds capture these events like snapshots frozen in time. Perhaps someone says something and a memory comes forward, or we smell a familiar but long lost scent that takes us back, or we see something and suddenly we are transformed back in time to a special moment. Our lives race by so quickly and when we remember a time before now, we have the chance to reflect and see how far we’ve come.

Every one of our days is sacred. We can only live through them one time and then they are gone. But our memories last forever. They are stored close to our hearts reminding us of who we are, and where we’ve been. It’s impossible to remember everything and some people preserve their daily activities by keeping a journal or a diary. Others take lots of pictures and revisit them again and again. And some of us just rely on ourselves to remember special moments. Whatever we’re doing, memories take us back to times before, and help us understand the road we’ve been on. If we let them, our memories will teach us and show us how much we’ve grown.

When memories are painful we may want them to disappear. If they revisit us again and again and we can’t make them stop there may be unresolved issues from whatever happened. The memory may be a reminder that we still have work to do to move forward. If that’s the case, the only way to stop the pain is to face the memory head on and deal with it. Opening old wounds is never easy but sometimes it’s the only way to make them heal. If we can face the pain openly, see everything clearly, and let it wash over us, we can begin to let it go. We have to open the door to walk through it. And then on the other side we can start to move forward again and although the memory will still be there, working through it will help stop the pain attached to it.

Today if you remember a time gone by that brought you joy, take a moment to relive the memory. Enjoy the experience again and be happy. If you remember something that hurts, look at it, and take some time to work through the pain until you can begin to let it go. Your memories are blessings. Painful or joyful, they are proof that you are here. And being here is wonderful. It’s the greatest blessing of all.

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The Road We Travel

1 Oct

Opinions about everything vary from one person to the next. Some people like one thing, and others hate it. We own our opinions and we’re entitled to them. We don’t have to change them even if everyone else disagrees. Opinions about us and the way we’re living our lives may vary. We may have friends who support our decisions, and others who think we’re way off the mark. Sometimes opinions color the way others feel about us, and if they’re negative they can also color how we feel about ourselves. We may live our lives any way we choose to, but if that brings us criticism it may impact our confidence. If someone we care about tells us we’re making stupid decisions, and we should do things differently, we may feel less confident. But just because someone has an opinion about us, that doesn’t mean it’s true. Although we may understand that, a negative comment about our choices or how we’re living can have a strong impact on us.

It’s important to be confident in who we are and what we’re doing. We are the only ones with all the facts about our lives. Those around us can only hear what we tell them, and observe what they see. They can’t feel the things we feel or understand our personal inspirations. Since they have only part of the story, their opinions may be inaccurate. However, if we care about them, their comments may carry a lot of weight, even if they’re the opposite of how we feel. When that happens we may become confused and forget which way we’re going. There are a lot of roads out there, and others may have an idea about which one is best for us. But in fact, the only road they get to pick is the one they’re on. We get to choose the one we travel.

Our lives belong to us. If we want to quit our jobs and join the circus, we can. If we want to move to another country, we can. If want to live alone, get married, eat pie for dinner, go base jumping, or open a tattoo shop, we can. We can do whatever we want to, and live our lives according to our personal choices. Others may disagree with us, or they may support us. But in the end what really matters is that we’re living our lives our way. If we aren’t hurting others, we have the right to do whatever we want to. We can be confident in our choices. Every single day we’re here is a gift. We can’t afford to waste a single moment doing what others think is best for us unless it’s also what we want. Doing it our way is the road to true happiness.

Today if you’ve been told you’re going the wrong way, or should change the way you’re doing things, be polite and thank the giver for their concern. And then determine what’s best for you. You can make decisions that are right for you even if they are different than what others think. Be strong and go forward on the road you’ve chosen. You know what you want and you know how to get it. Today belongs to you. Own it.

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Full Stop

29 Sep

Recently there was a story in the news about a young fast food worker who did something extraordinary.  During the dinner rush, a man came into the restaurant that was paralyzed and in a wheelchair.  After placing his order, he told the worker he needed help cutting his food up and eating it.  The worker got the man’s food, immediately closed out his register, and walked him to a table where he sat with him, cut his food for him, and helped him eat his meal.  Despite being busy, he saw a need and instead of brushing it off, he stopped everything to help.  It was a stunning example of compassion and generosity, and it was humbling for those around them to see the worker’s example.

Sometimes in order to help out, we have to bring our personal lives to a full stop.  We have to take our eyes off ourselves and our personal goals, and look another way.  We have to see those around us, notice what’s happening, and assist when we can.  Unlike the patron at the restaurant, the person in need may not ask us for help.  They may independently try to struggle through on their own.  But that shouldn’t stop us from offering.  If we see someone trying hard, struggling to do something, we can jump in, smile and offer a helping hand.  Everyone appreciates the kindness that comes when someone offers to help.  We all have a lot to get done, and some things are hard for all of us.  If we can extend ourselves in some small way to help someone else, we will be greatly blessed.  We will have a better understanding of compassion, feel humble for the opportunity to serve, and happy we extended ourselves.

Every day we have an opportunity to serve those around us.  Of course, if we choose to we can ignore the needs of others, and continue on our course.  Nobody would blame us for getting our jobs done and being focused on our personal goals.  But if we stopped to help and offered our time when the opportunity arose, and tried to assist and accommodate someone else, our experiences in this life would be enhanced and benefitted.  There is nothing that will teach us more about ourselves than when we are in the service of others.  We learn to be more patient, more kind, more gracious, and we become more noble.  It’s great to be successful in our goals, but it’s even better to be successful as people.  And we achieve no greater success than when we help someone else.

Today if you see someone in need, someone struggling alone, stop for a moment and offer your help.  Lift them by giving your assistance and showing you care.  You have great generosity inside you.  Share it with those around you.  Offer your hand, offer your time, and enjoy the gratitude you feel for the opportunity to help.  Make someone’s day easier and your day will be brighter and happier.

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Head and Heart

24 Sep

When we are attracted to someone, we feel excited and happy when they are near. We feel drawn to them and think about them all the time. We want to be with them and we want them to want us in return. We aren’t thinking about logic, we aren’t thinking about being reasonable, we’re thinking with our hearts. We feel compelled to seek them out, and the pull is physical, and emotional. People say the heart wants what the heart wants, and it feels like that’s true. We’re drawn with our hearts in the beginning, but after a while, our heads must enter the picture. We start thinking about the other person more objectively. We start seeing things we missed at first, and we can then determine if a continuing relationship with them is beneficial.

We have a lot to offer. We have many gifts to present. If we want relationships that will endure, and make us happy, we must recognize not only what we bring but what the other person has to offer as well. We deserve the very best relationships possible. We deserve all the good things we want. If we take the time to let our heads evaluate where our hearts have taken us, and then carefully consider what the long term results will likely be, we can make better decisions about who we want to share our lives with. It’s exciting when our hearts are calling the shots, but it’s important that we engage our heads to ensure we’re headed down a road we want to travel.

Sometimes we fall for people who are not good for us. We all have issues, but if we connect with someone whose issues are hurtful to us, who have more problems than we can handle, or who cannot commit, it’s painful. If we’re wise, we’ll look at these situations openly and without reservation or protection, and let the full measure of their impact weigh on us. We need to see everything clearly so we know what’s best for us. There may be times when we have to leave a relationship because the long range prognosis is unhappiness. It’s difficult to leave any relationship, but our happiness is important. We are the only ones who can ensure it. We need to do all we can to make that happen.

Today if you’re evaluating a relationship, keep your eyes open. See everything clearly – all the good and all the bad. Determine what’s best for you. If you decide to continue it, you’ll have a better understanding of where it will take you. If you decide it’s not going where you want, do what is needed to let it go. Whatever you choose, make sure it’s the best decision for you. You deserve the very best. And you can make sure you get it.

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Making Lists

22 Sep

When we have a lot to do, or things we want to remember, many of us make lists. We write down what we need to buy at the grocery store, the things we need to remember to get done, and the places we need to visit in accomplishing our errands. Sometimes we make personal lists too. We might record all the things we want to do better, or personal goals we haven’t yet addressed. If we’re the type of person who makes New Year’s Resolutions, those might cover all the things we want to change about ourselves, or ways we want to improve. It’s fine to make that kind of list, but if we only write the things we’re unhappy about and want to change, we might forget all the good qualities we have, and what we’re already doing right.

We all do a lot of things well. We’re responsible, we take care of business, we help out, and dozens of other things on a daily basis. We may forget how effective we are as we go about our daily chores. No matter how long our personal improvement lists are, if we take the time to make another list of all the things we’re doing well and what we like about ourselves, we often find it’s much longer than the one with all the things we want to change. But it seems we don’t often take the time to make that list at all. We take the things we do well for granted. We don’t think they are as important as what we need to change, but we’re wrong. What we’re doing well is very important, and it’s wise to remember that.

Most people are good, most people are kind, and most people care about others. There are some snakes in the mix to be sure, but most of us try hard to be nice and give when we can. There are all kinds of awards for accomplishments the world values, and trying our best to be our best should certainly be recognized. However, there really isn’t any sort of award for people who are nice, or loving, or kind. We need to value it in ourselves. We can plan for self-improvement if we wish, but we should also remember all that we have already accomplished.

Today if you’re making a list of all the things you want to change about yourself, make a second list of all the things you’re already doing well. No matter how much you want to change, chances are the list of things you’ve conquered will be longer. Remind yourself how great you really are. You’ve done a lot and you’ve come a long way. The road is long and there will always be something new to master, but as you travel, don’t forget all you’ve mastered already.

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