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The Shore

6 Aug

If you’ve ever been out at sea, away from the shoreline on all sides, it’s nearly impossible to imagine where land is. Everywhere you look, all you can see is ocean. The enormity of the watery expanse is impressive, and although you can’t see it, you know there is land out there somewhere. If you are the one piloting the ship, you will undoubtedly rely on instruments to keep you on course, and get you to the destination. If you’re a passenger, you must rely on the captain to know what he’s doing. You must have faith that you will reach the shore.

Our lives can sometimes feel like we’re at sea and unable to find land. We can drift around searching, and feel lost. We may get confused trying to figure out which way is north, and which way will lead us home. Since there are no landmarks to guide us at sea, we may wait for night to fall, and try to navigate by the stars. The same is true in our lives. If we’re lost, we sometimes have to wait until things are at their darkest before we figure out which way to go. Like the stars in the sky, we have everything we need inside us to find our direction. And when we’re ready, the answer will be there to guide the way.

We can feel lost for a million different reasons. Perhaps there have been unexpected changes that have upset us, maybe we’re facing a serious personal issue that we haven’t quite figured out, or we’ve just decided we’re going the wrong way and have to change direction. Whatever is making us feel lost can be unsettling, and at times even frightening. It’s hard when we feel untethered, floating around with no anchor, drifting here and there without direction. But if we hold on, and keep paddling, if we remain calm despite the confusion and give ourselves time to think, we will find our way. And then inch by inch we can turn and correct our course. We will feel the tide beneath us taking us where we want to go, and we’ll catch the wind that will carry us there.

Today if you’re feeling lost, if you’re unsure about which way is right, give yourself time. Don’t panic or push. Let your mind rest, and the answers will come. You know what’s best for you. You know where you want to go. You will find your way. Nobody knows you better than you. You are the captain of the ship. Be still and you will feel the tide ready to guide you through. Let it lift you, and soon you’ll be exactly where you want to be.

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Forest and the Trees

5 Jul

When we are working on complex issues, and there are a lot of details, it’s easy to get caught up in them. We try to figure out some tiny aspect that’s eluding us, and if we focus so hard on it we can lose sight of the big picture. When that happens all we can see is a small part of what we’re trying to solve. In some situations we have to take the problem apart, piece by piece, but other times it’s important to see the whole picture to get to the solution. There is a saying, “We can’t see the forest for the trees.” There can be literally thousands of trees in a forest, but if we are focused only on the bark of one tree, only see the patterns in that small section of bark and don’t look up, we can forget where we are. We can lose sight of the entire forest.

Complicated issues, by their very nature, tend to have a lot of moving parts, and a lot of things to consider. There are the other people involved, the timing, the costs if they must be considered, the method for solving the issue, and perhaps a dozen other factors to think about. If we get too tied up in one segment, if we expend all our energies in figuring out that small piece, we may never figure out how to put all the pieces together. We need to step back, and see the entire picture. What does everything need to look like when it’s done? Where do we need to be? How can everything work together?

Stepping back when we have a lot at stake takes practice. If the issue is intense, and we are emotionally invested, it’s even harder. But if we can stop analyzing for a moment, step back two paces, and look at the entire situation, the answers are likely to come. If we want to put together a jigsaw puzzle, we can’t just look at the corner pieces, and try to figure out what it will look like completed. We have to dump all the pieces out, and then look at the whole picture on the box to get an idea of where things will go. Without that, we would be lost, and the puzzle would never be done.

Today if you’re stumped working on a complicated situation, stop and step back. Look at the whole problem again, and remember where you’re trying to go. Imagine it completed, imagine it solved, and think about what it would look like. See the entire thing. Your focus will broaden, and those answers you are looking for will rise. They say the devil is in the details, and if we get caught up in the details, that can certainly be true. You will complete this project, you will solve this problem, and you will figure out all the pieces. You can see it all when you step back. So step back, and then go forward. You’ll get there. You’re closer now than you’ve ever been.

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What do you see?

17 Jun

People who witness crimes, and are interviewed by police often have very different stories about what happened. Their descriptions of the perpetrator tend to vary widely – some say he had brown hair, some say he was wearing a hat, some say he was tall, and others say he was average height. There is always a lot of discrepancy between those seeing the same event. The event only went one way. Why are there so many different stories? We all have our own slant on things, our own spectrum through which we see things. Perhaps the angle is slightly different, or the light is a little brighter in different places. Sometimes we think we see things that aren’t even there. There is a lot going on in our heads, and during times of excitement, that can alter what we perceive.

I read a funny article about some ridiculous answers students gave for test questions. One really caught my eye. The question was posed as a statement, “Define hard water.” The student’s answer was “ice.” I laughed because although this was not the answer the teacher was looking for, it was accurate. Ice is, in essence, hard water. The student’s understanding of what was being asked was skewed by their perception of the question. Our lives are that way. We understand things depending on where we are, and what we’re doing.

Sometimes we misunderstand messages that others give us because our perception isn’t in the same place as theirs. A simple gesture can be misconstrued to be something entirely different than it was intended to mean. A word can be said and taken out of context, and misunderstandings happen. We are complicated beings. Our lives are busy, and our minds are actively processing a lot of information all the time. It’s easy to miss a cue, and misinterpret something. It’s important to recognize that, and get the clarification we need before we make judgments.

Today if you think someone has said or done something that has offended you, clarify the situation before you accept it. You may have misunderstood. Ask questions, and find out if what you think happened is accurate. Sometimes the sun is in our eyes, or there is something blocking our view. Clarification will correct the situation. Don’t make assumptions. Get answers. Understanding what is really happening is important. Understanding is the key. Use that key to unlock the truth.

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Looking for the light.

8 Apr

So many times when heavy decisions are looming, we find ourselves searching, trying to find answers, trying to find direction. We are looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, the right way to go, the directions to get to the happy ending. It can be very difficult when others are involved, especially if the decision we make will affect them. We try to figure it out on our own, sometimes we ask others, we weigh the options and the consequences, we calculate the loss or gain, we stumble around, and eventually, for better or worse, we make a decision. Sometimes we actually get it right. Sometimes not. It isn’t easy. After all, there are a lot of things to consider. There are a lot of paths from which to choose. We can’t read the future so we do the best we can.

Maybe you’re struggling with a big decision. Maybe you’ve been struggling with it for some time, for months, maybe even years. Do you go this way or that way? What if you did this? What would happen? What if you did that? What would happen? Which way is right? It can be hard to figure out, and you may be frustrated that you haven’t found the answer. In some instances, either way you go, someone will get hurt, and that just makes the decision harder. The indecision hurts, and you want to let it go. You want to move forward and put this behind you but you feel stuck.

Take some time to stop weighing everything and worrying about outcomes, and just sit for a moment and let your mind rest. Let yourself take a break from the analysis, take some time away to just feel and not think. Pay attention to what you’re feeling. Are you unhappy, are you frustrated, are you unsettled, are you confused, what are you really feeling? Take a little while to just let it go, stop intellectualizing, and just breathe. Just stop for a while. If you give yourself a space, a time when you don’t really have to think about it, you may find the answers will begin to come. You may begin to see some light. You may find the direction you’ve been seeking, and start to see what you need to do.

Looking for the light when we’re struggling in the dark can be daunting. Sometimes we see glimmers that look like the answer, but then they fade. Sometimes we feel sure we’re on the right track, and then it turns and doesn’t fit. Sometimes we just need to stop and let the light find us. Life isn’t easy. It isn’t always a picnic. It’s complicated. But if we take a moment and just rest, just stop, the answers may come. Look up. Keep looking up. Take a moment. Rest. Be still. The answer is just ahead.

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United we stand.

7 Apr

People are complicated.  There is an unlimited supply of versions to our lives.  Everyone has their own interpretation of what is best for them and what they want, and of course, everyone in their sphere also has an interpretation of what is best for them and what they should have.  We all have friends and family who are eager to give us advice and counsel, and sometimes that advice is helpful, sometimes not, and sometimes it’s just annoying.  We have the right to direct our own lives, and even if we ask for advice, we don’t have to take it.  We are really the only ones who know the whole story, and in the end the decision is ours to make.

When we’re making decisions, it’s important to consider everything, especially if the decision is a big one.  How do we feel about it?  How will it impact our future?  What will it cost – not just in money, although that sometimes enters in.  But also the cost of our time and effort.  What will we have to give up to make the change?  Is it worth the effort?  Is it what we really want?  Are we sure?  There are countless questions that come up and we have to address them all.  Ignoring them will not make them go away.  If we don’t consider everything and just go ahead with a decision, we could find ourselves second guessing it forever.  Even when we think we’re sure we know what we want, there can be complications.

I have a friend with a horrible job.  By anyone’s standards her job is horrible.  The location is bad as well.  She says she wants very much to find a better job and move to a better location.  She’s asked all her friends for advice and help to make this happen.  But she’s neglected to even apply for jobs referred to her, and when she does get an interview she doesn’t prepare for it or she goes improperly dressed.  Many people have offered to help her prepare, given her advice on how to dress, and offered to help her apply for new jobs.  But the offers largely go ignored.  Needless to say, she’s still in her horrible job.  Even though she says she wants these changes, it’s obvious that she hasn’t done what she’s needed to do in order to facilitate them.

If we’re going to make a decision, we have to pull in the whole team – our internal team.  We have to face our fears, address our needs, see how we feel, decide if we’re really committed to the change, and determine if we will do what it will take to make the decision.  We can’t ignore anything.  We have to look at everything and ‘open all the drawers’ so to speak.  Once we’ve done that, pulled everything together, and are united in moving forward, we can stand firm in our decision knowing this is what we really want, and we will persevere in order to achieve it.  That’s the beginning.  And you can’t reach any destination unless you begin.

Life goes by whether you’re happy or not, rich or poor, young or old.  It goes by fast.  If we don’t like where we are it’s our responsibility to change our situation.  Nobody can do it for us.  There are times when we wish they could, but we have to do it ourselves.  If we take some time to think about what we really want and what it will take to get there, and then take the time to unite ourselves to make the change, we can change just about anything in our lives we want to.  Are you thinking about making a change?  Have you been hesitating?  Now is the time.  Don’t wait another moment to get where you want to be.  Begin now.

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