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Fairy Dust

2 May

Facing our lives as they really are is necessary for success.  We have to see everything clearly in order to move forward.  However, sometimes we might decide to look away from reality and prefer a fantasy view of where we are and what we’re going through.  Maybe it’s because we’re facing difficult times that are overwhelming and don’t think we can manage them.  But refusing to see things as they are and choosing make believe doesn’t help us go forward.  The truth of our situations is what is real.  There is no magical fairy dust to make things right.  If we gloss over our problems or pretend they don’t exist it will hurt us in the end.  We are courageous and smart enough to face and overcome anything that comes to us.  Looking away only postpones what we need to do to move forward and holds us in place.

There is nothing wrong with having an active imagination. We can dream about things we want to do, and imagine what our lives would be like if things were different.  Sometimes our time spent dreaming fuels ideas that enable us to create better situations and move toward the goals we’re dreaming about.  We are creative by nature and if we imagine how things could be and really define them, it can motivate us to do what is needed to make them a reality.  There isn’t anything we can’t do and no destination is too far away.  Dreaming of making our goals a reality is fine but dreaming and imagining won’t make them come true.  If we want to change, we must face our lives as they are and then do what is needed to take us where we want to go.

Sometimes we all go through difficult trials and sometimes we suffer as we try to navigate them.  Some things are painful, and can stop us completely as we try to understand and move through them.  Checking out and pretending they don’t exist may bring momentary relief from the situation but it will never help us move through it.  Putting a shine on a problem may make it look better, but it won’t solve it.  If we want to get past something difficult the best thing to do is to march right through it.  We are strong enough to face whatever comes to us and brave enough to deal with any complication.  We can find our way if we look at everything clearly and openly.  We have everything we need to solve any problem.  There is nothing that will conquer us.  We can do whatever we must to move forward.

Today if you feel like hiding out or looking away because a situation you’re facing feels too hard to go through, remember how strong you are.  There isn’t anything that will defeat you.  You can manage anything that comes to you and you will find your way.  You are stronger than you realize.  Look at what’s real and be confident.  You can do anything.

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Not This Again

27 Apr

We learn a lot as we go through our lives. Each day brings opportunities to learn new things, develop new skills and new behaviors. Sometimes trials come upon us and we try to overcome them, or solve them, or just try to get through them. But we all have lessons to learn. If we learn what is needed to get through a situation, we can move forward. No matter what problems come upon us, they aren’t permanent and will eventually go away again. However, if we didn’t learn anything from the experience, and only endured it until it changed, odds are good we’ll get to go through it again. Life has a way of looping our problems back around when we don’t figure out how to solve them.  If we never change our patterns or response to an issue, it may become a recurring nightmare. Given that, it’s in our best interest to try and not only endure our problems, but take the time to figure out why we have them, and then do what is needed to solve them once and for all.

Practice is the key to proficiency in most cases. When we’re learning a new skill the more we do it, the better we get at it. Repetition helps us remember how things are done and effectively teaches us new patterns. But repetition in our problems isn’t always pro-active. Having the same problem over and over doesn’t make us better people. It doesn’t make us proficient at anything but going through the same thing again and again. If we find ourselves in a familiar situation that is unpleasant and difficult to manage, the familiarity is our clue that we have something to learn. If we look at the situation objectively we can identify what we need to do to prevent it from returning.  Identifying the underlying issue is just the first step though. After we see what needs to change to prevent the same problem from recurring, we must adopt the change to end it. Just understanding what causes the situation is never enough. If we want to stop repeating the same behaviors, we actually have to stop repeating the same behaviors.

We are in charge of our lives. Sometimes the difficult issues we face over and over again come to us because of our associations with others. Perhaps they aren’t the best influence in our lives, maybe they have personal issues that impact us, or maybe they exercise authority over us in unproductive ways. If contact with them brings us hardship we may choose to distance ourselves from them or eliminate our interactions altogether. If the relationship is important to us, or has been in our lives for a long time, that decision may be difficult. We don’t want to hurt others but it’s important to recognize when our relationships are hurting us. If they are, we can modify them so we can move forward. We know what we need better than anyone else. If we need a change, we can make it. We are completely capable of managing our lives in positive and beneficial ways that bring us happiness and peace.

Today if you’re facing the same problem you’ve faced before and want to move forward, look at the situation clearly and see what you need to do to change. You can make any change you need to be happy. You are capable of understanding what needs to be done. Learn everything you can this time around and solve the problem once and for all. Look ahead and see where you want to be. And then, do what it takes to get there.

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Losing Ourselves

21 Apr

Hard times come to us all. Sometimes we get so caught up in what’s going wrong in our lives we can’t see anything else. We can only focus on the problems we’re facing. We may feel beset, overwhelmed and quite miserable. It can seem that everywhere we look there is nothing but bad news. It’s like being in a fog of unhappiness and it’s hard to find a way out. But there are things we can do to find peace even when things are going wrong. One way to get out from under the trial is to reach out and help someone else. We may think we can’t possibly help anyone else when our lives are a mess, but doing things for others allows us to take our eyes off our own problems for a while. When we’re helping someone else there isn’t time to think about ourselves. We can get lost in service, and when we do we find respite. It seems counter intuitive to try to give when we feel like we’re going under but if we do we will be lifted and our burdens, no matter what they are, will feel lighter.

We all have so many blessings. Even in our darkest moments we have much for which to be thankful. Maybe we don’t live in a mansion, but we have a safe place to sleep. Maybe we don’t wear designer clothes, but we are warm and dry. Maybe we don’t have money in the bank, but we have enough for our needs. We take a lot for granted and forget how much we really have. Even in our darkest hours we have things for which to be grateful. And often we have more than many others. If we can remember that and share what we have, even when we’re struggling, we will find peace and comfort. It’s impossible to focus on what’s going wrong in our lives when we’re trying to help someone else with something they need. Seeing another person’s problems and helping them find comfort brings comfort to us as well.

When things go wrong and the bottom falls out, when we lose our footing and think we’ll never survive, all is not lost. No matter what we go through in life, we will find a way through. There will always be someone with more troubles and fewer blessings than us. If we reach out and extend ourselves to help, to serve in some way, and to share what we have, we will forget our sorrows and find joy. When we’re focused on someone else, we can’t focus on what’s going wrong for us. We will lose ourselves and our troubles for a moment and reach a little higher. We’ll find comfort and confidence as we remember the blessings we have, and see how we’re bringing joy to others by helping. We have so much to offer. Troubles will come and there will be hard times. But we can navigate them and find solace by helping those around us, and remembering who we are.

Today if you feel overwhelmed by things that are going wrong, and surrounded by trouble, look around and see where you could help. Extend yourself and do something for someone else. You will forget your problems for a moment and the service will bring you joy. When you return to the issues that are pressing, you’ll be rejuvenated and stronger. There isn’t anything you can’t do. Lose yourself helping someone else. Your problems will seem to diminish, and you’ll be comforted and happier.

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Learning to Bend

31 Mar

There are few times when things go exactly like we think they will. Our plans often have many modifications and sometimes we reach an ending that doesn’t look anything like we thought it would at the beginning. There are a lot of variables in life and we can’t control anything but our own choices. Other people may get involved, the situation may change, the weather may even come into play, and a thousand other possibilities. If we decide things have to go exactly as planned and they don’t, we may find ourselves in a very uncomfortable place. It’s great to make decisions but it’s important to remember complications may arise that color how things actually happen. We have to learn to bend from time to time. Sometimes it’s easy to turn one way or another, and other times it can be very difficult. But if we don’t bend our plans may fail altogether. It may be disappointing to have to change plans especially if they are very important to us. But it’s better to have some flexibility instead of breaking apart at the seams because we couldn’t stretch. Learning to bend takes practice but we can manage it. We can adjust and accommodate whatever is needed to find success.

Control is an illusion we sometimes believe in. We might think if we plan well or spend more money nothing will go wrong. But there is no way to predict the future and we can’t control anything but ourselves. There are often unforeseen developments and complications we couldn’t predict. Sometimes things go perfectly but often there is some sort of glitch. No matter what comes, no matter how complicated things get, if we are patient and look at the situation objectively we can find a way through. Sometimes complications bring us unexpected surprises that work even better than the original plan. If we’re flexible and able to adjust, we can take full advantage of those benefits when they surface.

Disappointment is natural when we have to make unwanted changes but disappointment is just a sign that we’re in transition. We are moving from one point to another. It doesn’t have to be negative. If we are able to lessen our grip on our first ideas we can more effectively embrace the next. Moving from one decision to another often brings challenges but it can also bring insight. Sometimes stepping away from our first position helps us see other options more clearly. If we can be flexible, if we can embrace change when needed, and if we can bend into the wind, we can find success. We can be open to new ideas and explore new paths.

Today if your plans aren’t working out like you hoped, there is another way. Your options are endless. Look around. See the whole picture and let new ideas find you. You can accommodate any change needed and you will succeed. Bend a little and stretch to find the answers. They are there waiting for you.

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Hand Off

18 Mar

We all do many things well and some things very well. We can learn new skills and become proficient at anything we like. But sometimes we might find ourselves in over our heads when we’re in a situation that is more difficult than we planned. Maybe we don’t have the experience to manage the issue or we can’t handle the demands it requires. We can’t be good at everything and it’s important to recognize there are times when we need to hand things off to someone else. Letting something go and giving it to someone who is better equipped to handle it doesn’t mean we’ve failed. The most successful people in the world are those who understand they don’t need to know everything, and if they don’t have the skills to manage a project, there is someone who does who can help. It’s wise and appropriate to hand off issues that are more than we’re prepared to take on. This is not the same as abandoning our everyday responsibilities when they get complicated. Those are ours, and we are must manage them. But when we get into situations we don’t have the tools to manage, the best we can do is let someone with the best skill set take over. That way the issue gets attention, we aren’t stressed out of our minds trying to do something we can’t, and we gain the best possible outcome.

Learning to delegate and let others do things instead of trying to manage everything ourselves can be difficult. If we have control issues we may believe we are the only one who can do the job right even when everything indicates that isn’t so. Control issues are a form of selfishness.  If we have to control everything we will inevitably fail at something.  It’s better to trust others more equipped to handle the issues we can’t.  Some people think if they delegate a difficult task to someone else, people will think they’re incompetent or they’ve failed. Opinions vary but we never fail when we recognize our limits and then do what is needed to move forward. We are capable of seeing the situation objectively and making any changes needed to ensure success. The successful resolution of the issue is the goal. If we keep that forefront in our minds it will be easier to delegate when we need to.

It’s foolish to believe we are good at everything. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Recognizing them both and accepting them helps us understand where we are and what we can do best. We can accept our limitations, and do what is needed to work around them. Working with others and combining forces and knowledge makes everything easier. When we do, we can draw on many different strengths instead of just our own. Allowing others to help will move us forward more efficiently. We don’t have to do everything ourselves. We don’t have to be the one and only. We can collaborate and in doing so, we will win.

Today if you’re drowning in a situation above your abilities, reach out and get help. There are a lot of people around you and they all have talents and gifts you don’t possess. Trust them and allow them into the circle. Hand off the issues that are beyond your reach.  You’ll feel better and success will come more easily. Reach out and let others reach back. Together you’ll overcome anything.

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