Archive | Acceptance RSS feed for this section

Report Card

28 Mar

No matter where we live or who we are, there may be others around us who have ideas about how we should be living our lives. Maybe they think we should work in certain fields, or marry, or stay single, or live with the family, or a million other variations. There can be great pressure to conform if we are surrounded by others who have done things a certain way for a long time. Our lives belong to us, and we get to choose what we do. But the judgment of others may come into play. If we want to please those we love and they have strong ideas about our lives, we may go along.  And we can go along any time we choose to. But if we aren’t living genuinely and expressing who we are, we won’t find true happiness and satisfaction. The report card others have for us may be important to them, but it doesn’t mean it has to be important to us. We can set our own standards and make our own choices. It may not be easy to break a trend, but we are wise enough to know what we really want, and brave enough to get it. The only report card we need to be concerned with is the one we set for ourselves. It doesn’t matter if everyone around us wants to do things a certain way. If it doesn’t fit who we are, we may choose another road.

Some people don’t like it when others are different. They feel more comfortable when everybody looks the same, and does the same things. It may feel more secure knowing what each day will bring and how things are likely to go. In situations like that, if we try to do something different we may be judged or criticized in an effort to bring us in line with everyone else. It’s not comfortable to be judged by others, and if it’s strong enough we may try to conform. But conforming to get along will only work for a short time. Who we are will eventually need to come out or we’ll never be happy. We can do things our way, and express our differences in an appropriate manner that is respectful. We don’t have to conform. We can choose to be who we really are and if judgments come, we can navigate them.

There is no one right way to live a life. There is no perfect model, and there are countless ways to live well. There are some who believe their model is the only one that works or counts, but that’s never true. Every life that is lived genuinely and honestly is lived well. We can live in the country or the city, in a house or an apartment, with others or alone.  As long as it’s the life we choose, it’s right for us. And when we live the life that’s right for us we will find true happiness. This life is a gift. Every single day is precious and we deserve to be happy. If others want to grade us and judge us, and aren’t in agreement with our choices – it will be their burden to carry. We can be fine just being ourselves. We can set our own standards, and live according to our own dictates. We were created to be exactly who we are. When we embrace that, we will find true happiness.

Today if you feel like you’ve been trying to fit a mold that isn’t you, remember who you are is perfect. You are exactly the person you need to be. Show us your genuine and honest self. You have so much to offer. Share it with the world and we’ll love you just as you are.

Tags: , ,

Photoshop

18 Feb

In today’s technical age there are all kinds of ways to make things seem different than they really are. Pictures can be altered to produce images that aren’t real or make the subject appear to be more perfect. These techniques are used constantly in advertising and the media has made them commonplace. When our lives aren’t going exactly the way we want them to, or we aren’t exactly where we want to be, we may wish we had something like that to make us appear different than we are. We might wish to appear taller, smarter, thinner, more attractive, more confident or a dozen other adjectives. But there is no way to “Photoshop” our lives to make them look the way we’d like them to. We are where we are, and all the pretending in the world won’t change anything. Even if we could use illusion and deception to make things look different, it can’t last forever. Eventually the curtain will fall and we’ll be exposed. But if we don’t like where we are, and if the situation we’re in isn’t working, there are things we can change. If we don’t like what we’re doing, we can stop doing it. We can make any decision we want to and adjust our lives. We probably can’t make ourselves taller but we can change a lot. We can do more than just look different on the outside. We can truly change any way we like.

It takes time to figure out what we want and where we want to go. While we’re finding our way, we may try on different things to see if we like them. Sometimes they’ll feel natural and fit where we’re headed, and other times they’ll fall away. But as we’re striving to find what we want, our lives are going by and we are expressing ourselves as we are. Sometimes those expressions aren’t exactly what we’d like. Maybe our temper needs to be tamed, or our language needs improvement, or we want to alter our appearance to better suit the desired destination. It takes time to change but we will accomplish it step by step. In the interim, we may feel unsettled and struggle to find what works best. However, even if we’re in transition we can be confident. If where we are isn’t exactly where we want to be we can continue going forward until we get there. Continuing to move forward is the key, and the confidence that comes from doing that will help us. We are fine as we are now even if it’s not where we want to be. We can manage today as it is, and each day we move forward will take us a little closer to our goal.

Sometimes the idea of changing can seem daunting and if we choose to, we may instead live our lives dishonestly. We may pretend to be someone we aren’t, say we believe things we don’t, and go along with others even when we don’t agree. But if we choose that option we can’t share our genuine unique influence. We all have special gifts to offer that nobody else can give. If we keep those gifts to ourselves and instead pretend to be something else, the world will miss the blessings we have to offer. We have the distinct privilege of making a difference because of who we are. We don’t have to use illusion and we don’t need “Photoshop” to help us. Who we really are can shine through and be a positive influence on the world. If we want to change, we can. Whatever we want to achieve, we can achieve. Wherever we want to go, we can get there. But until we do, we can genuinely be ourselves along the journey. Our contribution is valuable no matter where we are in our lives. We have a lot to offer, and the world wants to hear it.

Today if you’ve been pretending to be something you aren’t, or if you’ve been trying to look different than you really are, let it go. You have so much to give and we all need your special influence. You are great just being you. If you want to change, you can. Until then, be the best you can be exactly as you are now.

Tags: , ,

Perfection

13 Feb

Today’s personal standards tend to be very high. It seems we’re expected to look our best all the time, be friendly and intelligent in every situation, and strive to live a high standard of living. It’s not enough for us to be normal people – more and more it seems we’re expected to be super people who never tire, never get grumpy, and are always ready for the next challenge. Of course those messages are false and unattainable. The problem is although we know it’s impossible, sometimes we buy into them and think we should meet the expectations. We might even think we need to be perfect. But what does it mean to be perfect? Is it a reflection of society’s idea of perfect, our family’s idea of it, our friends’ impressions of it, or can we decide? Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of what perfection is, and the only standard we need to measure ourselves against is the one we choose. It may be very different from person to person. But when we are striving to be our best, our standards are the only ones that count. We don’t have to be tall, or thin, or genius, or rich. We can be what we determine is best for us. It’s fine to strive for perfection as long as we define what that looks like.

The world is filled with differences. Everywhere we look there are all kinds of people, no two exactly the same. We don’t look alike, we don’t dress alike, we don’t act the same way, we don’t even speak the same language. There is no way to measure one against the other and there can’t possibly be one version that is better than another. Each has it’s own assets and draw backs. That being the case, there is no way to define what a perfect person should be. If we try to measure ourselves against others, and their expectations, we may come up short. Someone will always be more talented, more beautiful, more gifted, or more wealthy. If we want to reach personal perfection, we can do it in our own unique way.

There is often pressure to conform and be like those around us. It can seem easier if we fit in and mimic the patterns and lifestyles of those we associate with. But if we do everything the way someone else is doing it, there is no room for us to do it our way. We are experts in being ourselves. Nobody knows us like we do. We know what makes us happy, what makes us mad, and who we really are. What’s unique about us is what’s perfect. We don’t have to fit somebody else’s mold, and we don’t have to pretend we’re something we’re not. Just being who we are, striving for what’s important to us, going after the goals we want to achieve, and being completely authentic is perfect. Every one has a special gift to share with the world that nobody else can bring. If we remember that when there is pressure to conform, we’ll have the courage to be uniquely ourselves. We can do what we want, dress the way we like, and live our lives our way. And when we do, we’ll be perfect.

Today you don’t have to try to make yourself into something you aren’t in order to fit in. There is nobody else like you in the whole world. You are a blessing to us all just as you are. Be uniquely you and show us how wonderful that is. It’ll be the very best you can do. In fact, it’ll be perfect.

Tags: , ,

Setting the Standard

22 Jan

Opinions and interpretations are as unique as each of us. Nobody is completely like anyone else and that’s reflected in how we perceive things and make our personal judgments. We each determine what we want, how we want to be, and where our lives will go. And we decide what standards we’ll hold as we move along. What is acceptable to one person may be objectionable to another. What is immoral to one may be common place to another. There is a wide variety of impressions and interpretations. What we determine is right for our lives is what we may hold fast to. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing or what is common. If it doesn’t fit with what we want to embrace, we need not accept it. Sometimes this causes friction but if we’re open and honest in sharing who we are and what we want, others will respect us, even if they disagree.

Those close to us may try to convince us to do things their way. People are generally most comfortable being around others who are like them. When we differ or choose a different path, it may be difficult for others to understand our choices and accept them. Trying to convince us to be more like them sometimes seems to be a way to make things easier by eliminating the differences. But differences are important. We need to be who we genuinely are, and we are entitled to embrace that. We need not succumb to pressure and try to fit in. We may set our own standards and hold onto them. In time, those who care about us will understand how important our choices are to us, and will eventually accept us as we are. In the meantime, we can be polite and choose our own path.

Conformity is a vehicle that on the outside seems to bring peace. If everyone is reading from the same book and on the same page, we all know what to expect. But conformity comes with a price. If we conform to ideals and choices that aren’t what we really want, we lose part of our individuality and uniqueness. If we were all the same the world would be very predictable, maybe even peaceful, but quite boring. We need all the colors of the rainbow to make the painting complete. We need to hear all the voices, and be true to who we really are. We deserve to make our own choices and whatever we choose will be exactly right for us. Our lives are ours to live as we see fit. We can make any choices we want and we can design them exactly the way we want them. If they don’t fit the norm, we will be the spice that brings the flavor. If we don’t look like everyone else, we’ll be the accent that brings the pop of color. We know what we want, and we can be anything we want to be. We don’t have to bow to convention, we don’t have to follow along, and we don’t have to stay in line. We can bring our own influence and embellish life by being exactly who we are.

Today if you’re feeling pressure to conform, if you feel like the odd duck because you don’t look like or act like those around you, embrace your uniqueness. You get to set your own standards for your life and you will do it perfectly. You are a great blessing to the world. Be yourself.  Show us all how wonderful you really are.

Tags: , ,

Finding Fault

12 Dec

We all make judgments in our lives. We decide what we think is right and wrong, and what is true or false. We base our judgments on our personal paradigms and values, and what we perceive as facts. We make judgments about situations and decisions, but we also include people in those judgments even when we don’t have all the facts. And we never have all the facts when others are involved. Unless we are the ones in the situation we’re judging, chances are good our speculation will be erroneous in some way. Judging and comparing are natural human responses to life. We evaluate each situation before we go forward. But loving one another and having compassion for each other doesn’t involve judging. When we love and care we can do it unconditionally. We can love each another even if we’re very different, even if we don’t understand decisions that have been made, and even if we are annoyed. Love and compassion are the highest emotions we can express, and take precedence over everything else. We can forget that when someone does something hurtful, or stupid, or whatever else we think applies. Love and compassion are higher, and they need to be honored as such.

People make mistakes. Some of us make more than others, and sometimes we falter in a huge way. We impact others with our decisions, and sometimes we hurt them badly. Nobody is perfect, and even if we’re trying hard to do what’s right, we may stumble. Having the unconditional support and love of others around us when we fall is priceless. We already know we’ve screwed up, we already know we were wrong, and we really don’t need someone else pointing it out and reminding us. But everyone does that, we all criticize sometimes when things go wrong, and all it really accomplishes is to make those involved feel worse. If we were more compassionate, if we treated others the way we would like them to treat us in the same situation, it would go a long way toward finding resolution. We could talk about it, listen openly, express our feelings, and then let it go.

What if someone makes a very bad decision that really damages us? What if we’re so angry we feel like we want to crush them? Those situations happen and when they do it’s very difficult to think before we act. But we need to stop and consider what we’ll gain afterward. If we make them feel as bad as they made us feel, where will that take us? Will it make things better or worse? If we take a moment to think about the big picture and where we want to be, if we ponder where we want the relationship to go before we act, we have a better chance of making things better. Some decisions are so egregious they destroy relationships completely. When that happens, anger and outrage will do nothing to help. But if there is a bad decision that isn’t so far reaching and we want to preserve our relationship, we can remember our love and compassion for the other person is higher than our anger and disappointment. We don’t have to condone bad behavior, but adding ours to it won’t solve anything. We can reach higher, and go forward with confidence.

Today if you’ve been judging those around you and making decisions about their behavior, try to see things from a wider perspective. If you love and accept them as they are, your relationships will be stronger and more fulfilling. Show them your heart, share your concern for them and they will draw closer to you. Having close, strong relationships makes our lives better. Enhance yours by building them today.

Tags: , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →