Archive | July, 2016

Fault Lines

20 Jul

As we go through our lives and make decisions, sometimes we take a wrong turn and make choices that don’t work out.  We might make decisions that take us somewhere we don’t want to go or bring us hardship.  If we are heavily influenced to make a decision and we agree to it and it doesn’t work out we may blame the person who pressured us to comply.  We may say it’s their fault we are miserable.  While it’s true others may strongly influence us and their pressure may be great, if we decide to go along with their request the decision is ultimately ours.  The choice belongs to us and the results of that choice are also ours.  We own them.  We may say we were forced to do something we really didn’t want to do and there may have been great pressure to comply but the choice we make is ours.  There is no way to push the consequences of our decisions onto others.  We may be angry we complied and we may be unhappy with what has happened, but we own the decision.  Of course, those who pressured us have their part to answer for but we direct our own lives and what we choose is our responsibility.

Blaming can be a dangerous game.  If we make it a habit of blaming others or situations for our decisions we may successfully push the attention onto them but it will never change the truth.  If we don’t accept our role in our decisions and say it’s someone or something else’s fault, we can’t learn from the experience.  If we don’t learn from what has happened, we may repeat the whole process again.  The old adage that those who don’t learn from the past are destined to repeat it is true.  If we can’t accept our responsibility for a bad decision we can’t learn the lessons that may keep us from making the same choice again.  Nobody wants a life going from one disaster to the next but if we don’t learn from our choices that may be our experience.

Making mistakes is a natural part of life.  We don’t know everything and we don’t know what we don’t know.  We sometimes blunder through with half the information we need to make a good decision and sometimes we are blinded by promises that are half true.  If we falter and choose something that brings hardship or disappointment and take the time to see where we made the wrong turn it can help us prevent doing it again in the future.  There is great benefit in going through hard lessons and if we are wise we will take the time to learn as much as we can as we navigate them.  Many times we make excellent decisions that take us where we want to go.  We often choose well and are happy with our choices.  We can be confident that if we make a wrong turn we will be able to right our course and go forward with courage.

Today if you’ve made a wrong turn and chosen something that has brought you disappointment or hardship, accept your decision and move forward.  Learn all you can from the experience and be confident.  You are wise and able to choose well.  A setback will not stop you.  Turn your course and continue again.  You will find great success.

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Sitting Tight

19 Jul

There are times in our lives when we wait for something to happen. Maybe it’s something as simple as waiting on a train or a cab or a bus. Or maybe it’s something more complicated like waiting for a change to happen for something we really want. Waiting for a bus is easy. We can read, chat with those around us, enjoy our surroundings while we wait, or spend the time thinking. But waiting for important changes to occur can be more difficult. If we’re waiting for someone to change their mind, or for our lives to move from one situation to another, or for something important to happen, the wait can be interminable. Sometimes we wait because there is nothing we can do to move things forward and we are dependent on the actions of others. Other times we may sit tight in a situation simply because we haven’t yet figured out what to do next. If we aren’t sure how to take the next steps we may wait and see if things will change on their own and move us through. That rarely happens and if we wait for a situation to move us forward without doing it ourselves, the wait may be long or even endless. We can sit and wait for as long as we want but doing nothing will not change our circumstance. If we want the change we’re waiting for to happen, it’s often up to us to do what’s needed. Instead of waiting for things to change on their own, we can pro-actively move our lives in any direction we choose.

When we’re waiting we have no control over the situation. We have no way to direct our progress or move forward. Waiting keeps us where we are until something else happens. Because we are dependent on an action outside ourselves we have no power to determine when the needed development will occur. But we do have power over ourselves and we can decide when the wait will end. If we want to, we can take control and change our personal situation to move things forward on our own. We can determine to set our plans in place and take the next step. We need not wait any longer than we are comfortable for something else to happen first. When we’re ready, whether the anticipated change or development has happened or not, we can move ahead.

Sometimes because of our relationships we may feel we need to wait. Perhaps someone depends on us to stay where we are or keep things the same. Everyone has their own desires and expectations about their lives and if we’re involved in them they may have influence over our choices. We can keep our commitments to those around us and still control our own lives. If we need to change something and move in a different direction, we can. We can be kind and gracious and still make decisions that direct our lives the way we want them to go. It’s up to us how we’ll move forward. Having control over our decisions is appropriate and important. We know what’s best for us and we need not wait for others to approve of our choices or embrace them. We don’t have to wait for anything. We can move forward whenever we’re ready.

Today if you feel like you’ve been waiting for something to happen so you can move forward, take the first step on your own. You know what you want to do and where you want to go. You have everything you need to get there. You don’t have to wait. You can start today. Take the first step.

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Tough Nut

18 Jul

Sometimes when we have difficult things we have to do or when a situation becomes hard to handle, we often feel we’re having a bad time.  Difficult problems can be hard to solve and we may struggle to find answers but it doesn’t always mean it’s a bad experience.  Hard times don’t always mean bad times.  Untangling complicated developments and figuring out unexpected problems may take us off the path we want to be on but that’s not always a bad thing.  We learn a lot as we tackle new situations and everything we learn can be beneficial to us in some way.  If we look at these situations more positively we may find our way through them more easily.  We are capable of managing any problem or complication that comes to us.  We know in the beginning we’ll eventually solve the issue no matter how hard it is, and in the end we will be successful.  If we focus on that instead of the annoyance of going through the issue we will benefit more from the experience and feel better as we push through.

Some problems are very complicated and take time to find answers to.  In many cases, it doesn’t matter how long it takes us to solve them and we can take all the time we need.  We can ponder them, think about the outcomes we want and work them step by step.  At each point as we try to crack the nut, we learn something valuable.  Everything we learn we take with us going forward.  If we have a complex issue that requires going through a lot of steps to find the answers, we grow with each step we take.  Once the problem is solved, all the knowledge we’ve gained getting through it will be valuable and will help us in the future.  Tough nuts may be hard to crack but with determination and faith we will always break through.

It’s a common expression to see difficulty unfavorably and we all want to avoid trouble.  But hard or difficult situations aren’t necessarily bad.  When things are running smoothly our lives seem less worrisome and easier to manage.  But nothing runs smoothly all the time.  There will be regular snags, bumps, detours, problems, and complications.  It’s the nature of life.  Learning to see these experiences merely as enhancements that teach us and not roadblocks that stop us in our tracks will help us gain more as we navigate through them.  There is no problem too difficult for us to solve and no situation too complicated for us to figure out.  We can remember that and see our difficulties for what they are – complications in the process.   If we do, we’ll be more confident moving forward.

Today if you are facing something difficult and you feel it’s a bad situation that’s greater than you can handle, take a more objective look at it.  It’s just a complication along the way.  You will solve it and you will find your way through.  You have everything you need to succeed and you’ll learn more as you go.  You’ll solve the problem no matter what it is.  Be confident.  There isn’t anything you can’t do.

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Make it So

15 Jul

There are times in everyone’s life when we have to face things that are uncomfortable or when unplanned difficult developments occur.  It can be hard to adjust to changes when we’ve previously determined how our plans should go and they don’t comply.  During times like those if we face the truth of the situation we often must modify our path going forward.  Things didn’t work out like we planned so we have to turn a little and try again.  Facing reality is important if we want to live an honest life, but if it seems too difficult to face what’s happening or make modifications, we do have another option – we could lie.  We could lie to ourselves and those around us and pretend things are different than they really are.  It’s never wise to be dishonest and the truth eventually catches up us but we may convince ourselves it’s a possible option until things change.  If we are determined enough to make the situation appear to be different than it is, we may believe if we lie enough we could actually change it.  Of course that’s not possible but times of desperation may cloud our judgment and we may decide to try.  We may convince ourselves we can make it so just because we say it’s so.

We all have situations we feel we could never face.  We may believe we could never survive the death of a close loved one, the betrayal of a dear friend, or the loss of something we cherish.  But there really is nothing that will come to us in our lives we cannot navigate.  There may be very painful moments, we may question our ability to continue on, and we may struggle mightily if the event is seriously terrible but we can get through anything in time.  We can face the truth of any situation and we can find a way to successfully go forward.  We don’t have to lie to ourselves or others.  We are strong enough to handle anything that happens.

Lying is a pernicious and destructive behavior.  If we lie once and find it makes our lives easier or gets us something we desire, it will be easy to lie again.  Over time if we make it a continual habit and choose it whenever things become uncomfortable, it will become easier and easier.  It may become second nature and after a time we may not even give it a second thought.  Once established, lying is a desperate habit that is hard to break.  If we allow ourselves to make it an acceptable part of our lives, when we decide to stop it will take real determination to become honest again.  The damage we do when we lie not only affects us personally but can destroy our relationships.  It’s nearly impossible to have a healthy and strong relationship with a liar.  They can’t be trusted and there is no way to know when or if they are ever truthful.  The price for lying can be steep and bring long lasting complications.  The best we can do if we are uncomfortable with anything is to face it completely and openly.  We are capable of seeing things as they really are, accepting them, and navigating them honestly.  Lying is cowardly.  We are not cowards and have sufficient courage to face whatever comes to us.

Today if you’re struggling with something in your life and think lying about it may bring you some relief, remember there is nothing too difficult or strong for you to manage.  You can be completely honest with yourself and those around you no matter what you’re facing.  Face the situation openly and tell the complete truth.  Your integrity is important and you will never regret honoring it.

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Birds of a Feather

14 Jul

We associate with all kinds of people throughout our lives. Some are family, some are friends, some are lovers, some are acquaintances, and some may even be enemies. Except for family situations or times when we must associate with someone because of a job or other activity, we may choose with whom we spend our time. It’s wise to think about the behaviors and choices of those we share our lives with. We all influence the world in many ways and personal influence can be very powerful. If we frequently associate with someone whose choices are negative, they may, over time, become a detrimental influence in our lives. There is an old saying, “Birds of a feather flock together.” It obviously means people who share the same types of preferences and choices tend to spend time together. It’s fun to share our time with others who enjoy our company and like the same things we do. But if we are in relationships with someone who is making bad choices, or whose behavior is destructive and hurtful, and we spend a lot of time with them, we may get hurt. We are in control of our lives but repeated exposure to negative behavior over time may affect us. We deserve to be happy and live with the least amount of complication. We can associate with whomever we choose, but it’s wise to be careful about their influence over us.

Relationships are important and we all want strong, healthy, and happy ones. If we have someone in our lives who belittles us, ridicules us or makes us feel small or unworthy, their comments and actions may have a negative impact on us. If we’ve been in the relationship for a long time it may be hard to find a way out. But we are important and we deserve to be treated well. If we’re struggling with a family member we value but who treats us this way, we can limit our time with them. We don’t have to sever all our ties but we can lessen our exposure. We don’t have to do anything that is uncomfortable for us and we can take care of ourselves and minimize offensive interactions. We can determine how much time negative influences may have in our lives, and we can limit it so we’re comfortable and do what’s best for us.

If we have friends who make decisions and choices we find difficult, we don’t have to participate. We never have to go along just because someone wants us to, and we always have the right to say no. We can be polite and gracious, but if we’re uncomfortable with any situation we can opt out. We don’t have to go anywhere we don’t want to go, or do anything we don’t want to do. Our lives are ours to design and direct. If we have friends who do things that make us uncomfortable, we can tell them how we feel and explain our boundaries. If they can accept our choices, we may continue the relationship. If they can’t accept them, we may do other things. We can change anything we need to ensure we’re happy with what we’re doing and where we’re going.

Today if you’re in a situation that is making you uncomfortable, if someone near you is including you in a decision that doesn’t feel right or is criticizing you and making you feel bad, you may step away. You deserve the life that makes you happiest. You know what feels right. Determine what works for you and follow that. You deserve every blessing. Today let yourself have them.

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